I rented a cat for the week and i dont know anything about it. I rented it to impress this fat girl the keeps walking by my house. Im trying to get her in the house so i can watch her eat cereal
How the fuck do you rent a cat?
>>684360191
I love this place sometimes
>>684360492
That's your question about this?
>>684360966
Yeah i want to rent a cat also.
>>684360191
How the fuck do you rent a cat? Did you ask your neighbor to watch his or is there some shady underground cat burglar ring going around renting out stolen cats?
>>684361312
That is perfect. Steal peoples cats and then rent them out to lonely people. There is a huge gap in the market for this sort of thing.
>>684360492
>>684361124
>>684361312
Have you guys never rented a cat? It's in the gray zone of the law but as long as you keep under the radar you should be fine
The county animal distribution center will rent you an example of a cat for 7
>>684361754
>for 7
wot
>fat girl
Unless you're going to deep-fry it, I'd say you should switch the bait.
>be me
>overweight girl
>decide i'm going to lose weight
>start going for walks once a day
>walk down the same street every day
>start to notice something weird about one house
>there is a man at the window that keeps watching me
>one day he is holding a cat up to the window
>wtf is going on
>the next day there is a box of cereal on his front step
>i stop and look at it
>all of a sudden the man bursts through the front door
>he is holding the cat again
>"COME INSIDE PLEASE I ONLY HAVE IT FOR 3 MORE DAYS"
>scream and run down the street while the man chases me
>has his cat under one arm and a bowl in his other hand
>eventually lose him and never walk down that street again
Fuck fuck fuck! I did this and it stopped moving?? I can't afford to lose my deposit! Fuck!
>>684362597
>be cat
>some faggot has rented me out and is now taking care of me for the next few days
>keeps mumbling about cereal and some fat chick
>he just sits at the window for hours at a time with a box of corn flakes and cheeros near by
>can't complain, feeds me enough and doesn't bother me
>i pissed on his carpet
>he doesn't seem to notice
>that was 3 days ago
>he keeps walking over rugs with my piss on them
>he starts to smell less like doritos and more like my piss
>he gets antsy as my rental period is about to expire
>his forehead veins bulge as he looks out the window now
>i want out but free meal tho
>>684362597
xD dead
>>684360191
>Rented a cat...
>>684363216
>be cereal
>waiting in store to be bought
>fat dude comes in and purchases me
>takes me home
>keeps me at the front door for some reason
>here him talking to his cat about some fat chick
>he doesn't even eat me
>what is my purpose
>next morning he puts me at his front step
>a fat girl stops and looks at me
>try to warn her
>too late
>man bursts through the door and the chase begins
>i just want to be eaten
>meals not feels
>i didn't ask for this
Im just going to return the cat. The fat girl came by again and the cat didn't phase her. I might try to shave it and bring her the fur as a gift? Girls like gifts right?
>>684360191
haha what
>>684364043
You ain't right, I tell ya hwat.
>>684364024
i'd eat you, cereal
cats don't eat cereal you moran
Im going to the pawn shop to get my movie out of pawn. My educational observer suggested that if i want to meet people I should share a common interest. She's going to enjoy this. I have positioned a spoon near the house chair so she gets the idea.
>be house
>some fat dude sits in me talking about some whale and cereal
>cleanmeyoulazyshit.jpg
>brings a cat home
>what the shit man
>cat pees in me, dude doesn't notice
>dude walks outside one day and leaves a box of cereal on the front step
>I dont need cereal I need home improvement you fag
>whale walks by
>dude bursts out of me holding a cat and a bowl of cereal covered in Dorito crumbs
>yells something about three more days
>whale waddles away and he chases after her
>cat scratches his face and runs away as she waddles around the corner
>he grabs the cat and goes inside to play CS:GO
The fucker doesn't take out his piss bottles until like 3AM
>>684366622
What time do you take out YOUR pissbottles?
>Piss bottles
