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Ask a goatfarmer anything. For all your (non)Agricultural questions.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 242
Thread images: 145
Ask a goatfarmer anything.

For all your (non)Agricultural questions.

Last thread was a succes,gonna try this again.
why are you running a sex slave operation YOU FUCKING SANDNIGGER!?
First, I'm a saxon Dutchman.
Second, the goats only need to breed once.
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Fat goat bump
would goats an sheep ever have sex together?
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A male goat will try to fuck anything that looks like a goat.
I've never seen it happen, though hybrids do exist.
Have you seen Gary the Goat Youtube channel? Any thoughts?
No I have not.
What's it about?
Pls provide an abridged version.
A comedian in Australia drives around with this goat named Gary and they have funny interactions with other animals and people. And Kevin the goat is a cunt.
Sounds somewhat funny.
Why are goats so cute, don't hurt them plz
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I "hurt" my animals when it's needed.
But always supply them with an anesthetic.

I don't know why they're so cute, maybe it's the chronic confusion they're suffering?
Here's some kids.
2 hours old.
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or maybe it's the "stoned look"?
How do you begin the journey of becoming a goat farmer?
Ever had to chase away horny Muslims from molesting your goats?

Was Black Philip really the devil?

Have a dad who has a pigfarm.
Have swine flu happen.
Buy 600 goats.
Breed 1200 more.
>Pro goatfarmer.

No, but i have shot a Moroccan guy once.
That's technically a muslim, right?

What is a Black philip?

tl;dr Be born with silver spoon in ass.
The kids?
Or the floor?
They're fluffy because they just drank.
Al the energy of the body is used to processes the food, so they get cold.
i just watched a few episodes.kevin is a fucking cunt
Are some of your goats particulary intelligent ?
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Well, there is one particular goat whom has "Hacked the system".
I own a "rapid exit" Milking configuration.
When the fence lifts, powerfeed is released.
This goat climbs up the side and "steals" some powerfeed before the fence is completely lowered.

Pic related, Its the goat on top of the other goat.
Hah. Do you give them names sometimes ? Or get attached to a few in particular ?
Do they ever go outside? The local goats here just basically live in the forest and come inside for the winter, your place seems kinda crowded >_>
is it true that goatpussy are even stinky than a nigger- and muslimpussy?

Somewhat less than 100 goats have a name.
And i have a favorite goat.
"Vlekkie" it roughly translates to "spot" (pic related)
The goat to the left is called "evee". (Has a white "V" on her head.)
Mostly colored goats, and goats with peculiar behavior, or goats with receive a name.
The other have a number.
It's really hard to think of 1800 names, and track them all.
Is it tiring work ? Are you happy with it ?
Is it hard to let them go?
i've been looking for hires goat images, thanks op
Never smelled a (sand)niggerpussy.
But goat(cunt) smells bad.

Currently not.
The gouv. won't let me buy more land.
As soon as I have permission they will be able to graze freely in the spring and summer.

it's tiring but really rewarding.
But i'm my own boss, so, I can get away with things a normal employee could only dream of.


np, will suplly moar wiht each answered question.
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>How bad does it smell there?

>Do goats attack or cannibalize each other? Are there any particularity violent goats that are assholes?

>How many people work with you on your goat farm?

>If you're comfortable, how much money do you pull in from this operation?

>Are you happy?
Just starting my own goat farm. Do you just produce dairy?
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Think ammonia, but you get used to the smell in a couple of hours

My goats do not cannibalize.
All my male goats are assholes once in their lifetime.
But then i teach them not to fuck with me.

I currently have 2 employees

Think about 120k a year, but i still have a big debt from the early years.

Verry happy.

Yes, but I also have some private income on the side.
Do the goats resist when you try to have sex with them?
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Oh forgot to tell.
"Vlekkie"kept escaping, she even stood in my living room one day!
Now I take her on a daily walk, and she's a good goat now.

Pic. related
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Don't know, never tried.

Goats stop producing mil when you induce stress.
The milk is my bread and butter, Fucking with that will result in a cumsandwich.
I don't think i like cumsandwiches...
have you ever been invited into the goat tower?
Hey OP! Awesome to see another farmer here, thought about making a thread like this from time to time.
Allthough im not a farmer myselfy, i work on a farm as a form of therapy and rehab (i live in switzerland). The hard Work and the Animals really helped me and i enjoy every bit of it, thank you for contributing to society in the way you're doing, awesome!
We have 80 cows, 50 pigs, 8 horses, 10 chickens and about 40~ rabbits.
Why isn't goat milk more popular in the us?
Nice :)
Sadly never.
Will construct own ASAP.

Nice. keep up the good work!

Goatmilk isn't even popular here in The Netherlands. but goatmilk is expensive.
They make Formula powder(milk for baby's) from it.
Chinese had a scandal 4/5 years ago.
That's when the price for goatmilk skyrocketed.
Been making major profit since.
I am glad i'm finally able to pay off my debt.
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I have been thinking about taking part in a project as such, but it would conflict with my own habits.
Anon you sound like a humble man. I'm glad things are working out for you. You deserve all the best. Best wishes from Brooklyn NY
how did you start
for how long are you in the business
you started on your own or with family/friends
what was the amount of money invested at first
did you ever invest on stock?
What part of the world are you from?

And caught yesterday's thread a bit, good breads OP.
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As you see, I use animals to produce milk, not machines.

Thx anon, have a great day.
And pictures of goats, bitches love goats
Do goats love music ?
When I was in northern Scotland and especially the isle of sky there was goat milk everywhere. It was in what was their version of 7-11 and it didn't cost much more than cow milk. They say it is easier to digest. I liked the flavor more than cow milk and wished I could have it more often.
If I wanted to drink two cups a day for personal consumption how many goats would I need? Do they get lonely if it's only 1-3 goats?

I had 22 goats until someone poisoned the feed: (
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Grandpa, and pa had a pig farm.
I took over for my pa.
Swine flu happened.
Had to clean up my farm.
Gouv. compensated, rebuild farm.
buy 600 goat, breed 1200 more.
I invest my energy and life in this company.

The Netherlands.
WB /b/ro!

Yes. goats hate silence.
I supply them with oldskool metal.

Only 1 Nubian goat.
But 1 goat gets lonely, unless you are with her all the time. Lonely goats stop eating and die.
Get some pygmy goats to accompany her.

Find him and kill him,.
How do others react when you tell them what you do for a living
Goat-Anon, you sound like a nice person and a good goat farmer.
All the best for you and your farm and greetings from Germany!

Do you supply your goats with any possibility of climbing?

Would you accept an employee paid in room and board?
You honestly made me want to dump my shitty economics career and go goat farming.

Sadly don't have anywhere near enough money for that
Would you drink goat milk Raw without any sort of treatment including heating?
How much is 2 Nubian goat to purchase and feed?
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My neighbors, are also farmers.
And the only people i get tot talk to are people from food supply, vet's other farmers, and such.
The web is my only link to the outside world.

Thx anon.

I have a "Hooiruif" (don't know engrisch word) and i am building a bigger scale "goat tower".
Pic related.

Sorry anon.
I already have 2 employees and they give me enough headsores lol.

>Applicating on /b/.
>Not a good place /b/ro.

I have been born with a silver spoon up my ass.
I've inherited this company.
See me as a humble monarch.

Pasturize that shit first.

Denpend's where you live.
It cost al lot of money to keep a few animals.
When you keep more, the cost per goat decreases.
thanks mate
Damn, and kek I know; but I'm stuck in the city I grew up in and need to get the fuck out. Dealing with people's a pain in general so managing has got to be a bitch.

Thinking about living out of my car in a different state, but eh I'm not sure.
Interesting. There is a trend in the us to drink non pasteurized non homogenized milk bc supposedly it keeps more of the good nutrients in it. The government is against it. The only people that are for it are some farmers and they say they have had raw milk their whole life and attribute the safety of it more to the cleanliness of their production more than anything else. These farmers say that if you know and trust a small scale farmer and he is clean than the risk of something bad is very low. What say you?
Why don't you man up and start a beef farming operation like me, and sell those fucking fedoras on legs?
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I found a spotted goat for €100 euro's
Will cost about +/- €20.00/day if they don't get sick.

If you drink the milk form a single goat, and you know everything about the goat, it still bares some risk.
If you keep more than 200 goats it's very hard to keep track of them.
If a pathogen is carried trough the milk, people will get sick, and possibly die. (think of Q fever, and M. paratubercolosis)
thanks for all the goat nudes.

alhamd lillah
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to be completely sure, you'd have to run daily bloossamples, i'm not stick a needle in my animal, unless it's completely necessary .

I don't like cows, they're to boring.
A goat fights, jumps, demolishes, talks, plays, and is way more active than a cow.
Plus they look like stoned people.
how often you fuck your goats?
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I have male goats tot do that for me.

Pic related.
Cows are chill they mind their own fucking business and don't start shit.... also is it true If you put a pair of work boots on the front of a goat and try to push it over a cliff or something it will just keep backing up onto your dick?
did you like your pigs before the flu took em ?
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That's precisely why i think of them as "boring"

Don't know.
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Not really, they try to eat you sometime's
But there were a lot of pigs i was attached to.
I almost shat my pants when i heard of Q fever.
I thought I had to live trough that all again.
I'm sure I would rather "an hero" before killing all my animals again.
I contracted swine flu. Good times.
What are your hobbies since you always stay at the farm ?
Reading, Music, Videogames ?
Do you think the goats sense the souls of the dead pigs that lived there before them?
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is anything cuter than baby goats?
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The only thing close to a hobby is browsing, Music, and blazing.
But all of them are practiced at work.

It's not the same barn anymore. and I sure hope they don't.
Tho counteract the haunting, you scare the evil pig-spirits away with my herbs.

old goat you know since birth.
(they always stay fluffy in your mind!)
Pic related
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Or 18 baby goats
are (or were) some of your goats evil motherfuckers hellbent on spreading mayhem and destruction ?
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but that is a cute kid tbh

All goat's are hellbent on spreading destruction and mayhem, despite unknowingly.
Maybe it's the metal, maybe it's the funny side of the goat.
It still is one of the reason I like goats so much.
But never had an evil goat in particular.

On a scale from 1 to goat, how goat-ish are your goats?
I need to post a big machine to regain some feeling of manliness though.
do you really make them listen to metal ?
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it varies from -1 to 11.
i have one goat that's to stupid to be called a goat.
constantly gets stuck, or hurt, and still tries to fight some alpha goats.
I suspect this goat of having some form of "goat down syndrome"
Her kids are normal goats though.

She's called "spookie" it roughly translates to "Ghost".

pic related
Favorite band?
Mostly Saanen with some Alpine? Which are the most fun? Nubians are dull, right?
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Oldskool metal.

Deep purple, black sabbath.

The early "relaxed" kind of metal


Gloryhammer, amon amarth, slayer, fleshgod apocalypse, heidevolk are my personal favorites.
Do you listen to Ghost, motherfucker ?
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Most of my goats are 1/8 nubian, and 1/4 alpine.
The external characteristics always varies.
They are what I think the best milking goats.
All goatfarmers think they have the best breeding program, including me.

I really liked their song "Year zero"
Cracks me up every time.
OP post some close up goat pussy. I need a fap
how do you dispose of all of that goat shit? Is it like a cesspit or...?
>Year Zero
I KNEW you were my nigga
Good luck from France.
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Oh, and i only picked the songs in the same bpm range.
It optimizes production.


I supply it to other farmers, who use it to fertilize the soil.
Circle of life.

Thx anon, horns up! \m/
how true is goat simulator to reality?
how do you collect the waste then? It looks like all of them are in pens
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Ayyy lmao

THE FUCK? thats nasty
stop making money off killing others
What Happend to that goat
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>Indestructible animal that destroys everything it encounters, while joyfully displaying impressive acrobatics, and get's stuck while doing so.

Accurate af.

I need about a cup and a half to get my arm in there when they have trouble giving birth.

With big ass manly machinepower!

Pic related.

Goats! defend you liege!
Woden is with us!

The aftermath of birth.
Stop living a comfortable life while other people are starving.

It gave birth to three kids.
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pos a non-wrecked goat pussy close up. come on you know damn well you have pics of them.. everyone who works on a farm has at least 1 person who likes to jackoff to farm animals and/or fuck them
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Not on my farm.

Are you a sandnigger?
I want to see more baby goats!
and all that scooped up pile is shit?
god damn
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incoming random porn *definitely not spam* hub comments pasted onto goat pictures dump
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here you go.

I produce more shit, than milk.
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bullshit motherfucker.. the more you deny it the more we know its true. you fuck the goats dont you. im sure you have a nice collection of goat pussy pics
How much do you charge for using the goats for lawn treatment? Like mowing the grass and what not?
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nice to see someone else has an appreciation for the same things i do
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>Ask a goatfarmer anything.

What does goat pussy feel like around your cock?
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My family owns some land that will be sold for the government n 20 years for a highway.
I want to farm some goats there, what should I do and with what should I start?
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I don't do that.
I regulate the food intake precisely to the goats need to optimize production.

Buy land.
Take more loans.
Build barn and get milk machine.
Build silo's.
But more land to grow food.
Buy goats.
milk goats.
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thx for keeping my thread bumped anon.
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no prob man, goats are goat
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I've always wanted to ask a goat farmer this...what is the best time of year to plant goat seeds for the optimum crop yield?
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Hahahah lol
nice question m8
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Between 14 and 25 may.
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are we at the top of the catalog yet?
Why do you use the slur "goat", when you know the correct term is Middle-eastern Dog?
Is it because you're an uneducated racist farmer?
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Thanks for the tip
>Mostly colored goats, and goats with peculiar behavior, or goats with receive a name.
Are colored goats worth less than normal goats?
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Maybe because i'm dutch?
not a middle eastern.


nope, but goats are racist though.

A colored goat is always outranked by a white goat in the hierarchy.
Racism is completely natural.
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Kevin. This is a cunt free zone mate.
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>I can get away with things a normal employee could only dream of.

You fuck the goats dont you?
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Follow-up question: is visiting 4chan the highlight of your life as a goat farmer?
Related: how does it feel to know you'll never be a computer programmer?
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male goats do make this sound when chasing a goat.

no, think more like;
>blazit 420
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and i thought no one was paying attention
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Nah, I lurked before, as i said before, the web is my only line outside.
Well i'm just glad there are people who know how to program.

Hail satan
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I was in the thread the other day and I asked about your fencing. Was on phone and thread died. Also how much land do you have?
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about 9 ha for housing and storage, and 12 ha for crops.
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>well, I'm just glad there are people who know hot program
>well, I'm glad somebody else is better, because I'm retarded and I suck at life
>well, you funky clever kids go ahead and make the world better, I'll be here masturbating goats like I'm a retarded 3yo
>well, we are all different, some people know math and science, and some people just know how to feed a goat, all activities are equally good, and income inequality is a drag

Cool story, bro.
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How deep do you plant your seed? Just below the surface or up to the nuts?
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how big is your collection?
I'm laughing my ass off right now.
explain goatmagic please
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when did the words farmer and fucker become synonymous?
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fuck off retard, youre just jelly you dont have such an impressive goat harem.
that's the end of my goats
i really need to set aside some time and add to the collection
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Hail satan.

Goats can defy laws of physics, simply because they don't give a shit about it.

Seems since the previous thread.
Dammit, you read me like an open book.
sorry forgot to give a winning number
>72 wins
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please do.
How often do those little fuckers escape their enclosure? How do you prevent it?
Have you heard about those transgenic spider-goats? What do you think about them?
>Stop living a comfortable life while other people are starving.

Awesome answer anon
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Only "Vlekkie" defied the fences.
I simply put an chain to close the gates, while the goats can simply jump over the fence standing still.
But they don't...
Makes you think about society.

I saw this on the internet before, can't wait till the taboo's on genetic engineering are lifted, so we can make more progress, and not only with livestock.
Maybe we can improve the human design to make humanity more intelligent.
Intelligent people = less butthurt.
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Maybe because compared to a human, goats are retarded.
A person that stand against a wall whilst facing it, and doing this for hours, can be viewed as retarded.
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I'm jealous of your lifestyle, Goatman. I'm going to strive to do something like this.
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I honestly hope you succeed.
just remember to smoke your veggies everyday.

Ok. Your goats do this??????? Chicken goat?
Sounds kind of autistic
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or else you will become a grumpy farmer like my pa and grandpa.

It's the sound they make when spotting a female who's "willing".
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the female goats make that sound when they are picking a fight.
bye guys
What do you do with goats whose spirit have escaped to goatheaven?
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I get them out of the herd asap.
Light a joint in honor of fallen Valkyrie warrior.
Then let "rendakk" (dead thingey disposal service).
The bearn the goat like the old heathen kings.
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