hey guys so listen, i got like no fucking money, I will do fucking anything for money, whatever, i'm a writer and a cartoonist and i got a good voice i guess, i'm funny and expressive, and of course there are things any human can do, i'll do fucking WHATEVER, i just fucking need money you guys.
email [email protected] if interested
say "probably a 6" on vocaroo and i ll see if ur good kid.
>>684009634
k gimmie one second
i lied i ll never give you money sry bro but do it anyways thatd be nice
>>684009890
gl getting paper btw x)
>>684009890
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0R9UcnBXLbN
Whatever fuck you God I hate you
When do you need it?
>>684009890
what do you need it for anyway, you need voice acting? i'll do it for free anyway
>>684010253
Like, whenever, I mean i need it now but im gonna need it in a week or two weeks as well, i aint picky
>>684010304
It's just a meme. You do have a nice voice though.
OP I remember beebo. Also will 10 dollars do?
What are the other options man ? Are you sexy Irl?
Suppose I want you to shit your diaper publically?
>>684010552
THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKS
>>684010630
fuck YEAAAAH 10 bucks would do, oh SHIT, that would be THE BOOOOMB, also yeah man, beebo was funny, right? good times.
>>684010808
sigh...yeah im probably a 8
>>684010827
aaaah goddamn, i dunno, how much you paying bro
>>684010953
Do you play runescape?
virtual blowjob for whoever can give this junkie some drug money
Does your cute butt stink for daddy?
>>684011207
sure does
>>684011066
I do not, BUT, I can learn! you want me to farm for you? i can farm for you
>>684011353
Tell us how naughty you are with it?
>>684010953
actually if i was taller I'd be a 9, that's my one flaw. this one bitch friend of mine once went around the dinner table explaining how everyone has negative facial features got to me and said that she cant knock it
>>684011410
No I don't play runescape.
>>684011493
Very, so very fucking naughty
>>684011665
come on man
Can I like .. stay in this thread and talk to you? It'll bump the thread :-)
>>684011714
Do I need to make you post your poopy littlr boy panties?
>>684011876
whatever increases my chances
>>684010953
You don't have to be a cunt about it because I don't have alot of money you fucking selfish piece of shit.
>>684011940
Where you from ?
>>684011876
sorry i thought you were this guy
>>684011933
yeah man you can totally chat with me, its chill
>>684011933
Whatever daddy
>>684012058
DUDE, im SO SORRY, i actually was NOT being sarcastic, I SERIOUSLY WOULD APPRECIATE THE TEN, SEIROUSLY I WAS ACTUALLY EXCITED, PLEASE DONT GO
>>684012071
So cal
That's a bad boy and a little potty chair for you to
>>684012058
please god, i wasnt fucking joking, pleeeease dont go, i seriously was amped
>>684012132
??? Did you mix this up a bit
What's your favorite Rage against the Machine song?
>>684012365
Let's chat
>>684012449
nah i was saying, i thought YOU were the poopy guy, and i was saying, yeah bro lets chat its cool, sorry if that was confusing
>>684012716
You know its not a band I ever got into. I guess whatever was on Tony hawk
jokes huh. Very funny.
Who wants to do a poopy? Make daddy proud
>>684012058
PLEASE DONT GO OH MY FUCKING GOD PLEASE DONT BE GONE, I AM SO SORRY I SERIOUSLY NEED YOU,
ok i can see how that sounds sarcastic, too, maybe i should dial it back. but yeah, no actually what i should do is start replying vocaroo so you can hear how earnest i am
Sooo ... you wanna share what the money is for?
>>684013147
I want to do a poopy. I want to make daddy proud.
>>684013168
Food for me and my cat
>>684013265
That's right in front of all these people on b? Nice and big
>>684013521
And so my parents dont hate me for moving out and becoming destitute right away like a fucking moron
>>684013550
Of course daddy in front of everyone but it'll still be for you, especially
>>684013670
Mmm good baby. Pants, diaper or potty? Tell daddy
>>684013576
I mean ... what are you gonna do afterwards? Get a job?
>>684013939
Hopefully I land one soon, yeah
Man I am so goddamn pissed I scared away the one guy that was gonna hook it up, FUCK
>>684013867
Pants
>>684009353
fuck i hate beggars. take a long walk off a short ledge m8
>>684014256
Fuck off you faggot
He knows hes an asshole, dont rub it in now
>>684014256
Like the ledge of your thumbnail?
Oh wow. I haven't thought about Beebo the cat in a long time. What a great flash series. I'm going to go be sad about the inexorable passage of time now.
>>684014122
Good boy bend over and make a stinky
>>684014741
I dont know if you actually want me to now or what but i mean if youre paying i'll do whatever, seriously
Have you sold some of your useless personal belongings?
>>684014388
true, i am fully aware i suck
>>684014631
that shit was so goddamn funny back in the day, huh
>>684015285
And you'll smile and say "I'm daddy's little stink butt"
>>684015616
yep, sold them aaaaaaaaaaaaall. I own nothing besides the guitar my father gave me which i refuse to sell, and my dell latitude laptop which i got for free. I have three things I got on Craigslist which are the last things i was gonna sell cause i wanted to give them to someone but fuck it
>>684009353
get a credit card and spend it off than just cancel it when ur done
>>684015727
I will do whatever, but we gotta talk money
>>684015895
I dont think I'd even be approved, but maybe
Mmm how much? Doesn't it make you crazy hard?
I will give u money to be my friend
lets say £100
Got any sincere emails yet, op :-) ?
>>684015952
You nervous? Hahah
>>684016424
It does make me crazy hard, for shitting in my pants and posting the picture of my shit in pants on /b/, fifty bucks. 25 up front another 25 afterwards? is that about right? or is that too high?
>>684016496
dude seriously i would love you forever, thank you god
>>684017151
lemme check
i said [email protected] right? yeah nothing yet
>>684017545
That could work suppose I want your smiling face?
>>684017191
i mean, im more depressed than nervous
>>684017793
uuuuuuuuuuh, how about 40 then.
Ok but why depressed?
>>684017793
i mean, nah i aint posting my fucking face on fucking 4chan, bro, i mean, look, you wanna email me? we can do this shit right now, we can fucking do this but i gotta have your word, i gotta know who you is, i dont this shit getting out, this has to be legit and honest
>>684018284
No money, im hungry, cats pissed, life sucks
whats the money for OP
>>684009353
Blow me
>>684018548
Drugs
>>684018548
so i can live, and feed my cat at the same time.
You poor thing I can't make you it doesn't sound like you're ready to stink your butt my boy...sigh
>>684018835
this was not me, i aint spending this shit on drugs. though how i did end up with no money is kind of a funny story
>>684018867
I WILL DO IT, YOU HAVE TO FUCKING EMAIL ME, god, you know this is fucking, like youre already taking advantage of someone who is in a shitty position just do it or dont do it
and i am SO pissed, SOOOOOOOOOO PISSED THE DUDE WITH THE TEN BUCKS LEFT.
and what about the guy with the 100 british-dollars!?? hes gone too?? uuuuuuch
>>684018912
Tell the story then, friend
>>684019122
>100 british dollars
>>684019136
friends took me out to a strip club and bought me drinks, I meant to take out 2 bucks and give it to the stripper, afterwards she got off stage and started asking if i want a dance and im like no no no and shes like well that was very generous and im like what? and apparently i gave her A HUNDRED AND FIFTY BUCKS, and me and all my friends tried to explain it was accident but nope, she and all the other women and people working there wouldn't have it.
Have you tried pan handling? Not a permanent solution but it could land you some cash to get you by a few days-weeks.
>>684020336
set up a donations page or somethin
How old are you? You may have said it already but I missed it. What about prospects? Surely you didn't just peace out of your rent's house with no plan.
I'd love to help but how do I trust you? You just need a good cum to feel better
Try online surveys or if you've got nothing else, spend all day on swag bucks. You can rack up gift card points by watching ads and shot pretty quick.
>>684021281
do online surveys actually work in getting money?
>>684021017
nah im a fucking moron, im 25, no education, moved to LA to do stand up, its way fucking harder making it than i expected. Saved up money but its blown. I don't get money from my folks again for a long time.
>>684020461
You mean like street begging like a hobo? I mean, i dont know. I guess I could.
I'll throw you $20 bucks to see a video of you spitting on someone's shoes. Only if you make it clear that it was intentional. I'd love to see their reaction
>>684009353
Ehh beebo how's it hangin
>>684021281
aight, sounds kinda good, thanks i might give it a shot.
>>684021277
Is this the poop guy again? what are you talking about now? email me if youre serious
>>684021604
hahaha this guy gets it.
>>684021555
I'll probably do it, email me so we dont lose contact, aight? tonight theres a lot of hipsters walking around, I'll do it to one of them so i dont get knocked the fuck out by a cholo
Try talking to some of the more affluent churches in your area. I've known some to give out small one time loans. Don't be afraid to ask for help before its too late. Wouldn't want you and your cat to end up living in a refrigerator box.
Stand up? Any jokes OP ?
:-)
>>684018912
Explain why you're broke
Do you want to poop like really want to?
fuck this guy
another broke dick poor anon here who cant feed himself nor his dogs..
also i would like to be able to see my mother but she is also broke and needs 50$ to be able to get to me.. if anyone would like to help feed me and my dogs or be a saint and help me see my mother her paypal is
[email protected].. anything helps really and i will do whatever you fuckers want.. im seriously hungry and desperate.
>>684022042
I get very little money a month from my folks to live on, if you the story above About the strip club you see how I accidentally lost a fuck ton of money, now I'm broke for the next month
>>684022519
Go make your own thread anon. But dont expect me to bump it. Smh just hijacking like that. Its not cool you worm.
>>684022543
THAT WAS NOT ME. yes, I, OP, like I said before, will do and say whatever you want, yes I wanna do poop like you're a god or whatever. Just email me even tho it seems like you're a troll at this point for sure
>>684022543
Your a big boy now!
>>684022519
You probably aint even willing to spit on shoes or shit your pants OR eintertain /b/
Fuck you
>>684022839
fuck you dude im starving and my dogs dont have much longer to live
they dont deserve to starve while also dying
i have applied for jobs everywhere but i dont even have a bicycle im so poor so i have to walk everywhere and nobody wants to hire me
i also would like to see my mother as she is far away and is working her ass off sleeping in her fucking car every night because she cant afford a hotel as she just started working again
im starving and starvation makes people do desperate things..
if anyone will help me out ill do whatever disgusting shit you pyschos would like to see.
You could always join the military
>>684023128
gimme a good faith portion of money and i will make a video of me spitting all over my asshole brothers shoes.. try me i will deliver unlike OP's faggot ass
>>684023349
Listen anon ... Fuck you.
>>684023706
suck my dick you failed comedian.. stop talking and deliver you asshole these anons are offering you money and u wont even work for it.
FUCK YOU BUDDEH
Email sent
>>684023880
That wasn't me. But I'm not a failed comedian dummy, I just started
>>684024016
tell me a joke then
entertain me mr. entertainer
>>684023349
OP here again, I'd like to see my mom too bitch but I ain't trying to beg people for a vacation you ass
>>684024170
Aight hold up lemme get vocaroo up
>>684023880
Im not your buddy pal
>>684024255
theres a difference between a vacation and seeing your mother for a fucking weekend whom you never see
also i really am just asking for money for dog food and some mcdonalds or something because im hungry as shit and so are muh doggies
you are just another faggot OP who wont deliver jack shit
>>684024514
im not your pal, fwiend
>>684024401
do it and ill send u some prayers.. all i got as i said before im dirt broke[:
>>684024773
Uhh ... what
>>684024925
i want to fuck the crazy out of those eyes holy shit shes hot
Check the email stinky
You could get a job OP.
>>684025054
U think so anon?
>>684025216
he has a good ass job, he's a comedian
louis ck makes plenty shillbux[;
>>684025335
no not with that hair.. u ruined my boner
>>684010133
For a sec I thought that was broteam pill
You Canadian?
so yeah i really dont wanna commit a crime tonight can any rich anon send me some money and ill do whatever you want.. no self mutilation tho plz.. well for the right price ill do whatever i have to actually.. [email protected]
>>684025439
Oh man ... sorry anon i thought youre an eye guy
>>684025877
>eye am but that hair was just a helluva turn off
>>684024401
Op here, sorry it took forever, anyway this one usually does well at the open mics
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ROnqAgtnoZ
>>684025815
somebody have a heart and at least help me feed my dogs if nothing else.. they dont deserve to starve in their last days here.. im really bummed out about that shit. u can see in their eyes how sad and hungry they are
>>684025493
What's broteam?
Nah I was born in LA, moved away when I was a kid tho
>>684026289
Srsly get your own damn thread
>>684026199
Uhh ...
>>684026199
...maybe consider a new line of work buddy
i really was hoping to at least get a grin but uhh you are just not funny man
thats seriously the best you have? like fuck dude.. and fuck you im staying in your thread till it dies cause im scum and i have much better reasons than you to be begging on 4chan for neetbux
>>684026491
kill yourself
>>684026199
i laughed more at a fucking puppet show than that.. seriously i cringed imagining you saying that shit joke live on a stage
you need to be more self aware of how shit you are at this comedy shit..
who tf convinced you it would be a good idea to move to LA?!
you know there are hundreds of undiscovered comedians that are 100x funnier than you
>Sam Hyde for example is hilarious
where did you go OP??
>>684026199
Come on OP you can do better than that ... that wasnt an actual joke right? just trying to get sympathy right?
>>684027330
he got butthurt and abandoned thread i think.. well anyway im still here and seriously who wants to help me and my pups eat/see my mother possibly?
ill do whatever guys and i will deliver.
>[email protected]
make my dreams a reality /b/
i believe in you.
>>684027626
do you play runescape?
>>684027626
I didn't get butt hurt, I had to run out for something , I'm still here, damn
>>684027330
Nah that's an actual joke, people respond to it and find it funny, you wanna hear another one that usually works?
>>684027720
not anymore bud.. why?
>>684027764
wanna try another joke? i seriously want you to make me laugh because i dont believe thats the best u got OPie
>>684027626
Exactly how well do you speak english on the phone? May have something good
>>684027094
I told the joke and people laugh every time, also I get off stage and another comic who been here more established came up to me and said I got good personality . maybe I said it super stale on the recording or some shit, I dunno , I didn't listen to it, I'm hustling
>>684027956
very well.. what u want me to do?
>>684027908
Aight , hold up. I got one that usually works lemme get vocaroo up and shit
I think I see you're problem. You're a cartoonist. You have no life skills. You also have no real direction, or goals. No credentials, no intentions to get a job that pays, and no life. Am I getting to the root of the problem? No, I won't give you any money. I work for it doing a job that pays, and I'm not just going to give it to some loser who draws animated shit for a "living." Which we both know you don't make any money to sustain yourself.
>>684028060
Impersonate costume support
>>684028060
Dude fuck you , I can't fucking believe this shit, I'm legit mad, like I don't care if that makes you a successful troll, I'm fucking raging right now
>>684028043
No it just ... isnt really a good concept ... do another joke please.
>>684028225
No one cares
>>684028164
okay, by the way im the other poor anon who joined late.. so dont be such an asshole to me im supporting ur comedy
>>684028251
shut the fuck up?
>>684028232
more details if imma do this imma do it well.. OP..
>>684028460
OP HES STEALING YOUR JOB
>>684028460
..unlike OP and his shit comedy*
GG btw
If I give you money, I would be giving you a fish for a day. You would learn to rely on others for your daily food. You'd rely on handouts. But if I tell you to fuck off and create a resume, and find a job to earn your money like a normal person, I would be handing you a fishing rod and teaching you how to feed yourself. This will feed you for a lifetime.
>>684028251
Well then you deserve your condition. If you cant let the rules away for some time you Will fail
>>684028687
you know if i hadnt already applied for so many jobs i would be inspired by this post but like i already said i dont have a vehicle or even a bike so nobody wants to hire a guy that doesnt have reliable transportation/:
i appreaciate the knowledge though /b/ro
>>684028689
I earn from people's greed. I personally think its awesome
by the way this is me.. can post proof if needed.. idk i thought it might be interesting to some anons
send neetbux to [email protected]
btw its funnier than your shitty jokes how mad you are rn OP.. hahaha
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1glyElY8qQc
>>684029481
heres proof
lost my giant weed bag and repainted my walls but u can tell its me
>>684029928
okay dude its the guy you hate rn but im going to honestly judge this
listening now..
trash.. you are garbage and probably should toast yourself
>>684028689
What?
I asked this guy to spit on shoes like an hour ago and even sent an email to no reply. This is disappointing me. I recend my initial offer of $20
>>684028566
Yeah der. Hopefully the next thread will go better
>>684030383
send it to me instead dude ill do it right fucking now
[email protected]
>>684030383
NOOOOOO, come on, I told you I said I'd do it at night when the hipsters are out , it's all cholos right now, cmon just gimmie a chance
>>684030435
im going to be in your next thread dude.. believe that
anywhere you are begging i will be begging twice as hard
SELL YOUR FUCKING PC
GL OP ... I hope someone becomes your sugar daddy
>>684030810
hell no dude i need this shit to hunt down OP's begging threads and derail them for the rest of eternity
i was gunna say for the rest of his comedy career but i have a feeling it wont be that long[;
>>684020336
Damn dude, I was honestly considering helping you out there. But after hearing that, no fucking way. Have fun, I'm out
>>684031029
THEY GOT ME DRUNK
>>684030810
its not a pc its a DELL LATITUDE LAPTOP, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT WOULD EVEN GET ME? JACK SHIT, IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A MIC OR CAMERA
>>684031029
HAHAHAAHAH HOLY FUCK OP YOUR DYING IN THIS THREAD WORSE THAN ON STAGE @ THEM COMEDY CLUBS
IM FUCKING DYING OVER HERE DUDE U MADE MY NIGHT
>>684031185
>MAKES VACAROOS
>DUDE IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A MIC
seriously you went full retard just then OP..
>>684024671
>and some mcdonalds or something
Jeesus christ, if some anon would chime in you'd seriously go out and buy fucking mcdonalds instead of noodles and rice and stuff which will have you nourished for so so much longer?
Damn, I was homeless for some time and I'd never go to mcdonalds. That's just throwing the money away.
>>684031207
sweet. isnt it funny to think tho that if we were all in person we'd probably all just be having a good time and chilling and shit? im actually not angry anymore, im just kinda, i dunno, lucid. anyway, enjoy raping my threads for eternity and shitting on my comedy, its probably gonna be fun
>>684031304
it was on my phone. i said in the recording i was outside.
>>684031207
Be nice now anon ... lets be pleasant to eachother
>>684031313
i wasnt serious dude i fucking hate mcdicks.. if i really got money i planned on feeding my puppers first before myself
>>684031446
tbh ur totally right i imagine me and you would get along swell.. but instead im on /b/ begging for money and raping your threads/:
>>684031486
tell another joke bro
>>684031687
i second this.. tell more jokes until i laugh
entertain me[;
guys i think i pushed OP to kill himself..
>>684031829
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1glyElY8qQc
>>684032431
>glad you are still alive and didnt toast yourself OP
I don't care much about OP's problems but I saw someone posting Sky
good luck though dog
>>684032431
come join my own personal hell maybe we can both get some neetbux
>>684032641
>>684032821
pssh, that shits too expensive, cheap ways to die are too painful
>>684033030
pussy/
U WANT A CYBERBEGGING WAR OP?! YOU GOT ONE YOU SON OF A BITCH
DUDE SOME RICH ASSHOLE IS GUNNA SEND ME NEETBUX HOLY SHIT
>>684034411
yeah or he's trolling you. have you learned nothing? this is OP btw. we might be more alike than i originally thought.
>>684034583
no we are nothing alike
the difference between me and you is im a persistent fucker who doesnt give in and get mad at trolls.. unlike you who literally went to my new thread to shitpost, failed, and showed your power levels(autisms) to everyone
This thread has lasted longer than expected. Started with great potential, but now it seems that it would take a miracle for anything to come of it.
>>684034836
if you say so. I see someone getting excited at a troll, I dont know, that just suprised me, seemed like human and kinda honest and niave. I liked it, to me thats all i needed. i know we'd get along in person.
>>684034949
eh probably.. im actually really good with people and can get along with basically anyone
if we met IRL i would buy you a beer/some weed
>>684034949
Yeah but it was fun though . as soon as it's done I'll post another, prolly gonna be at it all night. I think me and other beg anon have a new hobby
>>684035628
this post was actually meant to be a reply to
>>684035363
>>684035628
Same, very personable. And thanks mane B}
>>684035742
I know
>>684035761
all in all.. tonight was a success .. by the way i was same fagging my entire thread.. i didnt get a dime from anyone tonight.. you?
>>684035918
Maybe. I mean i still have shit boy and i talking about money, i dont know what his deal is, and then this other guy just told me he is legit about getting me money but cant get it to me til tomorrow, so that might be good, just have to see
>>684035918
im gonna keep going all night, i got nothing else going on, besides cursing god and my stomach
>>684036529
eh i quit.. good luck with getting money though man, seriously i hope u get some money so u can eat.. nobody deserves to go hungry
totally serious rn
>>684036745
thanks man, same to you, hope your dogs are ok and you get to see your mom
>>684037564
me and you
>>684038315
both
