>shit soaked life anon
He died 17/04/2015
no wonder nub
you always say tomorrow, these are self-defeating cycles that you beat yourself into
the correct frame of thinking is "i change today", followed by actually making some small level of change
you kill yourself from the start thinking you're going to wake up tomorrow and find all the motivation you've lacked is suddenly going to be there and all the uncertainty and lack of distinct goals will suddenly go away. it doesn't work like that
The soul i used to be is now hidden behind several walls that i've built within myself because if i acknowledge that my old self exists then it'll become who i am again. I dont want that to happen
>shit soaked life anon
Fuck, I could give you an exact time and place.
I'm the opposite man. I used to give my lunch away to kids who couldn't afford it in school. Now I tell everyone to eat shit and I'm on probation while still doing drugs to keep myself interested in living for as long as I can.
All of that has absolutely no significance if you really think about it. I mean come on. What have humans ever done that is worthwhile? How is anything meaningful? It seems like everything is just pointless and bland.
NO YOU HANG IN THERE!
I never said it had any significance. It's just more enjoyable then bitching about everything. Instead of crying about mundane shit try to enjoy the senses. Hedonism yo
I feels like you're a complete fucking twat. and a faggot obviously. Fuck off a bridge, sad cunt.
Funny how those on the opposite side of the spectrum end in the same place.
Philosophy question- it it TRULY better to have loved and lost? or is that all bullshit? I propose if you've never known love, you're used to never having it, which doesn't hurt as much as losing it.
>shit soaked life anon
Sorry /b/ro. That was the day I lost what genuine happiness I had left. Got my heart broken that day and since then had anxiety and depression, almost had two heart attacks as well from the anxiety and heartbreak.
I would say it's better to have loved once, but merely because im a knowlege freak.
Though from experience... i would say it feels worse for a while, then it goes back to "normal" once you stop caring.
For me it was November 16th, 2015.
I lost everything i cared about and tried to kill myself. I couldn't even die right... and so here I am.
>have a wallpaper i guess
Way ahead of you. Already have tried again. And the only reason i haven't given into
>third time's the charm
Is because maybe, just mayyyyyyybe there's something i'm SUPPOSED to do before i kill myself. And so I'm searching for it.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Guise I just... I dunno
I thank bout the universe n stuff n how big it is and how little I am n I just get sads. Wut if there isn't a meening to life n stuff. Sumtimes I cry cus nobody gibbe hugs n stuff. I don no wuttado. I want to die but mayb just maybe there like a reason or sumpin to stay live. Existnzsz is cruel I cry everytiem
Die you are too weak to compete with real men like me. I will take your women, get that promotion and drink more than you because I am real man. You're still wanting that new X Box game? I already own it. Before it came out. Your shit is weak and I will fight you IRL to tell you killing yourself if weak and stupid. Also check em.
haha what a faggot, he hasnt realized that there is no irl
I think we all do anon, i think we all do
>memes never leave you
>memes never ditch you or cancel plans
>memes never steal your crush
>memes never stop communicating with you because they found other memes
>memes never talk behind your back
>memes can always cheer you up when you're sick
>memes will always be there till the end
and the best part is
>you can always make memes
What is /b/'s thoughts on drug usage and self medication? Life's been rough the past few years and I've been getting high a lot more frequently in what I guess is a break from the stresses of life. Previously I thought negatively of recreational drug users thinking it was a path to degeneracy but now that I'm here I've started to wonder whether I'm doomed to degenerate or if the life I want to live is still worth fighting for with full vigor.
"medication" isn't a PATH, it's a SIGN that you already are.
>tfw I'm 26 and I bought my own cake for the past 10 years
worst part is I get to eat the entire cake.
DISCIPLINE FAGGOTS. I'M TIRED OF DEPRESSION, MEDICATION HAS NOT WORKED. I'M TIRED OF BEING INTOXICATED, CAN'T HAVE A DRINK WITH MY FRIENDS WITHOUT BLACKING OUT BECAUSE OF THEM, CAN'T HAVE A JOINT WITHOUT LOSING BALANCE OR SHAKING HAND BECAUSE OF THEM. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF THIS SHIT. DISCIPLINE IS WHAT WE NEED. ENOUGH OF SELF FUCKING ROMANTIC PITY.
>N HAS NOT WORKED. I'M TIRED OF BEING INTOXICATED, CAN'T HAVE A DRINK WITH MY FRIENDS WITHOUT BLACKING OUT BECAUSE OF THEM, CAN'T HAVE A JOINT WITHOUT LOSING BALANCE OR SHAKING HAND BECAUSE OF THEM. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF THIS SHIT. DISCIPLINE IS WHAT WE NEED. E
Trying to keep the thread alive, wanna get some feedback on something.
Alright /b/ros, been thinking recently. Like, in my spare time when I'm not mentally occupied. And usually when I think in my spare time I get depressed as fuck. it's been happening a lot recently, actually. My brain is in the video-game induced state of numbness that I intentionally set myself in every night (Hotline Miami for the win) so I won't be able to describe very well what it is that I think about. I mean, shit gets really bad, but I can't give you the full scope of it now because I don't want to breach that mental floodgate right now. But here's the TL;DR: Real bad shit, thoughts about existence and stuff that drives me toward extreme suicidal thoughts and whenever I think of it I begin to feel as if I'm going insane, a thought I've been having more than I'd like to have been having recently...
Anyway, I got thinking about that state of mental numbness I described earlier to dull my mind so that I can't think about the stuff that drives my mind to darkness, right? And I thought that maybe suicide by ignorance might do it.
Think about it. I'm still young, well below 25, my mind is still developing. Enough weed at this time in my life would leave my mental abilities permanently reduced (studies have shown this, please don't start this argument right now). If I could do that, intentionally starve myself of sleep, and do other things of this nature, I may be able to reduce myself to a state of below-average intelligence, and that might permanently dull my wits enough that I might be happy. I dunno. It might also help me take a load off in life. I'd disappoint the fuck outta my parents, they're expecting a doctor, but I think it wouldn't be as bad as if I just straight up became an hero. Because I have trouble imagining putting them through that much grief.
What do you all think? Now that I've got it in writing, it sounds like a stupid idea, but at least it's food for thought.
damn dude, I thought you'd be halfway across south america by now. What happened?
>worried about going crazy
>plan to abuse weed and sleep deprive self
bad plan man. You'll probably be fine but take it from a guy whose been hospitalized for psychosis, you don't want to do that. You want to kill your brain? See a shrink, get on prescription drugs... maybe klonapin will be right up your alley
You sound a hell of a lot like me.
But I don't think that your plan would work. You would probably just end up more depressed and with less chance of being able to do something about it.
That's not too different from the theory I have about the correlation of intelligence circumstance and depression, you can be as smart as you want, but when life fucks you in the ass too much, being smart is a good thing anymore, it feels worse to know how bad everything really is, knowing that you could have done so much better.
Maybe ignorance truly is bliss
oH ShIt WE'Re opENiNg ThiS CAn of WoRMS
To be honest, nothing. I know, GTFO or I'll give you something to cry about, but it's the truth. I'm under some stress, being a student and all, and I did go through a breakup that shook me pretty bad, and I never have gotten enough sleep despite not having insomnia or anything, but aside from those minor things nothing's wrong with my life. It's actually pretty excellent so far. I'm just not sure. Going through some kinda emotional breakdown or something, not entirely sure. Depression will hit me hard for a week or so and then subside, only to hit really hard again at the slightest provocation. Literally had one of those waves set off by someone asking me if I was okay, if you can believe it. I mean, I understand how that lead to the depression, but I can't explain it. There's too much going on. I can form it into a coherent thought, but because there's so much going on up there when I get to thinking about that kind of stuff it's hard to explain one thing without explaining everything, and it's impossible to explain everything, period.
Shit, sorry, rambling again. Not gonna delete all that because I probably had a point in there somewhere, but I can't remember what it was well enough to sort out the sensible stuff and trim out the fat. Sry :P
Might be worth another thread but, describe your 5th grade self in 3-5 adjectives. I found it's kind of a constructive technique to understand your personal happiness and easy way you think.
>Lurk here. Surprised y'all actually responded, and so many of you to boot.
Lovecraft dealt with some pretty similar themes. His works are kinda samey to me, but basically the TL;DR of every Lovecraft book ever is that the more you know about the horrors that lie beyond our earth, the more you know about the TRUE nature of the universe, the deeper into madness you inevitably slip. Pretty chilling stuff.
Yeah, good point. Like I said, sounded worse once I got it on paper. But hey, there's gotta be something. It's funny, really. I don't want to talk to a doctor because I'm afraid that the diagnosis will actually be something wrong in the head that they'll have to drug me for, and I'm afraid of prescription shit because I'm afraid it'll fuck me up in the head, but then I go off and suggest intellectual suicide.
You need money to start a journey, but the whole job thing is not really my thing. Inheriting land will be my ticket to freedom, at least for a year or so. 50k can be a lot if I travel light.
turning 20 in a year and realizing that ive wasted so many fucking years of my life indoors doing the same things over and over and over every fucking day. i have no friends, i have no job, i dont know what to do with my time. video games are so dull to me now. i think about killing myself every fucking day but im better than that. i hate waking up everyday cause i dont even know what ill do. im weak, im tired, im a waste of a person, a bum, a loser.
Unsure, malleable, naive, and I know it's not an adjective but FUCK was I so full of myself, thought I was the smartest little asshole on the face of the planet because I played chess and read long books and drank tea and my parents said i wuz smrt god damn I cringe thinking about it all.
Meds? Nah, they do more harm than good. Therapy? Therapists come off to me as condescending and useless to anyone but dimwits and attention whores, though it's probably not true. Suicide? Nah, that is one HELL of a dick move to your friends and family. plus I get sad thinking of all my wasted potential. Some other option? ZHonestly there's plenty, but due to circumstance I can't personally do most of 'em, or don't want to. So GG buddy, because I'll bet my life you're in the same situation. Honestly it's a pretty fucked up little checkmate, if you ask me. Its worse than tic-tac-toe, because you can't win even if you decide not to play.
They probably won't give you anything serious if you're just coming in there of your own will. I respect people that don't want to be on anything, though. Only real advice I can give you is not to isolate. Even posting here is better than nothing I guess, but probably not enough. And if you're like me and don't have friends you can really talk to, a therapist is helpful. They're basically feels prostitutes
One bad relationship fucked me up for years. Now I'm going my own way, women bullshit is too damn exhausting to keep competing. It feels stupid just to behave like a fucking neanderthal when females are around.
Though, I'm glad I had the whole teenager love experience. I got to banged a 16 yo cutie as a teen.
both my brain and my eyes are fried from starring at a screen all day long. im so hopeless that for the first time in my life i walked into a church and prayed for my life to change. i dont even believe in any of that stuff. im so desperate, everyday i feel worse. everyday i try to find ways to change my life but idk how. fuck it. i guess i have to accept my destiny in life
I mean, yeah, I hear you, but I dunno, man. I don't think I could handle a specific timeslot dedicated to feeling sad, because it's a sort of "mode" my brain has to be in, yeah? And intentionally triggering that on a regular basis, plus the awkwardness of having opened up taht much to someone and the awkward anticipation beforehand during the day and stuff? I mean, while I hear what you're getting at, IDK if I could do therapy. Would totally avoid isolation, but due to circumstances that don't involve me my friends are sort of isolating me. Not their fault, it's all got nothing to do with me, it's just a series of coincidences, but the issues is that I live in a town that has less than half the population of the university I'm headed for. Got nobody left that I actually have any connections with that has a friend group I could enter that ISN'T shit. The ceckmate metaphor is actually pretty accurate, wish I had thought of that earlier.
Chess is all about predicting the future, looking at a bunch of different ways the game could unfold (similar to a causality tree or the butterfly effect) based on your moves, and then selecting the most favorable outcome and playing that way. But here's the thing, I feel like I've examined all angles. Got no good options left, all moves would result in a negative trade for me, so I'm just moving my king back and forth, which is an extremely disadvantageous play in itself, too.
If you get what I'm saying?
Maybe someone will take this advice, if you want change you'll heed it. For I was once posting to feels threads because I was hurt, lonely, extremely lonely. Until I read two books.
Anthony Robbins - Awaken the giant within.
Grow and think rich - Napoleon Hill.
These two books can change your life, all you have to do is read them with a positive attitude.
Trust me, it works. :,)
I can actually relate quite well to that, /b/ro. I've found myself grasping for straws just like that, despite knowing it's hopeless. Hell, there was once a time when I would proudly declare my lack of faith at a moment's notice (went through an EDgY AthEiSt phase, cringe every time), but since then I've caught myself praying once or twice. The irony is unreal.
Hey everyone, it's OP
I'm going to bed now since it's 3:30 in the morning and I think I have to get up at seven.
It was nice spending the evening with you guys.
Stay alive until I see you again.
my first attempt at a relationship in 6 years has been a terrible mess.
I really liked her and its fucked beyond repair.
what I hate is that I cant end it.
its a fucking nightmare and i cant end it
NIGGER YOU WERE 4 OFF OF QUINTS
But yeah, read the reviews for the first one. Actually seems like it's legit, not just snake oil. Alright, I'll give 'er a go.
Agreed, this has been nice. You too, OP!
While I appreciate the sentiment, can't do that. I'd get my shit fucked up in the process, and I'd just be a massive disappointment to my parents. A suicidal guy shouldn't be so worried about that, but I love them too much to die a disappointment.
Fuck. Not you, just... Fuck.
I feel. Studying for finals all weekend. Probably not great to be feeling this shitty before a weekend of studying, but hey, at least my mind'll be occupied while I'm hitting the books. You know what might do you? If you can't manage to find any friends to be with, try doing something you'd normally do at home, but do it somewhere other than home. IDK, read, work on something, draw, whatever you do, but find somewhere nearby to do it. Have a little look about. Find a secluded spot, especially onne you didn't know about before. Go at it. I like it, anyway. The change of pace is nice, but you stay nicely within your comfort zone.
This is a pretty good suggestion. I've taken to learning how to write some R-rated phrases in other languages. it's more memorization than anything, but it's a neat parlor trick to be able to whip out "I eat ass" in Japanese on demand.
fucks sakes the exact same position to me and its as if i almost needed to hear the same thing you said that has been echoing in my head for weeks.. I understand the fuck you gave, I find it hard to give yet so easily said than done.
>pretty sure I have mental problems now after the years of abuse I have self inflicted with depression.
My friend, I can relate completely and totally to the idea of self-inflicted abuse. Actually, that's a pretty good way of putting it... I may use that at some point.
Ketsu wo taberu ;)
Thread is dying. Anyone lurking? I need some good feels movies. Recently watched Everything Must Go and was not expecting feels out of that one, but was give them nonetheless. What else have you all got?
go to khan academy and pick up something that might interest you. or learn a new lingo like this guy >>684236686 he eats ass
Seen it, read the book first. Book was better. Really not too feely of a story, though. IDK, it's been a while. Great book, no question.
It was meant to be "I eat ass?, but yeah, you get the idea :P
Image pretty zoomed out, what's going on?
Same here, all I know is enough to give an elderly chink woman a heart attack. That, and genki.
I'm reading, I'm reading, don't have a cow.
Pls bby gib transl8 ;-;
It was my birthday 2 days ago, I got one "happy birthday" from an ex who cheated on me. My parents were a day late as they forgot but luckily for phones someone reminded them. I feel very very alone as i went backpacking to become better but ended up getting a job and buying a computer to eventually end up where i left off. If anyone is in Melbourne give me a shout I could do with a belated birthday drink...
Would if I could, anon. Don't know how it is there, but here in L.A. I'm underage, broke, and tied down with studying for exams. I know I haven't much to offer in the way of help, but at the very least me and the other anons will be here for you until this site eventually dies or goes to shit, which will hopefully take a while. Until then, we'll be waiting :P.
You are my hero
I find it difficult that at 20 with so much life ahead of you that you think your life sucks. Get into school. Take a part time job and work toward making something of your self. You won't feel better over night but a couple years down the road you will have friends and have a good job.
Lived a great life but I'm depressed anyway so I constantly have to deal with the guilt of being born into such blessed circumstances and wasting it all because oh boo hoo I'm sad for no fucking reason.
My point? It's not a dick measuring contest. The circumstances of one's birth are relatively meaningless. Everyone thinks they have it worse than someone else. It's what you do with what you've got that makes it all worthwhile.
Indeed. It's been a good night, /b/ros. You've all been wonderful. Until next time, this is Lurk signing off.
Four years ago I lost my fiance. Yesterday I lost the man that got me into the only thing I really hold interest in anymore.
To top it off, I may have cancer for the 5th time and honestly I don't feel like fighting it this time.
I am not happy with myself. I have never been. But when I was younger, I didn't care about that much. After all, I had my vidya and friends to play with. I still have both. I just don't enjoy it anymore as I see how meaningless it is.
But I keep playing. It is my way to escape from the reality and forget how much of loser I am in real life.
I am getting sick of everything. I am sick of being single. I am sick of being virgin and having to hear jokes about that from my very own friends. I am sick of being such a pathetic loser, but I can´t break the circle alone. I tried many times, but I just can't do it alone and no one seems to care enough to help me with that.
And longer I stay in this circle of depression and sadness the more empty I feel.
I have nothing to help me keep going.
No interests. No hobbies. No talents. No one to tell me "I love you".I have never heard it from anyone. Hell, I have never even heard anyone saying "I like you, Anon". I can't even imagine anyone being interested in me. Why would any they be? I am not the most handsome. I am not smartest. I don't have any special skill. I am just a saracstical, cynical asshole. I tried to get a girlfiend /b/. I tried change. No results.
I have nothing. Only thing I have are my friends. But that makes me feel worse. I am getting pissed at them whenever I see how successful their lifes are.
How girls are hitting on Jake even tho he is same asshole as I am.
How Thomas and his girlfriend make that fucking perfect couple.
How Dan always gets out of every problem with luck.
How fucking succesfull they are while I am just pathetic virgin without talents or skills.
I am happy for them, sure I am, but in the end it always gets me more depressed.
I have been like this for months now and I feel like dying every day.
I am not suicidal. I don´t think I want to hang myself or anything. I just want to die. Every single day.
Call me beta, call me a faggot. I don't care anymore.
I'm going to recommend you an exercise that a co-worker taught me when I was going through your crisis.
He told me to go to the public mall, and just lie down on the ground. It's not illegal, and they can't kick you out for it.
Just go, lie on your back, and relax. Let people stare. Let people laugh. Some of them might even tease you and give you shit.
Forget them. Forget what they think and forget what they say. They can laugh all they want, but at the end of the day, you're the guy who has the stones to go lie down in the middle of a mall and get made fun of.
Promise me you'll do this.
Lesson number 1:
Nobody knows who you are
Lesson number 2:
If nobody knows who you are, what he or she could possibly think about you is irrelevant
What everyone on earth thinks about you is less relevant than a hill of beans
You really think you're broken? You think it's possible for a person to become so downtrodden that he can never recover? You're fucking wrong. So you fucked up some thing with a chick a few years ago? So you were awkward through school and didn't have friends? Big fucking deal. Those aren't aspects of who you are because those are stories. What you are has nothing to do with the past. There is only the present and there is no self. Resolve to be something and that is what you are.
If you feel inadequate, it's as simple as deciding not to. Being sad is only natural, but there's nothing commendable about wallowing in self-pity. In any given situation, don't think about what's happened in the past. Think about what you are, what you have learned, and how you're going to be better in the future than you ever have been before. At any given moment in time, you're the most mature you've ever been. Don't let what happened in the past bring you down, because it's irrelevant in regards to what you are in the present.
You are the only one stopping yourself from getting what you wan
would u mind not making fun of me with comics please.
Anyone who can relate to this is a giant piece of shit.
Nobody to blame but yourself? Damn right there's nobody to blame for yourself. Self pity is bed enough, but when its your own fault?
Just kill yourself. I don't normally recommend suicide but if you are this worthless then you don't deserve to live.
Hey /b/, I'm kinda liking this girl who is super fucking cool but sometimes we just aren't on the same frequency, like we'll click but other times it's a miss. I really want to just ask her out cause I don't fear rejection, it's just I'm afraid it won't be as good as my ex who I've done so many first times with if I do get it.
What do I do /b/?
>How all of a sudden , someone just wakes up and decides to never talk to you again. No reason.
There are plenty of reasons, and no-one just wakes up and does that. In the past weeks or months, they've been letting go. At worst, you're just blindsided.
This fucks up something fierce.
How many people have had this happen to them? Does it burn? Do you hate the person? Or do you just want answers?
I happen to be one of those who went silent.
What you're describing is inconsistent with human nature. What I'm saying is not.
Or let's presume for a second that I'm wrong, that people actually just drop important things to them at a moment's notice and for no reason.
How often do you hear people dropping out of college, selling their house or quit their non-peasant-tier jobs all of a sudden and for no reason? You don't, because making important decisions takes time.
Ergo, the burden of proof that people discard long-term relationships like used napkins falls upon you.
She feels alone and sad, basically.
We already had this topic, but this is the first time we hit rock bottom with it.
She feels bad because she thinks she is not worthy for me. And because whenever she feels sad she just closes the door, I'm impotent.
And it soft-exploded last week.
What if you inscribe in some sports shit from your town? Like basketball or martial arts?
Friends+exercise=no more ugly nor depressed.
>Also, sports dopamine, which makes you happy.
Good luck, anon. Be brave.
almost 27 here and this is feeling pretty accurate
Does anyone else here have a lot of good friends that they hang out with a lot, but those friends also have better friends? Like, whenever they are doing something, they invite their friends rather than you, and you are really just always that one kid that is singled out. You are still their friends, but will never be as good as their others.This always makes me feel like I'm just clinging on to them and they wont tell me im not their friend because they will just then feel bad for me...
Try making a thread over on /po/
That shit literally lasts forever...