alright you junkies get in here
ex heroin addict
ive been clean for over a year
how long have you been clean?
what motivates you?
and are you truly Happy?
now that shit is something else... its so short lived, i went through a fucking box of whipped cream cans from the dollar store, the lady was like "what in the world!? you better not throw these at the store!"
i was like "making a big cake 0.0"
same shit for me...booze and weed was never my issue...Ive never been a boozer because I cant stand losing a day to hangovers etc and I dont consider weed any more a drug than I would cigarettes so...I work, pay all my shit, lead a decent life etc so smoking a fatty here n there clearly aint fucking with my life like wacking dope daily and being sick if not did...
a men brotha, ill admit i have been drinking a little more than i should lately, but im just going to stop, i was always able to do that with alcohol, just stop. i dont enjoy it like i did dope.. and weed.. ffs its weed... thats so irrelevant to any problems in my life
it does man...I never even think about doing smack...I quit smoking cigarettes like 12 years ago too and I dont miss it either...its corny but time does heal all wounds...just keep your head in the game and youll be fine.
lol yep...I could never get wasted off booze two days in a row anyways, I never feel like drinking the day after getting wasted but I never had a problem doing heroin two days in a row haha
thats crazy...I mean I like fucking as much as the next guy but I dont go crazy if I go a few weeks without it...sex, video game and gambling addictions were the ones I never understood...especially video game addiction, thats just fucking gay..I mean as long as you aint getting or giving STDs keep on fuckin brotha! haha
My wife was an "ex addict", truth be told there is no such thing you will always be a heroin addict, use or not. She abandoned her children left everything the owned behind and disappeared 60 days ago due to relapse. Im going for full custody for my kids, took all our money outta the account too. Once a user always a user, dont forget recovery will take a lifetime.
I gained 13 pounds in as many days in detox haha. I went in super underweight from being a street junkie and they fed me so much good shit I went from 137 to 150 in like 2 weeks..Im 6 feet tall so..I was pretty fucking skinny lol.
I think its a bit to each his own also though. I get the concept of once a junkie always a junkie but...I did 2 weeks in detox to get it out of my system and then I walked away from my hood and moved where it wasnt available and never thought about it again basically...same with smoeks..I woke up one day with yellow fingers and a bad taste in my mouth and I decided I didnt like smoking anymore after 16 years of doing it...I never smoked again its been 12 years now...people smoke around me, iut doesnt bother me, Ive never even taken a puff once in that time..so each person is different...
what more do you need? good for all occasions, more and more acceptable in society and youre not some wired out freak, youre basically the same person as before you smoked the joint lol...
not the same type of addiction...its easy with booze and smokes because they are readily available and accepted by society for the most part so its easy to fall into chronic use...but heroin grabs you quicker, and makes you physically sick if you dont have it every day, booze doesnt do that unless youre a long term drunk and smokes will never do that to you...after youve felt the sickness, you get scared of going through it again, and thus begins your descent in junkiedom lol fear of the sickness is what keeps junkies junkin' lol
to each his own, but i can tell you right now, heroin is a contract you sign with the devil, he gives you the most satisfying thing in the whole world but the consequence is that youll never forget how it once felt.
Maybe so, i moved her away from all of it and she still found it again. The main point i was making, there is no such thing as an ex addict, just an addict from then on. Some people can fight it longer than others some not at all and a small minority can beat it.
>Heroin pot and benzos for two months, was miserable
>Lapsed and shot up every day this week, spent all my money, now im miserable
>Mfw i started using cause I was a miserable cynic
Life is like mr. bones wild ride fucking wew laddie.
Some good came out of it tho, i forgot how much i hate being sick. Never want to shoot up again.
i disagree, she relapsed mentally way before she even touched a drug.
if a person truly and i mean TRULY wants sobriety, they CAN get back to normal.
i was shoot 3 buns a day in my throat, robbing everyone and everything, i died more times than i can count, broke my neck in a car accident and live to tell the story.
and im clean for over a year, i own a company, i have goals and i dont even think about heroin anymore and i actually get sick just thinking about it.
everyone is different.. ime
i strongly believe relapse is necessary to recovery.. after being clean for a while, when you use, you most likely wont have a good time, this may be the push you need to stay clean.. it was for me
yeah she wasnt ready to quit I guess...I think the reason I had so much success is because I was truly sick of doing it, the lifestyle, the hustling, everything, like with smokes, I was sick of smoking. I think once you get to that stage it helps alot. Sorry about your wife tho for real.
Its alright im much happier now she is gone, and im getting custody of my kids so its all good now, also i used to have bad mental issues which are all gone now that she is gone. Funny how that works.
We are going through divorce now. The kids are so young they wont remember real mommy. Im going to be super selective this time around and just hope the woman i choose is the right one this time. I learned a lot from this marriage.
Thanks a lot, its hard, now cause i got the kids full time i lost my job, im surviving on goverment aid. But i know in time things will turn around. Also childcare isnt an option cause one of my kids has special needs
I was a big time dealer but stopped a few years ago. Not really addicted to 1 substance in particular but just need 'something' to get wasted on.
Life just seems so dull now. I miss the kick driving around with dealers and 7 kilo's of MJ in the trunk. I loved/hated the kick of feeling the cops at the station look at you when you feel that bag of 1000 xtc pills burning in your pocket. Or that incredible smell when you weigh 100G's of shiny cocaine rocks.
I really regret the path I took and the choices I made. I started selling harddrugs since I was 15 and never got to have a 'normal' life. I litterally don't know anything else, so I don't have alternatives to fall back on. For me this is the hardest part of stopping: everything in my life always revolved around drugs. I know fuckloads of people but almost everyone uses. In some streets of my city I know more than several dealers I supplied in the same street. I just wish I could reset my life and never touch that shit, because deep down I know life will never be as fulfilling as the normies. At this point in my life I'll have to make choices. Friends are dying or getting put away in the psych wards. Thinking about starting Uni, but I'll never succeed in studying/work untill I completely stop with drugs.
Don't underestimate weed bro. I mean OK it's not like amphs or opiates, but I've seen plenty of people throwing their life away because they were always stoned. Weed is fine in moderation but it kills motivation if you use it too much. It tends to make me depressed too
ex heroin addict here
i'm on methadone maintenance so some people might not consider me to be "clean" but whatever, it doesn't get me high and my life has improved by like a million percent.
haven't used dope in 16 months. since i got clean i have lost 80lbs, gone back to school to become an addiction counselor and have a 4.0 GPA after 2 semesters, gotten my own apartment, and am working a cool part time job in the box office of a theatre (not the movie kind).
i'm motivated mostly by how much better my life has gotten without using and the fact that i know if i relapsed i would lose everything very quickly. i still miss heroin if i'm being honest but i consider heroin to be like that crazy beautiful ex girlfriend that you'll always love but know that she can't be a part of your life anymore.
am i truly happy? i don't know. i'm certainly a lot happier than i was when my happiness came solely from dope. i'm still sort of lonely and really want to start dating again but girls aren't typically interested in a 33 year old ex junkie. hopefully i'll meet someone in the near future but i'm not gonna worry about it too much. my sobriety is the most important thing in my life right now.
I know this feeling all too well bro, My life revolved around using/selling since I was 15 too, am 29 now, been arrested 3 times, avoided jail so far, been using heroin for the last 5 years and every opiate/drug under the sun from 15 onwards, It's gotten to the point where I need to make all new friends and move to a new area, just got on methadone this week and haven't ued any heroin since so I'm hopeful I can gain some stability in my life,
Good luck bro!
Miserable as fuck
Kind of just swapped addictions, and I drink a lot, got surgery on my arm and fingers from an accident and turned down the oxys and vicodin so kind of proud of that. Taking tramadol
70mg. i started on 30mg but i was using so much dope when i came into the program that it didn't hold me and i still felt like crap. honestly at the end of my addiction i was using like 30 bags a day. i would buy it in paterson, nj where it's like $3-4 a bag so my tolerance ballooned and i was using crazy amounts.
it's not a small dose but it's not to crazy either. there are lots of people there on 140 or 150mg. honestly it just makes me feel normal. i don't feel high at all or sleepy.
What eventually happens to meth addicts?
Can I look forward to my sister dying any time soon or is it like a life long inconvenience that I'll have to put up with if I don't cut her out of my life?
i know it's really hard but there's nothing you can do really except tell her that you love her and that you will do anything to help her get clean but not to enable her addiction.
unfortunately you can't get a person clean no matter how much you want it. they have to want to get clean and change their life. if they're not ready to stop using then there's little that can be done honestly.
Thank you for that.
I'm willing to help if she asks for it but as it stands, she just wants to disappear for weeks on end and show up occasionally to our mother's home to see her kids for a bit and wash up.
Good luck to you. Stability is our saviour, yet routine kills me. I hope you make it
Hard call. You can't do anything for her. Don't let her abuse your trust. You can help her if needed, but prepare to get hurt.. as long as she doesn't really really want to stop, don't even bother it
Really interesting and helpful answers hear /b/
Keep on fighting people! Good for you, even it's harsh
Just a little secret from me:
There is no such thing as "HAPPINESS" , only GLANCES of it when you step on and succeed even something tiny in every aspect of life. Otherwise, drugs wouldn't exist in society
I was using 2/3grams of darknet #3 heroin, labtested stuff at 76%, it was getting to the point where i was constantly getting dopesick, i have a theory the stronger n cleaner the gear the quicker and harsher the rattle, anyway 30mg is holding me well so far but i do wake up yawning n watery eyed so i think i need to up it a bit, id say 55/60 would suit me perfectly
It is fucking nice not being sick in the mornings tho!
I'm in no danger of getting hurt. I don't have any emotion invested in her situation but I do feel obligated to be the good son and help out my family here and there but I will not go out of my way nor sacrifice anything for them.
If I knew a definitive way to "save" her I would. But if what you're saying is true, then my resources are best saved for myself.
I do hope she gets better but until then, I guess I won't pursue it.
Lol, yea reading that back it did sound rather simplistic, But you would think the weaker the dope the quicker youd get sick no?
I live in ireland and prdering from uk, in europe #3 is the most popular type of heroin
i avoided being dopesick like it was the fucking grim reaper. like "im about to be sick in 3 hours and i aint got no hustle or anyone i can scam today. time to rob my dealer."
yeah i miss the high but i don't miss all the bullshit and the withdrawal and the having to drive an hour every other day and risk getting arrested because the dope was so much cheaper in northern NJ than it was where i lived in NY.
good luck to you man. you can do it. if i can do it, anybody can. i used for 8 years pretty much every day and i thought there was no chance i was ever going to get clean.