Can we talk about life ?
I can listen, so please lets talk. How have you been ?
Life is sad. Lost my job 3 weeks ago. Now working temp night shifts for minimum wage. I rarely get ill. Now I'm beyond tired and have a stinking cold that's preventing me from sleeping. I'm working 6 nights a week and I'm not earning enough money - I'm about 200 a month in the hole. But the people I'm working with are awesome and make the experience bearable. I've learned all their names and a little about nearly all of them. So this week there is likely to be no more work as the regular staff return from sickness and holiday. It's going to be horrible to leave a second job in such short time.
im 48 jobless
3000 euros in debt
owe 3 rent
fridge is almost empty
have wife and child
no improvement in sight
so fuck you all...and your pussy ass problems..get some real problems
Don't do it. Sexuality is who you choose to be with and isn't the polarised construct the deniers espouse. Relationships should always be respectful - be with who you want to and be happy.
Been toying around with the idea of killing myself for a little while now. No real reason to live. Not depressed or sad or anything, life is just boring, had no meaning. Something about dying seems soothing though. Enjoying the momentary bliss as you await deaths sweet embrace. End my suffering
I have struggled with mental illness my whole life, I hear voices, my thoughts are scrambled and sometimes I don't know what is real anymore, I'll probably never have a meaningful relationship since I want to be nobody's burden and I'm slowly waiting to die before things get worse
im failed a class or two, gonna take the final anyway incase i didnt, no job, chuld support, been blackmailed and abused by woman i owe child support to, probably blacklisted or too anxious from the stostockholme/agoraphobia that abuse left me with. prolly gonna die soon. life isnt that bad, but the people suck.
you know whats good though? went to pc cafe to let off some steam. bought three hours and at the end of my three there were suddenly 15 hrs credited to my account. i mean, i knew i was good but i didnt know i was that good.
>inb4 dead beat blah blah.
i said it was blackmail. shared too much with the wrong person. turned out to be a feminist with an agenda that could copulate my style of living and then feed off of it. angler fish + praying mantis.
You guys are some serious fucking pussies. Life's easy. Develop people skills, learn a little psychology, get a sales job or something with commission instead of shitty hourly wages, and make some money for yourself. From there, you'll have clothes, food, a home, and a girl or boy to fuck and love. Being a crying bitch isn't solving any of your guys' problems.
In and out of Mental Health Units.
Stay in my house all day watching the hours go by.
No friends, rarely talk with family.
Depression is eating my life away.
I want to die, I want to die.
But I'm so scared of the pain.
So I go for overdosing, but they hid all my pills.
I can't do this anymore, I keep bitching and nothing works.
More meds and more meds and more meds and more meds. When will this cycle end?
Sorry, on a bit of a tangent right there. I'm doing alright, you?
I had to leave one of my now ex friends because he was scaring me and causing me to relapse into depression. I'm terrified that he's killed himself since we broke contact a few days ago and my heart speeds up whenever I get a call or text, because I'm afraid it's him or his parents. I just want him to be okay and get the help he needs, then maybe we can talk again.
fuck you faggot..i hit the fucking streets every fucking day looking for anything..so its a fucking crime to steal wifi from neighbor and relax a little on this shithole that i love?? well fuck you then..fuck you ..you aint no /b/rother of mine...you ruined 4chan
29, carpenter, farmer, broke up with gfa few months ago, finally got her out of the house a couple days ago. Got a couple new girls, I live in a beautiful town in norcal.I'm handsome, volunteer in my community. ..
Well I'm in the air force and its great besides the tech school. I'm learning Korean for the air force at 1000mph and its fucking stressful. I had the best night in 5+ years last night tbough because I actually have friends again. I want to ask a girl out on a date but I'm so goddamn nervous that I get shaky .
It changes depending on what I'm doing, when I'm just sitting alone (like right now) they remind me how worthless I am and how meaningless my life will be, if I try to talk to someone they remind me no one cares what I have to say and that I'm better off being an observer since I'm not worth acting upon others.
Through the years I try to distract myself from them but when things go bad I just start crying and I don't really know why.
My biggest problem is I have begun to have nihilistic thoughts where I am convinced nothing exists outside of my head, therefore the world I "exist" in is my own personal hell
I started reading up on courses I need to become an engineer, but it's all through distance and I feel my grades won't be good enough.
I could go another way around and read up on merit courses and apply next year and get in that way, but that's one more year I have to live with my parents. It's not bad with my parents, but I don't want to stay forever.
Struggling with university and anxiety, living at home, had to cut back hours at my well paying job, my parents don't know [spoiler] that I'm a fag and have been with my partner for 10 months now.
My son died a few months ago, because alergic reaction to medicines. My wife is having psycic problems, and we fight all the Time. Sex with her is boring, because she is in a Church where they Learn they are really Married to Jesus. How do i survive? I use drugs in periods, and buing love from prostitutes when i can Afford it, about 2 times a year. After my son died, i do not have the energi to fight to make a better life, to find back with my wife. I do not complain, i make my way around problems. What i should do to be more happy, is to divorce.
Found out that my fiancée fucked another guy while we were dating, and kept in touch with him until shot before I proposed to her.
I found a shitload of lies from her, and I don't fucking know what to do. I feel insecure, bros. I love this girl with all my heart, and I've also done some mistakes before and during our relationship, but something tells me to get the fuck out while I still have time.
what has been your biggest act of defiance, if you dont my asking? things like that always seem like they might have something to do with you giving power over yourself to an institution that you didnt fully understand. trust is an institution, imo.
those voices, are they voices you know or maybe do they sound stereotypical of a certain kind of person? like a race?
keep positive guys,,it does get better .just keep fighting it...heres a beach to cheer you up...its where i go to think about shit
Wow dude, I feel for you. How old was your son, by the way?
I've dated a church girl once, it really sucks. Get out of this thing you call "life" and go live for real, bro. Start new relationships, meet new people. You seems like a really nice guy, I hope things turn better for you.
dude, gtfo. i dont want to use punctuation or grammar just you can identify the sentiment in your own bias. that dude is going to be around forever and she knows how to get away with it. probably knows a lot of different ways to too.
It's my own voice, sometimes I have dreams where it is my father telling me those things, I was pampered and had an amazing family as a kid, I don't know why I demonize my father in my dreams.
I've never felt like I've had a choice, every day is just trying meet other people's expectations but I have no goal I strive to achieve.
I think my biggest act of defiance is merely trying to block out the noise, I have some friends, none of them know what I go through everyday but being with them helps me forget, being alone is torture
There isn't even cool technology yet, everything is boring and everything I hear from people around me is "you have to do this and that to survive" and then they start crying about how their life is hard
Sell everything you own, try find one of the lost treasures in the world. Go Colombia be a drug lord. Start pimping prostitutes, to Get the attityde start using cocaine and buy a shotgun. Stop crying about your fucking life, because you try liv up to Ottersen exptatioms to you. Life is a fucking game, begin playing
heres my balcony view for your beach to my beach
Everyone will have you think they figured out how to be happy but in reality everyone is lost and pretends to know the way out in order to get the respect and admiration of others
I am obsessive compulsive, and once I realised that whatever is going to happen, is fucking going to happen, I simply got, for want of a better term, better at life. You just got to go for things, no matter how impossible it may seem.
>You just got to go for things, no matter how impossible it may seem.
and when you crash and burn because you couldnt do it..what then? you feel like a useless piece of crap..and tired from trying..
- General acceptance of life/happines: Slightly Bad. Life doesn't seem promising.
· studying & working
· changed to a better job.
- Wizard trainee +25 virgin.
+ met milf, older than me.
· she has a daughter.
+ first kiss.
- she sais it's not gonna work.
- Mild depression.
· changed job. Still studying.
- almost a Wizard now.
+ get in touch with milf
+ make out. No longer able to be a Wizard.
- She's Clairvoyant. The more I get into the relationship, the crazy she turns out to be.
- many temporary breakups. I almost live at her place.
+ happiness comes and goes. A couple of years go by. Breaking up and getting toghether.
+ very good relationship with daughter. Love her like I was her father.
- miss many signs that warned me.
- She get's practically evicted.
+ got a minor degree.
· bring her and her daughter to my place.
- months go by and she acuses me of cheating.
- She hits me. I end relationship, they leave my place.
- She was pregnant.
- miss pregnancy. She evades me and is still mad.
· She cools down, get in touch, help her through the last months of pregnancy.
+ my son is born. I love him.
- She tries to hit me again.
> fast forward
- having hardtimes every time I try to visit my son. She still looking for trouble.
- My son's half-sister kind of hates me. I miss her.
+ have a job, a minor, a comfy home, good health.
- Only woman I've ever been with. I'm both bad at this subject and also not able to become a Wizard any longer.
- Don't know what to do with my life.
- Have a crushing feeling that I won't be able to step out and be happy again.
- Life, still, doesn't seem promising.
life? life sucks because of the "system". things could be Made better for everyone, but no, Many thousands of years ago few smart ones decided they would amass unimaginable wealth to secure their heritage throughout the ages. that ideal has carried on from them to every culture developed in humanity. Now only the top elite suffer no strain of every day life except for their own retarded social dramas.
I Want to kill Everyone unless we are all going to get along.....
were those expectations always there or did they manifest after maybe some odd event?
i dont have voices but i do recognize gestures like shrugs and deep exhales, and they bug the shit out of me. its like everyones whining or complaining all the time meanwhile ive got aches and pains 24/7, ive been through a ton just so some slut can get government susubsidies.
i recognize your pain, not as my own, but ive seen psychologists/psychiatrists agitate people for simply the sake of being able to cite a reason within their means to diagnosis and i cant help but think that maybe somewhere in your life you have a woman or some banked trust where you seemed defiant and have taken it on yourself to fix what they havent considered worthwhile. we genrally cone in a part of the pack and leave alone. some people like to force that as a prerogative to living an existence such as these.
I don't use meds... suffering my illness makes me feel like I can maybe overcome it or at least exist with it, I avoid being branded mentally ill but sometimes I yearn for help I'm too stubborn to ask anyone though
I cannot remember a time where I felt like the master of my own destiny
I have never understood romance, I have felt sexual attraction to others since it's a physiological response but I have never felt the urge to sacrifice my selfish way of life to someone else, for lack of a better word I have never "fallen in love" it bothers me to no end since reproduction appears to be one of the driving forces to people's live, so without that what is left for me?
All the edgy suicide seekers in this thread need to grow a pair. If you really lack a reason to live, create a reason. Futility will always exist, you just have to do something worth the 80 odd years you have to be sentient. Make lives better for everyone else. There's your purpose, so get to work faggots.
At least you fucking tried, you know? Failure is better than not attempting anything in the first place.
I mean, if you are already set up, fine. don;t take chances. But if you are bottom of the barrel, then what the fuck do you honestly have to lose? Do anything that comes your way, and I guarantee something will come your way that you'll be like 'holy shit, how the fuck did I not know about this before'.
To reiterate, I almost enjoy the suffering the voices cause me since I'm afraid life will feel even less real without them, it sounds completely nonsensical but I almost feel like they are there to keep me safe
miserable. first girl i like after i broke up with my gf of 5 years acts super uninterested.
but we were on 2 dates already and we kissed both times.
i'm so confused and i feel super beta to start talking to her all the time, when all she does is answer with short messages, hours after i sent them.
god, i'm too old for this teenage drama, but i somehow really like her.
plan on meeting her again on monday, this time i won't hold back.
I'm enjoying life, always have. But I have doubts about my future.
I'm 25. being to be 26 in July. I barely made it out of highschool, haven't went to college.
I never had motivation for anything in life until recently.
Ever since highschool I've just been rusting away, playing MMOs. Everything important I've ever learned is pretty much not in my head anymore.
Never had a stable job, haven't had any job in a couple months. I want to move on, job something going. But in my situation I just don't know where to start.
There's someone I like, a lot. And I have 4 years to get all my shit together or else she's basically unattainable. She's my fuel to move forward, I just hope it keeps me going.
Even in this situation, I'm not suicidal. Never have been. The world is the only certain thing I know.
If you're schizo you ABSOLUTELY NEED meds. Schizo is DEGENERATIVE, meaning without meds your brain will physically degrade and the damage will become more and more severe as you age. This is fact -- you can see it in MRI studies.
That said, if you have something like depression/bipolar/neurosis, especially if med resistant, I completely understand the various desires not to take meds. More recently I've had the urge to do so because though many of my external symptoms have been controlled by meds, a lot of internal symptoms like lack of energy, anhedonia, etc. are not, and the thought that I have is that somehow my illness is no longer physically *real*. So if I stopped taking my meds, I would start having tremors and other noticeable problems again and really feel the reality of the situation and I would no longer be in doubt that something was wrong, and no longer stress and blame myself for not enjoying things.
There are many other reasons why people want to stop taking meds, but that's a recent one I've had. But in all cases, you really should resist the urge without a careful cost-benefit analysis with your doctor (recently I went off one because the increase in sleepiness lowered my quality of life -- losing an extra 2 hours a day pissed me off more than the unnoticeable gain in eye contact my doc said I had.)
Honestly man, the only reason for life is what you yourself make of it. I mean, life itself is an incredibly unique and complex thing, and really, we with conscious thought are a fucking anomaly. Interpret that shit the way you want.
You wanna play vidya all day long? Fucking go for it. If you seriously enjoy whatever the fuck it is during your spare time, then fucking do it. That right there, the thing making you happy, is your reason for life. Be happy you can experience it, when so many millions of other can't.
Also, nice dubs.
Thanks. I can't play anything else than 8 bit games league and hearthstone because my laptop is shit and I have no money. Have you any idea how it is to play league with 7 fps?
Being severely depressed is the worst time to make a yes/no decision on a long-term relationship. Obviously you think that being free will help you -- ask to take a break -- a short-term separation. My ex's parents did that for 2 years when she was a kid -- moved to separate states because the wife's neurosis was too much for the husband to live with -- and it basically saved their marriage. I wish my parents had the state of mind to do the same instead of my mother having the "Fuck this, I'm out" attitude from her mid-life severe depression (she wouldn't accept child support payments, even though she basically had us living in poverty, because she was so intent of getting away from her previous life -- our father was in no way abusive, she was just insanely neurotic and wanted a clean break and to never speak to him again).
Jesus dude fucking leave her, you're pathetic if you let her get away with that and end up staying with her. It's like a free pass to do that shit again. She fucked up not you, and you shouldn't have to put up with all of that. Get out man.
Fuck yes man. My computer is fucked, all I play is emulated SNES games and old PC games, like The Longest Journey.
The internet where I live barely gives 300kbps download max, and I can only just play CS 1.6, anything else lags to all hell.
>3.4k USD in acc.
>employed, but bored as fuck
>in a flat with an everweight flatmate, doesnt clean much but pays her half and we fucked once.
>two friends that i see every half a year, otherwise alone
>the only coversations i have are 10-20 min. talk at the end of my shift with coworkers.
>raging paranoia, to the point i dont eat anything i didnt make myself for fear of someone poisoning me, i know stupid but thats paranoia for you
But fuck me I think Iam happy, well Iam certainly not unhappy. Just living a very mediocre life devoid of any adventure.
>mistakes before and during our relationship
Like cheating? If so, maybe if you think you can trust yourself from now on you can trust her, or at least get over shit.
It's possible to get over these things in a relationship. If you had cheated before, that would be especially true, since in your heart you can't hold the moral high ground.
If you're both under 30, the once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater doesn't necessarily hold, though general immaturity, while cute, can still get annoying sometimes (but be reflective - you're probably immature too).
I'm a fuck up, my parents left me when I was 12 years old. I've been in foster care moving from place to place. I never knew what settling down feels like or a place I can actually call home. I am now 19, after years of being sexually abused by two of my "dads" that watched over me, I needed to run but didn't. I waited one night until they fell asleep, I got my butterfly knife (my father gave me before leaving me) walked into their bedroom got on top of their bed woke on up while the other had his back turned. he opens his eyes, and I smile then quickly stabbed him in the throat repeatedly. it was to a point where I broke my wrist, the other guy heard what was going on but before he got up I stabbed him in the rib cage which caused my knife to break off right then and there. I never told anyone about this because I don't have anyone. thanks for your time, anon
I have neurosis and ocd, I have shown symptoms of schizophrenia but it was ruled out, it has been years since I have been to a psychiatrist simply because I'm afraid, I intend to live my life normally as most of my symptoms I can ignore but are more acute under stress
/b/ how do you motivate yourself to keep going and keep on pushing yourself?
I just can't seem to push myself when i am alone, it's like when i get in the door of my house every plan i had just falls apart.
awkward introvert studying abroad. Have not made a single friend in 5 months. Sometimes I go weeks without saying more than a few sentences to another human being. People in my life have this expectation that taking a semester abroad during college is a wildly fun, transformative experience-- that I'll come back a better, more mature person. I let them down.
I hate myself. I hate where I live .I hate being lonely all the time. I hate that I have been alone for so long I can't remember how to make friends.
I can't resent people for not wanting to be around me. I certainly wouldn't.
I am an introvert aswell, fuck i think half this weeb filled site is.
where are you studying?
did you choose it yourself? why?
i have come to terms with being an introvert because i realized that maybe i just don't want to be around people, and that's okay. thoughts?
Whatever the fuck I want. I recognize that the world is fucked beyond repair, but I do not give one fuck, nor will I.
I have to live, sure, but I have a good job (graphic design) that I fucking enjoy. I wanted a job like that, so I went and fucking got it. I've been a stoner for ten years, and I still completed a four year apprenticeship, because I wanted something. And I was going to have it.
I will continue to do, whatever the fuck that makes me happy. That is my purpose in life. And so should you. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.
Dont kill yourself because you might be a fag. What the fuck does it matter if you like boys instead of girl?
Unless you're a pedo, which seems quite likely considering this is /b/.
Recently, I've had lots of homicidal thoughts and fantasies (usually about people I don't know). I know I'm not psychopathic (i have feelings and a cat who I love very much) but these thoughts become more frequent. I am Afraid to tell people though. Wat do?
studying in northeast UK, environmental science with a concentration in GIS.
Believe me, I've long since come to terms with my introversion. But humans are highly social animals. We need interaction; intimacy at some level. There's a reason that solitary confinement is the worst form of imprisonment: starving a human of social interaction is traumatizing.
I don't mean to compare my situation with solitary confinement-- I mean that extended isolation, even for an introvert, is bad news.
Then leave. Go to fucking Syria and fuck up some ISIS motherfuckers. Then continue on. Go to some poor corrupted country, raise your AK's and start their revoultion. There is always someone who needs two anons with nothing to live for.
I'm depressed every day, all day. I do laugh sometimes but I never stay happy for like 10 minutes or more. My life sucks, one of my hobbies is gaming and even that one hobby doesn't make me happy bcs my PC is a potato... I wish you guys all luck in this world and I hope we all meet someday
i drift between studying hard and doing a load of drugs and partying, and i feel good at times but overall I feel like my life is just full of ups and downs and I'd rather disappear on the internet which is a form of stability.
Maybe I need a girl, I think I'm a decently attractive guy and I have girls who I get attached to. But I think the introvert in me stops me pursuing anything meaningful. I also have only had sex once and i'm 19 going to university next year
>tfw you will never train a panther to give amazing blowjobs with your thumb
Actually been pretty good. Two week, 4 state trip I planned with best friend turned out to bust after the first day, but I think it was for the better. Only a month left and I get to move out of my parent's place to rent a house with my two other good friends, and continue college. Gonna be fun other than the rent. Hoping to find someone there as I haven't met/dated a girl interesting to me since my last semester of senior year.
>Be me at party
>friend introduces me to a new person
>friendly looking girl, cute
>she starts talking about something
>I stop caring and start thinking about how fun it would be to splash my drink in her face then continue to beat her with the drink glass
>the action keeps crossing my mind for the rest of the night
>talking with friend
>friend reacts to something and says "that's not right man." followed by a small quiet chuckle
>fucking cunt always does this
>suddenly I really wish I could beat his head in with a baseball bat
>two minutes later the feeling passes
I'm not gonna go with the whole "be a man, leave the whore, dont be a fucking cucked beta" thing like many others would.
But you already know what to do. This feeling will never go away. In 50 years, you will still feel it deep down when you look at her.
idk I was feelin kinda down and out lately but that bear has it way worse than me. I'm aight niggas.
There's something called Unwanted Thoughts Syndrome, which is a type of OCD. Basically you're no danger to yourself or others, and a psych would treat it like any other OCD (using CBT/conditioning strategies). If the thoughts aren't affecting your day-to-day or concentration, then for now your goal is to not reinforce the thoughts by entertaining them. If they are affecting your lifestyle, however, then you should see a shrink to get treatment.
History & Geography AS resit (Got two Bs and two D's for their exams)
Doing History, Law and Geography A2 but not don't want to do anything with them, just thought I best get the qualification while it's there.
What about you?
that pic should be the other way round, bears outclass humans in every way, the only way humans got to where they are is by hurling rocks and making weapons because theyre too weak to fight with their own hands
behind a computer screen.
we are all just a bunch of socially retarded faggot weebsters out in the real world.
but i appreaciate the sentiment, and i love you right back you fucking faggot.
I had a nice day today, I was raped by my mother. my father decided to kill himself, so now me and mommy lives on the streety
Going to work fulltime next year and possibly do economics or something at night school before Uni, unsure yet.
Wish I had gone you way anon and done either Engi, Maths or a Science
Yeah I know. But I'm not like that at all outside of my computer, I have great job, make money, have a great gf, a great family, a lot of friends, many of the things people in this thread probably wish they had.
But still I chose to sit here and talk with you guys.
Where should I start. I'm a poor man living in nordic countries and I've become a Muslim. I've known a girl for years and been in a relationship with her for 6 months now. The problem is that she lives in Turkey. I am trying to collect money but it's very hard to find jobs here. Eventually I would love to move to Turkey or some country that doesn't see me as alien or a terrorist. I love her but still need to see what her family will think about me, she hasn't told them in fear of losing me, but we will get to that and it stresses me because of how much I care about this girl.
I'm tired, anon. (I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of seeing the same depressed face in the mirror, i'm tired of getting up in the morning, i'm tired of being me.) I'm just tired, anon. That's all.
Go through each day looking at civilization, admiring nature, seeing how civilization has destroyed the natural order; watch as everyone revels in ignorance as they destroy the planet.
Watch as normal individuals lack essential intelligence and are compelled to resort to violence when the situation ultimately does not require any form of aggression. Watch the arguments which influence irritation in the children who feel the need to senselessly talk.
See employees spite their job; actively go out of their way to avoid making something good of what they do. Fail to understand why people are incapable of simply focusing on their job and even attempting to perfect their work, if even only for self satisfaction.
Live in a society which is built on over consumerism leading to panics over leadership, money, and distrust. When obesity exists with the prosperous societies and strife in the 3rd world.
Live each day wishing you would die in some horrific accident. contemplate suicide each time you consider what the future holds for anyone living on a dying planet with an ever growing, gluttonous species.
>mfw /b/ isnt cancer; the worlld is
>mfw my life feels like a burden
>mfw I want to fall asleep and never wake
>20 year old guy living in england
>Live in a shitty backwater town
>On the dole. (Made redundant in january)
>Live with parents
>Want to no longer live with parents
>Been looking for work for the past few months (got made redundant in january)
>Consider myself 5/10 in looks and personality, whatever
>Play vidiya most days
>idk why the fuck im greentexting this
Any advice niggers?
Pic related: Its how I feel most days at the minute.
why do you wanna move to turkey? education is free. you won the national lottery, so fucking what if your skin colour is different. act like a fin and start learning shit and becomming something.
your life right now is easy mode, take advantage of that.
Choice are throw you CV in anywhere and everywhere you can wether it be part time, fulltime or apprenticeship.
Worst case senario for any white British male is bulok up over the space of a month and work out then join the armed forces.
I know, Finns have it extra easy. But my people are depressing as fuck. You know how you say "Hey" to your neighbour? If you do that here you will probably instantly be judged and looked at weirdly. It's a country of autism. And I've heard good things about turkish people, they are welcoming to their new brothers. I am a emotional person unfortunately and there's nothing I want more than just to live with my girl.
Thinking of 4chan always makes me happy, this is my home away from home when I need a break from real life.
I'm 32, male, from Sweden, I work in the sales department of a small company.
Where are you from and what do you do?
Maybe more important, what do you want to do instead or change about your life?
Are you an ethnic finn? In which case snap out of the Muslim shit.
I'm a Brit and went to Turkey for a few weeks and not to shit on you some are nice, but the majority are manipulative as fuck, there is something seriously wrong with the culture, especially the men.
How can this /b/? What great news. Remember, anything you can do at all get better with practice. So, I encourage you to work on getting her to multiple orgasms and feeling safe, desired and desirable.
I was born a Finn, I find Islam much more logical than christianity imo, and I've always believed that there must be some sort of creator for everything. By manipulative what do you mean?
I've been wondering lately if I have some disease that destroys my mind. Everyday it feels like I'm just more trapped inside of my own head and watching the world around me. I'm losing touch with reality and I'm scared that one day I will just be completely gone.
Im a Hexer
No, for real, my grandfather was in Hexen Commando, the special group that was created in occupied Poland. The state didn`t survived but well, someone have to do this.
Life's shit right now. College is going okay, I have a decent major and decent grades, but I don't feel like I'm truly living, just going through the motions. I had a break up yesterday with my girlfriend of 5 years. The depression sets in every now and then, but I've practically given up on trying to kill myself (last attempt was 3 years ago). I just want something to change. Like maybe some kind of tragedy happens where I can help some kind of way or die trying to.
Someone suicidal come to my school, shoot it up, shoot me in the leg (non-fatally), then let me take you down.
>I was born a Finn
So are you Ethnically Finish, are your parents and grandparents Finish
>I find Islam much more logical than christianity imo
Islam is shit tier mate, if you're going to go for a religion as a basis for conformt, don'tgo for one that condones paedophilla and beheading for the prophet, go for a bit of paganism or Orthodoxy as a Finn.
>By manipulative what do you mean
That they will fuck you over if it benefits them and are bred to use people.
>22 years old
>no social skills
>just browsing /b/, /g/, reddit entire days
>got a shitty job
>no money because everything goes to my parents
>thinking of ending this
I have no problems in life that aren't my own, and I'm not lonely enough yet to start nit picking little problems and exaggerating to a more convenient narrative... Maybe when im out of bud, sounds stimulating.
It is not, its kinda annoying, the fear is something consistent so you dont exatcly feel scared per se, i dont know hot to explain it, it just became part of your life you dont really think about.
Like when im out walking i make wide turns, so i can look behind me, when i walk past a car a stole a glance to the side mirror, i cant take a compliment because im always finding ways how to make it a hidden mockery of me, I lock myself in my room when i go to bed and make absolutely sure the door is indeed locked even though i checked it 5 times already, i always take different routes to and from work, irregulary change the shops i go to, i lie a lot, like about almost everithing or at least change all details in a story so nobody can make predictions about my future actions, places i will be, etc etc.
But it is kinda useful in my work, i work in the, the, fuck, the place full of VLTs for gamblers dont know the owrd in eng., they are addicted and im givving them money so being paranoid is handy because im always sure i did everithing right. But its a little stresfull doing 12hours shifts with that in my mind want to rob me at all times, and the fucking drunks a have to throw out, I started hating people who drinks since i started working there, but on the other hand most of the time I just stand/sit there smoking waiting for someone to win something so i can walk the ten steps to give them money and return back and bitch that my cig burned out, well and when its empty i clean the place.
I like cleaning, when everithing is shini and right, it gives me a peace, and i have something to focus on.
and im plannig on bying a cat, i dont like animals, but it is thing that is alive and i can be reasonably sure that it will not try to kill me.
i know my writing sucks so sorry, but it fells good to talk about my life for once, and to listen to other peoples bollshit and pretend im interested because it is my only opportunity to talk to people.
For 15 years I was depressed as the result of crippling social anxiety.
I finally got on two meds that hav saved my life.
I can do anything now.
Anything, around or with anyone.
I even since found a woman I have fallen in love with.
I feel like I was given a second chance.
My story is a real life cliche, but it is true.
I'm fucking happy!
Uneducated fuccboi detected.
I think we need more animu in this thread.
my bf just cut contact with me, i have no idea where he lives now. We were madly in love, were in a relationship for 10+ months and suddenly he is stressed from work, doesn't call/write/text me anymore. Haven't heard from him in 5 weeks.
why would anyone do his... i just don't understand what i could've done or how i could've helped him
i am 27
kissed a girl once
i am good looking but self esteem is shit i am stressed out all the time
5 years in uni take degree
1 year in the army
i speak 3 languages
cant find a decent job for 2 years
find job - shit pay
i have depression all of my life
my father is crazy as hell and makes my life miserable
i was a drunk and became really violent
started lifting some fucking weights and i felt better than ever
stop giving a fuck about anything
what ever plans you are making now expect them to fail
life is a cunt the more you are expecting from it the more disappointed you get
just wanted to get this of my chest .
Life is like this: when you are able to do something at the same time you can't because of some reasons. Now when You finally can, you are not able.
Also when you don't want- you can. You want- you cant
Picture partly related
and now having another fucking pranoia attact because i fell like i let out too much information, even thogh its havily edited and on a anonimous image bord in a thread that will expire in a half hour
life like a adventure, fuck that man