If it's not too late.
It's too late for me and it's still fucking with my head. You don't want this.
I still fucking love her /b/ros.
I can't help it.
Everything about her was absolute fucking perfection, and now she's gone.
I see her talking to other people, and how she and I used to talk that way, but now seems uninterested when we talk.
>I don't know what to do with myself anymore
Best of luck to you man. Nobody deserves that fate.
Thank you /b/ros.
what do i do /b/ros?
I can't bring myself to let go, but I just don't know if she ever wants to see me.
Fuck this, how do some people love so easily when it just leaves me fucking broken and battered?
I feel you /b/ro I don't wanna accept it either, but it's over. We tried what we could. We can't control others' feelings. I know it's hard. I can't tell you it will get better because it won't.
I don't mind darkness that much.
People don't seem to understand why I find it refreshing going for a walk in the middle of the night.
When it's light outside, I'd see couples, happy people and group of friends hanging out. It makes me feel alone, it makes the world seem large and overwhelming. It'll let you realize how alone you really are.
When it's dark outside, you're most likely alone, probably the only one in the park.
You won't see couples, happy people, or a group of friends having fun.
Walking alone in the dark isn't a bad thing for me. I won't feel alone, and I won't feel wrong. This is where I can truly think and reflect, maybe cry for a bit, which is okay because no one can see you cry anyways.
Well, of course I can't tell this to anyone. Otherwise I'd be seen as a week individual with feelings, and I can't let happen.
I love it outside at night
Sometimes I am doing motorcycle to where the sky is untouched by street lights and just watch the stars for one, two hours
That's where I can think freely, just like you, but as soon as I come home it's over so fast
And I just fall back into routine
I don't even really look at my surrounding anymore, I just kind of move my eyes around. If I really want to SEE the world I have to make a conscious effort, that I can only hold up for a few minutes...
Just kind of rambling, sorry, but know that I feel like you
My bipolar meds aren't enough to keep me level through the day, and I slept through yesterday's morning appointment with the pyshciatrist, so now I have to wait 2 more weeks before I can get the dosage upped. In the meantime, I have to function in the evening either over-excited or feeling like a steaming pile of shit.
Last night the person who knows me better than anyone told me she's been struggling about thoughts and feelings about me. She's the person that I've told EVERYTHING. She knows me as well as a person can know someone.
She thinks I'm a pervert. The secrets I've told her have been disturbing her for a while. She feels like she can't trust me. She intends to cut me off soon and never seeing me again. She has seen who I really am and wants nothing to do with it. She's really the only person in my life. I really am a worthless human being. A truly horrible person.