All right /b/, I need some help.
I still live with my mom and her boyfriend and they're super Catholics, like painfully Catholic. Being the edge lord I am, I'm an atheist and partake in the devil's lettuce and I just got a text from my mom. I know exactly what it's about, I had left some nuggets on my nightstand from the night before and had forgot to clean up.
I was planning to move out anyway.
Dubs decides what I say.
cant gotta a big group project at 4:20
>>682512853
O shit waddup
>>682512853
Mom, go eat a bag of dicks and leave my weed alone
>>682513323
roll
>>682513323
reroll
Tits or gtfo
>>682513323
1 more roll
>>682512853
Funny how people say drugs will fuck up your life, and here you are, telling me to skip class. Top kek
>>682513323
roll
>>682513323
Roll
>>682513207
rolling
>>682512853
Jesus Christ faggot charge your phone
Just send a dick pic
I can't I'm speaking at a club meeting for gays and lesbians?
Seriously, this isn't my gay porn magazine, I'm hiding it for a friend.
>>682513621
roll
You ever touch a child? They are soft and durable and somehow ALWAYS know how to make you cum. Do it OP.
We gonna blaze up mom?
>>682513207
Roll
>>682513323
Rolllling
WINRAR>>682513633
>>682513323
Do it
>>682513633
winrar
>>682513691
rolling
>>682513633
Winrar
>>682513604
Right? It's fucking painful looking at that pic.
If dubs: "If this is about the big black dildo, don't act like you're not impressed"
>>682513633
Winrar
>>682513633
Winrar
>>682513323
>>682513766
WINRAR
>>682513800
WINRAR
>>682513207
fucking this
>>682513323
rolling for this too
>>682513621
Roll
I think OPs phone died
You better deliver OP
>>682513621
Rolling for dick pic
>>682513973
lol i was about to say that.
>>682513207
PLEASE rolling for this
>>682513633
>>682513800
Send the gay porn one, then send the dildo one a few seconds later, as an afterthought
If dubs rolling for this: >>682513691
>>682513800
Winrar
>>682512853
>>682512853
1% battery
>>682513973
Fucking 1% battery troll
>>682514031
>>682513766
Checked
>>682513691
Rollerino
>>682514080
jesus
Tell her OP is a faggot
tfw OP's phone died
>>682512853
The mastur has baited us.
I was wondering, hope this isnt a bad time to ask this. Would you mind giving me a blow job? I have this huge incest fetish.
It has been done
>>682514460
Kekkerinos
>>682514460
Mother Unit my god
>>682512853
>1% battery
tell her that when you get to go home, she will get her butthole drilled until it resemble a wizard sleeve
>>682514460
this has to be fake
>>682513207
Reroll
Tell her to stop living in sin w/ her boyfriend and get married.
Takes the light off you and puts it back onto her
>>682514460
Sorry, I don't know a "Sin". Are they a new family friend?
>>682514460
Kek <-this
Kek
Kek
Kek
>>682514460
hahaha this is fucking epic!
There is no god you dumb cunt. Also I'm vegan that was broccoli eat my ass you dumb Catholic cunt.
>>682514460
next say
did you allow deez nuts in your mouth?
>>682514460
>Highly religious
Just fucking run OP, and tell them they were bad parents as bad as the devil or something . They'll cry for days.
>>682514460
now tell her that she will get her asshole rekt by your arms, just to destroy the sin out of her body forever.
>>682514707
rollo marshmell0w
Yes I have mother. I have let sin into our home and up my asshole.
>>682514624
Roll
>>682513323
this
>>682514460
Now the black dildo
>>682514679
first kek?
>>682514624
r0oll0l
>>682514766
HOLY SHIT.
>>682514368
Rolling
>>682514707
Roll
sin for the win
>>682512853
>All right /b/, I need some help.
>I still live with my mom and her boyfriend and they're super Catholics
>boyfriend
>living
>together
>Catholic
Fucking hypocritical fagots
>>682514766
REROLLING THIS
>>682514766
meh why not
>>682514460
well what the fuck are you talking about then mom? If it isn't the gay porn mags it has to be the dildo
Which sin? Sinbad the pirate or the comedian.
>>682514855
winrar.jpg
>>682514460
i don't believe this. this is fake and all you fags are falling for it.
>>682514855
WINRAR
Tell her to ligthen up, a friend of yours has MSI, thats why he needs Medical marijuana. He forgot it, its no biggy.. Love you mom xx hail satan
>>682513691
Rolling
>>682512853
>No work
"Oh, hey boss. I can't come in for my shift today. My mum told me no."
>>682512853
Is this about the toilet seat? I swear it was gone when I woke up...
Fake/10
>>682512853
Why is she mad that you have chicken nuggets?
Mom my do you have to keep me controlled like this?
I'm sure you are unaware of the damage you've already done
I'm a human being not your robot
>>682512853
Suck my dick sexy mamma
Since she has a boyfriend she's either divorced or had you out of wedlock. Unless your dad died. Sounds like shes bringing the sin.
Kek
>>682514944
lmaooo
>>682515154
Fuck I was thinking this, what does she think he'll tell his boss?
>>682514624
This is perfect
>>682514766
>just to destroy the sin out of her body forever
rerolling this also if she ask what kind of sin, tell her it about a lust demon, a long time ago, in that place, you found out that some stupid people summoned a succubus.
>>682515234
"Man I love eating loads of fibre cereal and then squatting over my toilet with my big brown ass and pushing as hard as I can until solid brown logs covered in mucous puncture my anus and splash down into the yellowed urine smelling water, as I lean forward with my tremendous girth flowing over my crotch in order to put a shit covered hand down my crack to wipe my ass crack. Oh how I then love to reach into the water and play with my shit as though it were playdoh, and then start smearing it all over my fat, pimply and hairy body. The warmth of my chocolate coating against my shit skin arouses me greatly and I reach a shit covered hand down to my penis, moving the folds of fat out of the way to stroke my wart covered cock as I moan. And then I will cum onto my hand and lick the combination of cum and shit and swallow it. After I have finished using my body fluids as lube I will lumber into my bathtub and soak myself in pork blood as I push air out of my asshole to make pork blood bubbles." - jesus Christ
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>682515235
IM FUCKING CRYING LMAO
>>682515235
EAT MY ASS MOM
>>682515235
LOLOLOL YOUR MICKDICK NUGGETS WERE NEVER TO BE SEEN. KEKEKEK
>>682514624
Roll
>>682515235
Oh shit nigger
>>682515316
Roll
Yeeeah...about that...
>>682515235
Who the fuck is Lilith
Tell her "I was just having a giggle, Mom"
>>682515235
Why you readin your sister's diary man? Not cool
>>682515235
topkek
You should read it. Did you know Lilith is fucking a black boy? We need to stone her ASAP
lol u wild. wyd tho?
>>682514855
Op you faggot anon got dubs
>>682515235
mom you need to calm you lord loving fat ass down
>>682515235
Your* not Native english? Fake/10
>>682515316
Rolling for autism
>>682515433
WINRAR
>>682515235
what catholic family names their daughter after a jewish demon?
Oh yeah, I was using Lilith's diary as jizz storage.
>>682514766
Fucking so epic...
mom i can't help it, when i have that big black dildo hanging out of my ass it makes me feel so at peace, i've always wanted to be a tripod
>>682515559
>4 off
>>682515433
Adhfggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
Woaaahhhh
>>682515235
Have you read that thing? Bitch is fucking niggers!
Oh whew, I thought you found my weed.
>>682515235
If you're so religious you shouldn't be living with your boyfriend, don't act like he isn't hitting that you hypocritical whore.
>>682515329
Roll for this
THIS THREAD
No way a catholic mother calls her daughter Lilith, the first wife of Abraham and a screeching night owl demon.
>>682515235
Wait, so she wanted you to leave your class for a 'privacy invade' she doesn't have proof of ? Wtf ?
>>682515639
Confirmed fake
>>682515639
ugh fake and gay
>>682515235
tell her that a long time ago in that place, some stupid people summoned a lust demon and it got out of control and that it has taken control of you.
the only way to expulse the demon is to have sex with someone of pure heart, so that way, the purity of a woman body destroys the demon possesing you so...who better than you mom? you're the most pure hearted woman I know and the only one who can defeat this sinful beast.
>>682515639
u killed it. fake
>>682515639
kek
I dared myself
>>682515639
She should've. You're such a faggot
>>682515639
>should of
fake/10
>>682515663
ROLL
>>682515235
so fake
Fake Fake Fake
>>682515639
daaaaaamn
>>682515639
Are you saying you would have sinned , mother!?
>>682515639
>should of
I smell a ruse
Say youre in love with your sister and you cant withold smelling her panties..
>>682515693
my thoughts exactly, fake and gay
>>682515639
nice mom m8
>>682515235
Nothing has ever been faker nor gayer
>>682512853
Fuck off, mom. It's weed. Perhaps if you found the crack rocks that I hide in my Fallout 3 case we'd have something to talk about, but you didn't. So shut the fuck up.
Dude leave that house, that's a shitty thing to hear from your mother bro
>>682515639
Ok now this is 100% fake.
>>682515639
you can choke on my cock mom
>>682515639
Abortion is against your religion, you hypocritical whore. In the bible its stated that you should be stoned; try some of my drugs.
>>682515777
Trips
Gg
>>682515639
fake lvl 9001
>>682515788
Winrar!!!
Why does your mother still clean your room?
>>682515788
winrar.dox
>>682515639
Hypocritical bitch i swear. My god go home and punch the bitch. "Mom shut the fuck up ill jack off to gay sex with satan if i want to"
of all the things that didn't happen, this happened the least
No 'ultra catholic' would have said they should have aborted their child. Fake
>>682515792
Roll
>>682515788
...Check.
Also, checked
also, kek
"When you've read it tell me I was wrong"
>>682515639
HAHAHA
"abortion is a sin mom. you act like you never did mistakes. if you're so god damn perfect why are you not married anymore?"
>>682515639
>should of
>>682515235
Oh that. Look if some of the pages are stuck together I'll get her a new one, guys have needs you know and you *know* you'd turn lesbo for her yourself
>>682512853
5/3/16, the day OP was not a faggot.
>>682514460
DID YOU ALLOW SIN INTO OUR HOME??
>>682515639
>I should have aborted you
then why you were whoring yourself out you sinful dark and demonic woman?
do not lie to me! I HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE IN YOUR LIFE.
>>682515235
Send her this pic.
>>682515235
Mom, it's YOUR, not YOU'RE!
>>682515316
roll
Sounds fake
>mfw baited
>tfw no face cause baited as fuck
fake obv
>>682515648
This
Ambiguously Gay Duo was more real and less gay than this.
>>682515965
nicely put
WHORE OF BABYLON
>>682515921
Because he's under age and none of this is real
Not if I abort you first mom
>>682515639
Nigga, you best correct your mom's grammar. It's not, "should of," it's "should have." She should have aborted you.
>>682515639
>highly religious
>I should have aborted you
It was semi believable up until then. Fake thread is fake
>>682516093
This kek
>>682516117
Op is a fgt
Op is faker
Fak off
>>682516117
wow so unexpected
>>682516117
Alright show's over
>>682515639
>very Catholic mom
>I SHOULDVE ABORTED YOU
You're a faggot OP, next time make it somewhat believable.
ATHEISTS SUCK!
>>682515639
you are the sin, woman, you have lied, give yourself into lust, cheated, manipulated, destroyed, denied and sinned all your life and you still think you will get any kind of forgiveness.
>>682516014
You were saying?
>>682516117
>>682516117
wtf
Guess the joke is up?
>>682513621
Dis
CHRISTFAG HERE!
>>682515639
Fake/10
>>682516093
roll for this.
>>682516117
This just in: OP literally cannot stop sucking dicks
>>682515235
>Youre
Your mom tries to b8 /b/
>>682514707
fucking roll
>>682514890
Topkek
>>682512853
you're a bitch mom. STFU
>>682516249
I'm betting someone stole his mom's phone, and texted him, since he's probably in her phone under "lance"
>>682516207
Why would his mom make him leave on the middle of class because she thought he read his sister's diary?
if you find the bottle of old cum please dont throw it away, it be a waste not drinking it.
>>682515235
> Lilith
This name implies sin in a catholic family. kek
Simple anon.. Break out the bible and go to page fucking #1 .. Show her in the bible on page one of genisis, where GOD HIMSELF DECLARES TO MAN " i give to you all SEED bearing plants and animals that walk on earth and swim in the sea to you to consume and enjoy... Show mommy that god says its ok to consume any seed bearing plant on earth.. Pot is just that.. Tell her gods law permits it and only a few places still have mans law against it.. Ask her what is more important.. Mans law or gods law... Im a scientist.. I dont believe in god. But this is the best way to shut them up with their own shit. What she gonna tell u the bible is wrong?? Lol
>>682516489
Some people are pretty crazy, especially mothers that are very religious and have a predisposition towards their daughters
>>682516489
have seen crazier things
>>682515693
This.
Text her: ALLAHU AKBAR
Then
5:00 'til party time
Update the time every minute.
>>682517111
FUCK YEAH TRIPS
>>682516117
this means OP is gay
>>682512853
Text her:
Genesis 1:29
Matthew 15:11
>>682515639
I was having fun. now I know its fucking fake.
>>682516199
Winrar
>>682514460
Fake
>>682513207
Rawls.
>>682513323
Dubs for this rn
>>682516000
THIS
PLEASE THIS ONE
CHECK THE FUCKING TRIPS
IT WAS MEANT TO BE
>>682514460
>>682512853
please tell me you didnt find my dildo. im hiding it from my friend
>>682513207
Reroll
>>682514624
This
>>682513323
God fucking dammit Rerolled the wrong post and got dubs. Fucking Reroll nigger
>>682515639
Your mom is a fucking terrible human being. My apologizes op.
>>682513207
Rolling
>>682515194
Rill
>>682516000
Trips
>>682512853
Don't touch my nuggies
>mfw dumb fucks still rolling
>>682518024
roll
>>682516489
i was just thinking about that
>>682517507
i said the same thing
/thread
send me some tittys mom
the bible say that if the man leaves the house then the first son shall take over. not go outside of family
>>682512853
>Super Catholic
>Single mother
Your father had better be dead of they have an annulment or I'm telling whatever bishop is in charge of your diocese.
>>682521552
*or
>>682515639
>Catholic
>abortion
Mom why haven't we fucked yet
>>682522254
Roll
>>682522254
Reroll
>>682514460
fake as fuck
come on, man
>>682521552
>>682521795
And with that, I come to the conclusion that either this be some fake ass shit or your mother is a shitty Catholic.
>>682516117
