YLYL - greentexts that you lost to
Pizza /b/ro
>>683952525
fucking faggot, don't ruin this fuckin' thread, you filthy squat user
>>683950060
I lose every time to this
Been waiting to tell the story of Donovan
Okay here it goes.
>Be me
>Be in high school
>sitting in gym one day waiting for the teacher
>this one tard named donovan
>donovan gets up and goes to the sports equipment closet
>he throws out everything and gets out a big exercise ball
>Donovan bounces around shrieking like a total moron
>He falls off
>Some kid laughs at him and says "FAG"
>donovan grabs a jumprope and wraps it around the kids neck
>the kid is strugguling as donovan chokes more tightly
>the teacher walks in
>Donvan imediatley lets go and runs out into the hallway into the girls bathroom
>The teacher follows but calls the female guidance counseler to get him out
>The rest of us watch
>we hear a loud scream as the counseler leaves covering her face and running back to her office
>Tard wrangalers show up
>Donovan bolts out of the bathroom
>Tard wranglers can’t catch him
>school goes on lockdown as donovan roams the hallways shrieking
>i watch from the gym window as he runs back and fourth
>I see him running with a pair of scissors
>Oh god
>i hear a really loud scream. louder than anything I’ve heard that day
>everyone walks outsideto see what happened
>the school psychologist is bleeding with scissors shoved in her stomach
> several men walk in. ( I dont know if they were wranglers or police or some kind of service funded by the institution)
>They tranquilize donovan and remove him as the paramedics arrive to take care of the school counselor.
Not many people posting in this bread i see
>>683954809
anymore stories of him?
>>683955320
Story worth reading?
>>683955320
He sometimes will nose dive into kids during gym. I lose my shit everytime
>>683955276
The only funny part about this is how it was some beta faggot telling everyone his fantasies
>>683949437
Since of Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"-------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body muscle movement caused/since of energies at human caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity of in of body so...body muscle flexing of human of living of tensing/slackening of muscle;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/-------"_:-_
I got/received a text of communication/question/ask of technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies of machines far of miles:_"\_ Everyone knows this already. How do you fix it. _/"_:-_ . I am of communication/answer/reply of letter of word of language of text of:_"\_ Humans of policing/military live of:_[\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles since of brain of body of since of human of living of brain of body of since of sense/sensation of communication/text/speech of computer program software of language of words of anything/everything/eachthing/allthings of human of living of _{-\_[-\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles _/-]_{--\_[--\_ and _/--]_ and _[--\_ or _/--]_/--}_[-\_ flexing of muscles so of living of muscle of nearer and and or farther of muscle _/-]_/-}_/]_:-_/"_:-_ .
>>683955970
i have seen this before, where is it from?
>>683954809
More please
>>683954005
lost !
>>683950640
> squits
>>683955276
I always look at these and wonder why people act like saying something like that is such a big deal.
Just style it out you fucking autists.
>>683949437
>not recognizing the reference
i doubt anyone here does
gonna drop some
>>683949969
Lost hard
>>683955518
it's alright, quite well written.
>>683958349
Philip Jonson Fry?
>>683959936
I once went to a bar with 8 others all dressed as nazgul. Barman wasn't best pleased when we tried to pay in chocolate gold coins.
Anyone have the rest of this?
>>683960879
it usually takes a crane to get her out
>>683949437
lost to that holy shit,
>>683950375
I have a favorite greentext now.
>>683955970
At least you removed the fake ass youtube video
>>683956381
Its like a constantly evolving copypasta
>>683961810
I originally didn't read that because of the quality but now that I've read it, it's my favorite as well
>>683955827
>>683957806
>>683955276
Nooo .. it's not that
"you too"
was a big deal
She/he had a dick! That's the plot twist
>Be asleep in big boy bed
>Hear mommy and D'Andre fighting
>Time to save mommy
>Jamal to the rescue!
>Runs downstairs, sees things he dun understand
>Table with razor blades and white lines of powder
>Camera on tripod
>Mommys naked, D'Andre is putting his peepee in her. He's hurting mommy!
>Runs and interrupts
>WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED?!
>Freaking out
>D'ANDRE, CAN YOU PLEASE DEAL WITH HIM?
>Jamal gets lifted up by his arm
>Ow ow ow ow
>Mommy watches with angry eyes as son gets dragged upstairs
>D'Andre can't make the kid shut up
>SHUT YO ASS UP LIL BITCH
>Slams door, comes back downstairs
>They try to continue fucking, but can't do it over Jamal's screams
>D'Andre runs up the stairs
>The thought briefly comes into Mommys mind
>Maybe shouldnt have stopped taking birth control
>Sounds of commotion coming from upstairs
>Huge thuds, Jamal screaming louder
>D'Andres gigantic, Piston-like arms violently shaking Jamal and throwing him into walls
>Jamal finally submits to his injuries, his body thrown down the stairs
>D'Andre and mommy finish up before they call it in
>Jamal dies in hospital
>The last thing he sees is mommy sitting, grinning at a GoFundMe page
>Jamal's soul floats up to heaven
>Walks up to St. Peter at the gates
>St. Peter points to sign
>Whites only
>Clouded ground drops out from little Jamal
>Falls down a chasm of eardrum shattering explosions and screaming
>Gigantic pool of lava below, bodies thrashing around moaning, floating and on fire
>It gets hotter and hotter as Jamal falls closer to the lake of fire
>Jamal screams as his body starts to catch fire
>Diaper immediately incinerates upon impact
>Jamal loses sense of time, could be seconds, could be centuries
>His light brown flesh melts off his little bones, over and over
>Sheeit.jpg
>>683958932
Datura is fucked up lol
>>683960422
This is fucking gold please tell me someone else has the rest
>>683949906
>chick had a baby
>didn't even bother to get a babysitter for sex
>friends are huge faggots who automatically assume the worst of each other
Sounds like this guy got saved from being cucked and got rid of a bunch of shitty fake friends in the same night.
>>683960422
THANK YOU SO MUCH
I HAVE SEARCHED EVERYWHERE FOR THIS
MADE MULTIPLE REQUESTS ON /B AN /R
The last time I seen this it was incomplete
but atleast now I have a better chance of finding the rest
>>683962597
>>683963474
No problem. Trying desperately to find the rest as well. Will drop the rest if I ever find it
>>683964553
off by 2 killing my self now
>>683964553
>off by 2
>>683964665
>off by 1
>>683964665
off by one anon
>>683962417
Best greentext ever
>>683959004
lost it :'-)
where do all these hundreds of pepe come from?
>>683954809
Pretty gud
BUMP
>>683960879
So she's saying that if you are not sexually attracted to her t's because your dick is too small?
What a retarded fucking bitch.
>>683964785
what means off by one? my english is not that good
>>683965960
I don't understand
>>683966424
Summer's here
>>683965968
Basically
Would still fuck though
>>683949437
Something like this happened in my family, my grandmother and her sister married my grandfather and his brother. My cousin is my double cousin. If they had a lot of kids it would have been weird.
>>683966442
Its d&d shit
here bud
>>683966476
cut the fucking summer shit out allready, what a bullshit
>>683965960
these are always great
>>683966476
Summer solstace doesn't begin until June 20th
Fuckass dick niggaer as bitch facefuck faggot fucking barbeque on my cock slather my ass nigger big ass face having little bitch fuck fac fac fac
Thanks:: Topicaslalsl
Autismnnnnnnn
s
>>683957347
the mental image is worth it 7/10
Some more DnD story.
>>683958349
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2akFlmUe3g
>>683949437
so win lmao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AvG6q_iTcA
>>683966644
Nice
>>683967777
check em faggots
>>683957347
Good show.
>>683967346
Someone needs to make that a GIF or something because that is really annoying
>>683955276
lurking m8
>>683957347
i always lose to this
>>683966644
lost hard
>>683968197
Road rage makes you think the weirdest shit
>>683960079
Didn't see that coming.
>>683950640
Lost
>>683949437
not to be a dick, but that's literally the lyrics to norwegian artist Øystein Sundes "I Am My Own Grandpa"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tU4g29QbW7o
>>683969260
You just discover that did you champ?
>>683967777
oh shit nigger
>>683966689
God damn I still make this joke with my fiancee
>>683960043
i just lost so fucking hard at work. Everyone in my office is giving me the weirdest fucking look.
>>683954005
lost
>>683969362
why no, i am from Norway champ
explains why I have an "Ø" on my keyboard doesn't it?
>>683953700
It's ok, this is nothing new. They'll all get bored in a couple of weeks.
not greentext but always lose
>>683966442
Basically, guy was playing in a group of emo faggot who wnted grimdark character.
He played a funny character all the way, but when DM was tired of emo shit, he prepared his character for transforming into a Lich (most evil act possible in base D&D) by killing everyone in the party.
>Seems like a happy gnome
>Is a psychopath traitor
>Sacrifice every other team member
>Just to gain spell that won t serve
>kill last member himself
>>683955095
Lost to this
>>683954005
>"I don't like hornets"
>>683967248
>>683967647
>>683969260
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I'm_My_Own_Grandpa
>>683950779
Lost, fuck thats funny as shit
>>683971512
lost kek
>>683958618
House party on a Tuesday in September... Nice try
>>683968303
BUMP
>>683955320
Glorious.
>>683950779
Shut fuck
>>683960422
Bumpin for the rest still
>>683973631
>ironicyiff
Dafuq
>>683958932
nice one
>>683959110
I feel sad for that dude
>>683950640
Lost
>>683973659
Sounds like something I would do.
>>683959936
the dream
>>683955095
>Get dressed in light body armor
Sounds like smart thing to do.
>Hey let's see a movie
>Can't, my body armor is in repairs
>>683949437
holy fuck! lost.
>>683972108
Wonderful, long but worth every minute
>>683949437
it's a 1930's song
i'm my own grandpa
>>683972108
Not bad
>>683955518
Believable. And noice.
>>683960422
IT IS GLORIOUS
>>683949437
Lost
>>683970831
not the guy who asked but thanks mate
>>683972108
worth the read
>>683949969
lost
>>683960422
shieeet I didn't know grills could be so based. 10/10 would be friends with
>>683960422
Is there more?
>>683960422
How old is this one?
>>683972108
so dude literally broke the game hahaha
>>683977872
>3/16/14
>>683954005
sounds like joel
>>683977872
3/16/14 by the timestamp
>>683972108
Raw spirit can melt town shields.
>>683976383
You re welcome
>>683950375
lost
>my ability to fucking see, you piece of shit
>>683973659
Didn t got the joke, not native speaker, anyone care to explain?
Q-Lomb -> Coulomb I get it, but why did the girl got so upset?
>>683980003
>>>683950375
because Q-Lomb in english is an expression which is highly offensive to women of mexo-americanic descent.
>>683950038
lost
>>683965960
Do you have the one where the party has the pregnant NPC with them, and when they reach the end boss the assassin comes out of her womb and kills the boss in one hit?
>>683971512
I had a similar experience so this was more cringe than funny tbh.
>>683981171
Sounds autistic as fuck
>>683954052
fucking lost
>>683960422
I got it
its in "mint" condition hehe
Be me
>Be 2016
>Another glorious day in USM (United States of Minions)
>Wake up to my minion alarm-clock
>"BEE DOO BEE DOO BEE DOO"
>Shit I'm fucking late for work!
>Quickly rush and throw on my goggles.
>Head out to my car and book it to the minion-doll factory.
>Boss notices I forgot my blue-overalls
>He looks pissed
>Hear him walking over...
>"TA TA TA BALA TU"
>I just blankly nod in agreement with his gibberish and sigh.
>He hands me a written warning
>it says "banonina! bee doo bee doo!"
>Be 6 hours later
>Workday finally over.
>Head to my car and pop in my government-mandated mixtape
>My car and all other cars blasting "I'm havin' a bad bad day. It's about time I get my way."
>Finally get home...
>Head inside and decide to watch some youtube videos.
>All video games released in last year are about minions... so I cant' watch any good streamers.
>All advertisements are minions.
>Decide to watch porn instead.
>Hit genres on pornhub
>Minion-kakke
>Minion-double penetration
>Minion-anal.
>notmycupofteabutohwell.jpeg
>Begin to rub one out
>Minion getting fucked making weird noise
>"Butt... baboi... butt baboi!"
>Roommate busts in the door
>He's wearing a giant minion-costume
>Screams "BELLO!"
>>683981171
what the fuck man
>>683983117
god bless
>>683983117
>683983117
based anon
>>683981171
It was a rogue that hid up a prostitute's ass.
>>683954005
Holy shit fucking kekd so hard
>>683983117
I love you
>>683957554
Best one
>>683970542
Fml can't stop laughing at this
>>683954052
>IF YOU DON'T JIGGLE YOU GET THE DICKLE
My sides
>>683970831
Sounds familiar
>>683963224
Stfu
>>683983398
>The fact that the first guy posted the first thing
>The fact that you recognised the thing
>The fact that your explanation of the truth changes it from wtf to slightly different wtf
Never change, /b/.
>>683985238
thanks Israel
>>683967777
/k/ in one image
>>683985361
And here it is.
>>683954052
My fucking hero ^.^
>>683949969
damn. lost to this one. always a gud wun
>>683983117
Youre awesome. Saved and going to read when I get home
>>683987323
WHEN WILL ALABAMA LEARN, Incest simply isn't worth it people!
>>683988375
you might be ranting now. But as soon as Trump or Clinton is on office you'll cry for him to come back.
>>683987323
okay, lost
>>683988375
>>683988623
I read that as Obama... Sorry.
>>683988738
Typical alabama, blaming it all on obama. As a eurofag I'm currently both laughing my ass of and shitting myself looking at the US presidential elections.
I'm considering starting a refugee camp for amerifags fleeing trump btw, would that be something you'd be interested in? You would have to give up guns and V8 tho
>>683950060
Lost.
Wtf
>>683971320
op is awesome
>>683989689
What about them all fleeing clinton.
>>683954052
Anon, my sides
>>683983398
Holy shit yes! This is the one, I've been looking for it forever and can't find it
>>683983117
I don't fucking get it.
>>683949437
Lost
>>683983117
>>683988265
Kind of anticlimactic, I wish there was more
>>683962265
>>683957554
I will be getting a visit from the police soon because of this domestic abuse to my sides.
>>683990421
Western europe would not be all that keen on an influx of uneducated racist cousin-lovers, to put it mildly.
>>683992899
France?
>>683972108
This was beautiful. Someone should make a comic of this
>>683986131
Holy shit thank you anon. It has been a long time.
>>683994330
>VOTING FOR TRUMP
my sides.
Also, he should go for Anna.
>>683993574
Marihuana central, take a guess.
>>683989689
i have to keep my truck
bamafag here
just happened by now
keep the thread alive faggots
>>683960879
Sad to lose at this one. I dont want the chubs breaking in my house at two in the morning, and yes I said breaking in, not breaking into, because we all damn well know the only way they get into a house is through the roof.
>>683994330
kek
One of my favourites.
>>683998177
not greentext I now realise
funny anyways
>>683998177
THE FUCKING LAST PIC
FUCKING KEK
>>683960079
god i fucking kek'd at this and i dont know why
>>683998177
lost
>>683950640
Goddamnit I lost so hard
>>683992899
>>683989689
>blaming it all on obama
>I'm considering starting a refugee camp for amerifags fleeing trump btw
>influx of uneducated racist cousin-lovers
so much hatred for White People.
you are not European, jew or abdul or nigger. die, scum.
>>683958932
I love these stories, I'm actually crying right now
>>683985240
He's right tho
>>683959110
we need more of this
>>683994330
>jew? Hope not
>>683958349
I loved The Stupids
>>684001141
Im hard now
>>684004136
i'd rather count to 99
>>683960079
So.
Fucking.
Unexpected.
>>683994330
>can't wait for cummies
Fucking lost my shit
>>683955095
lost hard, especially to "quick shootout" with the UPS guy
>>683979802
this post made me laugh more than anything in this thread
>>683955518
why are so many of these so low res
>>684006785
They've been reposted so many fucking times
>>683950993
Weak
>>683958932
>I have no brother
my fucking sides
>>683962350
This is some like 12 year old offensive shit, the most reddit possible /pol/ meme
>>683971320
That nigga slayed the fuck out of step momma
>>683994330
haha this got me
>>683985238
Nobody cares about this shit
>>684010567
This nigga knows
>>683958349
it a song or verify some shit like that from a movie
>>683949437
>>684011594
Oh shit waddup
>>683994330>>683972108
Among the best posts that I have ever read. OP you are a based motherfucker.
>>684011111
Czeched
>>684011111
holy shit
>>684011992
Literally satan.
>>683950060
Every damn time
Here's a favorite
>>684011992
I don't think this person understand what mischief is
>>683991932
because the mint colored hair
and mint condition
faggot
>>683983117
I want to meet this person, just to see his/her face jesus this is glorious
>>683950993
Probably the worst one I've ever seen. You made this, didn't you?
>>683959588
Why is the fake story getting posted over and over. You can even see that he talks to himself (You)
>be me
>go to see friend one day
we'll call him dudemanguybro
>dudemanguybro and I are sitting on his front porch
>two silverback gorillas come up to us
>ooga booga or whatever
>gives them bananas
>they angrily take them and leave
>we do this for a while
>I begin to think
>"what would happen if I ate on of these?"
>eat banana
>ohshit.jpg
>begin transformation
>cock expands
>skin becomes darker
>intelligence decreases
>dudemanguybro looks at me in horror
>try to tell him I tried a banana but it just comes out as "ooga booga"
>he shanks me in the eye
>wake up a week later
>in hospital bed
>still black but am able to speak English
>decide to become rapper
>mfw I become Fetty Wap
>>683949437
>Be me
>wake up in the middle of the night
>look to my left
>see ugly creature with sunken eyes and unkept hair and gnarly ass teeth
>start panicking
>go under sheets
>look to see if it's still there
>still fucking there
>notice it's movements is strange
>almost similar
>man the fuck up and turn on lights
>it's my reflection in the mirror
