You have 1 month to prepare for being teleported into skyrim (your body and your own weight in equipments).
You will appear in Whiterun's Inn.
How fucked up are you ? Can your nerd skills compensate your terrible komando unpreparedness ?
go back to /k/
>>684160556
learn how to use magic asap of else you'll probably get fucked up by the first skeever you see
>>684160697
/thread
>>684160556
OP, this would be too easy.
1. Have clothes
2. Rest of weight in gold
3. Contact the earl
4. Trade knowledge for shop
5. Live a easy life with lydia
>>684160556
You are teleported right after the events of Helgen. Every character, every quests, every single items are in the exact same state/location than in Skyrim at that moment.
It means, if you know where there is a secret hideout full of fold coins in the game, you can go there and take them.
>>684160556
I'd just find work at a farm outside town, or I'd get a job helping run a shop. I don't need to like, fight anyone. Let's be real. I'm an NPC.
>>684161481
You died... Dragon attack
>>684160556
I live in the real life Skyrim. I'm not fucket at all. You fat, american fuck.
>>684161632
How many dragon's have you fussy row dahed?
Just learn all the shouts
I'm the height of a high elf with the build of the bigger nords I'm rich and I'm young and I am very athletic I will be fine
>>684161890
If you aren't dragon born that takes a lifetime
>>684160556
do body lift so i will not let the half of butin of donjon behind me because of full pouch.....
I'd trick Hermaeus Mora into letting me read the Oghma Infinium. I'd tell him I have knowledge of a world far beyond the comprehension of the races of Tamriel (wich is true) and trade that knowledge for his knowledge.
>>684162411
Your french is showing.
>>684162130
Can't disagree with your answer.
I'd rather be somewhere in Balmora. South Wall perhaps?
If you are murican, buy the cheapest and most reliable gun you can and all the ammunition you can. Add a supressor and spare parts.
Learn everything you can about chemistry (you don't need too much sophisticated tools to do that science). Take first aid class and exercise a lot.
Buy military or trek clothes, water purifier/filter and the rest in condensed deshydrated food.
Make a detailed skyrim map/book.
1) loot all lightly guarded chest you marked on your map, use your gun if necessary
2) go to riften and befriend the thieves guild, trade information for a place to stay
3) inform the Jarl about the vampire skooma dealer and take over their facility
4) become a skooma drug lord with the help of the thieve guild and your knowledge in chemistry
>>684160556
I'd be okay if I joined the thieves guild or a group of bandits.
Traversing skyrim alone = death sentence
>>684165049
yeah, i dont want to die so ill go right to hanging out with criminals
can I gun?
>>684164000
>>684165049
the easiest companion you can get in Whiterun is that one Nord lady knight at the Inn. You have to beat her in a fight thoo... Making her useless if you can have her ?
>>684165292
I already hang out with criminals, some of the smartest businessmen I know are criminals
I have charisma and great face to face skills. Good at reading body language and I don't get intimidated easily because I rely on instinct.
I'll be fine hanging out with the criminals there, respect is universal, I'd respect them and they'd respect me.
>>684165521
Your own weifgt in equipments you can gather before being teleported. You have 1 month to prepare.
>>684160556
increase sneak and archery to 100
>>684164000
brilliant tips
>>684166143
I don't think most of you realize you will be considered as the most beautiful human being that walk on Tamriel.
Seriously think about it ! Hygiene, perfect dentition, delicate feature (compared to a peasant).
You had better find a rich old noble and getting married.
>>684161632
Found the scandinavian
>>684160556
>your body and your own weight in equipments
How much weight can one gain in one month?
huh.
Well I'd be ok I suppose, wouldn't really be an adventurer.
>>684160556
> your own weight in equipments
like hell i can carry that much and still run like hour's
>>684160556
I play on super extreme legendary difficulty
(yeah, it exists)
I think I'm fine
Well I know what everyone's gonna say and everything that's gonna happen so id just ply my trade as a soothsayer and be rich, then hire all the mercenaries and stuff I can to protect me and buy a nice house in the countryside.
>>684166932
Also id find the dragon born and tell him all he needs to know, with the dragon born on my side id be set, ain't nobody fucking with the dragonborn.
>>684166932
You.
You are the reason bandits and thieves exist.
"I hear there's some doctor in this big house surrounded by mercenaries and hired thugs"
"Sounds like a challenge to me"
>>684166801
playing on it =/= starting on it.
>>684161123
>Implying Lydia would put up with your neckbeard ass
>>684160697
>>684160953
>threading your own post
>>684164000
Its alchemy not chemistry you fucking dipshit.
>>684166801
How many in game hours has it been since you last died?
>>684166499
Your decision. You can become a landwhale and buy a small car the same weight of you. But can you fit in there after ?
But no cheating, you cannot stick a gun in your ass and claim it is part of you. Only organic parts within your body are considered as "you".
>>684160556
well i have sanguines debauchery installed, so i guess it will be like this
>appear in Inn
>obviously be naked and have 20 inch dick (thanks schlongs of skyrim)
>everyone gets horny
>massive orgy ensues
So i guess i'll be allright
Salt.
Get you own weight in salt.
This shit was expensive back in middle ages, I bet in skyrim too.
>>684161632
>real life skyrim
>living in first world country with every amenity
Real hardcore mountain over here guys
>>684168143
nigger, do you even nutmeg?
That shit was so valuable that merchants would use it instead of carrying huge amounts of gold.
>>684168143
you find it in every 6~7 fucking barrel
sure its rare
>>684163866
so... burried under 30 feet of lava and ash?
>>684161341
And get slaughtered by the monsters guarding said gold or just get slaughtered by bandits on the way
>>684162041
>lying on the internet
Why?
>>684160556
>Eagle Scout
I'd just start working out again, grab some more survival gear.
I'll do alright.
>>684168351
cannabis and lots of seeds
You just have to introduce the noble to the luxuries of modern era :
learn how to make pasta, it will taste heavenly to them nothing like the rough dry bread
bring an harmonica and learn how to play it well, and I mean Blues Borthers well
>already possess highly advanced lockpicking skills
>trained in polearm combat
>work as a pharmacist
>amateur boxer and gymnast too
I think I'll be ok
>>684165828
>respect is universal
>I would respect them
>they would respect me
Says the anon who immediately gets his head chopped off by bandits
>>684169241
there are no polearms is skyrim, the technology was lost to the ages...
>>684168984
"Oh you are a baker and a musician? How genial, Here is my daughter Raya, She can summon wolves and bears to do her bidding."
>>684168984
hmmm. On the topic of foodstuffs, you could carry a bag or two of the modern, highly engineered, high yield and drastically more resilient wheat species. The increased yield and population boom would kick-start an industrial revolution, especially with the knowledge of steam engines, etc.
I already know how to magic so I think that I could hold myself
>>684167365
I know everything about the thieves guild though, I'm sure I could but that to use, or just straight tell them, hey karlias still alive and mercers going to betray you and he killed Gallus, they'd be on my side then.
Knowledge is power.
>>684169364
he knows what a polearm looks like he can "invent" them
>>684169320
I'm sure the thieves guild would be more civil.
>>684169364
I can fashion a quarterstaff at least and those things are fucking lethal
>have extensive knowledge of the future events
>know the land, people and history of many things
>know things unknown
So I could just pretend to be a psychic/prophet and I'd be okay
>>684169492
>I already know how to magic so I think that I could hold myself
>I already know how to magic
>how to magic
I bring the strategy guide. Will be fun having a book that contains all information about the past, present, and future.
i'd sell everything i have to buy a platinum-rhodium mesh....
then construct a facility to produce ammonia via haber bosch and nitric acid via oswald.
then blow everything up thats gets in my way....
>>684169462
Wait a full year m'lord before I show you my botany power !
It's a long term plan. A good plan, but not really useful for surviving the first month
>>684165828
This much autism
>
>all these people saying they know the future
Isnt that the future you would know if you are the dragon born? Which you aren't. So what if the dragon born happens to be a worthless fuck who gets slaughtered by those first wolves you encounter? Or even worse what if he is the kind of dragon born who slaughters everyone he sees on sight?
>>684168726
Oh darn did that pesky mountain ruin my beloved city? I've been out of the loop with happenings in the world for a while. Are those idiots living under the ministry still around? That thing always gave me the creeps. I know I shouldn't doubt the tribunal's power but I've always had a bad feeling about that.
>>684169859
boo ya great idea
>>684164000
Get there and realize that it's a different universe and the physics and chemistry are completely different.
i'd probably try to chim and zero-sum insted..
> Be Norwegian
> Get Nord stats
> Battle Cry
> Run to nearest bandits below Whiterun
> Battle Cry
> Stab them lots
> Grab their stuff
> Sleep
> Grab chest
> Battle Cry
> Stab rest
> Overencumbered
> Steal horse
> Teleport
> Sell all
> Buy all HP pots
> Buy gear
> Craft gear
> Time to go adventurin
2eZ
>>684169524
they gonna trust ya for sure m8
>>684169524
Yeah... Let's believe the stranger who told us one of our friend is a traitor...
How do you make them believe in you ? No. How do you even contac tthem ? Should I recall you that the entry exam in the guild is a pikpocket theft in broad daylight ?
>>684160556
im good im a prepper survival skills are a thing
>>684170439
vvardenfell is pretty much gone, what was left got fucked by argonians, only the north of morrowind and solstheim is still inhabitable by dunmer master race.
but the'll get it back, the deadra will help them
>>684160556
nah, I've trained in the navy seals for 20 years, so I can kung fu chop a dragon in half with my hands behind my back. this scenario is so fucking stupid, honestly
>>684170240
I'd imagine running to the nearest hold and then convincing the people with your amazing knowlege of modern shit would get you at least some venture capital. Kinds columbus style.
And you won't even get burned as a witch, since they have magic everywhere. Hell, the knowlege of siege engines and ballistas vs dragons is enought to get you sheltered.
Once you have a home base, you can start working on long term plans.
>>684171078
oooh sure, another online seal....
>be black
>become redguard because I guess their the black people of Skyrim
>also not allowed into whiterun
>>684171168
You know how to build a ballista? Or any seige engine for that matter?
>>684171204
kektrue
>>684160556
Why not just get a normal job?
I'm sure the Khali it could use a couple extra hands.
>>684160556
Jokes on you, I'm like 270 pounds. I'm gonna be the largest merchant around. Financially and in terms of fat.
>>684171271
i know and i have done it, reenactor..
>>684171271
1 month to learn, read OP post
But does he have the strengh and tools to build one ? since I assume nobody would be fool enough to indulge in the strange construction of the stranger when there is harvest to be done...
>>684160556
Not fucked at all. 1 month... Pff. All I need is 3 min and 37 sec.
1. Join the thieves guild.
2. Convince the guild to take over red water den and produce skooma.
3. Drink a fortify Autism potion.
4. Brew a fuck load of Skooma.
5. Profit!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0FqTh46r7I
>>684171078
sure
>learn restoration magic
>hope it can cure cancer
>otherwise I won't last very long
;_;7
>>684171168
Actually yes, I do, both traction ballistas and small catapults, and I've helped maintain a trebuchet or two.
The shit you learn while being part of the Society of Creative Anachronism is kinda neat.
>>684171271
meant to reply to
>>684171949
>>684170920
Deadra of all things... I leave for a while and look what happens.
>>684171720
kek
Tndulgeing in the strange construction of the stranger that sounds exactly like to sort of quest adventurers would be forced to undertake.
I would seek out mages and alchemists and try to obtain a cure for type 1 diabetes as soon as possible before i ran out of insulin and supplies.It would be my main quest i guess you could say.After that,I would like to bang an elf please.
>>684170920
There'should actually no confirmation on the state of Morrowind. The Argonians could have just taken the southern most parts.
No more slaves though.
I'll just use the terrain into exploit any trouble I come across
>>684172490
So, some 100 hours of gamplay?
>>684167539
she has to, the knows only to serve her jarl and his ealdormen
Warn the Vigilants of Stendarr about the soon to be Vampire attack.
Become permanent host at their fort, start trading secret vampire locations (Dawnstar, Riften...).
Become the Oracle of Stendarr, the Pope of the Vigilants.
Befriend Ulfrich and make an alliance with the Stormcloak to eradicate all non-human being.
Take over Cyrodil and create the 4th Reich.
If someone ask you why the 4th and where the 3rd had gone burn him at the stake for heresy !
>>684160556
>your own weight in equipments
Guess I can bring a horse and full arsenal
>>684160556
>bring gun
>be a mage anyways
>fuck your shit up
>good to be intelligent
>be appointed kings advisor
go play with your knife outside, peasant
>>684167639
nigger
>>684172047
sure the daedra will help the dunmer. azura, boetiah and mephala have guided the dunmer people since their beginning, well till the tribunal fucked up their believe system. that was also why merunes dagon was so pissed at them, they stopped worshipping him then too. so he send that meteor which got temorarily stopped and invaded during the oblivion events and then the meteor got unstopped. with the tribunal gone they should return to daedra worship and will be fine.
>go to library and print out a booklet of the UESP
>overload bag with with useful shit. Previous metals, watches, etc. Those things would sell for a ton. Good rations etc.
>American so bring my guns
>make home out of the molar bal house because free.
>>684167639
It's pretty fucking close.
>Drink a fortify Autism potion
You canot stack this magical effect
>>684172550
are you aware of the books (printed, not in game)
they are official canon
I do nothing, because Skyrim like all newer games level with you, bring a wooden stick to beat silly rats, gg no re because game is retarded easy if you stay at lvl 1.
>>684172490
Actually, that sounds awesome !
Do you know if you can harvest insulin from other humans ? Or animal ?
If I was sent into the past or Tamriel I'm pretty sure I'd be okay, and here's why
>average as fk white male
>spend the month meticulously researching pivotal battles in european history, i've already got rome, greece, england and france comfortably memorized
>immediately go to any church tell them i feel possessed by divine will
>serve, rise, never break character, use advanced knowledge to perform miracles maximum 3 times
>make sure to be on the winning side in history, tamriel is more fluid
spend my lifetime ordering niggas around and using fancy language to provide my sovereign with jus ad bellum
>>684174009
that's the worst idea for a home ever... you gonna get raped.. literally...molag bal is the god of rape...
then again, fitting hous for a /b/tard
>>684172550
Head to Solstheim. Become werewolf. Wait till night. Race though several regions before sunrise. Mystery solved.
I would be the only manly and non-cuck race of the game, a Redguard, of course.
>>684160556
I hate vidya games. My brother had me play morrowind elder scrolls for ps2. I knew twas a long tedious game in the beginning. I did discover that you could go into the mages guild and to the table to the left there was a bunch of expensive gems and weapons. Not the best but good for just starting out. run in grab them and leave.
It wasn't in the cheat books or anything and you have to get out before the guy at the end of the hall shoots you with his gay magic crap. Just a tip for you gamer terds.
>>684167646
terminator rules, got ya
>>684168162
>hardcore mountain
>>684161481
Lol
Decent shop life, not complaining
But make the most of your damn time, before you get skever AIDS
>>684175259
fuck it, just pray at a shrine, skever aids is now gone
Same things I do in my game
human trafficking
drug dealer
rape all elves
>>684174748
I thought we were jumping into the game as is. Molag leaves after the quest. Just shelter till upgrading to the solitude house.
>>684175721
Into the game just after the events of Helgen. If the Dragonborn is still alive and manage to exorcise the house, you cool.
>>684170325
Le autism meme
>>684173340
>eradicate all non humans
and miss out on all that yellow, green, blue, leathery and furry pussy? Oops, forgot black...
>>684175467
Talos can't help you
>>684176777
then i'll go for a potion
>>684176616
>implying that redguard could be eradicate
Left Whiterun... Got killed by mudcrabs
>make lydia fall in love with me
>marry her
>start watching hee fuck redguards in front of me
>>684176899
How is an NPC like yourself going to purchase a potion,
let alone the curing potion for Skaids?
Import flue
Wait (28 days)
Own Whiterun
>>684160556
>How fucked up are you ?
no idea, never played skyrim, but they have elves, right?
and other humanoid chicks.
NO MATTER WHAT, NOTHING COULD STOP ME. BRING IT ON!
>1 month to prepare for living in an inn and maybe opening a market stall
OH NO! WHATEVER WILL I DO!
>>684177841
>implying the current Inn owner has a reason to give his Inn to a /b/tard
>implying you have anything of value to sell
>>684178311
>give his inn
You know what an inn is, don't you?
>>684160556
I would learn how to make an atom bomb then sell one to the stormcloaks
>get bomb
>sell arms
>profit?
Don't end up like this little fucker
<be summoned to a parallel world with only
smartphone + jersey + sneakers + junk food
>>684178613
Did I say something making you think otherwise ?
But you did imply that you would live in an Inn for the rest of your life for free.
>>684179310
Yes. I said I would live in an inn and you assumed this meant that I would be given the inn, like the retard you are. Nowhere did I mention a lack of monetary compensation. In fact, I alluded explicitly to a method of acquiring money to pay for the room. Good job, retard.
>>684178738
but you should keep your arms tho anon
>>684179547
No I'd rather oll around on my ass like a sick worm
>>684179509
using elaborate word/phrasing and saying "retard" in the same response setence...
confidence issues/10
bad bait
What would you guys bring with a 575 pound limit?
>>684180066
575 lbs of gummi bears
>>684180057
>elaborate
If any of that was "elaborate" to you, then you need to see a retard specialist.
>>684161624
>implying
Just offer some kind of quest to passing adventurers to become a vital NPC which can only be knocked unconscious.
>>684166801
your character ≠ you
Become a Vampire Lord get me some evernight arrows or whatever they are called....terrorize every fucking town. Don't need to many skills....Kill everyone I can except Cicero...I <3 Cicero ehh I'll leave Serena alive too I like her as well.
>>684160556
I'd use my knowledge of plants to make potions, I'm already an average archer and in a month could get enough practice to go out and shoot rabbits/ bandits. Maybe become a traveling potion merchant collecting ingredients as I go.
I'm certainly no dragonborn but I'm not a milk drinker either.
>Read ALL of the lore
>Either seclude myself and try to achieve CHIM or find a way to abuse my knowledge of future events
>>684169402
"She's also killed dragons and dremora, but please tell me what kind of sauce your pour on your pasta"
>>684181299
>not a milk drinker
I have 1 month to figure out what the fuck you're talking about and then prepare.
I'll probably be okay.
>>684160556
Skirim is shit, Minecraft is miles better.
>use basic knowledge of chemistry, medicine, and formidable mechanical knowledge to help everyone and become powerful
>claim to be from the stars
>become the ancient ayylmaos
When you are constantly strapped with an arsenal and the thread comes up
fucked i hope they have a wheelchair for me there. i'm not even strong. i'll have to be a mage make some portals for me to travel.
>>684160556
If i can get some khajits to work with me i could strart a skooma operation easily. Then marry me some nice nord qt.
>>684173340
elves come through and kill skyrim as radicals because the empire wont protect u
>gg nig u ded
>>684160556
Take a couple guns, a lot of ammo, water filter and filters/means to filter water, seeds of many kinds. Shit you know would help(our engineered corn, wheat, etc.) and bring a Shit ton of blueprints and recipes so that you can find the Karl or whiterun and offer to sell him technology such as steam engines or gunpowder. Make money. Earn Lydia by killing dragons with gun and armor piercing ammo. Fuck Lydia. Fuck Lydia more. Get buff. Fight that chick that becomes your companion. Start a farm. Develop connections in the guilds. Learn magic. Create industry. Find aela. Fuck aela. Become werewolf. Get armor. Train. Train. Train. Train. Train. Train. Block. Block. Block. Block. Craft dagger. Craft dagger. Craft dagger. Craft dagger. Profit.
>>684181775
>get burned for witchcraft
>>684181558
Hey I can defend myself, even if I'm only skilled in ranged combat.
Could you say the same?
>>684182030
>burned for witchcraft
It's a game that freely explores magic. Even Necromancy is tolerated if not accepted.
>>684160556
i'm pretty sure ill be fine..
Get me some Ysolda tail and run with the Thieves' Guild.
>>684182374
>>684160556
I'd probably find a trade in White run and find a place to live. Then I would practice magic every day when I'm off work and get high on skooma.
>>684181970
Oh shit . And learn how to make roofies. And bring required ingredients. And bring A LOT of roofies. Bosmer girls run too fast
>>684168927
>seed
Skyrim canabis mod it is real i kid you not...
>>684182980
XD!!!!!!
>>684165828
*tips fedora*
>>684163866
>visually similar images
fuckin thanks google, i just wanted to be lazy and not type the name
Beg my way up to affording a carage ride to Riverdale or whereever the thieves guild is.
Hangout in the streets until I find dead theives. Harvest their loot. Hire a merc to follow me around and join the theives guid.
Learn to pickpocket and pick pocket my gold back over and over again until Im a master pickpocker.
Then I'd sell my skills to the lowest bidder. Fuck the guild.
>>684183850
Yeah that was... ew
Here you are http://www.hentai-foundry.com/pictures/user/Velena/195831/Muthsera
>>684184302
autopsys are one thing, rotting corpses and gore are another, and that picture is neither
>>684168143
Get them bitches some salt. Bitches love salt.
