Roast my stepdad. I'm gonna send him this thread & he can't handle the bantz.
not your personal army, go fuck yourself douchebag
>>685413593
fuck off newfag
>>685413250
Looks like a pretty cool dude
OP mad cuz this cool ass dude is railing his mom's fat pussy every night
>>685413250
But why?
Looks like a steak eating man. I myself am a steak eating man.
>>685413250
I like his beard, wish I could grow one
Fuck man if my stepdad was stone cold steve austin i wouldn't be roasting his ass...
>>685414168
Because he's an asshole who threatened me.
You stink OP.
>>685413250
His decorating taste is terrible, that lamp is very tacky.
>>685414266
threatened to do what? sit on you lmao
His stepson's a miserable faggot
>>685413250
Hes probably a nice guy, you just hate him cause hea railing your mom. Fuck you OP NYPA.
try harder new friend. lol
>>685414266
you could win a fight with that fatass by moving his plate away 3 feet, fuck. what the hell could he threaten you with
>>685414338
Probably OPs moms shitty lamp is bet he'd buy a nice lamp
he drinks mountain dew just like me. I guess hes a pretty cool guy just like me.
>>685414611
Ah right, damn women always making life miserable for men. he probably hates that lamp.
>>685414246
kek
What is this antiques fucking roadshow?
Stepdad punished my Xbox, I'll get him roasted in 4chan so he learns.
Man I really feel sorry for you but you need to grow some balls
>>685415012
No because that is a terrible lamp. Antique roadshow wouldn't show that crap, they would have way better lamps.
Stepdad 3:16 says I just fucked your mom!
>>685413250
He has eaten enough roasts, let him be.
>>685413793
>newfag
>knows rules better than you
wat?
Buddy unless your stepdad's that lamp there's nothing to roast.
>>685415136
So how often do you watch that shit you sound like a bit of an expert
>>685413250
seems like an awesome dude that loves your mom and stepped up to the job of raising the waste with no father that is you
>>685415418
I'm not the guy you're asking but if you don't watch Antiques Roadshow at least an hour a day you don't belong on this website.
>Lamp confirmed as shit
>Step-dad confirmed as a cool guy
>OP confirmed as beta coward faggot
>>685415521
That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard on here
>>685414266
jesus christ you sound like a biiiitch
>>685415521
this
>>685415683
confirmed for summerfag
>>685415683
ok here's something OP's stepdad is probably interested in, very modern and doesn't stand out like that flower pattern piece of shit
>>685413250
...if you are fat, no matter what you wear, nothing is going to make you sexier.
-Stone Cold Steve Austin
>>685416091
That's a pretty nice lamp.
fuck off faggots, this fuckin idiot has threatened me for driving his fuckin motorcycle...hey, a fuckin motorcycle, my mom thinks im lying and you're giving me hard time too fuck off
>>685414266
>who threatened me
Look, we all know how important your baddragon collection is to you, but throwing them out is actually good for your health, mental and physical.
>>685416532
I really hope this isn't b8
>>685416400
Right it's time we just auction that fucking lamp off to the highest bidder
>>685416849
I would be willing to pay 80$ for that lamp
>>685416532
I'm not sure what's funnier, that you nabbed this guy's motorcycle and didn't just leave, or that you thought you'd get sympathy from /b/ of all places.
>>685416532
so don't use his property without his permission, the look on his face screams that he is tired of your shit, and he doesn't deserve that.
>>685416945
Going once
>>685416532
Faggot you better never touch that cool ass dudes motorcycle ever again.
My bad, I forgot where I am....
>>685416945
Twice
>>685417462
I bid $85
>>685417425
That's right, you're in the Antique Roadshow headquarters forum. All lamps, all the time.
OP youre a spoiled cunt and I hope you grow a fucking sack
Dont touch his bike ever again... If I see a fat stone cold austin on the news for stabbing his stepson ... I swear Ill personally do the time served FOR him.. If youre alive after the stabbing Im going to sneak into your room wherever you live for the rest of your life and rub salt in your wounds as you sleep until youre driven mad
Cunt
If I had a faggot stepson that took my motorcycle I would beat the shit out of them, not just threaten them
>>685417589
Going once
>>685413250
you should have aborted
>>685417589
Going twice
>>685417589
Fuck you, $90
>>685418254
Hot daMN that's some LIVE ACTION
>>685418254
Fuck you too, $95
>>685418254
$90.01 asshole
>>685418254
Reminder to all we will be selling this shitty lamp TODAY
>>685418332
it is one tasty lamp, I wish I could afford a higher bid, but i'm out
Seems like a cool guy.
>>685418364
I'll bid ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for that lamp
>>685418561
I'm tired of these games.
$150
>>685418774
$200
Obviously this is now a lamp thread
>>685418857
um, obviously
>>685418774
I will crush your bid like I crushed your sister. $250
>>685418845
I'm willing to pay $205!!
>>685418845
>>685418987
>>685419028
>mountain pic response
I need that one bitch screaming in horror now.
Anyways, this is clearly going nowhere. Time to step it up.
ONE MILLION DOLLARS FOR THE LAMP
>>685418987
Please keep the bids coming and this faggot can afford his motorcycle so he can kill himself on a tree
>>685416532
Yeah, dude, fuck you you self entitled fuck. He's probably not even so much pissed about the bike(though that's a part) but the blatant disrespect you display. Even your own mom isn't siding with you because you're such a shit.
Besides, he's the one railing the pussy you came from, so fuck right off.
This lamp is rad but it doesn't match my decor at all
>>685413250
How much for that multicolored box sitting beside the lamp?
>>685419148
Did someone say one million dollars?
Bid it, bitch.
>>685419148
Only realistic bids will be considered were at 250
>>685413250
Lol why can't you do it yourself?
Did he rape you or something? Because if he did, you deserved it.
>>685419399
Fine. $350, but I'm reaching the end of my credit line as it is.
What is his luchador name?
>>685419518
You can't kill my bid, I'll just keep coming back.
$400
>>685419287
Unless you have a lot of live edge natural wood with a fairly modern motif.
>>685419518
Drugs and alcohol will be considered as currency
he looks like an angry, fat, lazy, sweaty, stinky good for nothing ginger prick with a small dick
>>685419716
It's not THAT bad of a lamp, man.
>>685419716
>OP
>Samefag
both
>>685414266
Op are you jealous he's fucking your mom?
$350
$500
>>685420046
We're at 400 cunt
>>685419619
I think we need to call it quits, the thing's a fuckin shit lamp.
$500 though, it might be an antique.
>>685420107
>>685420138
Ah shit. $505
>>685420129
In my country we bid backwards. Cunt.
>>685420138
I am relentless, and I shall crush your bid as well.
$575
>>685420187
$505.50
>>685419716
Oh look it's OP still being a faggot
>>685420230
That's why your country will never be a superpower dickhead
>>685420282
$600 all in
>>685420230
Found the Russian
bro are you saying stone cold steve austin banged your mummy
>>685420349
All glory to Angola!
>>685419716
post mommies pic
This is fuck awsome. This thread just made you look like a dumbass. I hope you show this to him so he can laugh at how much everyone hates you OP.
>thread backfired
>>685420415
Kek
>>685420308
600 old man, I am getting that lamp and crucifix even if I have to kill you.
>>685420282
Is that to the beat of "What Is Love"?
>>685420379
$600.01
get fucked
>>685420540
We've had 600 please bid again
>>685420633
Going once
>>685420633
I... am... unstoppable... this... poison... no, this... cancer that... that is /b/... one, just one last...
$650
>>685413250
He seems like a cool guys and layer back guy. Prob really funny at parties and I like his tshirt. Your step-dad seems pretty cool. His only problem is his shitty stepson he has to put up with.
>>685420662
Who is even curating this?
Anyways, $650.01
OP, here's an economy pro tip. Well the shitty lamp on PBS' Antiques Roadshow and use the money to buy your own fucking motorcycle so you don't have to steal from others, you gross parasite. And get a job too, hippy.
>>685413250
he looks like a chill guy. fuck you op, and don't touch his motorcycle ever again you little faggot.
>>685420860
Going once
>>685420888
Hey were over 650 for that shitty lamp that's a second hand 250cc in anyone's language
>>685420860
650.02 here
>>685420860
$650.02
>>685421069
>>685421109
You guys must love old lamps.
I just need something to hold a paper target, and my stepbrother is still in the hospital from last time.
Also, $651.01
We are a terrible Sothebys of London
>>685416532
Don't EVER take a mans bike. Lucky he didnt stomp your ass.
Also, GTFO of /b/ you underage faggot. Shit got flipped on you.
>>685413250
This guy's looks like he has the patience of a saint. The look on his face says it all. That's the look of a step-dad who just doesn't know what the fuck to do with his stepson from hell. He's prob wondering if fucking your mom is even worth it at this point. I hope he smashed your Xbox and gave your mom anal later that night.
>>685419290
thats a box of tissues bro.
>>685421278
$651.03
Kys OP
Theres a trashcan right fucking there. Throw away those mountain dews you are slaughtering you slothful fuck
>>685421278
>>685421069
>>685421109
You know what?
I just got a small loan of 1,000,000.
I bid 1,000,000
>>685421335
How about this: you can have the lamp, but you hold the target for me.
It'll take 30 seconds tops, I promise. I still have EMS on speed dial, too.
$651.05
>>685421335
Any advance? Going once
>>685413250
Fat fuck looks like Louis CK and Carl from ATHF had a baby.
>>685421538
>>685421496
Bid 1M
I think it would be fun to make bidding threads for misc items kind of like on this one but the kicker is you can only bid as much money as you actually have irl.
>>685421505
$651.06 dick
>>685421496
Shit, blew it all on hookers and coke already.
fuck it, $652.99
>>685421568
What happened to "only reasonable bids", you fuck?
>>685421568
>>685421496
Realistic bids only nigger.
>>685421677
I blew it on sex and drugs already.
>>685421676
Highest bidder
>>685421676
>>685421735
Ah.
$653
>>685421676
$653.09
>>685421676
Erm.
This is getting steep now..
>looks in couch
>finds .10
>bids $651.16
My step dad is cooler than yours OP
>>685413250
It's difficult to pull off a bald head but he does it really well. I'm impressed.
>>685421862
Can you math, fucktard?
>>685413250
looks like Stone Cold Steak Austin
I won 10$ on a scrach off.
$663.09
>>me being OP faggit
>>upset for shit reason at stepdad (i.e. didn't by my new doom)
>>stepdad makes mom happy, puts roof over my head, and food in my piehole
>>now butt hurt
>>goes on /b to ask /b to roast him
>>/b tells me to go fuck off; not personnal army
>>even more butthurt and goes to cry in safe space
>>feelsbadman.jpg
>>still faggit
>>685413250
>stepdad
>can't handle the bantz
But he can handle dicking down your mom like a gutter slut though.
>>685421819
This is going to have to stop dubs pays $700
>>685421971
$675 here
>>685421971
Try again later, just got me a $25 lucky pick
$678
Look who came through in my honor
$690
You know im gonna take a chance here, it very well could be a vintage item.
$700.08
Lol, im loving this thread now
Are we including tax?
>>685422106
$750 here
ITT: Faggot tries to get payback for his step father threating him because he stole his bike.
No one cared.
Lamp was of intrest.
Bidding war.
>>685422164
Noooooo shhhhhh
>>685422164
Who includes tax at an auction? Private transactions never include tax, unless the seller's a douche.
$760
I'm bidding $850
>>685413250
Hey new friend
>>685422296
$850.01 here
>>685422296
nah, fuck off.
bid not accepted.
>>685420116
>Drop the acid while sitting at my computer in the back room around 9-9:30
>tired as fuck
>Smoking this big ass joint of purple buds
>throw on some YouTube
>watch some mma fights and shit, when I'm high as fuck
>find myself drifting off and not really paying attention to the fight, got pretty bord of it
>smoke another bowl and go on a walk around 10:30
>figured I'd make the acid kick in faster if I got my blood moving.
>It's already like an hour and a half after dropping
>Alittle bit into my walk I find myself starting to get very focused on walking, fixated on doing it
>I start to attach my ego to walking, thinking about how practicing the way I walk will help me seem more comfortable around people. It's not like I have trouble walking or anything, but that's acid.
>think about weird Egyptian gods and hieroglyphics I saw at the museum when I was younger and how crazy that shit was.
>I felt like I had Egyptian swag.
>na nana na nananana na (you know that Egyptian song?)
>Listening to music on my headphones to
>really liquidy dubstep comes on
>start to imagine a xenomorph from aliens is running next to me on the rooftops of houses
>I couldn't see it, I felt its presence
>suprisingly good body high at this point, felt like I was drunk on Molly
>waves of euphoria and dizziness going through my body
>felt like my whole body was the center of gravity
>decided to run with the xenomorph
>Close my eyes and think of this really bad ass animated scene of me and the alien running together on the street to chase something down.
>stealthy af, so agile much acid at this point
>got into the rhythm of running, ran a mile in like 9 minutes lol
>suddenly crash once I decide to walk up a hill
>bad crash
>I sit on the stoop
>head pounding
>At this point it was 11:30, I'd been out for an hour
>I was kinda far from my house to.. Fuck.
>get really really homesick feeling
>Sat on curb
>micro sleeps caused my eyes to roll into the back of my head randomly
Hold on.
I'll show my pussy with timestamp if everyone stops with the imaginary bidding.
>>685422355
Need I remind you of the last family that tried to upstage us financially?
>>685422379
what? is that too much?
>>685415213
Kek
>>685422296
Well well well, look at the deep pockets on the new guy.
>>685422379
Who're you to decide?
Also, $855
$999.99 here
>>685422416
Fuck off.
Bitches ruin everything.
LEAVE THIS IS MENS TIME BITCH.
>>685422416
Done
>>685422484
$1001.01 here
>>685422416
I'm down. Sharpie in the pooper for bonus?
>>685422489
She's a woman let her show it we don't have to listen to her
>>685422474
>>685422484
>>685422549
Apparently we weren't being clear.
$1500 for a lamp worth $5
I bid 1 Diamond studded dildo (15 in.)
>>685422489
That's the first time I have ever heard that on /b/. Nobody in real life has ever denied that either. This must be pretty serious
Never touch another mans bike...fuck wrong witchu???
>>685422622
>>685422622
>>685422622
THE AUCTION CONTINUES.
>>685415194
underrated post
>>685422661
$1504 you kike
>>685422661
>>685422609
Just pussy shot but the bids have to stop. This thread was hilarious before the bidding
>>685416581
ooooo son id be mad as hell them shits cost way too much
>>685422797
What a time to use that image.
>>685422798
Ok new bid for pussy shot I'm at $1.00
>>685415194
beat me too it thats the first thing i thought when i saw the goatee
>>685422416
ill bid $1599 on that.
>>685414266
Threaten him back you fucking pussy
>>685413250
Looks like a pretty generous guy, who works hard to keep the family together and stable. Why would you want this OP? Fuck yourself.
>>685422920
If you don't want the pic and timestamp that's up to you. I was just ry enjoying the thread until the bids happened.
>>685422967
£1777.77
>>685422622
The auction has moved here, gents.
>>685423135
>>685422967
>>685422920
Congrats /b/, you just denied a pic of my vagina with timestamp for imaginary bidding. Now I have seen everything. Have good night
>>685422412
>Standup, dizzy as fuck
>legs spaghetti
>I start walking and get another microsleep
>eyes roll back in head
>almost fall backward they rolled so hard
>turn on some good happy techno
>feeling happy, thinking about rave girls and parties
>meanwhile I haven't slept for three days and decided to drop acid that night
>realize it's like 12 already, shit.
>people in a car drove past me and when I looked at the headlights up close my eyes rolled backwards
>they honestly looked at my like I was the antichrist
>start to feel like a badass demon butler from black butler
>yes yes, a classy demon butler who is worth his salt
>ANYWAYS
>get home, sit down
>smoke some more purple dank around 1AM
>at that point I was fucking delusional
>my mind was raving about random stupid acid thoughts so much I'd quit watching tv for like 10 minutes
>I started getting visuals, looked up and saw spinning purplish circles in the ceiling
>nothing really happened besides watching the sun come up that morning
>went for a small morning walk, I was kinda panicking about my sleep deprivation at this point
>oh man there is a really nice view of the sunrise by my house though
>ended up falling asleep around 8AM
>TLDR; Tried staying up for four days to fix sleep schedule and now I'm worse off than ever
>>685414266
WOW he threatened you? really?
jesus christ youre a beta cuck
fight his dumbass and lose as he sits on you because you weigh 70pounds lmao
>>685423406
You're just jealous that a shitty lamp is worth more than you're stanly pussy
>>685423582
TopKek
>>685423135
>£
what is that like pesos?
Someone with more skills than me, screencap this badass thread!
>>685423582
I'm impressed actually. It's like/b/ just grew up before my eyes.
>>685423406
Worry not m'lady for there are numerous vaginas to be found on the internets. Is yours made of a precious material?
>>685423716
Hardly worth capping the whole thing. The hard part is making it one picture.
>>685423769
Nope, just a regular vagina.
>>685423767
Well sounds like it's time you fucked off and left the lamp bidding to the men
>>685413250
I'd invite your dad to the carnival, seems like we'd really enjoy our time together.
>>685423974
I'm actually gonna do just that. Thread is dead now anyways.
>>685423917
Oh. Well, this is a lamp thread. Maybe there's a vagina thread somewhere?
>>685424196
It's/b/. Every thread is a tits and pussy request thread. That's why I'm surprised. It's like I just stumbled into the gay part of /b/ I didn't know existed. Kind of makes me think higher of /b/
>>685424196
Was*
>>685424142
So there should be nothing stopping you posting a photo of your puss puss
>>685413250
no pants, strong self esteem
When is he dying?
>>685424547
Nothing in it for me now. I found the thread really entertainingredients until the bidding happened. Figured I would take a pic of my pussy in the bathroom to keep enjoying the thread but that didn't work out so yea...no face/pussy pic is a small price to pay on an anonymous website so I can enjoy a funny thread but oh well
>>685424404
Anyone can find tits/pussy on the internets but not everyone can bid for the right to own an incredible lamp.
>>685424999
Nice trips. Yea I'm not offended lol I'm just surprised. I don't care now that the thread is dead.
>>685424976
You weren't going to do it anyway, quit kidding yourself. You just took this opportunity to make it look like you would.
>>685424976
Hey the bid biddings stopped if you hadn't noticed we've come through now it's time for you to uphold your end of the deal
>>685413250
Dude bro man he looks chill as fuck, my dude! I'd drink a brew wit him
>>685425191
Off to join the new thread then, I suppose? You coming? Lol.
>>685416532
Fuck off from this site you underage faggot.
You aren't entitled to shit, god I fucking hate kids who think everyone should bend over and give them everything. I bet when you grow up the most productive thing you do in your day is asking people for money. Filthy scum, fuck you.
>>685413250
He looks like a morbidly obese Stone Cold Steve Austin, but that's okay. And he's about to stun his dumb ass step son, then pound some beers. And that's the bottom line, because Stone cold said so. You see that face, OP? That's the look of disappointment, son.
>>685425290
I have plenty of times before. It's anonymous website where nobody knows who I am. Theres zero risk. I do it once in a while to get /b/ to stop fucking up threads I like
>>685425617
The power of pussy. But this time, this time it has failed you femanon.
>>685425617
Less talk more pussy
>>685425617
>regularly use pussy to bribe /b/ into doing things
What a slut. You got a cam site or something?
>>685416581
as an avid masturbator, i can personally confirm that throwing mine out would be good for neither of those things
>>685425770
I know. First time for everything
>>685425818
No. /b/ is use just pretty desperate so I use it to my advantage once in a while. Kill me. It's an anonymous website who cares. Nobody knows it's me
>>685426018
Kill you? Why?
I mean, the rekt thread is getting thin on content, so some OC would be nice, but why you in particular?
I'd much rather sue you for bodily autonomy. You're giving it away for free as it is, might as well let someone else profit from the exposure.
>>685425846
You know why thrush exists? So women know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.
>>685426136
And as soon as I post that, I realize how fucked up it is.
Sorry about that. Time for me to sleep.
>>685425846
Perhaps the quality has diminished? To what do you attribute this defeat?
>>685426136
If anyone is gonna profit it its gonna be me ;) I have the vagina after all. Nobody pays to see penis. I'll think about it, prob a good way to make extra cash
>>685426162
Not funny
>>685426346
Well, that's why I brought up a cam site in the first place...
>>685426018
>who cares
nobody
>nobody knows it's me.
you already asked who cares, which nobody does. redundant.
Now, please, shut the hell up, get off the internet and kill yourself.
>>685426473
Realistically I wouldn't go through with it. Nudes here and there on /b/ with no face is as far as i'll go.
>>685426446
Hilarious
>>685426571
Seems like you cared enough to make a lengthy response. Judging by all the comments I'm getting I would have to say you are wrong
>>685413250
This guy looks like he has a real piece of shit for a stepson. I mean the kind of pathetic faggot who can't even come up with his own insults and has to toady up to 4chan b/astards to learn some.
I got cash. Is it too late to make a bid?
>>685426957
Is that monopoly money?
>>685426957
Timestamp, faggot.
Also, >>685422622
>>685426631
Wise choice, femanon. I have to check the lamp thread. Don't derail it with your pussy! Lol.
>>685427053
Those are Euros!
Those are legal European tender.
>>685427114
I don't think /b/ is gonna let me anyways XD
>>685426798
I'm pretty sure everyone realizes by now that you're not a female, you're a 'boi pussy' faggot who's angry that this thread didn't turn in the direction you wanted to.
If this makes you feel like an actual woman then whatever floats your goat.
top cake
looks like a satisfied Mc Donalds customer
>>685427233
Non of my posts implied I was angry. Just responding to anons commenting to me. Don't really care if you think I'm a woman or not. Not sure why you seen so aggressive and upset that answering responses
>>685427126
No they're pound, British tender
>>685427769
You'd think the Queen would've given it away.
>>685415194
Post of the year
>>685413250
he's fat
Op is upset this dude is stuffing his mom full of cock
>>685428257
He's not.. well yeah, he is but it's the badass kind of fat.
>>685428495
>>685413250
They don't make pants that big
>>685428566
>>685413593
/thread
I think femanon rustled someones jimmies. Just a hunch.
>>685428690
>>685416532
Lol what a Faggot.
Fuck off OP you spoilt little shit.
Your dad looks cool as Fuck, shame he raised just a shitty kid
>>685429091
>>685413250
Sorry you have to deal with this little cunt and his "bantz," whatever the fuck that means. It's fine though since his mother has been your semen dumpster for a time.
Well done sir, treat your legit child better than this scuzzball. You should hit him with bundles of sticks to reinforce the fact that he is a huge faggot.
>>685429666
>>685429838
fag
>>685426957
>Post 500 euros
>Valued at $561.20 USD
>Last bid was £1777.77 GBP
>Valued at $2578.12 USD
You need a bid of 3,350 Euro to be relevant here
>>685426571
>
This.
We don't care. You even made me leave this thread. Go fall off a cliff, cunt.
>>685416532
you shoulda been rekt gtfo newfag
