OH GOD /B/ WHAT HAVE I DONE
>dad walks into my room to give the dog a treat
>notices all my clothes on the floor and scattered about
>says anon you need to do some laundry
>yeah I know
>pets the dog and walks away
>walk up to my laundry basket to see how bad it is
>realize I left my box of dildoes, buttplugs, and pocket pussies in the basket the night before
>he definately had a clear view of it
Im a fat , 20 year old unemployed neckbeard, and the contents of the box are not going to raise his opinion of me.
What do I do to redeem myself?
Pic somewhat related. Glad I didnt have my fake ass out too. That would have been really disastrous.
An hero
>>686624905
Ask me if I care?
>>686624905
Shit can we see your toys?
Have an idea but depends on how tech savy your dad is
You're his son. I'm sure your dad has had a thing in his butt. I'm willing to bet he understands and just wants you to do your fucking laundry.
Also maybe get a job and move out youhe can fuck your mom all over the house again.
>>686624905
Don't sweat it. Don't think about it or bring it up. I know my parents have seen all my bad dragon toys. You need to learn to just stop giving a shit.
>>686626107
This is the box in question
>>686626963
>>686626963
Damn son!
Well you could always pretend it's a girls who came over. Make up a fake fb account he won't know
>>686624905
Get a job, you sack of shit. Get some education, at least a vocational school or something
>>686626963
Can we see that fake booty?
how much are they?
>>686627083
I tried faking a phone call after but I dont think I got that point across.
>>686624905
>>686624905
>>686624905
what the actual fuck is wrong with you...go buy some cheap weights on craigslist and lift those instead of lifting things to put in your ass you little faggot twat
>>686626963
It honestly isnt that noticeable he may not have known
Shoulda asked your dad if he wanted to try some with his little boy.
>>686627263
Hence the FB account. Doesn't need to be plausible I am sure that your dad will believe a slut leaving toys than you being a mega ultra faggot carrot.
>>686627209
50-60 bucks on amazon
This is the one I have now.
Works great while sitting back in a chair or laying on a bed. Bit of a cheap build though.
The white powder is cornstarch, keeps it fresh.
>>686627425
He doesnt have an fb account. Doesnt concern himself with any social media.
>>686627832
What's it feel like while fucking it?
>>686627357
My light was right over it, it would be very well illuminated. The fact that he probably looked at the basket is the nail in the coffin.
>>686627994
Pretty good actually, but its very flimsy/stretchy and a little small. Plus you make a huge mess and use a lot of lube so its not an everyday thing to me.
>>686627925
Excellent then it will work fine!
>>686627832
Time stamp with cock in home boy?
Most likely, the mention of laundry was his way of letting you know he saw it and to be more discreet. He's probably just as embarrassed as you are. I'd say shut up and don't bring it up unless he does, which he probably won't because, again, embarrassed.
But yeah, you need a place of your own. I suggest you find one.
>>686624905
He probably thinks you're a fag now. Have you ever had a gf?
>>686628671
It's the current year, who cares that you use that stuff.
Your dad probably used a wash cloth or whatever.
>its only embarrassing if you allow yourself to be embarrassed
>>686629480
>used a washcloth
Uh...for what? Anal masturbation? How?
>>686629132
Nope
>>686628721
I couldnt get hard if I swallowed a dozen viagras right now. Sorry m8
>20 years old
>still lives at home
>>686629480
The problem lies in the fact that I like ass play. And thats what most of that shit is
>>686629611
>run washcloth under warm water
>fap with washcloth over dick
>????
>profit
>>686629905
pic with time stamp anyway?
Try getting a job, and maybe doing some manly shit
Learn a discipline
Maybe choose not to put things in ur butt and be a loser?
>>686627209
Im assuming you're "Straight"
Why do you have a box of female sex toys.
why does the box have 2 fleshlights..
and 4 dildos...
That ratio is too high.
Thats a GAY ratio
>>686629997
So?
It's not that weird is it, could be worse..
>>686630330
/Thread
>>686630543
You realize I am not op right?
>>686624905
Holy hist 32 pounds of pussy and ass. Who makes this stuff?
>>686630719
YEah it was a misclick xD
>>686630543
STFU, dude. Lots of straight guys enjoy sticking something up there, because it feels good. I've done it a time or two myself. Has absolutely nothing to do with liking men or women.
>>686630867
You gay nigga
>>686625891
Do you care?
>>686624905
Bring a girl over explain. That they're for for her when you guys do the fun times
>>686630543
Because I enjoy assplay. Actually most of those plugs are meant for men.
I FOUND MY DADDYS CLONE A FANNY SEX TOY WHEN I WAS 12 IT WAS GREEN AND COVERED IN OLD ROTTONG SEMEN AND BUTTER USED AS LUBE
FUCKING STUNK
HE STILL HAS IT AND IM 28 NOW
>>686629730
Confirmed, your parents think you are a faggot. Soon your dad will sit down with you to talk about your sexuality and it being a phase.
>>686630543
It's as gay as regular masturbation, imo. I bought a dildo because it was very similar to the same shape and size of my own dick. It gives me prostate orgasms. Feels crazy good so idc if you think it makes me gay.
>>686631095
Look at it this way, you gay.
However if you like assplay then whatever.
Be proud of what you like to your father and not to a forum full of closet homosexuals. Jesus christ.
Its like the same stigma surrounding videogames before you were born.
>>686630867
Im pretty sure it means you're gay famalam.
>>686631320
Holy shit that is pretty gay.
>>686624905
Not fake ass has been seen by him, instead a bunch of dildos and buttplugs, how is that a relief to you?.
>>686631465
Even if it's my wife using it on me?
>>686631721
This.. The ass probably wouldnt have bugged him.
>>686631836
Yep. Stop lying to yourself and parading that woman around for a life of divorce because her husband discovered hes actually gay.
>>686631495
Sure, next you'll be saying I put dildos in my ass because I'm gender dysphoric.
>>686624905
>disastrous
Kek
>>686631836
Dude that's even worse that pretty much confirms that you're the bitch in the relationship which means you just haven't realized you're gay yet.
>>686624905
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
you dont redeem your self
>>686624905
never talk about it, there's nothing you can do to redeem yourself and you both know it (that's why he didn't even mention it)
>>686630867
Yeah, it's gay. You're gay. Your post is gay.
get a job, get an apartment, become an upstanding citizen!
>>686631320
Gay, totally.
>>686624905
>lose weight
>get a job
>shave that dirty neckbeard
You pretty much told yourself how to redeem yourself m8
>>686631836
Beta and gay. Probably a Bernie fan too...
>>686624905
>Try getting a job, and maybe doing some manly shit
>
>Learn a discipline
>
>Maybe choose not to put things in ur butt and be a loser?
>>686624905
>>686630867
On one side yeah it's a fake cock. On the other it's a cock you stick in your ass or something that simulates a dick fucking your asshole. Defending yourself only makes it worse.
>>686624905
So you want to come to the path of righteousness? Shave the beard get clean and apply for a job. Any job will probly do. And throw out the dildos unless you are gay and tell your family about it.
This happened to me a few years ago
>always use onahole in shower because less messy
>put it on shower rack after I'm done using it, will clean it when I'm done shampooing and shit
>finish showering
>forget about it
>leave bathroom
>sister immediately runs in and starts taking a shower
>suddenly remember onahole
>m-maybe she won't see it
>wait for her to finish
>she goes back into her bedroom without saying anything
>go into bathroom
>onahole is still on the shower rack
>m-maybe she didn't see it
>go to clean it so I can put it away
>it's already clean?
>there's no cum in it
>there should be lots of cum in it
>mfw
If your dad is like most inattentive dads out there he will be just as uncomfortable talking about it as you would be answering him. Either he'll make fun of you for it as a way to deflect or he won't say a word.
If it was your mom she would either act naive or nag you about it.
The only solution is death.
>just do it
>>686624905
>What do I do to redeem myself?
Shave
Get a job
Move out
Find a woman
>>686634166
Sounds like the cumslut slurped up all your semen
Start an art project.
Glue then to a big piece of wood and frame it. Call it "shock art" and use it as a form of expressing your disgust with the world at at times your self....
I'm sure he understands you anyway.. Because we all mastubate, anon.
>>686624905
Try suicide, maybe that'll work.
>>686624905
The pocket pussies I kinda get, but it is still really pathetic. But the dildos and the buttplugs?
Are you a faggot or something? I mean, you are OP so I guess you are, but don't be a faggot in your parents' house. That's not cool.
>>686626963
What kind of box is that and where can I get one?
>>686634711
>>686634711
There is a fine line between masturbating and using tools while masturbating.
>>686634982
Amazon, metal security box, 20-50 bucks
>>686635042
His father probably looks at it like this.
"He sticks dildos up his butt...oh my God, he might be a vape kid!"
>>686635042
What's the problem with using tools?
>>686635455
>>686634711
Mfw Dubs are wasted on dildos...
>>686634982
>>686635413
I wouldn't trust those with anything valuable... Super easy to break into, not to mention someone could pick it up and take it with them. Not bad for sex toys, though. It would be funny if someone stole it and only found 10 inch dildos inside.
>>686635460
>>686635460
If you have to ask, you are already too far gone.
>>686635805
Yeah pretty much thats the idea lol
>>686635816
>already too far gone
And loving it!
>>686635805
Oh man. Oh man oh man top kek
>>686631721
Its cringe worthy
Either of my parents would find this hilarious. Their version of a joke is to invite my wife and I to house-sit and then leave a bullet vibe and strawberry lube on the nightstand.
Dunno how your parents handle that sort of thing, but probably nothing will come of it. I mean, c'mon, are they goin to sit you down and force a discussion on masturbation techniques, props, and safety? Not bloody likely.
Also, ha ha, your dad knows that you stuff your butt.
