You have a superpower and a faggot gives you a condition
I'm the strongest person on Earth
>>680710795
But you have no limbs.
I can use telekinesis
>>680711009
While giving your dad a blowjob
>>680711009
but you're really retarded, vegetablelike
i can use pyrokinesis
>>680711009
But only on objects you're holding in your hands.
I can fly
>>680711252
only from 1 to 1:01 am
I can teleport...
>>680711204
But only when you're underwater
I can read minds
>>680711252
But die upon use
I am teleport through time
>>680711348
... one step backwards.
I can turn invisible
>>680711446
But only to wartime eras.
I have x-ray vision
>>680711552
But you'll always be permanently invisible to girls
>>680711632
but only in complete darkness.
I can slow down time
>>680711769
but you also slow down your mind
I can spit acid
>>680711853
But the acid burns through your throat...
I can walk through walls.
>>680711853
But it always dribbles onto you and sears your flesh
I can bring people back from the dead
>>680711959
but only if they're 50% concrete.
I can seduce any girl
>>680711959
But you also fall through floors when you activate the ability.
I can charm any woman.
>>680711959
Only while you're pooping
I can materialize any object in any space
>>680712097
... that you're closely related to.
I can heal any wound within seconds
>>680711367
But only when you're not wearing any pants
I can get mad poose
>>680712147
but it all smells like rotten fish
I can talk to animals
>>680712249
But you become ill from doing so.
I can regrow limbs.
>>680712249
only for them to reopen 1minute later.
I can control the mind of animals
>>680712299
poose is always angry at you
I can get dubs whenever i want
>>680712249
the wound is transferred to you
I can convince anyone to do anything
>>680712389
All animals hate you, and spout constant abuse at you
>>680712473
you can never get anything more than dubs ever again
>>680712473
you no longer have the desire to get dubs for the rest of eternity
>>680710795
I'm literally perfect in every way and a guy
>>680712389
But they dont understand you
I have unlimited sperm
>>680712473
except on /b/
also, check em
>>680712488
but you can't see them doing it
i can breath underwater
>>680712299
but your dick is 1cm
I can work at 100% mental capacity at any time with no need for rest.
>>680712249
except your own
>>680712473
but not on /b/
>>680712488
But only if they are black and retarded
I can absorb light
>>680712617
>but you can't see them doing it
damn it, that's good.
>i can breath underwater
you can no longer breather out of water
>>680712634
you may only use this capacity to imagine gay porn
>>680712488
...by convincing their mother to order them.
I can create an endless supply of electricity from my body.
>>680711733
That's already true. You need an actual catch to it.
>>680712488
If I cut my dick off
I can hibernate
>>680712634
100% of your mental capacity is 1% of the average person's
>>680712603
but it comes out of your asshole instead of your dick
i can grow any fruit from any tree
>>680712413
That are 90% smaller than the original limbs.
I can possess people
>>680712413
But they come back at the speed of a baby growing.
I can browse 4chan with my mind.
>>680712757
But only during night
I can talk to animals
>>680712701
You become a nigger
I can mentaly freeze people
>>680712852
but they don't talk back
>>680712753
top kek
>>680712870
But only the ones that are in coma
I can kill anyone on earth
>>680712870
by stealing their heat, which causes extreme pain to your insides and makes you feel like you're burning alive
>>680712755
but you can't get laid
my nose is a really powerful vaccum
I can move objects with my mind.
>>680712870
You need to convince them to like you first
I can survive in a vacuum and underwater with no aid
>>680712951
but killing yourself in the process
I can rewind time
>>680712951
If they would die in less than a minute naturally
I can control matter
>>680712818
But only shemale/trap threads.
I can mentally read an entire book just by looking at it.
>>680712951
And anyone can kill you
>>680712852
...but you have to become aquaman.
I can run complex simulations in my mind.
>>680712995
But only for chalk
I can get dubs
>>680712995
when i put a finger in my butt
I can move my dick with the power of my mind
>>680712951
But only if they have terminal cancer
I can see into the future
>>680713005
But your parents will never be proud of you
>>680712951
but you'll get your dick ripped off by a nigger (he's in space, so you can't kill him) every 18 seconds, after which it regrows to be ripped off again
>>680713005
You're a potato
I can toast bread at will
>>680712995
which you can't control
>>680713093
But lose your memory of the future.
>>680713139
But only into gay parallel universes
I can teleport
>>680713125
But only in Furry threads
>>680711853
Contstantly tripping
I can turn things into gold
i can take a shit without the water splashing on my ass
>>680713200
You are a toaster
I can play any instrument
>>680712995
but you snort semen as twice as powerful.
I can become any animal
>>680713200
but you'll get assraped by mutant dolphins every night
>>680713139
but only your death
I can run faster than any vehicle.
>>680713281
only if they were worth more than gold initially
>>680713294
it splashes on your dick instead
>>680713139
You always see yourself dying alone
I can see any event in the past.
>>680713093
But only 10 seconds
>>680713302
you'll die instantly upon using it
>>680713298
But you have no hearing
I can fuck your mother
>>680713294
Only on a designated shitting street
I can control water
>>680713294
You can't wipe
I can get head from anyone
>>680713274
but only into gay bars
i can see through any object
>>680712995
It's constant
I can consume anything in a matter of seconds
>>680713349
all vehicles in the universe explode, so your speed defaults to 0
>>680713298
Any instrument of torture, only on yourself
I can make a stick appear in your ass
>>680713432
but it takes 9 million years to shit anything out
>>680713380
But only that time you caught your parents fucking
I have superhuman strength
>>680713449
i enjoy it
>>680713401
Only if it's coming out of your penis
I can cum pepper spray
>>680713432
But it makes you choke.
I can fall from anywhere and survive
>>680713432
As long as its cum
>>680713349
Any vehicle parked
I can taste colours
>>680713302
only while indoors
I can speak any language
>>680713400
And you have to take Bernie's dickn in the process
>>680713449
Only if you rip out one of your fingernails
I can survive falling from any height
>>680713538
but only into your eyes
>>680713508
Only for gripping your dick
I can see through walls
>>680713508
you die if you look at anything
>>680713538
you lose the ability to get an erection
i can turn water into gold
>>680713538
You cry semen
I can survive any temperature
>>680713611
but you get your head cut off if you try to talk
>>680713508
But only when you're asleep.
I can see women naked, regardless of clothing.
I can turn into an anthro wolf, outside and inside, with no health problems
>>680713617
you can't survive rising to any height
>>680713533
Dats hawt
>>680713723
humanity goes extinct
>>680713617
But you bounce back to where you where before jumping
I can change matter states
>>680713723
Only if they are 500 or more lbs.
I can survive without needing to breathe.
>>680713742
But it's agonizing, bone crushing pain , to change form
>>680713582
But you are blind.
I can play any video game.
>>680713742
you have terminal autism
>>680713723
But I don't get any pussy
I can shitpost on /b/
>>680713688
But your pain tolerance for extreme temperatures is the same as a normal person's
I have the power to not be a jew, a cuck, a retard, a faggot, a muslim, an autist, an SJW, a newfag, a mexican, or a nigger.
>>680713812
You can't change back
I can speak any language
>>680713742
But you can't ever have sex with animals or humans. Furry fag.
>>680713723
You can only use this power 10 times in the course of your life.
I can pause and unpause time any time I want.
>>680713854
But only at a beginner's level and you never get better
>>680713849
if you don't drink 1 trillion cups of water a second your organs slowly melt and you die
>>680713919
Still no gf
>>680713945
But you have no tongue
My bones cant break
>>680713972
you get paused too
i can turn invisible at will
>>680713849
But only underwater.
I can summon any dinosaur.
>>680713945
But can only say "I'm a faggot" in all of them.
>>680712753
>implying that wasn't what he was planning on using it for
the power to jizz through dimensions
>>680714029
Kek
>>680713910
but you have to be in bed at 8
i can surf the deepweb anonymously
>>680714108
But they never stop growing
I have hyper hearing
>>680713617
you still feel the pain you normally would from falling that height.
I can slow down time
>>680713875
Lol you just jelly
>no health problems faggot
Should've said werewolf but who really gives a shit except you
>>680713972
but you have the intellect of a rat
I can browse 4chan and not get cancer
>>680714117
But become it's immediate target in the process.
I can memorize anything at will.
>>680713972
When you pause time, you pause everything that is a subset of time, including air particles which provide heat with friction. The entire universe reaches absolute 0 and everything is dead.
>>680714108
...because you don't have any bones.
>>680714108
but they dont suport much weight ie they are rubbery and elastic
I can telaport
>>680714108
but you're braindead
i can kill a man by sheer will
>>680710795
im a humanoid duck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVI4Knz24CQ
>>680710795
But you are in the moon
>>680714225
but you still have no gf :(
>>680714209
but only by .0000003 percent
>>680714205
But you can only hear dog's barking.
I have the ability to become God.
>>680714205
Only on gay sex 300 kilometers arround you
I can time travel
>>680713910
But gain the inability to get dubs, trips quads or quints.
I can manipulate anyone to do anything, without failure.
>>680714289
but you can't spell 'teleport'
>>680714195
only under police supervision
I know every song ever made
>>680714256
But you can only remember one thing at a time.
>>680712589
but your penis is 3 inches
i can make anyone have sex with me
>I have the speedforce in my cells
gg I'm now broken as fuck
>>680710795
>>680710795
retard
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random
report back no cheating
>>680714195
except your mother always knows
>>680714225
But you can only post cancer
I can explore the anime dimension (have fun)
>>680713102
But you can only read dipper goes to taco bell novels.
But only for seconds after licking you mom's face
I can read minds
>>680714333
a meteor goes back in time and falls on your house when you're 2 years old and kills you
>>680714209
but only while at work
I can "redo" time for 5 minutes.
>>680714289
but only a quarter of a millimeter per second.
>>680714333
but only while naked
I can create US currency at will
>>680714321
niggers god
I know the content of every book that ever existed
>>680714290
Only if you have befriended them.
I can destroy any building by touching it.
>>680714363
deaf
>>680714404
but you're Reverse Flash, and will eventually be killed by The Flash
>>680714333
You have to do it also
I can stretch my limbs
>>680714290
But it kills you in the process.
>>680714324
but you forget when you do
>>680713968
Good thing it's for mostly vore and killing purposes lol
>Not even a drawback
>>680714443
but unable to think your own thoughts
>>680714384
But only after you've turned older than 60
>>680712284
That works out
>>680711009
But you are a sea pig
>>680714493
the value of usd in the global economy turns almost worthless
>>680714500
but only from the center of that building.
Holy shit. This Thread is gold
>>680714493
But this causes massive inflation.
I am able to silence everyone who triggers me
>>680714542
Into your anus
I can change my numbers in my post
>>680714363
But can only recollect mainstream pop.
>>680714542
you can't unstretch them
>>680714500
You are Osama Binladin and the American government are here to fuck you up
I can rebuild any ruins I touch
>>680714479
all memory before redo is lost
>>680714443
But I don't know how to link another post
I don't need too pee or shit
>>680714629
your testicles shrink a little everytime
>>680713102
Funny I can also read a book by looking at it
>>680714497
can't read
I can come alive again everyone I want, even me.
>>680714542
but you have to eat 30 pounds of nigger diarrhea for each inch you stretch
>>680714542
but not contract them
I can make a phone call for unlimited time mentally.
>>680714493
But only in the form of pennies
>>680714629
you trigger yourself
>>680712067
But only if you fuck the corpse first.
I have photographic reflexes (Taskmaster)
I can understand the most complex mathematical equations without having seen them ever before
>>680711252
But near the penis of fat guy cos you are a fly
>>680714493
but you need to lick every bill when you use them
i can morph into anyone
>>680714363
but you have stucked in your head https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU for ever
i am invisible
>>680714645
but you can't change yourself
>>680714720
you will be 80 years old though everytime
the ability to give anyone diarrhea
>>680714713
That's actually cooler.
>>680714773
Just to the don't kill yourself hot line
>>680714720
you are put into eternal stasis, not dead or alive, but unable to think, feel, or move
>>680714629
but you live in a constant state of being triggered.
>>680714680
you are a quadriplegic
I can suck my own dick
>>680712817
but they will know your name
i can break anything with my teeth.
>>680714777
I can CHECK THESE TRIPS
>>680714773
Only to your grandma
>>680714720
zombies
>>680714333
at the cost of a limb everytime you do
i am simillar to Dr. Manhatten in powers and abilities.
>>680714497
This includes the collected works of Chuck Tingle
>>680714795
your completely paralyzed and stuck in a wheelchair
welcome to the steven hawking life son
>>680714825
Only while holding your breath
>>680714773
but not to anyone you know
>>680714795
But you are retarded
>>680714875
your jaw muscles only move at 1 micrometer per day
>>680714937
you also have dr manhattan's apathy and lack of emotional connection
>>680711348
To your own ass
>>680714795
but the comprehension is fleeting, lasting only a moment every time.
>>680714500
But you can't melt steel beams
>>680714795
But you cannot understand simple literacy or science.
I can make fresh food appear in my hands.
>>680714975
thats actually pretty doable
>>680714792
overreact to all stimuli
>>680714808
. . .only people with down syndrome
I can talk to animals
>>680715085
it dissapears one nanosecond afterwards
>>680715124
they tell you nothing but stories of your most horrific nightmares
>>680711367
But can't ever have sex
>>680715124
but not to people
>>680715124
>can morph into anyone
No, Anon, you can't change the "anyone" into "someone", not how the thread works...
I can snap my fingers and get everytime a cold can of Coke
>>680714497
you recall all of this information simultaneously and are driven insane from the overload.
>>680715085
it always has Mayo
I have reached enlightenment
>>680711552
actually that condition can still work in hand to hand
>>680711252
hold on to it as you lift it with your mind. instant elevator.
>>680715085
the food explodes shortly after
i can traverse a person's mind
>>680714825
Until you get hard
I know everything
>>680715124
But only animals
I'm immune to having my superpowers be given weaknesses by faggots on 4chan
I can shoot jets of napalm/thermite in any direction I want without having to engage in any extra bullshit
>>680715212
fingers literally snap
>>680714937
While giving head to seniors.
I can manipulate gravity.
>>680715212
The can explodes when you open it every single time
>>680715212
The coke is flat
>>680715085
Shit appears two minutes later.
I can switch genders at will
I have probability control
>>680715231
In the flying spaghetti monster religion
>>680715252
But your power is spawning dildos
>>680715252
But your weaknesses come from faggots on 7 and 8 chan.
I have the power to control probability.
>>680715208
the negative side effect to your super power is that i can change it to you only being able to turn into people with downs
now it is how the thread works
>>680715252
But you can't have superpowers
I have wings, and can fly with them
>>680715287
the jets have a limit of one molecule of thermite
>>680715344
just everytime you shit yourself
>>680715252
they can give you AIDS instead
>>680715252
You are only immune when on 4chan
>>680715287
out of your cornea
>>680715231
everyone assumes your a pseudo intellectual hipster douchebag
>>680715104
I never thought of that! Wow.
>>680715390
only against your favor
>>680715212
But it disappears once you open it.
>>680714808
But your flesh boils from the inside anytime you're in a form that's not your own.
>>680715390
you probably can't
>>680715339
But you also have Genderfluid trigger mentality
>>680715398
that isn't how the thread works
>>680715404
people will hunt you for your flesh
>>680715563
My power is that this is how this thread works
>>680715339
but you are considered unattractive for both genders
>>680715404
You can't land with them
I can eat the ground in front of me and shit it out behind me to burrow underground
>>680712421
But only dinosaurs
I can make everyone that hears me believe what I say
>>680715231
and have courted insanity in the process. No one can understand you and you're forever isolated.
>>680715624
my power is that it isn't
I can never starve or die of dehydration.
>>680715633
in reverse
>>680715252
you're right
you're immune to all things
you have no weaknesses
you are immortal
but the image is your fate
>>680715624
but only for faggots who complain about their power's flaw
>>680715633
But the dirt you shit out will have the consistency of diarrhea
>>680715640
everything you say becomes true
I can think logically and craft perfect arguments as to why there is no God.
> not even making mine up
I can make my farts smell like anything I don't want them to smell like
>>680715712
but you can die of malnourishment
>>680715695
but your power doesn't work
>>680715563
too bad my power is making this thread work that way
get rekt crybaby
>>680715810
Weakness is nobody will care about your logic in any argument you have.
>>680715720
If I'm immune to all things, then I'm immune to being upset at my fate.
So, I'm literally not even mad.
>>680715640
But you're mute
I can turn anyone into a puppet
>>680715712
But you are a nigger
>>680715712
As long as you eat or drink something.
I can commit entire books to memory
>>680715810
but all your efforts are wasted shitposting on /b/
>>680715811
farts every second of your life
I can become any person in the world at any given time.
>>680715824
>>680715825
my power is that my power DOES work, fuckboy
>>680715811
they are extremely loud
>>680715811
Except in the presence of hot girls, in which case they always smell like you shit yourself.
>>680715404
The maximum height you can fly at is 7 feet.
>>680715884
you can only get sexual gratification from puppets
>>680715884
>but you lose a part of your body everytime you do
I can summon dubs whenever I want
>>680715934
once you become them you are no longer you so you lose the power and can't change anymore.
>>680715825
You are the worst kind of person.
>>680715241 top kek
you know how is it to have sex with every reletive, man, beast that ever existed and is going to
i can kill on sight
>>680715893
lose all interest in literature
>>680715940
But your power's weakness is my power so your power does not work because of how my power works and your power's weakness. That is my power.
>>680715404
But you had nowhere to go
I had the power of eat gods
>>680715934
for 0.003 seconds, and then you can't for 15 seconds
>>680716037
blind
>>680715940
sorry but my power is excluding you from any possibility of getting rid of the effects of my powers and or removing any power i say i have
also fuckboy really? are you a 13 year old nigger
I have the power to win internet arguments.
>>680716037
You're blind now
>>680715893
But you forget the previous book's content once you read another.
I can create anything I want just by thinking of it.
>>680716029
stay jealous
>>680716130
but not irl
>>680716081
You can only eat gods and since gods don't exist you'll die of starvation.
Power to not be a faggot when I'm OP
>>680714507
I'll just become a dictator for my meager existence
>>680716152
can only think about them beans
>>680716130
your internet never connects
>>680715474
Damn..napalm vision
>>680716152
You now have the downs
>>680716081
there's no God
I can break mirrors with my face
>>680716213
still get called a faggot
>>680716130
But you are fucking sad and going to make a hero
>>680716052
but my power is that you can never again use the words 'my' 'power' 'is' 'weakness' 'your' 'that' 'and' 'is' 'you're' 'work' 'not' 'i' 'so' 'does' or 'but' or any synonyms and derivatives or misspellings of those words.
>>680715869
you're also immune from being happy
my power is that I can suck dicks
>>680716213
>you get banned for 10 minutes everytime you start a thread
>>680716266
Only because of how ugly you are
>>680716152
>I can create anything I want just by thinking of it.
you have the most extreme case of adhd ever seen by man
>>680716130
But you must stay in your safe space for 3 days afterwards.
I can control robotics with my mind
>>680716152
Can only think of black dildos.
>>680716266
demons spawn from mirrors and you become humanities last hope
>>680716266
Only by slamming it against mirrors
I can clone myself
>>680716290
You have ass cancer because of that.
>>680716292
but you don't want to
>>680716292
But the guys you suck off have stage 3 gonorrhea
I can tell if a person is lying or not.
>>680716357
You have the downs
>>680716213
There's no such a power cos op is always a fag (rules of universe)
Had the power of the king of /b/
>>680716350
doctors won't diagnose you
>>680716037
The world declares war on your superpower.
>>680716357
robots can control you with their 'minds'
>>680716415
Your clones will try to kill you to replace you
>>680716238
kek
>>680716457
But you lie everytime you say if someone is lying or not
>>680716472
/b/ has no king so theres no such power.
>>680716457
no one ever lies
>>680716357
the 3 robotic laws now are 4 (you must not obey this anon)
i dont shit
>>680716415
But your clone is a violent nigger
I can become invisible
the power to make america great again
>>680716656
piss out your ass
My power is to have a happy life (and not have an unhappy 'afterlife' or any shit like that)
>>680716415
But your clone always has ecplosiv diarhea
I can fuck traps and still be perfectly straight
I can make every girl I want get herself naked everywhere I am even if they don't want to, just thinking about it.
>>680716669
to women
at all times
>>680716415
but each clone is dumber than the one before
I can read anyone's mind at will.
I have ghost powers like Danny Phantom
>>680716677
By going back to the 50's
>>680716656
Instead you puke
I can do whatever the fuck I want
>>680716677
only for .000000000000000000008 seconds, then it goes back to shit
>>680714406
>give people terminal illness
>basically the manifestation of 4chan
>>680716713
everyone you love are unhappy
>>680715893
You forget the last book you read
>>680716677
But you are Donald Trump
>>680716713
But you kill everyone makes you happy
>>680716766
but you don't want to do anything
>>680716656
Your body will now expand until you explode because of all the shit building up inside you
>>680716669
Only when nobody is looking at you
>>680716677
But you're now a mexican
>>680716717
Only if they fuck you up the butt
>>680716722
But they will have no attraction to you whatsoever and will try to kill you if you try.
>>680716656
You have to have the shit surgically removed once a week
I can transmute materials in to uranium
>>680716766
>but only from midnight to 1am
>>680716744
Then I'll never get caught for rape, thanks anon!
>>680716717
not attracted to traps because you are straight
>>680716824
you sure know me
>>680716722
But you are blind.
I can fart goldnuggets
>>680716861
Only by eating materials and having to shit them out as solid bricks of uranium
>>680716722
become gay
>>680716863
>he stops time at midnight because he wants to
>can do what he wants forever
>>680716925
That are roughly 5 inches in diameter and have sharp edges
I can get dubs everytime I post.
>>680716988
Never can get trips or higher again
>>680716988
nobody will ever check them
>>680716925
nuggets are larger than anus
I can catch any criminal I'm the world
>>680716988
checked
>>680716988
But you are a faggot
I am immortal and perfectly healthy
