I hate myself.
I feel evil, dirty and impure.
It's like I've lost all my innocence.
I hate myself for most things I do.
I hate how I only masturbate to sick shit that would make most people puke.
I hate how I'm too depressed to do anything.
I hate how I hurt all the people in my life.
I hate how I will never be a truly good person.
I hate myself.
Congratulations, you grew up
Now stop being a whiny, edgy, faggot about it please.
>>681959455
post the shit you fap to you faggot
also fucking kill yourself
>>681959455
Oh no, I'm a bad person cuz i whack my dick off to weird shit. I'm so dark and edgy.
Fuck off faggot, you're not special. Grow some balls cunt
>>681959455
Yeah? Welcome to the club pal.
read the emerald tablets of thoth. meditate. commit to one thing a day. be selfless. listen to Macklemore & Ryan lewis.
btw all that masturbation is just pouring your energy into something else. you need to invest in you.
What a fucking gay picture.
You're a fucking faggot.
Holy shit
>>681960123
It's kinda cool you know. Stop being a hipster fag lord.
>>681959768
gay incest rape and bdsm fantasies, where I'm the one being hurt. Imagine fapping to that and then facing your family every morning.
Also, I was constantly emotionally and physically abused as a child by my father ... not sexually if I remember right but what he did was bad and sadistic enough.
>>681959708
funny that you said that, cause I only just turned 18 ... this is all pretty new to me, casue I always used to be known as the quiet, pure nice guy. From cinnamonroll to sin-amonroll kek.
>>681960332
the porn is honestly not all that disgusting, bdsm is chill, incest, meh, whatever floats your boat, as for gay, nobody gives a fuck if the bitch has a cuck as long as that ass is tight and whippable
>>681960742
the thing that makes this all sick is that my self-image always used to be"good guy".
the contrast to this, where I masturbate 10 times a day to make feeling of existential loneliness go away and snap at everyone and generally am a fucking unempathetic asshole.
it all started with my severe depression, which torture me for 2-3 years without a break.
Dude i have a wife who I fuck at least once a day and a kid...I still jerk off like five times a day relax doesn't make u bad guy lol as long as ur not out there committing rape or pedo ur fine ..... I also secretly do coke like every weekend doesn't make me bad lol
>>681961263
well oy vey, you can still be a pretty good guy and fap to whatever, its just what turns you on not who you are, as for your depression, ever heard of getting cucked or therapy?
>>681959455
shut the fuck up. smoke some weed, have a drink and fuck off
>>681961263
this is what happens when you've convinced you're a certain way. understand that no one is as "good" as you think they are. everyone has somethig embarrassing or humiliating they don't want people to find out about. this is humanity sadly
this was a good first step. time to start admitting all this shit to people in your real life. get it off your chest, reset expectations. done.
>>681961610
i do therapy but I would never EVER talk about sexual stuff. I didn't even scratch the surface with my short description above ...
>>681961708
I can't take that stuff, especially alcohol, cause it would interfere with my antidepressants (which don't seem to work much and which i will probably switch with new ones next time i meet my psychiatrist)
>>681959455
kill yourself you massive faggot
>>681962316
yeah sure confess to my family that i want to get raped by them, good plan.
>>681962505
well you don't have to go into specifics ha ha.
your father probably did fuck with you and you put it out of your memory. fantasizing about it happening in a controlled manner, one that you control as in fantasy, is a very big sign that it happened.
stop hating yourself and love urself.
>>681962726
ok
.
.
.
/thread
seriously, though, give me something more to work with dude -.-
>>681962632
I really don't think he did ... which makes it all so much worse, cause that means that those feelings come from myself, which means that it's me who is sick.
>>681963295
nah you just want daddy to cuck you
>>681959455
Same here OP :( I don't think my life will ever get better. I'm waiting for my mum and dad to pass away before I kill myself. I can't wait :)
>>681962726
Wish it was that easy bb </3
>>681963638
he doesn't have a girlfriend idiot. people who throw cuck around just reveal what the fucked up shit that they like.
>>681963783
why not do it now? i guarantee you that nothing will matter to you at all once you're dead.
>>681963783
do it now faggot
>>681963920
As much as it sounds so fucking cheesy and cringy, I don't wanna make my parents sad haha. I love em, they're alright
>>681964135
you won't care at all once you're dead. it's not like you'll have to face them
Shut up faggot everyone has fetishes like this.You're not a special snowflake.
>>681959455
that's sad, I wish you feel better about yourself anon, general happiness is a life long struggle.
>>681963783
OP here, don't ever do it.
I guess what we both have to do is stop giving any fucks and relying on how others perceive us.
I can't help what I'm attracted to, but I can choose how I treat others. Actually, if you compared to people at the end of their lives, who both accomplished exactly the same good things, but one of them had some fucked up fantasies that tortured him, then that guy is the better guy cause he also successfully battled his inner demons throughout his life without giving in to his urges and hurting other people.
>>681963295
it sounds like you just might be a little gay. so what? get on board. go to some clubs see if you end up liking it. nobody cares these days
>>681960332
Welcome to the fold, brother, we've been waiting for you. I'm 28 and I went though your phase of self hate, believe me, it's never over unless you make a conscious effort to change yourself. I was lazy and whined about being depressed for years but never went to the doctor for it. I'm only now getting some sense of normality about me, so catch it now if you hate it that much.
>>681964435
wow you are extremely ignorant, read some philosophy, start with the greeks.
>>681964708
teach me what you did sensei!!!!
>>681964751
how am I ignorant? care to explain?
>>681965037
You have to make yourself quit, anon-kun. When you feel the urge to do what you hate, find something healthier to preoccupy yourself and stick with that attitude. Don't fret if you stray a few times, breaking habits is difficult but replacing them with one you don't hate, yet can be viewed as respectable is just the ticket. Go forth young man.
if i were you OP i would take up writing. start with a journal but get a good novel size chunk together and start your self publishing career. just keep cranking out shit and eventually, who knows, you just might make a life for yourself.
>>681965774
I will try, thanks man :)
that gave me hope again :D
>>681959455
Nice dubs man!
Hating yourself is normal the important thing to do here is to swallow as much self hatred as you can and then let it bubble inside you
>>681959455
go outside, change ur musical taste,leave that poop porn and medit8, it may work
>>681966284
That's the spirit, anon.
>>681959455
thats what being a teenager is all about. Enjoy :)
>>681966712
well, then tell me
what is the next step for me?
how will I get over those feelings?
how do I become a healthy, functioning adult?
OP understand that happiness and feelings of worthlessness and shame are simply social constructs
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/04/160425112453.htm
there is no need to be paralyzed by it. understand where it comes from, like pain, and do what you need to to stop it