Feels thread. Last one 404'd
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Feels thread. Last one 404'd
>>684545536
Didn't see last one so this might of been in there
Well, I take a medication known as Wellbutrin. I'm on a pretty strong dose. Whenever I forget to take it I feel horribly dizzy, and horrible emotions overtake me. I feel worthless, I feel as if I disgust people. I feel like I have no aspirations in life. I feel horribly overweight (still do when I am on meds). I feel so lazy and useless. I feel incompetent. The worst part is that everyone I know can tell when I'm not on it, like when I forget it. It's horrible.
>>684545536
was watching Malcolm in the middle for some nostalgia, and this scene came up.
>>684547909
That hit me harder than it should've
>>684547909
Malcolm in the middle gets quite depressing in some points, I'm watching it again for nostalgia and some parts just hit me hard.
Don't feel like dumping much. But maybe a couple of pictures.
>shit soaked life anon
>>684549837
>>684549945
Yeah, unless I can find something else interesting, this will be it for now.
>>684550021
Dude. Fuck
>>684550021
I don't like
This one has a deeper meaning within.
This picture sums up what a 4chan user really is.
They are still functioning, but are empty on the inside.
>you're always the one to cheer up the people who feel down
>you're the average joe amidst the other average janes and joes who become a super hero praised for their work
>you choices have made you a clown that everyone enjoys to be around
>inside you're just a machine working a shell around
>you can't change since no one can see you any other way
>you can't show any signs of sadness or grief because they too will feel sadness and grief
>you're the clown, who deep inside wishes to truly come out
>friends doesn't call you anymore
>doesn't answer your calls anymore
>nothing
>not a "I don't want to hang with you anymore"
>don't understand
>just want to call him names but I know he just doesn't care
>>684552757
Aren't you glad though?
I've spent a long time back and forth between this site and I really think experiences, and people met from 4chan made me able to deal with so much shit I see many regular people unable to understand or cope with. Death being the easiest one I can think of, if I had known someone who died, it always used to bug me for a while depending on the person, but when someone very close died last year, I remember being asked things like how I knew the person by people with bloodshot teary eyes. Honestly what makes me uncomfortable now is just not knowing what to do in situations where someone needs a legit heart to heart, no bullshit, or emotional reinforcement. I don't know how to explain whatever it is I'm trying to say, it's hard, but I'm sure someone out there feels the same.
I'm not sad, just bored.
I want to become ill just to have something different happen. But I can't because he will think it's his fault
Need more still done feel anything.
>>684553128
I've seen this somewhere, but lost the pic.
thanks for this
>tfw niggers won't pay up for the smack shipment.
>>684554585
Are you me?
>>684555258
that's what you get for selling to niggers. lucky you didn't get aids.
>>684555004
Here's the picture you're thinking of friend
>>684556222
thanks man
>>684550114
My situation exactly
Fuck you lily
>>684555831
I'm just another product of this site as are most of us I'm sure.
in the shifting dawn you'll find yourself alone.
again.
and goddamn it all if you can't feel the pull of the world around you
why the hell can't you go with the pull?
to be as one of the complacent, growing to hate those things fashionably loved
aging regret as though it were wine
yet it is not yours or mine to judge
nor our place to struggle
that damnable sun will rise yet again and we will as well
and wonder when the future turned to ash around us
>>684548503
It's worse when they look and act like your own family.
Earlier today, some b-tard posted a series of image from the Futurama episode, "Game of Tones". It hit me hard... my mom died 3 years ago, and while I'm as over it as I'm ever going to be... it's my mom, man.
I hopped over to youtube and watched it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRuAKWJ8Ets
I broke down and spent several minutes bawling. I can't fucking stand it.
>shit soaked life anon here
>>684550271
>shit soaked life anon
>>684557129
Here you go.
>>684545536
>grew up poor, not even able to speak english
>picked on in school relentlessly
>molested at a young age
>make a few good friends
>watch them turn to shit, druggies, alcoholics degenerates
>have a couple girlfriends, cheaters or left me for someone else
>work hard in school to get somewhere in life
>work weekends at minimum wage job to pay for bills
>body is mediocre despite lifting for years, probably because of shit diet
>stay up most nights till 2-4am playing games alone
>I feel empty most days but I live for the moments where I can get everyone together and make them laugh with my dark ironic sense of humor
I only tell you this because even when I am being serious my friends think I am joking and trying to make them laugh
No one takes my problems seriously no matter how big or small because they dont see me as someone who can be sad
>>684550021
the cat isnt dead its a female thats the male on top just trying to get some pussy he eventually gives up due to the bitch being a bitch
>be me
>meet this girl in a resturant
>got her number
>text her next day, honestly i was like fuckyeah im gona get laid this week
>she says shes not into sex with strangers
>we hang out some day, she tell me stuff like shes in love from the first time she saw me
>keep up with that bullshit.
>finally after a month of saying that stuff i start falling in love of her
>she suddently start texting me less and less by the days
>till one day she just dont answer my text anymore, blocked my calls
>>684557515
We're here to listen to you anon dont worry we'll take you seriously
>>684557898
Stay lonely, faggot.
>>684557898
Girls do shit like this all the time.
my dad once jokingly said "i should have drowned you in the tub when you where a baby" and i laughed along with everyone else but deep down i wish he would have.
>>684557898
>1 month
>Falling in love
Spoken like someone who's never known love.
Also you met her in a restaurant, called her next day, and expected to get laid ASAP, then fucked up hard enough to have her have to tell you she doesn't fuck strangers?
Holy shit dude just reflect on that for a bit and realize why you are lonely.
>>684557898
I had something very similar happen to me. I fell hard for a girl who strung me along. Then out of nowhere she pretty much quit talking to me and I found out she had shacked up with a fireman. I still hate firemen to this day...
>>684558850
The same with my dad "too bad you didnt succede your suiicide attempt"
does anyone else think we come on to feels threads just to be reassured that we are not alone in our pain, our struggles, and more importantly to just not be alone?
>>684560412
all the time
>>684560412
i know i do
>>684545855
Hm... some perspective I guess.
You don't realize you're in THAT family until you move out. It doesn't occur to you that maybe it's not normal to comfort your drunken, sobbing mother in the dead of night when you're eight years old. You don't realize that when other kids say they fight with their siblings, they don't mean your mother coming home to find a hole in the drywall from one son's head and the other son's blood smeared all over the kitchen. Most people with "daddy issues" didn't jam their finger's into their father's eye sockets to stop him from assaulting a family member in broad daylight. You assume every family has "that guy," you know the guy that slashes his wrists in between drug binges. "Oh, you!" you think, paternalistically shaking your head. Years later, when your brother shows up out of the blue in his piece of shit pick up, your dad's stolen belongings in the back, waving a rusty machete, you just can't understand why your fiance is freaking out so bad. "What's her problem?" you think.
>>684561076
Fuck. We're screwed. Why try.
I remember when I thought I'd never go in a feels thread, whenever I was having a bad day I'd just go in a YLYL or jerk off or some shit to forget it
>mfw the laughter stopped
>mfw masturbation has lost its fun
>mfw I'm too unmotivated to find a decent reaction image for this
>>684549837
why do you allow that label to stick to you through all these threads man?
>>684551783
Feelsbadman
>>684561076
Only just going on 23? You're fine.
Go get some academic Upgrading and hop into IT or some shit.
Even though we all have problems, we all have different stories, some worse than others, we are a community, a family, we are all brothers and sisters here even if no one knows each other in real life, because here is the only place you feel welcome, the only place you feel people are not going to make fun of you, here people will listen to you and relate to your problems. i love you /bros
Hey, I've been having some problems lately and wondered if anyone wanted to hear and maybe give me some suggestions?
>>684561076
Turned 23 a little over a month ago and saw this post now and felt pretty damn good about it. Guess perspective is relative.
>>684562101
Just post it you fucker. It's part of the thread
>>684562101
No. We don't care, go whine somewhere else, faggot.
>>684562101
Go on anon, i got nothin else to do
>>684561324
>>684549837
Hey. Caught you in a lot of these threads the last few days. I know how you feel, and I've heard your story. We're here for you, /b/ro. Always will be. I've been going through a hell of a lot the last month, unfortunately.
post the names of the girls you love but cant have or the ones who got away. for me her name is angelica
>>684555178
4 a.m. is for faggots like me who should probably not be cramming
>>684562764
Laura
>>684562764
Isabel
>>684562764
Henri
>>684562348
Pushy. I just wanted to make sure someone would listen
>anyway, be me 17 yo
>inb4 underage b&
>yeah, idgaf, I mainly lurk anyway
>have gf of like 8 months
>we love each other
>not really any relationship problems or whatever (all this becomes important later)
>be me bored af one day
>start screwing around on Omegle
>run some code I found on Github to spy on conversations because I'm not 1337 enough to write my own hax
>get b&
>wellshit.midi
>now I'm bored with no strangers to talk to
Cont.
>>684562764
Elizabeth
>>684549837
>>684557143
>>684557304
Hey anon, I know I keep seeing you label yourself as sir shit soak or whatever, but i want to know why? Why do you hold that label to yourself?
>>684562764
Camila
Wat is best
http://www.strawpoll.me/10225779
>>684563320
>17 y.o.
>in love
Already, I can see this is going to be worth no one's time. Experience more, then come back.
>>684563320
this isn't ylyl
>>684562764
Natalie
>>684563320
I want to hear more, whats up.
please cont.
>>684549837
Also these are the exact same symptoms that your relationship with a significant other is dying
About midway into my first semester of College and everyone up and drops out of my life, mainly cause I went against the "leader" of my social group and his pet fuckboi. Now treated like Satan incarnate and panic attack whenever I see someone I used to know. Fucking hate it.
>>684563320
>find the most cancerous chatroom ever
>it's like horny 21 yo indian men trying to pick up 15 yo girls to trade nudes or get on cam
>this shit is insane
>i just follow my instincts and start shitposting like the faggot I am
>whatever
>i send "WAKE ME UP WAKE ME UP INSIDE CAN'T WAKE UP BEFORE I COME UNDONE SAVE ME"
>some chick pm's me the rest
>we start talking in pms for a while
>seems pretty cool
>the the moment of truth
>gotkik.zip
>she had kik
Now basically I'm a giant faggot (in case you couldn't tell from my autistic greentexting) and I'm torn between this girl who lives within driving distance (it's seriously only like 90 minutes) and this girl I've been with for almost nine months.
I SAW in Louisiana a live-oak growing,
All alone stood it, and the moss hung down from the
branches;
Without any companion it grew there, uttering joyous
leaves of dark green,
And its look, rude, unbending, lusty, made me think
of myself;
But I wonder'd how it could utter joyous leaves,
standing alone there, without its friend, its
lover near—for I knew I could not;
And I broke off a twig with a certain number of
leaves upon it, and twined around it a little
moss,
And brought it away—and I have placed it in sight in
my room;
It is not needed to remind me as of my own dear
friends,
(For I believe lately I think of little else than of
them;)
Yet it remains to me a curious token—it makes me
think of manly love;
—For all that, and though the live-oak glistens there
in Louisiana, solitary, in a wide flat space,
Uttering joyous leaves all its life, without a friend, a
lover, near,
I know very well I could not.
>>684563648
TOP KEK
>>684560412
i just come here to help myself cry
>>684562764
Jeanette
>>684563648
Kek, but it is my life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBobmn_u98w
If this doesn't make you feel anon you might be dead inside
>>684562764
Haley
>>684563558
are you my clone?
>>684562764
Katherine
>>684562764
Britiany. I think i just fell pretty much in love with her and she ships off to the navy in a week or two. Im afraid I will never see her again after this
>>684564942
Is this true, then? Do you all hate yourselves more than you hate anything else?
I don't come here to cry,
I come here to remind myself I'm still alive.
>>684562764
I feel like Im the one who left her. She killed herself after I left.
>>684564976
youll see her again anon..........after she gets wrecked by the crew
>>684564724
>>684562764
Ellen
>>684562764
Her name is ellen
>>684552757
You qualified yet?
>>684562764
Milena.
>>684562764
Liel
>shit soaked life anon
>>684563442
No problem asking. There is a story behind it but to make it short, here is the pic.
>>684565368
shit that is what i'm worried about. I dont know why she fell for me, i literally only started to work out and try to get really good looking after we started going out because i want to look good for her and maker her happy, but she is literally the most hit on person i know, and im so scared that she can find someone else in minutes. I'm going to fade into her past.
>>684564442
wait thats it? Why are you even here?
>leave abusive relationship but still fucked up
>NEETing at parents' house while I recover
>finally break down and tell parents what happen
>they don't care and are still as disappointed in me as before
>tell therapist
>therapist listens to story and asks about self-destructive tendencies
>no input or advice, just worried i'm gonna off myself
>say no because now i feel alienated from the person i'm paying to be my only form of human contact
Everything he said to me was true. I am worthless and a bad person and no one will ever love me again.
>>684564724
i was not prepared for this
>>684562764
Nicole
>>684563093
same but spelled Lara. been with innumerable amounts of women but none of them were her. Still think about her every day. its been years since she was mine
>>684562764
Magdalena
>1000 words couldn't sum up the depth of my feel.
you do it to yourself
and that's what really hurts
>>684564976
There are some things in the world that you do not have control of. What would you have her do, leave her choice just for you?
>>684565778
and i've seen that pic before, so I get the origin of the name, but I'm still curious as to why "shit soaked life anon" why hold that name against yourself? why not just anon? I mean, aren't all of our lives shit soaked to a degree?
>>684566444
oh god... the trips... the feels...
>>684566444
Now post the next one kek
>>684562764
her name is Erin
>>684566444
>can i be smart to
To The Moon is depressing af
>>684566593
i know and i get that and thats what makes me the saddest. I want her to be happy because she means a lot to me. If she has to move on i understand it. She has to live her life, but it tears me up inside. I can't imagine moving on to another girl after her. She is too special to me. I just don't know what to feel now.
>>684566873
My favorite steam game. Anyone who hasn't played it should play it.
>>684566882
You move on. She has already moved on.
>>684562764
Erin
>>684567123
Everytime I listen to "Everything is Alright", it ruins my day
how do i get self confidence?
pic related , everytime happens to me
>>684562764
Frances
>>684562764
Aerielle
>>684557304
Fuck you, man. I don't need to break down twice in one day. I have to work tomorrow and I don't need a hangover from having to drink myself to sleep.
>>684551783
Happened to me a few weeks ago.
In the dream we were in a park on a beautiful summer day. We were holding hands and she let go to slip her arm around my waist. That's when I woke up.
I've been single since last October, after a 7 year relationship. I'm so long out of the game that I don't even know how to get back into it.
>>684562764
The only girl I ever loved was a girl named Alyssa and i was too young to understand if it was real or not... I hope it was real or else it would mean no one has ever loved me...
>>684567824
We love you bro. We're all alone together.
>>684567329
Someday you will listen to it and feel stronger for it for there was once a day where it made you feel weak.
Anyone else here find it impossible to cry anymore?
>>684567542
i want to see the people who make these shitty motivational images
>>684567824
>>684567123
yea
>>684567824
Had my fair share with girls that name, all stupid cunts be happy you didn't get stuck with her.
>>684562764
Megan M
>>684568058
yeah anon I know how you feel, but every no and then really rarely something just gets to me and it comes out
>>684564724
shit.
>>684568058
It depends.
Either TOP tier baww shit or a really serious high stress situation are the only things that do it for me anymore.
>>684556497
you pierced your daughters ears? you butcher.
>>684567347
Just change. React differently. You can not change how other people act or react. You can change how you act or react though. Be a bad motherfucker, anon.
>shit soaked life anon
>>684566636
It reminds me that my life is still soaked in deep shit after everything happened. This particular anon had it right on the nose that my life was in a downward spiral after her. I still wish to know where that anon went since I haven't thanked them properly for telling me to get over this particular individual. I keep this tag so people can still know I am lurking around. Also, I'm one to keep a name that I am given so I can easily be identified in a group both in my life and on /b/.
>>684568145
It'll be okay.
>>684568058
yea , but im always with that annoying feeling that i wanna cry but i just cant till some randome day that i finally break and cry the whole day like a bitch.
was lookin for this thread
so things are odd right now
the girl I was dating told me several times she couldnt feel intimate or physical with someone
I cut it off and it hurts but was necessary
my bestfriend just had his girlfriend he's been seeing for quite a while leave him because she misses her ex
I saw a picture she posted of her with said ex and my buddy isnt too hurt by it but it did make me feel empathetic
these girls have a thing in common where they dated someone abusive
his chick is back with that person
girl I left brought it up several times
in fact every girl I've seriously dated in the last 2 years had some kind of abuse or fucked up relationship
im not like this and neither is my buddy
this shit hurts man and I feel odd thinking about it
why would you hurt someone you love
the damage is permanent
its gonna fuck up someone else loving them too
theres nothing I can do about it
the last 3 relationships I was in they all had some real issues
there was nothing I could do
but for some reason I feel sorry
not sure who for
probably myself
probably no one
>>684568539
pseudo-tripfag just drop it.
>>684562764
i know that feeling brother
Its worse when you lose the one that mattered..
>>684568539
This pixel art is amazing. I wish I had a fraction of the skills used to create it
>>684568850
No one matters, anon.
Ive only done a few greentexts before but I have to get something off my chest
>be me, 19 at time
>addicted to weed and alchohol
>lots of friends but they're all thugs
>girlfriend of four years dies of a drug overdose
>can no longer afford a house and need a source of income
>my friend tells me that he just steals to make his income
>I tell him I dont want back in that life and walk away
>see an oldman mowing his yard
>ask him if he needs any help
>he says yes
>after I finish it up he asks me if he could pay me and I tell him yes.
>realize I could help this guy out while waiting on finding a job
>over the next month me and him become friends
>he tells me about his little girl who was died of a heart disease.
>i tell him about my girlfriend and for the first time in my life I feel like i have someone who i can connect with
>despite having a job I find myself unable to make enough money, and no one wants to hire someone with that kind of record
>i tell the old man about my situation
>he offers to pay the rent and buy groceries
>i break down
>I ask him for money almost daily
>use it on drugs and partying
>get a dui
>oldman finds out and refuses to let me work for him and he stops paying rent
>call my douche friend and tell him the situation
>i tell him I know where everything is and when he leaves
>tell him we say a barn that looked like it had something valuable in it
Cont?
>>684564724
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p-dRWZbcMQM
Saw this today, though to share it with you bros.
>>684562764
Rena
>>684562764
Julia
you rattled me pretty good
its weird how nothings worked out since you
I hope you can stay sober
I hope you wind up happy and healthy
just know I'll be alright
>>684557304 you just made me get out of bed to call my mom and tell her I love her, thanks, and now I'm crying
>>684564057
Elaborate?
I'm a kissless 18 year old fag who skipped my senior ball yesterday and posted memes here to make me feel happier.
>>684562764
Nellie
>>684569340
Congratulations.
3 years ago I was engaged to an amazing women who I loved, who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We had been together for 4 years but have known each since we were 7.
And 3 years ago I asked if she could get me some soup and meds for a cold that I had. She went to the store and when she was driving back she got struck on the driver side by a drunk driver. He lived and she died on the scene.
She was literally a loss to the world, super smart and studying Oncology to help cancer patients.
It should have been me that night and I still contemplate about killing myself from time to time.
I know it sucks that lose someone, but I didn't lose her she was taken from me.
>>684555178
Goddammit it's like im the one that wrote this I feel that every single day.
One is not the victim of mentation but instead is the very originator by virtue of intention to extract projected value. With this understanding, one is free from being dominated by the false "I" of the experiencer.
>>684568150
She was a really sweet redhead though man...
>>684569064
When it's filmed, I can't help but think they're trying to keep a good reputation instead of helping out of the goodness of their own heart
>>684569348
>taking a picture of your screen
dead
>>684569048
reading. and yes, cont.
>>684569048
Continue
its weird but im starting to feel this comfort in the idea that one day ill die
not suicide
not nihilism
nothing negative
its a warm comfort that im mortal
that no matter the pain nor happiness
one day itll go away
>>684551015
Ow... fuck... right in the left ventricle...
i'm an ugly tranny with $0.58 cents to her name and stubble
can't even buy a gun to shoot myself
>>684569516
So you plan on killing that fucking idiot or what? I know if this happened to me there would be no mercy
>>684569048
how can you do that to a kind oldman
>>684569756
>>684569783
It is helpful to understand that if one is not happy with present circumstances, the chances are that happiness will still be elusive when conditions change to meet one’s current desire. That is, if happiness is elusive now, it will continue to be so in the future because the ability to locate the source of happiness has not yet been found
>>684569516
Why didn't you kill the piece of shit?
>>684569516
There are things in the world that are out of your control. You can only move on and respect her memory.
>>684569314
All least you can tell her that in a way that she'll hear. I don't believe in an afterlife and neither did my mom. There is no talking to mom for me, and I don't know how long before she died it was that I told her I loved her... but it was too long.
Fuck, I'm going to cry again.
Desire is fueled by the illusion of lack and that the source of happiness is outside oneself and therefore has to be pursued or acquired. The importance of the object of desire is thereby inflated and overvalued by its symbolism and mystique. The pleasure of the sense of Self is blocked by desire. When that desire is fulfilled, the ego ascribes the resultant sense of joy to the acquisition of an external. However, this is a clever illusion because the actual source of the pleasure is that the block to experiencing the joy of the Self has been temporarily removed. The source of the experienced happiness is the radiance of the Self that shines forth when it is not shut off by an ego distress
>>684570339
It's okay to cry man
>>684570509
But it's not okay when I have to freeze my life because I can't stop.
>>684569848
That's what I like to call
Inner peace
>>684570388
In the spiritual world, the basic dictum is "there are no justified resentments". This statement is abhorred by the ego. "Oh yeah," it says, "but what about so and so?". It then goes through its laundry list and litany of horrors, violations or 'rights', injustices, presumptive arguements of 'ethics', 'morality', etc. Every councelor, sponsor, or professional is familiar with such recitations. To recover, the question one has to face is whether one wishes to cling to it (and thereby get the 'juice') or give it up. This is the point of decision, without which healing cannot occur
>>684569516
He got got charged for manslaughter and only got 15 years. I thought about killing him several times, the only times I could have would have been in the court rooms and then probably off myself there but I didn't
I thought I finally found love again.
Her problems:
>Schizophrenia
>Depression
>Insomnia
>1 month sober of alcohol and drugs
>Dad died two years ago
She's into me as well but she doesn't want to have to make me deal with all of above and get me hurt.
She's going away to a mental hospital for two months. Hold me /b.
>>684556140
This one hit me fucking hard.
>>684570388
Thanks, Hawkins.
>>684569048
>sneak in while the oldman is shopping
>look through his house and find a few antiques and necklaces but nothing too valuable
>oldman has a sizeable rifle collection
>decide to move to the barn
>open the door waiting to find something
>turns out its almost completly empty outside of a few tools
>all i see that might be valuable is a suitcase so I pick it up
>oldman walks in and sees me
>"Anon, we can get you help. Ive been through this, drinking and stealing wont get rid of the pain you feel. We can put you in rehab and you can be a better person, just trust me. Please."
>i dont listen and instead panic
>I grab the suitcase, swing it around my head and hit him
>i hit him too hard
>hes not breathing
>douchebag friend runs away but I stay and start to sob
>run all the way to apartment
>realize i never let go of the suitcase
>decide to open it
>its full of money, a thousand dollars maybe even two
>underneath is a plastic bag
>inside is a pistol and a photo
>its a little girl and a grown women with a part of the picture cut out, on the back read "for her".
I needed to get this out, Ive never quite felt the same, on one side I got help and am off of drugs but I cant forgive myself for this.
>>684556140
>>684570677
this picture has been saved on my desktop for months
I was actually just about to post it
fuck
>shit soaked life anon
>>684568763
Nah.
>>684570040
>pic
>>684570649
Everyone gets a secret pleasure from resentments, from being the martyr or the victim, and from feeling misunderstood, unappreciated, etc.[...]To undo the ego, one must be willing to abandon this payoff game, with its grandstanding of emotions and repetitive rehashing of data and stories to justify its positions.[...] When the ‘inner juice’ is abandoned, it is replaced by inner peace.
>>684563189
Same
>be me 19
>gf of 2 years leave me for some loser
>roam around small town at 2 am
>its weird to do that here on a weekday
>cop pulls over asks me if im ok
>tell him no, i feel suicidal, my brain doesnt cope with change
>cop talks to me for like 3 hours
>he takes me to my mothers house
>dont really hear form him again
1 year later
>hear cop does some public suicide
>it was the cop who talked me out of my suicide
>cop's motive was because wife was going to leave him
that shit fucked me up, he did exactly what i was going to do. but fucking did it.
>>684570599
Then maybe try distracting yourself with what makes you happy. P.s nice dubs
>>684568558
thanks man. I don't like telling my feelings to anyone (including myself) but this feels pretty good. I appreciate the support
>>684562764
Lucy.
She doesn't even exist though.
>>684554584
This right here. We used to be like brothers.
>>684570938
Don’t call it anything, don’t label it anything. Keep your mind silent. You stay in touch with whatever you are experiencing, and you let go of resisting it. You are going to experience it, you are going to decompress it. You can do that with pain and any kind of suffering. The suffering is due to the resistance. If you keep surrendering to it you will undo it.
You let go of resisting the depression. You got to sit down and go through it. You’re holding a baggage of it. The way to let go of a thing is to sit down and completely surrender to the energy of it. Don’t label it depression. You don’t have depression. Don’t label it lower feelings or any euphemism. Go into the phenomena itself. Don’t resist the phenomena, because there is only so much of it. Its like a compressed energy thing. And as you stay in touch with it and experience it out, it will come to an end. Because it is not unlimited
>>684569048
>>684570690
You better make up for that shit every fucking day, anon.
>>684570690
what happened to him then? that's fucked up anon but atleast you're trying to get better now. that's all you can do for the oldman.
>>684570690
Damn anon thats pretty shitty. Too bad you panicked your life may be far better now if you hadnt
>>684562764
Meagan
>>684562764
Sarah
>>684562764
Kierin
>>684553985
>animalkin
>>684571334
Write down all your faults. Write down all the faults others think you have, even if you think they’re liars. You take responsibility for it all. If you own it all, nobody has any way to attack you. If others attack you, it’s because you’re not owning something. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being stupid and ugly. (Laughter). So we admit our faults, and we stop labeling them faults. We have to get over narcissistic sensitivity. All negative reactions are not caused from outside; it’s how we choose. The way to become bulletproof is to own anything that seems a fault. The way to overcome the ego’s reaction to that is to say, “I’m stupid and ugly. It doesn’t matter; God loves me
>>684570388
>>684570649
>>684570938
>ego
Please stop posting discredited pop psychology bullshit
>>684562764
Dana
Been thinking about suicide a lot lately. I can't tell if my depression is just really bad or if I really have nothing left to live for.
>>684571216
Nothing makes me happy any more. I don't really have anything to live for, but since I don't believe in an afterlife, well... I'm not checking out early because I don't believe there's another life waiting for me.
2 months after mom died, my dad died. My sister got cancer, defeated it, and now it's come back. The only woman I've ever loved is married to another man and only uses me once in a while (monthly-ish) for sex. I'm only really happy around her; literally every other instant is just passing time, waiting for the next time I see her. (And no, she won't leave her husband for me, and if she did, I wouldn't take her, cuz a girl that would do that FOR me would also do that TO me.)
>>684562764
alexandra :(
>>684572068
Likely both, until you find something to live for.
>>684571768
“The ego gets a grim pleasure and satisfaction from suffering and all the non-integrous levels of pride, anger, desire, guilt, shame, and grief. The secret pleasure of suffering is addictive.[...] To stop the mechanism, the pleasure of the payoff has to be identified and willingly surrendered to God. Out of shame, the ego blocks out conscious awareness of its machinations, especially the secretiveness of the game ‘victim’.”
— Dr. David Hawkins, I: Reality and Subjectivity, pg. 244
>>684571753
Then why did god let my Dad try to kill himself
Where was god all the times I did heroin
Why did Kendra and Julia both love god but tear me the fuck up?
Is it my fault?
Of course it is
But god stopped loving me a long time ago
God is only there when I forget about everything and feel nothing
>>684572175
It's like every time I look for purpose or some sort of positive improvement in some aspect of my life, I get disappointed. I thought I was getting better, but I'm just getting worse and worse and I don't know what to do anymore.
>>684557129
>>684567649
>>684568007
>>684570339
>>684570599
>>684572071
Well, that's all the time I'm going to waste on tonight's pity party. I've got a bottle of rum screaming my name, guys. Blackout drunk is better than these feels. Good night.
>>684572068
then continue to find something or someone that'll make you stay anon. try harder each day.
>>684565368
oh shit, I'm shipping tomorrow for the navy. I'll wreck her for yoh 1x anon
>>684572540
This
>>684572590
night man. Enjoy spending some time not feeling.
>>684549490
>>684548907
I love it
>>684572540
>>684572068
depression does this man, just dont go out searching for something to live for, cause it usually will always come to you in some way. just do something you like each day and try to keep doing new things
thats kinda contradictory but i think it makes sense
>>684555720
Whenever I get in a feels mood, I'll seek out a feels-related thread, and I'll usually end up spiraling deeper and deeper until I fall asleep. But this one story just hits me so hard every time I see it, just makes me so damn sad, I feel inspired to try harder in life, to do whatever I can to avoid that level of feels. I don't know what it is, I don't even know if that's true. I just hope it keeps getting posted every once in a while, though I could never bring myself to save it
>>684572184
People hate me” stems from one’s own inner hatreds. “People don’t care about me” stems from one’s narcissistic absorption with one’s happiness and gain instead of others. “I don’t get enough love” stems from not giving love to others.
— Dr. David Hawkins, I: Reality and Subjectivity, pg. 22
>>684570651
You my friend have 15 years of careful planning to do then.
I would say move on, get your life back together, accept that it happened but do not forgive or forget.
Build yourself back up, find a new girlfriend don't mention the past girlfriend or the guy to anyone. Wait till he gets out of jail and give him everything you got but be sure to cover your tracks. Make him more or less dissappear. If you're gonna be messy make sure it's off the grid and clean up after yourself, I would advise an acidic body disposal after your finished. Make sure you wipe all the weapons ditch them somewhere, the ocean is pretty solid.
If there's no body, and no weapons and as long as you have an air tight alibi you'll get away with it.
The alibi is up to you
15 years is way too short for taking away a lifetime don't let him get away with it anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Scj9N_Sk8bQ
Sorry to anyone who doesnt like this music
And sorry to anyone who does like it
Just know there's a stranger out there willing to talk
Willing to listen
>>684572616
I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of pouring all of my effort into things I try to accomplish, and ending up a failure. I'm tired of pouring love into everyone in my life just to be left by friends and SOs alike. I feel like something's wrong with me. These things are so easy for other people and I can't seem to get a fucking grip and do something right for once.
I just want to know what the fuck is wrong with me tbh.
I'm only fucking 16 and a sophomore in HS, prom was this weekend and I didn't even get a text or hear anything from my friends, so I sat in my room all weekend playing video games.
I've been suicidal for like 2 years now, used to go to therapy and was on meds. Lied to my mom, my therapist, and my gf that I was ok, and went off the meds and don't go to therapy
I don't feel really suicidal, but just empty inside, getting a couple of hours of sleep because I stay up too late to delay tomorrow.
School is so fucking draining, my grades are dropping, I lost complete interest in all classes and in Academic Decathlon which I'm a part of.
Only things I have are video games, music, reddit, youtube, and 4chan.
If this is what life is like I'll have killed myself before 20.
>>684572184
Yes there are a lot of people with "Dr" before their name who like to promulgate the ideas of a man who didn't understand the scientific method and thought literally everything had to do with the penis
This is a REALLY long one that is OC by me.
>TL:DR a very close friend to me killed himself in January of last year.
For anyone who has ever though of committing suicide, have a read at this to see what it is like from the perspective of those around you.
>>684572958
>>684572923
Read that, Anon
>>684572521
There are things in life that are out of your control. If you fight this, you will only find a long road of frustration and emptiness.
>>684572540
Expect nothing then. Where do your expectations come from? What tells you what YOUR life is about? Just go day by day, man.
>>684572923
Dont worry
I was like you 4-5 years ago
It gets better
I promise you
Just keep fighting
>>684549945
you makes me cringe.
>>684572784
I don't enjoy anything anymore, though. Like, I know what my interests were in the past and the things that got me excited. However, now anything I enjoyed seems like an endless task that I have to force myself to complete.
All these Thai commercials, man.
>>684562764
Emily. Caught fucking another guy the day I was going to propose.
>>684572814
“With humility comes the willingness to stop trying to control or change other people or life situations or events ostensibly ‘for their own good’. To be a committed spiritual seeker, it is necessary to relinquish the desire to be ‘right’ or of imaginary value to society. In fact, nobody’s ego or belief systems are of any value to society at all. The world is neither good nor bad nor defective, nor is it in need of help or modification because its appearance is only a projection of one’s own mind. No such world exists.”
— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of Th
>>684549945
I was like that. Doing jiu jitsu helps immensely in simply making me feel like not such a lazy piece of shit.
>>684573363
thats the way she goes, bubs.
>be me homeschooled
>never had any childhood friends
>hung out with my family my age
>always felt alienated as they went to public school and were closer to eachother than to me
>I was just kinda there
>few years later stop seeing them
>still homeschooled still no friends not even family
>start being cynical
>feel empty inside
>no longer want friends, content alone
>no longer content alone, want to be alone now
>social anxiety
>hate most people
>19 now, havent had a "friend" in 10 years
>over whelming feeling of emptiness
>still don't want friends
Yeah guys, I'm calling it for the night. See y'all later.
>>684572184
>the pleasure of the payoff has to be identified and willingly surrendered to God.
Thanks, "doc"
>>6845731Everybody has been telling me that, but I seriously doubt it. I had good chances of playing college lacrosse, but I've had so many concussions that I can't play anything.
The damage is physical and mental at this point, and that's one of the most scary things for me.
>>684573363
Lucky you. I mean it. Better then than a couple years down the road.
>>684572958
fuck man i am so sorry
>>684571418
Looking back if I were to listen to him I may be in a better place now, I thought about shooting myself with his pistol but instead I wanted to do something in his honor, first off I got a picture of my gf and wrote "for her" on the back and second I had to do something with all that money. Obviously the first thoughts charity, but I thought hed want better. So I used it on rehab, rent and decided that one day I'd somehow pay him back. Even after all that there was still quite a bit of money, so I thought about his wife, she didnt know how he died. So I found a ring with two diamonds on it and said it was too her from oldman. She didnt know what I meant but she seemed grateful. With the small amount I had left I just gave it out to people I saw and told them to have fun.
>>684562764
Lily
>>684572923
I know how that goes anon i was the exact same way only a few years ago, tried killing myself once when I was about 17, just dont do it man theres so much you might find later in life (also maybe dont say youre only 16 on here you might get banned)
>>684573185
ive become the exact same, shit youused to love becomes a chore or a horrible pain
just find a video game or something to do, watch a tv series you might be interested in
if you havent already, watch the sopranos, theres a fair bit of talk in there about depression and anxiety
gnite anons. hang in there yall.
>>684573011
I did, and fuck was that a rollercoaster.
I'm just afraid I'll end up like v
>>684573808
gotem
>>684573634
you play csgo anon? i will be your friend
>>684562764
No one.
I'm that pathetic.
think im done venting
night anons
get some sleep
>>684570690
Anon I'm an addict too and this kind of shit hits home so hard. I love you /bro just make those living amends
>>684562764
Erika
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jzu3Ihyq50c
>>684572917
i understand anon. i know it's hard but it gets better okay? stay strong
>>684574104
Me neither.
You're not alone.
>>684562764
Mom
Do you anons like tomorrow font screencaps, or yotsuba?
>>684574345
too close to home, anon.
>>684574116
Just dont fuck up like I did, you cant make up for it.
>>684574345
kinky
>>684573835
I've been trying to distract myself with shows and games, and it usually works. However, these past few days I can't focus. My thoughts just keep shifting to suicide.
>>684574599
play csgo comp with me
its the least i can do, 90 minutes of games
>>684574599
>>684572958
Same thing I told the other anon, read this first before you even think about something like that
>>684574253
Thank you. I'll try to remember that and convince myself of it.
>>684572923
fuck anon i'll share my story for you /b/ro
>be me sophomore year (19 now)
>one of very few who drive
>have tons of friends
>hey anon can I get a ride
>hey anon take me home
>hey an-fucking not some bus service
>quickly loose all friends and the pretend they never talked to me
>grades are shit but passing
>junior year, new set of friends
>not the type of guy to show emotiona
>always helping others out, usually by being funny
>spend most of my time at school with friends
>ponder why I'm so closed off
>realized no friends ever ask how i am
>senior year
>down to less than five solid friends
>grades continue to be shit I hate school
>friends flake out on everything always busy
>always they one funny guy who's phlegmatic so everyone thinks I look sad but know I'm ok
>be so closed off that I would be depressed but literally no one could tell
>have five classes, only (literally verbally) talk to no more than two people the rest of the year
>7/10 looking guy
>no idea what the fuck I'm doing wrong
>had gf's but all disposable who never really cared about me
>fastforward to now
>I'm leaving for the navy to study submarine eletronics (8 points away from nuke school so I'm pretty smart)
>literally only have one friend who gives a fuck and will miss me
it gets better m8 if school taught me anything it's that my prejudice judgement skills are one point and that education that broad and vague is useless
it gets so much better once you get a job and start living for yourself. it's cheesy man but the day you realize you need to love yourself you will enjoy life
>>684561278
Seems you got your life together. They didn't. As the saying goes, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. They're no more worth your time or thoughts than you allow them to be, they're not a part of you and they don't define you.
I'm such a failure of a son.
>>684573934
Nah I'm a filthy console gamer, thank you though anon :)
>>684573784
>I wanted to do something in his honor
>So I picked a picture of my shitty girlfriend in remembrance of his
>Then I spent the thousands of dollars on myself, a ring for the wife of the man I killed, and random idiots.
You're fantastic.
>>684574813
>8 points away from nuke school so I'm pretty smart
I know plenty of Navy nukes that are dumb as a box of rocks
