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You are all members of the U.S. Congress. Rolling a 2 will become

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 292
Thread images: 31
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You are all members of the U.S. Congress. Rolling a 2 will become a law. The only rule is that Rerolls are forbidden.
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op has to wear a buttplug
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Paying taxes is optional.
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Abolish the age of consent
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referendums can be voted on
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>>685199080
i get to breed with all the women.
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>>685199080
Pizza is a vegetable
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Every kike needs to get gassed
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Rerolls are allowed only if dubs are rolled.
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cheese pizza for all who are hungry
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>>685199080
We make no more laws for this week
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Spaghetti HAS to be stored in pockets
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Everyone, Who isn't infected with cancer will be hunted and killed!
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All men are castrated; the patriarchy is destroyed
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>>685199080
All rape is legalized
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Vegetarianism or veganism is now a crime worthy of the death penalty
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god we are getting less done that real congress
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>>685199080
Every citizen in the US must light up one for 420. This applies to infants and the elderly.
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>>685199080
Have to call this a barbecue
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increase the unemployment rate
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This thread will become a Spider-Man thread.
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Deport the blacks
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Kill all fags and bi people as well as emos
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Congress now makes laws with rolls of 0-9
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Full communism is instated.
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the clintons and bushs have to live together n a reality show hell
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The United States will here by be considered the shittiest country in the world. This law must be enforced for and by all American citizens.

It's not like everybody else doesn't already believe it.
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>>685199080
All non-whites must be deported immediately.
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All who own Hilary Clinton merchandise unironically get executed
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Gas the kikes.
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>>685199080
Sack all the members of congress and employ 200 cats to run the US
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>>685199080
senators and congress men can only serve two terms.
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Electoral college is abolished
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Kill the straight people
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free drugs
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Americans need to accept the fact that they are all faggots.
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>>685199080
Trump is elected eternal emperor and Mexicans are deported to Iraq.
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Everybody must become bisexual
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Install technocracy as political system
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Banana is made the state bird of California.
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deceit must be abolished
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Every tuesday, blowjob tuesday, everyone caught not giving a blowjob will be put to death
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Vassalship to UK
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Autism is now mandatory.
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All niggers get deported
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Delete the number 2 from the system and change it with 9 numbers. (same way binary has only 2 numbers)
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>>685201482
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ban football
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All men will have a vibrator permanently installed in their prostate, random women will be given control of the activation remote and women are free to activate this remote at any time.
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all drivers must take a 80 hour driving class and pass all requirements before being given a drivers license or permit. Women will also not be able to drive anymore.
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Everybody is now a nigger.
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everyone who doesn't realize they are an idiot will be executed
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>>685201482
God bless
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Disolve the monetary system and introduce a resource based economy.
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>>685201482
Sorry mullato you have to go back!!
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free speech no exceptions
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revoke women's right to vote
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this thread is illegal
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No gender neutral restooms.
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>>685201482
Good first law, agreed. All white men must now become trap sissies.
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>>685201482
checked

I roll that SJWs go to shame camps
The camps deliver tame punishments, such as newspaper whaps and stern "NO!"s. Every time they spew their bullshit, they go to shame camp.
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>>685200644
Roll
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>>685201632
My nigga.

LGBT people are executed
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Every generation, the bottom 20% of people by intelligence are sterilized.
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>>685199080
My asshole is to be penetrated everytime I roll dubs
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Mississippi loses statehood
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>>685201632
You have done well, my son.
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i have a big dick
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The internet is shut down
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>>685201892
You faggot
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>>685201892
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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>>685201632
BOMBS IN THE AIRPORTS
FIRES IN THE THEATRE

Also, I'm rolling for 100 extra goodboy points and 100 extra pretty princess points every month to every citizen. With this, they can afford chicken tendies once a month.
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Memes declared legally dank.
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>>685201892
FUCK YOU
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>>685201688
No reroll faggot, only original.
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All the niggers are imported back along with their African comrades
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>>685201731
yes please
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>>685201892
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>>685201892
/r/nosurf is this way.
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>>685201482
Our first law, beautiful.

2 get: All human monuments are replaced with platinum statues of Donald Trump and Shrek.
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Nudity is mandatory
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>>685201892
I roll to repeal this
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>>685202092
DOUBLE EDGED SWORD OH FUCK
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>>685201892
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Legalise witch buring, first to go is Hillary Clinton
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Kill all niggers and jews.
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>>685202092
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All arguments have to be settled through a dick measuring contest.
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>>685202092
Oh shi
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its opposite day
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Firstborns are to be sacrificed once every year
In the case that your firstborn isn't born yet, please see Dr Deletus, for he shalt annihilate your fetus.
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>>685199080

You all must kill yourselves.
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The office of President is restablished to be a dual office, Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump both become head of state
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There can't be any laws passed, following this law.
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Donald J. Trump will forever rule Murica
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Islam becomes the official religion of the US
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All prior laws are repealed
All other posts above this become laws
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Mandatory conversion to Judaism
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Jews shall forever remain in charge
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All women must submit to the sexual advances of men
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>>685199080
Instant runoff voting for Presidential Election.
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All jews get deported
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Mandatory term limits; no person shall serve in any government role for more than 10 total years combined.
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the highest payed worker cannot be paid more than 10x of what the lowest payed worker gets
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Religion is outlawed, all people must become atheists and wear fedoras
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4chan is deleted forever.
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Cumskins have to go back
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It is shocking how few 2 are rolled.

5 and 7's are now 2's
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kill everyone over 300 lbs
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You need to sing the nationtal anthem before fapping.
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That 4chan is cleared of all newfags and anyone who says that any other site is better is put to death
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>>685202691
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Arguments must be settled via sword battles. Two people fight, one comes out.
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SJW are to be takes to the town square and beaten with iron rods
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>>685199080
Moot MUST come back to 4chan.
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>>685202702
I declare a law that you're a faggot
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>>685202712
I love you...

Its shocking how few 2's are rolled.

2 Get: 5's and 7's are now 2's
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>>685202702
You didn't declare yourself part of the House Rules Committee, fuck off.
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OP gets the congressional medal of faggotry
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>>685199080
The AIDS virus is now mandatory for all citizens
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Exterminate all native Americans
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>>685202762
Love it, love everything about it.
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Law: Voting only on Sundays.
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Cumskins are shoah'd
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>>685199080
Drugs are legal
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The My Little Pony: FIM theme song becomes the new national anthem
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Everyone gets a loli
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Pot is now legal everywhere.
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>>685201482
>>685201632
>>685201892
>>685202092
>>685202712
>>685202762
We not doing that bad so far
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>>685201482
Kek
/thread
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All cis scum get their penises chopped off!
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>>685199080
Females can't vote
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Scientists will genetically alter women to grow a penis in addition to having a vagina
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>>685203012
dammit you just ended the thread by law.
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Mandatory gun ownership for mentally capable adults.
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Everyone has to say my dick is the biggest dick of all dicks on earth.
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>>685203012
rekt
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>>685202595
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrow's_impossibility_theorem
Only math will be taught in high school, to prevent this.
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Everyone gets a pony
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>>685203012
/rethread
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All citizens of good mental standing and no criminal record are to be given a fire arm upon their 18th birthday.
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>>685201892
now dont be such a faggot

my law is you can rape whoever you like on a monday, just have a timestamp
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All Jews must die
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Make dead baby necrophilia legal.
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Cumskins go back to Europe
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The government will start a matchmaking program for proper genetic stability.
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Trump is president for life!
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>>685199080
All Muslims will be executed
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>>685203142
Fuckin sweet, mine will be named Buttercup
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kill all women over 30
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Nigs and all races (except Asians cause they make good anime) are banned from the US
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>>685203142
I approve of this.
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Prostitution and drugs are now legal.
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>>685203477
This includes whites.
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Eugenics is now an officially recognized and respected science.
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>>685199080
>murica must collect every single penny from every single citizen of the United States
>must spend it all on building under water living facility
>every single american shall be moved to the under water living facility
>cannot resurface or death penalty including killing of family members
>let americans die by their own law
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>>685199080
Cancer is now required.
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>>685203571
I'm half Asian fuck boi
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>>685199080
faggots are to be sent to worker camps, refixing the infrastructure for the rest of their lives
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Banks are now illegal!
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The Purge becomes a thing
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18th amendment brought back
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Everyone is allowed to have consensual sex with anyone they choose for one day out of every month.
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>>685203542
Guess hooker and coke party at my house tonight.
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Everyone who's an odd-numbered age has to cut their dick off to stop overpopulation

>yfw even-numbered master race
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bring back the niggers, deport sandniggers instead
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Cumskins are banned from the US
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>>685199080
world peace if you dont abide you will be put to death by hanging
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>>685203478
in related news, bronies are nowhere to be found in public and many people are calling in sick from work days at a time.
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>>685203650
Asians make shitty cartoons. They can fuck off too.
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Article 1 removed from constitution
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Everyone is a fag fag faggy gay
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Rich people have to pay 99% in any taxes!
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anime is illegal
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>>685199080
Gas Jews and Niggers on sight.
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>>685203699
Your grandma is calling you...
Carbon based fuels will be phased out in the next 20 years.
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>>685203802
Oh fuck
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>>685203111
Just because you can't have a perfect system doesn't mean you can't choose a better one.
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>>685203853
they'll just leave. i know one guy who moved out of new york and the state harassed him for years; he actually had to prove to them he was no longer a new york citizen for tax reasons.
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>>685203802
In addition, full communism instated.
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Profanity is allowed on terrestrial radio allowed by the FCC.
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All laws after this one are laws jews can ignore
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Vegan food is now the only legal food!
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All types of banned porn are now legal
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REMOVE CUMSKIN REMOVE CUMSKIN
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SJW's are all raped at least once so they can have some idea what they are talking about.
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Assisted suicide legal everywhere
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Trump gets sent to Iran
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we join russia and bask in the glory that is putin
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>>685204255
better yet we wait till hes elected then shoot him
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>>685202092
Can we amend this to only attractive people must be nude at all times?
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No sex outside of marriage
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>>685203798
Anime isn't a fucking cartoon you dumbass
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Congress is hereby abolished
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Everything made law in this thread is now illegal or reversed back
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>>685204412
Ayyyyy
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>>685204412
And nothing of value was lost
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>>685203477
>cause they make good anime

THAT'S your reason to let them stay? Because they make fucking cartoons?
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stupid tv shows are banned!
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Communists are to be executed by group mobs
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>>685204412
anarchy?
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4chan closed
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All furries now rule the country in a new democracy. Bronies do not count.
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>>685204512
Uh oh.
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>>685204512
bring it bitch
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>>685204585
>>
>>685204512
Kapitalists are to be executed by group mobs
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>>685204637
Because commies are such a tough opponent
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We should go on reddits model us gov, and create a 4chan political party to fuck with the sim
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Make Christianity the official religion of the US.
Make English the official language of the US.
End birthright citizenship, if your grandparents were illegals then you and your parents have to leave the US for your real home. Be sure to thank grandma and grandpa for your problems.
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The national bird shall be changed from the bald eagle to the majestic woodpecker.
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I would literally would shoot myself, first of all being one, much less talking about a USA congressman/women makes me want to pull my eye sock out. Why can't they do something good or decent for once? If I was a member of the congress ohh wait I can't because I didn't finish my college education why because I don't get enough financial aid But I could get a student loan and pay it back by oh I don't know 15 year or so but then again by then my daughter would be in college.
>>
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>>685204728
im actually american but have you seen where this shit has gotten us? donald trump as a presidential candidate
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CP is now legal
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>>685204724
You failed faggot
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Make the border between Mexico and the United States a dumping ground for toxic waste.
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Legal prostitution
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>>685204989
how about cali?
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No one is allowed to exist
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>>685205022
Checked
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People who voted for Trump for POTUS have to wear a bad toupee in public for twenty years.
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>>685205022
My man. My fucking man. This right here.

If 2, EVERY woman has to offer sex services by law.
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>>685204923
>have you seen where this shit has gotten us?
He's right guys, we should all aspire to be like communist Russia or Cuba.
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>>685205022
illegal sex
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>>685205202
Legal sex and this law cannot be repealed.
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>>685205202
Fuck off. If 2 this nigga is the first person that gets a bullet in the head
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>>685205112
>Implying I already wouldn't
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Free Use is legal
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>>685205292
hahahahahahaha
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Age of consent is abolished
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4chan becomes illegal!
>>
>>685205292
>>685205202
Fucking annihilated
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Right. Wing. Death. Squads.
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>>685203584
This is retarded in like 42 different ways. You should be banned from Earth.
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Cheese Pizza is handed out by the government.
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Sonic the hedgehog games are no longer allowed within our borders
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barneyfag
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>>685199080
We kill all white males.
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Salary of all congress members increase by 10,000%
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>>685204020
The United States is one of 3 countries that collect income taxes on citizens when they are living and working outside of the country.
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if 2 this thread is cancer and must be abandoned
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>>685205194
at least theres one person here whos not completely retarded
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>>685199080
Satanism is prohibited, prosecutors are to be executed.
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no more world borders
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We nuke every motherfucking country on earth.
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>>685199080
Free heroin for the elderly!
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Male prisons are to be converted into labor camps. Female prisons are to be converted into rape camps.
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CUMSKINS BACK TO EUROPE
GETTT
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forbid alcohol
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Mandatory Butt-Plugs
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>>685206050
yea its called a nursing home what do you think we do there
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Kim Jong Un gets immediately assassinated
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>>685199080
National age of consent reduced to three years old.
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Every father must breed their daughter at her 18th birthday
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There must be a tv channel devoted to TayTay going ass to ass on a double dildo with Katie Perry and other assorted famous hoes.
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All men must reduce penis size to 2 inches
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lynch niggers on sight
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>>685206212
fuck korea anyway
>>
We will take to the stars and reclaim all our lost worlds as a part of a new Imperium of Man
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>>685206212
Why would you wish something like that on Best Korea m8?
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Drugs, illicit or prescription are now OTC regulated similar to tobacco and alcohol. The money spent on "The War on Drugs" is reallocated to universal healthcare and treating drug abuse as a disease.
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>>685206493
so close
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>>685206377
can i please reroll for this
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NASAs funding is to be tripled and have permanent colonies on the moon and Mars by 2050
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>>685206545
No faggot. Learn to read the fucking rules.
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Christianity, in all its forms, to be recognized as the superior religion.
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speaking normally is not allowed anymore. instead everyone must talk like the average human imagines people from the stone age talked.
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Ever bathroom must be gender neutral. Men and women use the same restroom.
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All niggers will be put in front of a firing squad
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All 2 laws are

Any future 2 laws are veto'd
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>>685206673
the opposite of this
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>>685206748
Just in front? Like walk by a firing squad?
>>
>>685199080
All niggers and spicks will get sent to arizona
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Accessing 4chan is now illegal
>>
>>685199080
All niggers should be killed

Roll
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>>685206673
Christianity banned. Anyone seen practicing will pay a special tax.
>>
SKWs who survive the iron rod beatings and continue with their ideology are to be placed at the city entrance and raped by anybody who wishes.
>>
laws have no legal force anymore
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>>685206772
>>685206885
already got it fgt
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>>685206673
and for our next act, we will recognize that dog shit is the superior feces.
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>>685203142
Thanks Vermin Supreme
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>>685206673
>>685206772
Atheists:1 Christians: 0
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>>685200021
Kek
>>
Donkey shows are now legal and encouraged to occur as often as possible.
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>>685207032
Thanks pupper
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Places of worship (Churches, Temples, Mosques, etc.) will recieve a 100% property tax. All that money will be used to fund ISIS.
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Driver license photos are to be replaced with a picture of your aroused genitals.
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>>685207102
vermin supreme is literally from rick and morty
>>
I am God
>>
Citizens must perform a public sex act on their 15th birthday
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>>685207267
That money is already being used to fund ISIS in real life, no need for that law.
>>
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we put all of our tech efforts into spaces and human augmentation
Thread replies: 292
Thread images: 31


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