People at work think I'm an ass hole. I don't hang
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
People at work think I'm an ass hole.
I don't hang out with anyone outside of work. I don't give out my phone number. I don't add anyone on social media. I don't really talk about my personal life.
It seems to blow everyones mind that I'm like that. I see these people 40-50 hours a week. That's more than I see anyone. Why do they want me to be in their lives even more.
Am I being a dick or are they?
>>685937685
You are an ass hole
Why cant you make friends like a normal person?
Faggot
>>685937876
What if I can make friends ? I just don't choose to be "friends" with the people I am only around because of a paycheck and would never talk to otherwise
>>685937685
Nah, I'm the same way. I get along with my coworkers and am nice to them, but I am with you on already seeing them enough. I have other closer friends I don't see every week, let alone every day. I have hobbies that I can't put 40-45 hour a week into unlike my job. I am glad I have my job and like my position, but when I leave work I leave it out of mind as well.
Just make sure you aren't rude to them when you turn things down, etc.
>>685938118
stop thinking of work as a paycheck thats your first problem
you need to think of work as helping your fellow man, the guys you work with are the people your working for, thats how the whole world is, working for eachother
your mindset is all wrong, you'll never make friends at work that way
>>685937685
>doesn't make the slightest effort to be sociable
>wonders why people are off put by this
????
>>685938306
I help my fellow employees. I work hard. That doesn't mean I need to like all their Facebook pics of their kids or go to a bar and listen to them talk about work.
I'm with you, if there are things in common then maybe I'll shoot the shit about off time. But it is not an open book. If I'm working let's talk about work related things and if I choose not to open up take that as a hint that it's none of your damn business. Small talk in my eyes is insulting and just a way to show your lack of depth.
Dude. Fuck your colleagues. I'm with you 1000%. It's IS a pay check. They are faggot assholes for expecting companionship and then being butthurt when you don't give it.
>>685937685
I’m afraid you are not “fuckable” (forgive me the expression) for them. You cannot be used nor get “befriended” so you are considered anti-social which is a huge bad label (comparable with infamous ‘kick me!’ label) in society.
>asking a bunch of friendless virgins opinions on social issues
>>685937685
back in my fucking day nobody hung out with anyone else from work unless it was the company Xmas party of the company picnic. twice a year is more than enough.
Why wouldn't you want some who can ruin your life to be your bestie? :^)
>>685938500
True. I guess you're not really an asshole, but you should be able to understand why they think that.
If it weren't for work I would have zero friends if I don't count my wife's or brother's friends that aren't really "MY" friends.
>>685937685
Work / Life balance means leave work shit at work. That includes your coworkers.
Unless you're trying to get laid or promoted, there is zero reason to hang out, outside of work.
You shold probably keep them as far as possible OP,they sound like the kind of people that want to add you to facebook just so they can forget about you minutes later or tag you on minion memes photos.
>>685938994
This. Alot of people do want to know more about you so they can use it against you. When they have nothing on you they feel threatened because you are "better" than them in their minds. People are weird. I don't befriend women at work anymore.
>>685937685
>>685938118
>>685938500
Sounds like work is super fun for you.... must enjoy being around people you don't like all day eh?
Seriously you're only making yourself worse. You do come off as an asshole the way you speak about your workmates, you don;t have to best buds but you could at least talk with them
>>685938306
>you'll never make friends at work that way
Not wanting to make friends at work was a major point of his post. You're supposed to be convincing him he should want it not explaining how to do it.
>>685939439
Unlesss you know, they are actually a decent person and fun?
Like do all you faggots work with retards or what?
>>685937685
No worries. Be a humble man towards your co-workers during work. If some person attracts your attention than you can befriend them.
>>685938306
This faggot thinks his job is something other than a paycheck. Your job doesn't give a shit about you. You are only there to do what they want in exchange for money. In America, we call that a paycheck. Those people aren't your friends, they aren't your family. When you leave the company they usually stop talking to you, so that's not friendship. They are merely acquaintances. Good for OP for drawing a line between work and personal life.
>>685939598
I do enjoy being around some of them to an extent. That extent is 40 hours.
Why is it so hard to believe that I dont want spend my entire life with my co workers.
>hey man I know i just spent every day of the work week together, how about we spend the weekend together too. What are we going to do? Oh talk about work. Then go back to work and talk about how we talked about work in a different place
That's weird to me.
>>685937685
Im the same way. They all gossip about each other and their personal lives. Fuck that shit.
>2016
>wanting friends
don't let your work become your lifestyle nigga
You're autistic but so am I and I totally get it.
>>685937685
darren you're a fucking idiot sometimes
>>685940302
Something to be understood is that for a great many people, being sociable isn't one of the consequences of a job, but one of the perks. Socializing and such is one of the great strengths of our species.
>>685937685
Mistress Stormy
>>685940877
>being sociable isn't one of the consequences of a job, but one of the perks.
And I do social with them. 40 hours a week. That's the point. That's enough.
There are 168 hours in a week.
I work 50 hours a week. I sleep 50 hours a week. Just those two things alone only leaves me with 68 hours a week.
Why would I want to use that small amount of time with the same people that already take up such a large part of life?
>>685940302
You have this expectation already that it will be shitty like that. Don't. I agree I wouldn't want to talk about work either. Who says they will tho?
I know you came here for people to tell you you are not a dick. It's all them being normie fucks.
But no. They way you've explained it makes me think, I'd probably think your a dick at work too.
A found out a guy 10 years older then me at work, loves games like AoE and loves hunting aswell. We have gone out shooting twice now, played games only once, talk about these things (our hobbies) and also i didn't go to his or his brothers bucks party. You are obligated to see them you know... You don't have to fucking kiss them man, or hang out everyweekd.
But it can be nice to have work 'friends'
>>685941175
>because they're probably not that bad if you gave it a shot
If you have. Fine man. You work with shit people, who you couldn't see being friends with. your choice, don't expect support for it.
Also that guy was trying to say, some people have no friends and work can help them. Consider yourself lucky you don;t have that problem
>>685937685
Introvert here. Just be cordial and buttery with people when you do talk, but if it's during work time, focus primarily on work... Keep smiling at them, let them k ow you enjoy being friendly with them, but you'd lkke to focus on work. They'll start leaving you alone, and everyone will loke you well enough. In social situations the less invested you are in a person (especially at work) the less lokely you are yo get dragged into their bullshit drama. That's just extra stress you don't need. You do neex your co-workers to think positively about you, though, so just be nice to everybody and let them know you want to keep work and life seperate so that you can focus on your job. "I think you're a great person, and if I ever get out of this place we should go for drinks, but I have a tendency to get distracted easily... Sorry I'm kinda lame." then you laugh at yourself, and the ball is in their court.
You're fine, OP. People that get emotionally invested with their co-workers end up regretting it. Just keep your focus, and be buttery with everyone. You'll be fine.
It all depends on the people you work with. Only ever got along outside of work with 1 person. No mutual interests with the rest and their usual topics of conversation are just fucking dull.
If you have no interest in hanging out with them. Don't. Fuck them :)
Yeah
>>685937685
Youre not being an asshole, but you aren't managing your social (work) environment as effectively as you could. create a fake FB profile, add your co-workers, get on once in a while, and like their stupid shit. problem solved.
>>685937685
>>685938282
same here, fuck people.
>>685942686
That's some weird shit. You obviously have no friends.
>>685939785
>not considering 95% of people retarded.
This just means you are retarded.
>>685940823
Where do you think you are, newfriend?
>>685939785
No, I jut don't work as a chef at Wendy's making 8.25 an hour.
>>685943813
>chef
>>685937685
How do you know they think you're an asshole, though?
Oldfag here, 30, work in a higher educational institution in Australia. I can fully relate to you.
I don't talk to anyone outside of work. And you know what? Most of my co-workers don't talk with each other outside of work either. We get on great, we talk about our personal lives, we help each other out. But we all understand that the main reason we converse is not because of some magical cosmic attraction but because we are paid to be in the same space for 40 hours per week by our employer.
I have a family, a mortgage, hobbies and responsibilities. I have a handful of evenings and two days off per week to spend with the people I love and do the things I'm passionate about. For example, I've just rescued a sick cat. I would rather spend my evenings making the rest of its life comfortable than fucking about with a mild acquaintance in order to play political games at work.
The clock is ticking as far as I'm concerned and I will spend every single spare second I have on my family, friends and passions.
If you can't find a little bit of time at work to get all the socialising and chatting out of the way then you're working way too hard.
>>685944203
>talking about Facebook in break room
>oh but anon is too good to add anyone on there
Or when they say things like
>anon is a dick, but he works hard
Or
>anon, you're an anti-social asshole
I can read between the lines
>>685938306
What a fucking load of bullshit.
I don't care who your employer is - you are in a transaction with them; You are selling your labor for their money. It can be highly-priced labor or poorly-priced labor, but you're selling it all the same.
For all your stupid talk about helping people out and working for each other, let's see how your organisation feels about loyalty when they lose that big contract, or get told to reduce expenditure, or are threatened with bankruptcy unless big changes are made.
I bet they will keep you on the books just for old times' sake, huh?
>>685938605
Facts
>>685944505
Well, if they talk about you like that then why the fuck would you want to be friends with them in the first place?
You want to know why most people are desperate to make friends at work and hangout with their co-workers after hours? Two reasons:
1. They want to play politics. They will butter you up to get something, whether that's an ally, some gossip or some dirt
2. They are lonely. Most people stop making friends the older they get. It's just the way adults operate. As you get older you get more responsibilities, less time and are obliged to sacrifice personal relationships for mundane necessities. Do you really like a 30 year old co-worker who wants to hang out with you every weekend has a life?
Recent college graduate anon here. Last year had a couple random restaurant jobs because fear of commitment. during 2 weeks notice had one person say 'oh, so you don't want to be with us?' Wtf am I supposed to say to that? 'No I need to get the fuck outta here and make better money.....did you think this is a commune?' How about 'oh I heard someone say that you are leaving because you hate us' when they knew I was moving out of state......like yo are you that fucking insecure???? Checking my mental sanity privelege rn anons.....
>>685937685
I had the exact same experience when I worked at a warehouse. They couldn't understand why I didn't attend the work xmas party.
It's bullshit. I spend like 300 days a year with you unsufferable cunts, spending the xmas period seeing you is too much.
>>685939100
jobless aswell??
>>685946685
Yeah
>>685937685
I hear you OP. Back before I moved to Vancouver I'd never add people from work to social media unless they happened to be REALLY awesome. Even then I generally wouldn't bother.
I only do now because it's so fucking difficult to make friends here without some sort of common activity.
I used to have this problem, I'd be friendly and get along with everyone at work, but afterwards I had my own shit to do or just wanted to relax so I turned down all the invitations to do shit outside of work. Eventually they get over it and stop talking to you or asking. Social people will never understand our outlook on this, they think hanging out drinking beers together is what life is all about
I don't think so.
You're no obligated to be friends just because you work together.
Friendly and friends are two different things.
I worked at a job for 6 years and I only become "sort of friends" with one person. They rest I didn't even really speak to. I worked as a maintenance man at a motel and spent the days alone outside, cleaning the pool, and checking up around rooms and shit. I just did my shit and went home. Never said much more than good morning and made small talk.
Why are you complaining if you won't be friendly with those guys ?
>>685937685
OP you kind a sound like me. One of my mottos is never be around people for more than 5 minutes because they might ask you a personal question.
Want to know what is the hardest part for me. I am a handsome guy. I've had a few ladies try and have small talk with me at work already. One of them I actually kind a blew off, and she gives me dirty looks. It isn't that at all. There is a girl at my job I really like, but I left it open for her to still make a move. Which she kind a has a few times. I get dirty looks from a gay guy, because I didn't ask at least 4 girls out at work.
Depends on your work colleagues.
Decide which kind of people they are.
non threatening, possible friends, alpha assholes.
My office is full of the latter.
>>685937876
You must be new
>>685950140
Just how delusional asswipe are you?
>>685937685
Fuck those people OP. Nobody needs work friends unless they're an insecure normie.
>>685951542
Delusional? I asked the gay guy at work. Why do I seem to get a dirty look from everybody. I didn't so anything. He goes, that is the problem. Two girls asked me one time. Aren't you going to ask me anything after we had are moments.
>>685937685
Hear you OP.
Kinda like the assholes that hold the door open for you, you then say 'thank you'
But they ignore you when you hold the door open for them.
You are. You're a dumbass and a liar.
If you really didn't care about their opinions, you wouldn't give a fuck that they think worse of you for not engaging with them. Why are you trying to convince yourself that you're not, from their perspective, a dick?
YOU WANT THEM TO THINK YOU'RE ANTISOCIAL DUMBASS. IT'S KIND OF THE POINT. You literally said you would never talk to them otherwise and you don't want to be friends with them.
What do you care if people you don't want to be friends with don't like you? Why are you such a sensitive dick?
You're just socially maladjusted, you're not actually a loner. And you justify it by being a cunt.
>>685938306
>Michael scott detected
>>685951878
And, yes. Not gay. Women think a guy has a general attraction to them just because they are women at any age shape or ethnicity.
>>685937685
It's called respect.
When people don't wanna talk or interact with me, I respect their decision.
They can't see this because of their selfishness.
>>685937685
>be your own boss
>stop slaying for the jew
>cant stand sheeple
This is me now, this is my life. Cant even it anymore. You sound like me, idgaf bout these people, especially when Im above them
>>685937876
2edgy4me
I agree with you OP. I work at a restaurant and all these motherfuckers do is go get drunk at other restaurants when they hang out. They are some of the smallest minds ive ever encountered. Trapped inside their addictions and really odd and unwarranted insecurities. I suppose that's why they've developed personalities and I haven't. Anyway, I fucked up and accepted some of them on social media which makes it all the more awkward for the ones I haven't accepted. I wish I could go there and not have the burden of socializing with them because they predictably melt down at least 3 times per year and I don't need that shit from someone who essentially is a random brought into my life by wage slavery.
>>685938306
nigger, he didnt even say he wants to be friends with them.
>>685941175
yeah idk you just sound like an elitist douche to me, if we worked together and I tried to hangout with you I feel like it'd be instant turn off. Awkward, forced conversation would ensue on Monday
>>685952031
Anti-social? Shit, I chat it up more than a gay person sometimes. The problem is timing, and how coy somebody wants to be with me. I am a guy who acts like an asshole in public, but is a nice guy one on one. I don't have an issue with talking to pretty girls or females at all one on one, but that if there are other people around, and the girl acts like she saw a movie star. I sometimes have to defuse the situation.
>>685937685
I'm sure most people will think you're a dick. Personally I think they can go fuck themselves. Never be friends with people from work. They can and will use anything you do outside of work to fuck you over as soon as any little thing goes wrong between you.
I'm with you OP, I like my job but my coworkers can go fuck themselves. I don't want know about their shitty little families and I don't what them to know about my shitty family. I don't want to waste my time hanging out with people who I consider idiots, without they pay. Fuck coworkers
>>685937685
It must be the way you say it.
I don't give out any of that shit either. There's maybe two people in my entire workplace who I'll hang out with after work.
Generally they're a bit "what?" When I first say it, but I'm not autistic enough to explain it away (despite being autistic enough to not want to divulge details).
TL;DR - you probably are being an arsehole when you tell them
>>685952842
Sometimes, when I am up at night with the stars and moon in the sky. I sometimes think about one single mother who started to tear up in front me at my job. I felt redfaced she likes me, but wasn't attracted to her. My story is more complicated than that though.
The thing is when coworkers start pressuring or acting weird towards 'anon' as a result of his desire for boundaries. that's undermining the professional environment as well as what should be honest personal relationships. In before sperg shaming
>>685937685
Are you me anon?
In all honesty, thats the best way to do it in a work setting. You are supervisor material
>>685953342
Please share
>>685953522
No it isn't. We are all human and human beings have a natural curiosity to know the unknown. If you are a nice person and even handsome or pretty. People will want to know more about you. Please, ever job has a "table or life", and you know what I mean. The table where people are all attractive in race order, and don't talk about it.
You're just fine, OP. I worked a shitty inside sales job for 5 years. I left that job to start up my own business working for myself three years ago. Of all of the people I worked with 40+ hours a week, I still talk to just one of them regularly. We get along because we had a lot more in common than working at that shitty company.
I'd go out with work people every few weeks for drinks or whatever, but most of them just wanted to talk about work shit. Like, I just left that hellhole, the last thing I want to do is keep talking about that bullshit.
Keep work shit at work, keep your friends away from that. You wouldn't take up work time with your hobbies, right? (unless you want to get fired) Why take up your free time with work?
>>685937685
Just keep doing what u are doing, I am the same way.
I've never socialized with co workers outside of work despite them asking and I don't add them on social media.
I don't want my co workers to see the real me and know my political and religious believes because it oils possibly cause issues at work.
I have worked for the same company for almost 10 years as worked my way from the bottom all the way to the top.
My old manager is now one of my techs and I think a lot of my success has to do with the fact that I'm always professional and don't gossip and hang out with my co workers
>>685953842
Still depresses me. My thing is, if a woman is a single mother make it clearly know upfront. So a guy can treat you with respect. If a guy thinks you were married before he met you. Which I suspected. That means the woman might be scheming to date you.
I play like I don't know shit. But the gay guy sees right through it.
>>685937685
I'm the same usually. We get along fine, I'm always friendly and stuff and ask them polite questions etc, but I don't talk about myself and stuff.
you're not being a dick. if you don't wanna hang with anyone from work you don't have to.
Now it might just be because I'm an anti-social, but in these modern times I don't see the point in making human connections. Don't see the point in creating relationships or partners. We are all alone. We sustain ourselves. Other people will ruin our peace of mind, our doors to happiness. And they might open new ones, but there's a higher chance of them fucking it all up.
>>685937685
OP you sound like a cool guy and might be a /robot/ imo.
Fuck the haters basically and just keep doing you.
I like how people call you delustional.
About three weeks ago. I was standing outside at the bus stop. And this older lady pulls up to the bar and grill next to the bus stop and asks me is the bar and grill open? I said I don't know. She asked. Is the food good? I said I don't know, I haven't eaten there. Then she asked me why I am standing outside next to the bus stop. LOL. A guy next to me said. It sounds like she wanted to buy you lunch. I told him. She was kind a old. He laughed. I go, all in a day. He said, I hear that.
>>685937685
Nothing wrong with you, they are just annoying assholes.
I do the same thing, except I have a handful of friends that I hang out with occasionally.
Part of growing up is learning that life isn't about chilling with friends all the time.
>>685937685
thats nothing, OP, I always insult and bully my coworkers, steal their food, rob them, one time I even set one of the HR ladies on fire. I'm a real dick to my coworkers, you're just a weirdo.
>>685952842
What the fucking shit haha? Did you even think that through?
You have two options:
You give a fuck what they think. In which case, you should try to please them and be friendly with them.
You don't give a fuck what they think. In which case, do whatever you want, who cares if they think you're an asshole.
You instead, bitch that you are, ask "Am I the dick or they?". Which is the wrong question. You're looking for validation and justification. You're looking to do the second, while using the logic of the first.
What the fuck is this shit even about defusing some sort of situation? This isn't a problem with other people, this is a problem with you.
Your position is internally inconsistent, hence you feel conflicted, hence you ask us for help. You're conflicted because you say you don't care, but you obviously do care about how you're percieved. Either bite the bullet and play nice, or deal with the fact that not everyone will like you, like a man with functioning testicles.
>>685937685
Nah Op, I think thats normal. But i also dont understand how people can handle being around others 24/7
>>685953842
>>685954551
I've actually cried a few times over some the interactions with woman I have had. The ones that go from being smitten to falling in love with you like a teddy bear without dating them reak me out, scare me, and depressed me. I know we all want to fall in love forever. Don't kid yourself people get married on the job all the time. Millions of people do every year, and have no problem with it.
>>685955452
I'll tell you what. There is a girl I like who actually gotten jealous I even smiled at another girl at work. There is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with the girl. It is called trying to look open for one person. And yes. I know it works. The girl approached me at work, but I was working.
>>685939581
this a lot.
I don't fuck with anyone at work, least of all the women.
I used to not care and brag about drinking and smoking and shit, typical white trash stuff but I have self respect now and an embarssing past and all that so I tell these people little to nothing about myself,
MY PERSONAL LIFE IS ON A NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS AND THEY DON'T NEED TO FUCKING KNOW.wew
so good to see a robot thread on a non-robot board
>>685942686
Only upside or reason I could see to do this is to keep people around to use as references, that's it.
>>685937685
Stay that way op
I'm the same way
Everyone else are just a bunch of faggots
>>685956622
Well, then the girl you like is being irrational. Sorry, that is something wrong. Tell her she's got nothing to worry about.
And the other bit, is in direct reference to the OP and the second response.
You're getting more and more off track and nonsensical, so I'ma leave it here.
We've all had dick coworkers, annoying coworkers, people who want to get more social. Be glad they're trying to do it outside the workplace, the kids I used to work with destroyed the store by doing it AT work. Just limit your involvment. I'd accept the friend requests from people, and then go, there's only so many photos of white kids doing gang signs in Australia I can stand, so I went fuck off, grow the hell up. Because I really do not give a fuck about what they think of me. I did the job for the money, and I was sociable at work because it made the time pass quicker, and I've only involved myself with people from there outside of work when I genuinely enjoy their company.
Make your decision, choose how you behave, and fucking stand by it. You care or you don't. Because convincing yourself that it's everyone else's problem is dumb as hell, because it won't change their mind. They will think of you what they will. Your coworkers will think you're a dick. You don't like them, it doesn't matter. Your crush thinks you're flirting with another girl? You can either try to talk to her, or remember that you said you don't give a fuck about your coworkers and stop smiling at them.
You socially retarded fucks don't get it. You can't control people's thoughts, you can only control your own actions, and you have to take responsibility for them.
I don't see my coworkers outside of work. They arnt my friends, they're my coworkers. We all get along and have a good time while workin... But at the end of the day, I go home to my family and my own personal life. That's how most adults are.
>>685937685
People always seem to mistake me being civil towards them with me trying to befriend them. Apparently a work only relationship is a thing of the past.
Beta uprising when?
>>685938605
It's because people over invest in their work. Like be proud of what you do and enjoy it but don't make it your entire life.
>>685959008
This.
It's like those faggots have no lives outside of work.
And the hyper-social ones just have the mentality of fucking teenagers and should be burned the fuck alive /rant
