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Green text stories. These happened this week. >Be me, this

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Green text stories.
These happened this week.

>Be me, this monday 8:25 AM
>French class
>Portuguese not french
>All of my french class-mates including myself suck derriere
>Teacher want's us to talk more fluently
>Makes us stand in a circle
>She goes in the middle
>"I will choose a random person to come here."
>Beta faggot so i go cuz i dont wanna get my grades to drop.
>Tells me to raise my arms like im being pointed a gun, "spin like a beyblade" her words not mine, close my eyes, hold a fucking pen, fucking Hello Kitty pen.
>I ascend to the ultimate beta-fag i was intended to be
>"Now start talking bout urself, any random stuff, but make it in french."
>MFW i barely know how to pronounce baguette
>Obey her kinky sex fetish
>"Je suis portugais, je ais 17 ans, j'adore la musique, le ciné,etc..."
>Everyone laughs, including Miss Cunt
>Start laughing too
>Louder laugh, i look one of the guys is filming
>Next classes he shows the teachers, geography teacher almost chokes the bastard to see, history teacher who disses me constantly protected me.
>MFW im now known as MC Beyblade
Here's another one happened today (Friday, about 14:25 PM).

>Be sitting on a bench
>Waitin for bros
>Girl comes up to me, asks if she can take a sit next to me
>All benches are clear except for mine
>Browsing /b/
>I start laughing a bit
>She leans to see my phone
>Its a religion hate meme or some shit about them saying the earth is only 6k years old how come scientists say dinosaurs fossils are like 71k or some shit like that idk
>She says and i shit you not
>"You are laughing at the ignorant scientists right? Because they have no right to be dismissing the whole scripture of the Bible."
>I stand in awe of the +9000 Level of autism in front of me
>I never seen or talk to someone that dumb
>I stand up, i look her dead in the eyes, tell her she smells funny, and make a fart noise with my mouth. Then i leave
Just know...even if this thread dies, you made me laugh. Especially cause I failed French in high school and it was the only class I failed.
Appreciate it m8
You know, you could have left out the part where you told what you were looking at on 4chan and it still would've been obvious that you're an aspie social fuck up
Now before this i forgot to tell you she is my step sister
>be christmas eve night
>were talking quietly so parents don't hear us
>start masturbating because I was feeling alpha
>she says its gross
>She offers for me to go onto her bed so we can talk and hear each other
>don't fully remember everthing
>we talk about sex
>I ask for a blowjob
>she says no but if i rub her back she will let me eat her pussy
>give her back massage
>she falls asleep
>me sad and pussy blocked goes back to my cot
present day she doesn't even remember or doesn't want to admit it that we almost had sex
>je ais 17 ans

dubs don't lie
> Be me, sitting in boring ass English class
> School tries to help tards with social activities, so they make them take out the recylcing from each teacher's class
> Very specific "no bottles policy"
> Tards come to my room and ask for recycling
> I sit in the back by the recycling bin, so teavher asks me to bring it out to them
> This is the beginning of the year, so I'm unaware if the no bottles thing
> Tard spot bottle and digs through a weeks worth of paper to get it
> Throws the bottle with the strength of a thousand tards at my head
> Tard wrangler apologizes and conducts the tard train away
> idea.mpeg
> start collecting bottles from everyone around the school and leaving them outside the tard room.
> Everytime a tard sees one, they flip their shit
> One day I hit the jackpot
> Literally just a pile of bottles laying behing hye gas station by the school
> I'm already usually early, but I make sure to show up even earlier the next day with my mound of bottles.
> Find the tard recycling cart and dump my bottles onto it.
> Wait nearby until the tards show up
> Luckily, the tard that finds the box is the biggest most agressive oneat the school
> He lets out the mightiest roar I've ever heard
> Picks up cart and throws it at oeast 50 feet
>"Hoo dare put butles in my car"
> Tard obviously plays a lot of video games and shit
>Uses these experiences to try to sound intellegent
> Tard cart finally land just feet from the cafeteria window (my school has a massive courtyard)
> Tard wranglers run after him
> Tard runs away, barreling through students
> Tard wrangler manages to catch him
> Tard doesn't go down without a fight
> Bites right through the wranglers ear and trys to rip half of it off
> Other wranglers arrive
> Tard starts swing his arms trying to land as many punches as possible
> Wranglers finally get the tard under control
> First wrangler had to be taken to the hospital
> Other wranglers had black eyes and bruises
>be me
>being lazy
>you now just read this worthless greentext
Call me lazy raepekahs
you're the kind of kid that gets beaten up
Tell me sumthin i dont know
Post a pic of yourself so that we can see if your autism has manifested physically.
sleeping girls cant say no
just sayin
>6th grade
>Arrive to school and find girl sitting ass on top of MY desk
>Ask her to move
>"Yea hold up"
>Grab her whole bag and smash it on the floor
>Stomp that shit
>Group of girls looks horrified
>everyone shocked
>Im a dick
>Fuck I had a crush on this girl
>Same year
>Last day of school
>Sitting by the stairs with homies
>Kid walks by and drops trash
>Press the poor chap
>"Pick that shit up bitch"
>Pops sees me
>picks me up by backpack
>wiggles me in mid air
>Throws down my backpack
>Pick it up bitch
>Everyone laughs
>Never came back
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