green text threadthe best ones
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>green text thread
the best ones
>>bump
>>681508205
kek so le randum xD
>>681508722
Shit. I thought this thread was for best ones?
Not green text but still funny
>>681509100
>why are you posting comments about the thread? you're not allowed to say anything about what's being posted
Ok pal
>found the best song ever
>turns out Hitler listened to it
>>681510031
What's wrong with that?
>>681509286
I'm not your pal, guy.
>>681510253
I'm not your guy, buddy.
>>681508549
oi wut
>>681509139
OMFG YES I ONLY HAD PART 1 OF THIS
>>681510383
kekd
>>681507969
good one
>>681509140
naise
>>681508722
fake af
>>681510383
the good ol pineappe fag greentext
>>681507969
make this historic again.
i haven't keked that hard since the last one.
Bump
ok ill dump too
^1
>>681510546
I'm not your body, honey.
>>681510546
I'm not your buddy, pal.
>>681513725
Im not your honey frend
all time favorite
*1 since the other guy did Blind Girl I'll post deaf girl
>>681514427
but wait anon, there is more blind girl!
*2 is it bad that I kinda really like all the soppy love story ones? Eh well have Creppy Girlfriend
>>681510211
I love Greentext with a ending theme
>wake up at 6pm after a particularly exhausting runescape marathon
>tummy is making hungry noises
>navigate my way out of my room through the piles of weewee jugs and trash
>make my way downstairs,peek into the living room
>mummy and new daddy are doing a special backwards hug on the sofa like uncle phil showed me once
>new daddy is making funny sounds like a steam train
>don't care hungry
>''MUMMY WANT BREKKIE BREK''
>mummy screams,new daddy swears and nearly falls off the sofa like a silly
>says to mommy ''why is that retard still living here,isn't he like 30?''
>i don't like being called a retard
>not since the incident with the toddler in mcdonalds
>feel my inner wolf break loose
>let out a mighty howl and try to rip off my creeper hoodie
>not strong enough in my hunger-weakened state
>new daddy is laughing, i'll fucking show him
>pull down my crusty cargo shorts and grab my tingly tummy tendies
>''GOLDEN WHIRLWING,GO GO GO''
>start spinning like a beyblade and weeing as hard as i can
>mummy is screaming and crying,new daddy swears even louder and tries to grab me
>dodge him with my veteran cs 1.6 reflexes but fall because im dizzy from malnourishment
>new daddy gets me in a headlock and starts punching me in the tummy
>he doesn't know i've been saving a satisfying tendie-and-dew-fuelled doodie for later
>bum explodes like a fat man in fallout 3(i don't play 4 because it doesn't have my waifu moira)
>new daddy is covered in doodie, he looks like a swamp monster
>he lets go and starts vomiting
>mummy is on the phone, i think she's calling 911,new daddy is trying to make her put the phone down and shouting something about ''the meth you dumb bitch''
>crawl to the kitchen, everything is spinning and i feel faint
>''MUMMY MAKE TENDIES!!"i manage to shout before blacking out
>wake up chained to my bed with a plate of tendies on the bedside table
>new daddy is gone
>mfw sucess
>>681514596
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME FEEL?!
>>681514621
do we know what happened to this poor lad?
>>681515541
Maybe his body is chillin in the murder shed.
*3 I don't have anymore relationship ones on my phone but have some Tard stories
>>681516137
was gonna ask for this thx
my fav
>>681507969
How is this supposed to be funny
can someone else bump for a while, want to read some of the longer greentexts
>>681517937
I have no idea why, but my sides are visiting Saturn.
>>681518262
because it's funny
finished reading
have anyone the greentext with a guy who asked a farmer if he shows his dick?
>>681519768
found it myself
>>681520008
i fucking lost.
more.
2/2
>>681521039
wish i had more tard stories
here's something funny
>>681521364
oh my god.
>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
>I pray to Shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given
>"Shrek is love" I say; "Shrek is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's Shrek
>I am so happy
He whispers into my ear "This is my swamp."
>He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Shrek
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My dad walks in
>Shrek looks him straight in the eyes and says "It's all ogre now."
>Shrek leaves through my window
>Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
>>681522447
hilarious and original!
>>681522447
Shrek is love Shrek is life
>>681522609
>green text thread
>posted a green text
Obviously a fag
>>681522447
Pasta not oc
>>681512760
God damn this one of my favorites. Where's days 1-24??
>>681523137
OC? on my 4chan?
not the guy you replied to
>>681521364
FUCKING LOST
>>681523969
>Being so autistic that you think this is a ylyl thread
>>681519420
Do you have the part 2? I remember they sending him some tiles pictures and shit. I lost the screenshot long ago
>>681524379
Well excuse me for being amused by that greentext story.
>>681524734
its lower down
>>681512760
is there more??
>>681525091
I dont see it
here's a better version of the smelly farts thread
I got a tard one for you want more?
>>681526906
fuck im rly curious how his farts smell
>>681527383
moar
ALSO WHAT THE FUCK R THOSE NOTIFICATIONS MAN?
>>681519308
moar like this?
>>681525091
Sorry wrong post, I meant to reply >>681519420
Anyway I saw it now, thank you !
Why can't I post a tard one?
>>681507969
>>>681527383
>moar
>ALSO WHAT THE FUCK R THOSE NOTIFICATIONS MAN?
I don't clear them
Does anyone have the Roemer tard stories? I've fucking lost my copy of it, and it's my fave.
>>681528364
Y THE FUCK NOT?
CLEAR UR FUCKING NOTIFICATIONS
You asked so I deliver!
Short but funny
> middle school
> taking test
> finished
> I hear a yell
> is it downie?
> other bus tard that I hate?
> start to analyze the yelling
> tard I hate from the bus
> fuck
> people start noticing
> people talking
> wranglers get him
That is that. I should have said he is on my bus. Bonus one.
> tell my freind I'm on the tard bus
> he asks who is on it
> tell him about them
> he knew about the tards
> I was was the bus with the "Popular" tards
>>681528829
Took 30 seconds to google bro
>>681529333
Thanks, and chiggedy.
Roemer Saga
A lot of my tard encounters from the stories are similar
Here is another one
> yelling kids from last one gets in bus
> sits where another kid supposed to sit
> tell him to move with my bus driver helping me
> in the fighting of this the kid gets on
> tard moves to his tard seat
> happened many days
> me and my bus driver were good buddy's
>>681511236
Gimme part 1 plspls
Here is a memorable one
> September when school starts
> all the tards slowly get on
> me ADHD downie and autist from last one in the bus
> person from last one refusing to sit down is near the bus
> refuses to get on
> goes on for a bit
> crossing guard wants him on
> everyone pissed
> he gets on
> refuses to sit
> we need to make him sit
> bus driver seats him
> he is sat down
> go home
> bus driver gets to next school late
> I'm home late
I hated the bus
How are they?
>>681529330
>>681530090
>>681530906
gtfo faggot
Want more?
>>681522680
is there more?
>>681523969
Lost what faggot
>>681524379
this is a ylyl retard
Mimi is being a ass right now
>>681529555
>>681529333
Checked
>>681531606
it's already been posted >>681521569
>>681513587
Cringe
>>681513662
>OC
>2015
>>681508582
is there a actual video about that, made and cut by some freak or just complete pasta?
>>681532214
shit, I don't have the first part
>>681507969
kinda weak tbh
http://imgur.com/gallery/OH1lW
this is one of the best
Autisitmo story
> autist gets on the bus every morning
> talks with the bus driver showing him cheap stuff
> I eat breakfast at school
> makes us a little late
> then he goes to sit down
> asks me crap
> starts saying stuff about how he is not human and he has a clone named him and is sick
> says bus driver is the cure
> he called himself a white ninja
> goes on every morning
> one day he got a watch
> plays some shitty tune
> sleeps on the bus with it
> Still plays
God I hate the bus
>>681514596
>Playing Marco Polo with the dog
Lost
>>681518874
the icing on the cake is the little laser pointer that he painted in the image
>>681519308
Lost hard
>>681532266
fuck, I lol'd
>>681509258
No it isn't you fucking faggot.
Can someone compile the tard stories?
>>681524379
>Being this much of a newfag
My favourite
I <3 greentext
>>681508826
Never had a boner quite like this
>>681514365
I'm not your friend, m8
Can anyone get me the pooper one?
>>681529330
Shut up tard
>>681531752
i have a little sister/Gretel fetish.
this story now has changed my life.
it will never be the innocent incest adventure i've fapped to so fucking many times my balls twitch in the sack at the thought.
>>681530090
Are you 11 or just retarded?
>>681535674
any more info?
>>681509258
Classic
>>681534259
Do it yourself.
>>681508722
Shifting as I read.
>> Motivation
>>681534643
>Also my father hit me for stealing meat
Lost
K
>>681535674
Google nigger, use it.
>>681534070
kill yourself
>>681537375
Shut up faggot.
>>681534709
I'm crying
>>681521148
>the smell devil
My sides!
Want another tard one?
>>681512760
complete ver
http://imgur.com/gallery/OH1lW
K
>>681538420
No.
>>681522140
holy shit, my sides. thank you.
>>681538688
shit wronglink
http://imgur.com/gallery/izcDr
>>681538956
Post the story faggot.
>>681527383
the most autistic font
>>681522680
>tfw this made me question existence of paranormal again
>tfw there was thread about shit in pic related last night
>tfw I'll start thinking about my "prophetic dreams" again
I didn't want to sleep anyway
>>681539222
lost
>>681514409
thanks anon, wanted to find this for a long time
Ok another smallmone. Compile them all please?
> get on the bus
> sitting like normal
> all of a sudden after talking with bus driver and ADHD
> tard fight
> bus warfare 3
> downie attacks at other tard not autist
> non autist uses yell
> downie powers up
> tard roar
> starts mega attack
> I am just trying to stop it
> non autist starts attacking
> all out fighting
> autist hops on
> downie uses attack phrase
> get to school
> goes on for weeks
> downie pulls fire alarm
> downie gone peace restored
>>681510211
top keke
>>681538313
This is brilliant , my sides!!!
>>681510383
top fucking kekain
>>681523038
You don't belong here
>>681538132
this is brilliant
this one is the best i have ever read.
>>681540662
I'm not your cancer, illness.
>>681540114
No.
Your stories suck.
They also lead me to believe you're a tard.
Why are greentext threads so rare?
>>681507969
>>>681540114
>No.
>Your stories suck.
>They also lead me to believe you're a tard.
Aspie FYI. I am gonna post a decent non tard one
>>681540114
no this shit doesn't go anywhere and it is even worth the effort you make in posting them
maybe you should try /r9k/ lot of reatrded gays like you there
>>681540662
I thought it was pretty funny, maybe you just suck
>>681540926
my sides
Bumpy
>>681540868
i'm not your illness, disease
>>681507969
nothing will ever top IT bro
i dont know if its posted yet, but its long and its worth it
>>681522140
This is like the 20th time I've seen this and it still makes me laugh. I really wish I could see the posts he was responding to.
>>681518541
lost
>>681514427
this was adorable, and the art as well. i need more deaf wife
>>681542017
Google it.
Non tard story
> Backpacking
> hiking down steep terrain cause paths are horrible
> boot is loose (important later)
> notice a Heli pad spot area
> Bo downhill
> tie shoe
> gets loose
> gain speed
> trip
> left knee lands on a rock
> says I am OK
> takes a look at it
> calls to others
> lay down
> bloody contraption of my knee needs to be fixed
> gets some painfull shit done
> hike about 2 miles huirting like hell
> limp around
> head to med station
> I was number one
> first patient all weekend
> gets doughnut
> hikes to camp
> gets ice cream
> im number one
>>681541360
i'm not your disease, epidemic
>>681523137
Ya don't say.
How is it?
>>681540662
ok, negative nancy
>>681542539
Are you fucking with us?
>>681521364
>How to take a screenshot
Was funnier than the greentext
>>681508826
diamonds
>>681544501
don't bing search en luxure zoo don't do it
>>681547256
thats a bit too specific
