Stupidest things youve done while horny
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Stupidest things youve done while horny
>>686479809
Killed myself.
>>686479809
cheated
Did a Dutch oven on my girlfriend.
>>686480393
Kek
>>686479809
Ate child pizza
>>686480011
>>686480277
>>686480499
This is now a get thread.
Check em.
Fucked a watermelon
Bumparu
Broke into a girls apartment. Stole her purse and blew my load inside it. Then put it back.
>>686481149
Kek
Sharpie in the pooper
>>686480277
this tbh fam
>>686480277
Story?
>>686480277
Greentext plox
>>686480277
Tell us the story fag
>>686479809
I fingered my best fucking friend in public.
I'll greentext if you want.
>>686482272
Greentext please
>>686482272
Story
>>686479809
Dressed like a girl and got fucked in the ass.
>>686479809
Followed the links...
>>686482534
Greentext please
>>686479809
your mom
stole every pair of panties from my best friend of 10 years along with her vibrator
>be me
>live with my parents cause ima neet >be horny
>see bannana
>shove it in pooper
> feelsgoodman
> climax
>scream "fruity feels good in mah tooty"
> mfw mom opens my door after hearing my screams of ectasy
>>686483206
What the fuck
>>686482272
Put your dicks away, this ain't gonna be hot.
> Be me
> Highschool senior
> Spend every Thrusday with my best friend
> Let's call her Ramona
> Ramona and I go to this shitty fucking pizza place after school
> Normally we walk around, shoot the shit, have a good time.
> Ramona is fucking brilliant, honest to god, she's still the smartest person I've ever met
> Found out a few years ago her IQ was 140
> Back to story
> We're spending time together, and I'm a horny as fuck senior
> We normally cuddle behind this one building that no one ever goes into
> We both like cuddles, but she's uncomfortable with PDA
> Whatevs.jpg
> One day while we're cuddling, I decide to be a little shit and grab her tits
> She knows I'm a fucking asshole, she doesn't give a fuck
> ADHD as hell
> Start playing the tits like bongos
> She's laughing and shit
> I start moving one of my hands down
> I'm just on autopilot, man
Cont?
>>686483380
Moar
>>686483380
More
fingered animal pussy
>>686483796
What animal?
> it's 20 years ago
> I take my hot new blonde gf ( who has 38dd's with me to pick up a quarter pound of pot in this small town that has their own bs police department.
> we are in a vw van I had been restoring.
> I come back to the ban from picking up my stuff and she says she's horny.
> I pull into a random parking lot and take her in the back to fuck her.
> she's naked on the back seat and I'm banging her as hard as I can
> a flashlight shines in the van. Voice tells me to open up.
> I slide open the door and the cop shines his light inside at my gf. Tells me to move to the side.
> I'm shitting cause of all the weed.
> gf tells the cop she's always wanted to be fucked by a cop
> cop puts me in cuffs and in the back of his car
> disappears into my van for 20 min.
> comes back out. Let's me go. Tells me he never wants to see me again
> go back to the van. Gf is naked in the back. I drive off while she tells me about how he fucked her
>>686483380
> I move my hand down to her thigh
> Start moving up the inner part
> Her face starts contorting into this little "I'm trying not to show how horny I am" expression
> I think it's funny to watch
> Move hand all the way up
> Pussythroughleggings.png
> Start rubbing
> Holy fuck her face is hilarious
> I just keep on trucking man
> Move hand up, down past the leggins
> Handfulapanties.rar
> Call me morbidly obese, cause I'm lovin' it
> Push panties out of the way
> Christopher Columbusing that clit, man
> She gasps a little
> I don't know why this is still funny to me
> That black hole radiation is visible on its effects to my hand man
> Call me Steven Hawking with the Dewey Decimal system, cause I fucking index that hole
Cont?
>>686483975
dogs and horses
>>686484566
CONT
>>686483975
Pet Cockatiel
>>686484162
Cuck
>>686484566
Cont
>>686484566
Yo, I g2g, but if this thread is started at the same time tommorow I'll post the rest.
Peace out anons.
>>686484566
Moar
>>686484927
key you fingered your cockatiel?
>>686484576
But why?
>>686485368
cause I'm into that shit. dog pussy is hot
>>686485451
Whatevr
>>686485451
Any stories?
>>686485149
Also, for the record, if ya'll wanna beg for more dumb shit I did while horny, (protip, there's lots), call me Deweyanon or some shit. IDGAF reference the story.
>>686485628
i know its taboo. I've only done it when i was super horny or the opportunity presented itself.
>>686485785
no stories really. there have been times where i was hiking and some random dog would be way the fuck out in the woods randomly. and so i would finger it if it let me
>>686485798
This thread will be posted again around 2:30
>>686479809
Ur mum
Upskirted lots of girls in target and Walmart.
>>686486063
Okay
Prayed to shrek the ogrelord
>>686486736
thats hardcore
>>686486792
I know fam
>>686486736
Shrek is love
>>686487291
Shrek is life
I made a cum hamster but then my dad found it
>>686483206
Hahahahaha
A sandnigger might've stolen my tie but this made my commute home a lil better.
Thx /b/
>>686486160
That was called for. Well played.
Pour shampoo down my urethra.
>>686487952
But why
>>686487952
Wtf
>>686479809
blew a guy behind my apartment.
>>686488292
Story?
Told a girl how I felt about her, hoping it would bring me closer to sex.
>>686488495
Kek
>>686488120
>>686488187
I was 12.
>>686488399
surfing CL horny and drunk. Posted an add and got a bunch of responses. picked out this older super hung guy. picked him cause he was a lot older than me so I knew we wouldn't ever bump into each other in a social environment . sucked his big uncut cock. busted in my mouth. swallowed. felt shame and went to be.
>>686482803
Underrated Post
>>686488822
Fag
>>686489703
Meh, still get more pussy than you do, fag or not.
Shreked someone from behind
>>686489926
>get more pussy
> is a fag
Wut
>>686490094
that's my point virgin. see like this. My dick inside vagina.
>>686490338
How was the oldman cock
>>686490481
Huge and uncut. He was clean showered so it was actually nice tasting. Never saw him again. was a drunk horny impulse move.
>>686484162
cap'd and fap'd
>be me
>be 14 or 15
>be horny as almighty fuck
>home alone
>go in sister's room
>dress up in her clothes
>fap in front of mirror
>cum buckets
>>686491465
Kek
>be taking a shower
>wash ass with shower head
>little spray of hot water shoots up my hole
>feelsgoodman
>do it some more
>couple of wet farty bubbles squeak out
>get hard
>push shower head up my ass and spray boiling water on prostate
>balls starting to twitch
>suddenly I'm ejaculating semen and diarrhea
>boiling diarrhea shooting from my mouth and nose
>bathroom flooded with septic half-digested food and semen
>sister comes in, starts writhing on the floor massaging stinking semen mix into her vagina
>don't you ever knock?
>she starts giving birth to puppies
>every puppy has my face
>>686491445
Cuck
>>686491737
Kek
>>686485360
Yeah.If you stick your finger deep enough into a cockatiel's ass,it's like using a finger puppet.
>>686492021
kek
>>686485149
you fucking nigger
godspeed
>be 15 years old
>on school trip to a fucking zoo
>animals and so forth
>go in elephant house
>oh god it smells so fucking bad
>stench of elephant shit is burning the back of my throat
>feel something grab my waist
>elephant picks me up with its trunk
>srsly wtf
>forces me up another elephant's vagina
>for no good reason I get naked
>walking round inside elephant's womb
>holy shit my sister is in here too
>suddenly everything starts shaking
>look out of hole in cervix, see huge elephant penis thrusting in and out
>we both reach down elephant pee hole and massage it from inside
>feelsgoodman
>it's throbbing and pulsing
>hot steaming semen starts to erupt over our arms, flooding our womb prison
>I punch my sister in the tits for a laugh
>she is so turned on
>massaging elephant cum into each other while I punch her tits and kick her in the cunt
>we're still in there
>zookeepers push sandwiches up elephant's cunt for us
>we have wireless internet in here
>be 13
>Have huge crush on girl for a year
>Sit near her all the time
>When i make jokes, she always laughs
>One day I take her to this spot on campus at lunch
>Touch her boob
>She takes her shirt off
>I take my pants off
>she sucks my dick
>i start fucking her while she blows me
>I came in her pussy and her mouth at the same time man
>>686492805
Kek anon
> be 25
> summer
> family vacation
> got bored and curious
> opened a fake fb
> joined local gay hookup groups
> bi curious first time
> very manly physique
> holy shit it's raining messages
> pick one guy that's not a douche
> he's closeted gay and not a pretty one
> too late now
> tells me not to worry
> i pick him up with car
> we go to a remote place
> stopped the car lights off and i'm nerveous as a slaughterhouse chicken
> he rushes my lips
> oh god no that wasn't what I expected
> play along
> makes me suck his medium sized but good dick
> we frot and stuff
> i bend over
> no lube
> he slowly inserts it to my virgin ass
> IT FUCKING HURTS
> I literally scream
> tell him to stop
> he stops then starts grinding my butthole
> cums all over
> chat a little then he invites to his house for tomorrow
> no fucking way
> never contact again
>>686493495
Kek wat a fag
Check em
>Be 11
>It's night time
>I want to watch porn
>Of course, the PC is out of reach
>Come up with idea
>Wait until 2AM
>That's when they show "porn" on the TV
>I'm fucking tired
>Finally, 2AM
>Browse
>Find one
>MFW it's fucking softcore
>MFW all for that shit
>TFW I didn't fap
>>686494363
I know that feel anon
