ITT: Give yourself a super power but other anon's put a limit on it.
Telekinesis, so I can turn the tv off from the couch without a controller.
>>680628847
but you ejaculate every time you use it
U can die but u don't actually die
Invisibility
>>680629133
Only when no one is around
>>680629133
Around men
But every time you die you lose a random diget and/or limb
Losses ability when penis becomes erect
>>680629133
You can be seen nude from reflections
>>680629133
sure but every time you activate it you get a needle stuck into your dick for 10 seconds
>>680629001
doesn't sound too bad actually, free climax and a I don't need to get up
infinite energy, so i can get shit done without sleeping
You know if someone is lying 100% of the time.
>>680629526
But you can't lie
>>680629514
It stops working when you're heartbroken (like Spiderman 2)
Can move at the speed of light
Ability to completely control time, so I can fucking murder people and then go back so I don't get raped in prison.
>>680629859
Have to hold your breath while doing so
>>680629859
Only at small distances (Less than 10 metres)
>>680629894
Can only reverse time and you get an increased chance of catching AIDS whenever you use it (Can't reverse away from AIDS)
Instantly seduce any qt 3.14 I meet
>>680629282
I'll take this 1 seems the least harsh
>>680630235
She turns into a landwhale by the next morning
consensual rape
>>680630946
You're the one getting raped. By nigger lumber jacks
>>680630946
Only people above the age of 70 agree
>never fell tired/exhausted including not having to sleep
Every one of your powers only works while you have a gradually expanding dildo up your ass
>>680629399
no climax, just the mess.
>>680628847
The ability to fly just high and fast enough to not need a car to get around town.
>>680631597
you live in africa so good luck finding a town
>>680629894
Can't reverse your own aging. While using ability aging is increased to 24 hours per minute.
112
>>680631597
Can't carry anything while flying. That includes wearing clothes.
Super human speed
>>680631830
Your mind can't keep up. Unable to process things properly when using your super speed.
>>680631830
Only super by .1%
Ability to do post CP without ban
>>680631597
Can only fly backwards
>>680632089
but only with dialup
>>680632089
All posts are forwarded to your friends and family with identifying information
>>680632089
But you meet Chips Handen
>>680631538
fuck.
The power to painlessly end my life instantly
>>680632185
Kek
100% mind control powers
>>680632349
Guns are expensive
>>680632349
It only works on your 80th birthday
>>680632185
kek
>>680632349
you're always found moments before death and are always saved.
>>680632349
A strong desire to live even if your intensely miserable.
>>680632375
Only works on people with autism
>>680632349
Upon death you are instantly revived, with one less limb
The ability to shape shift into any animate object
>>680629001
So could you telekinesis your own ejaculate, holding it in midair in an exponentially increasing ball until it's the size of a small van, and then just launch it at the nearest female?
>>680632677
Can never assume a previous form, including your human flesh sack.
>>680632677
But always at 1/47th scale and in purple only
>>680632677
But have a fluorescent glow when an object
The ability to make any woman fall madly in love with me.
>>680630235
But youre gay
>>680632705
kek
>>680632840
And become an asexual feminist
>>680632840
They die the next morning
>>680632840
You're supergay. King of the Faggots.
>>680632749
Shiieeet, good answer.
>>680632917
This would be a bonus not a limitation
>>680632840
As long as they're related to you
The power to make anyone, anywhere violently shit themselves without warning.
>>680632989
>kek
>>680630028
>>680629604
>>680629631
Good ones Anons !
1 Internet to each
>>680633056
You also shit yourself
>>680633056
But you don't know who it was until afterwards
>>680633056
It happens to you too.
>>680632579
Dick & balls are part of and on top of that list
The ability to make any animal on the planet obey any order I give.
>>680633056
you can do so only by inserting your tongue in their anus.
>>680633300
But your a faggit
>>680633300
Animal must be i direct line of sight the whole time and violently assaults you the moment it is free of your mental grasp
>>680633422
kek
>>680633300
But only by sucking their dicks
I can hold my breath for 2 weeks.
>>680633300
only if you can manage to have consensual sex with them first
>>680633358
Fucking keksabillion
>>680633560
But only in complete darkness
>>680633560
But only when you don't need to
>>680633560
Can't move while doing so. Can't stop until the 2 weeks are up.
>>680632705
best power ever
no females left on the universe though
>>680633888
Check'd and Kek'd
wolverine claws
>>680634072
But your dick grows claws too. Inverted into itself.
Ability to see deeply into the soul of any person I'm in conversation with, immediately understanding their deepest fears and desires.
The ability to sprout 3 cocks and fly away like Tails from Sonic.
The ability to generate diamonds
>>680634072
No wolverine healing.
>>680634379
Holy shit, not even gonna try to limit that, it's just too beautiful
>>680634296
You get a EXTREEEEME erection for 6 hours whenever you use it
>>680634296
But shit yourself every time you do so
>>680634296
You experience all of their fears, and every single one of their desires is to be cucked, which you also experience.
>>680634447
but you have to shove 2kg of coal in your ass and wait a million years
>>680634379
The dicks are always flacid.
Everyone will believe anything I say.
>>680634296
Brings extreme empathy with it. You fall in love with anyone you use it on but it doesn't work the other way.
>>680634679
...for exactly 1 second
>>680634679
you have no tongue
I can speak every language known to man to perfection.
>>680634447
Takes 1 year off your life for every $1000 worth of diamonds.
>>680630028
WHERE IS THE FUCKING DOWNSIDE TO THIS. I can hold my god damn breath for nearly 2 minutes without any prior training in doing so. I could fucking circle the world multiple times travelling the speed of light during that time. Fucking nigger this isn't even a limit it's retard proofing.
>>680634825
everytime you speak, someone comes and punches you in the teeth
>>680634679
You can never say what you want to.
>>680634679
You can only ever insult yourself
>>680634679
you have the most extreme case of stuttering ever seen by mankind
>>680634921
Yeah, exactly. If you're gonna travel at the speed of light, you can just hold your breath for 1 fucking second and you'll get wherever the fuck you want to go.
>>680634825
Every time you see a foreigner you launch an extreme racist rant at them in their own language.
>>680634980
kek
>>680628847
Portal summoning
I can make anyone instantly hate me
i can communicate with animals as if I was one of their own
>>680633358
hahaha
>>680635260
you can only summon your greatest fears
>>680635260
Portal's have1 nanometre diameter
>>680635260
Only works while outside and completely naked
>>680635297
they already do
>>680635311
they all fucking hate you.
>>680635260
Only able to summon niggers with rape tendencies
>>680635260
portal takes the form of a giant yeast infected vagina.
>>680635297
only works with the people you love
>>680634679
You create all the religions
>>680635297
Everyone already hates you stfu
25 gallon cumshots on demand
>>680635530
microdick
>>680635375
Niiice
id still use it
>>680635297
But you first have to swallow OG mudbone
>>680635530
Only able to cum inwards
The power to shit gold.
>>680628847
The ability to close any thread, but only when your intention was to keep it alive or contribute.
>>680635630
Gold roughly the size of car tyres.
>>680635467
>>680634679
Is this real life?
>>680635630
its liquid hot gold
>>680629133
Ay bb. U want sum fuk?
>>680635041
The guy already didn't ask to be able to survive lightspeed travel so he'd be dead anyways
can fly
>>680628847
The power to turn into a girl.
>>680635530
Dick loses all sensation.
The ability to generate 1000 pounds of force by clenching your anus
>>680635630
Immediately loses any value having come in contact with your butthole
>>680635630
only after you eat somebody elses's shit
>>680635991
but you'd have a dick anyways
>>680635991
Sjw
>>680635959
Exactly, he'd be obliterated instanstly
>>680635630
But it will always smell like shit
> good luck selling it off
>>680635991
You're a feminist landwhale
>>680635961
But you shit yourself everytime you fly
also powered by shit
full wizards powers
>>680636082
HAH!
>>680635991
No genitalia when girl.
>>680636107
full wizards powers
>>680635959
>>680636068
It was implied
>>680636007
Activates every time you take a shit causing it to explode violently everwhere.
The power to adjust my bodytype/height at will. Im a short muscly guy :(
>>680636045
but that is already my power irl...
>>680636062
>>680636094
>implying I aint that already
>>680636148
fine, better than having this tumor between my legs
>>680636107
Still easily killed by low level thieves
>>680636107
can't learn how to use them
>>680636107
Only by remaining a virgin until age 40. Afterwards there can't be any lewdness whatsoever in your life, otherwise your powers are gone.
>>680636283
you get a pussy when you do so
>>680636283
Dick will always remain 1 inch long
>>680636283
Only affects your own perceptions. Others still see you as the tryhard manlet you are.
>>680636283
it will always work the opposite way you want it, and you'll never be able to predict it
Super Saiyan
I can eat anything
>>680636504
have to die before it happens.
>>680636479
>>680636504
but you have no idea how to fight or use your Ki
>>680636515
everything tastes like shit
>>680636504
Activated by screaming loudly without pause for two weeks straight. It then lasts 5 minutes. Enjoy your torn esophagus.
>>680635961
by transforming into a fly
permanently
>>680636504
Get stuck in overly drawn out scenes that span entire episodes
Turn into a tiger and maul people to death
>>680636515
No sense of taste.
>>680636642
i could anally insert a few sensu beans that would help, and wouldnt have to stop screaming
>>680636515
but you always have to eat dick first
>>680636515
You anus can only stretch to a maximum diameter of 1cm
>>680630123
> chance of catching AIDS whenever you use it
being this thick
dumb as a drum
double nigger!
>>680636706
your constantly stalked when transformed by the crazy hunter from Jumanji
>>680636706
get killed by poachers the first time you transform
>>680628847
gigantic dick
>>680636706
Get killed for bullshit Chinese medicine
>>680629133
but you are visible to the opposite sex .
>>680631597
Need to fill your butthole with gas
>>680636907
Unfortunately your gigantic dick can't get proper bloodflow due to its size. Permanent limpdick.
>>680636907
It's not attached to you
>>680636907
bigger than your body in length, and thinner than your small finger in girth
>>680629526
but everyone around a 50 mile radius has hipster fever (is being ungodly ironic)
>>680636907
women find your freakish penis unappealing and usually offer you rides to the hospital
>>680630946
feminists only
>>680636907
In your anus
I can instantly decapitate anyone I think of.
can control time
>>680636299
Post proof
Std immunity?
>>680637269
for a milisecond
>>680637261
can't control it
>>680637261
have to chop a digit to do so
>>680637269
your own internal body clock begins to accelerate, for every 1 hour that passes, you age 5 years
>>680637261
Sacrifice a finger for each one. Then toes, eyes, ears, tongue, etc.
My super power Is fear, cause fest is that whats makes you strong
>>680637342
forever virgin
>>680637261
Must constantly keep your mind occupied so you don't think of yourself.
>>680637261
Also decapitates a family member/friend
And can only be used if you have someone left that you care about
>>680637261
You have compulsive thoughts about decapitating your loved ones
>>680637453
kek. brilliant
>>680637378
ooh, good one. You might just be thinking of your mom's homemade lasagna and bam, off with her head.
>>680636907
You pass out every time it gets erect
>>680637378
That's fucked up.
Power to be fast as sound
impregnate anything on command
>>680637587
Can only every move at the speed of sound
>>680637587
Inability to slow down. You're always as fast as sound.
>>680637587
Perceptions and reaction times remain normal
>>680637320
someone cut this off please
im immune to disease and am immortal with a control over crystalline structures and a strong power for short range mental barriers
>>680637627
Children are always retarded.
Turn into a inconspicuous table on command
>>680637627
Everythings autistic
>>680635065
That is a plus
>>680637627
Your sperm consistently produces kids with chromosomal disorders
>>680637763
Always crazy fucked on quaaludes
>>680637677
>>680637671
>>680637627
IT isn't that bad tho
>>680632749
I'm not the poster but I'd soooo pick that because you could then modify whatever you wanted minor or major about your real self i.e. take away a freckle or make your dick/tits/whatever bigger/smaller or get rid of wrinkles thus improving yourself for free so hell
>>680637786
If anything is sitting on you can't turn back until it's removed.
>>680637763
Comet hits Earth. You are forever alone.
>>680634739
winner
>>680637751
Nice body tho
>>680637763
In the middle of space far from any planet, enjoy insanity.
>>680637918
Thought about that but didn't want to get nitpicky.
>>680629227
>>underrated
>>680636082
It's easy. Just sell to technology industry, they need it for supercomputers. They don't mind if it stinks
>>680628847
ur aim will always be 1 cm short
Ability to teleport anywhere
>>680638140
extreme fatigue, like running the whole way there. teleport too far = death
>>680638140
It takes 40 minutes and you always forget that you teleported at all
>>680638140
.. Anywhere in a range of 1 cm from you
Can always get dubs
Ability to speak to and convince animals to do my bidding.
>>680638256
Except in get threads
>>680638140
Possibility of teleporting into something like a wall, or someone.
Injuring or even killing you instantly
>>680638256
always 1 off
>>680638140
Ability doesn't automatically account for the movement of the planet, so you end up lost in space.
>>680638256
but only on dead threads
>>680638367
For 5 seconds, then the animal tries to kill you
>>680638256
permabanned.
>>680638421
now that's just mean
Superstrength.
>>680638498
ROFL
>>680638401
99 00
Everytime I die I respect and there is no way to stop it
Can imagine new beings and creatures into existence like a god
Having trips every time
Power to become anything that a /board that has been active for 2.5 hours is about (ie. YLYL, Nigger hate, repost dodger, etc.)
>>680638539
Only applies to lifting fatties.
>>680638604
But only while choking on a fat dick
>>680638367
Easily swayed by animals' counter arguments.
>>680638539
Needs to be charged for 1 hour to use it for 5 seconds
You can charge it one time per month
>>680638594
Everyone respects your corpse I guess. Maybe you should've given yourself a power related to typing well.
>>680638604
Always shitty unimpressive knockoffs of already existing shitty creatures.
>>680638604
Shitty imagination
>>680638539
but you'll look skinny as an african child
>>680638618
Always insulted for not getting quads.
>>680638604
They have free will and you have to be worshipped to survive
>>680638711
I'm fucking retarded. I meant to say that I respawn
>>680638711
kek
Power to kill everyone that replies this coment
>>680638367
Animals hate you and will eventually attack you
>>680638840
Nobody replies. Oh the irony in this post.
>>680638804
In that case you respawn, but the damage is never healed. If you got stabbed or shot, the wound sticks around forever. If you lose a limb you have to sew it back on or it'll just stay off.
>>680638840
Everyone calls you a faggot
Faggot
Able to request custom high quality fan art from any artist with no charge.
>>680638618
but there's always a 1/10 chance Batrick Bateman will jump out your closet and axe you down
>>680638908
Dumbass
>>680638539
Only when grabbing your dick.
>>680638840
fagot
>>680638140
Can't teleport objects or clothes
>>680638840
Faggot
Giant scissors for hands.
>>680638942
So if I get decapitated I will forever respawn, interesting
>>680638958
They always say no
>>680639089
Tiny knives for toes
>>680638958
All requests must go through Christian Weston Chandler, AKA Chris-chan, and are subject to "her" creative interpretations.
>>680638958
You can already do that
>>680639089
but giant scissors for hands
>>680639089
They are stucked in your ass
Suck my own pp
>>680639107
shit
>>680639169
double shit
The ability to always say exactly the right thing, no matter the situation.
>>680634447
the diamonds are made of radioactive carbon C8 wich has a half life of 2.0(4) × 10^−21 s.
>>680639089
Have constant irresistible urge to fap
>>680639193
Yea, could've worded that better.
Everybody in this thread must suck my cock for their powers to work
>>680639244
But can't feel anything from it
>>680639261
The words always come to you the day after.
>>680639244
By cutting it off and putting it in your mouth
>>680639261
You always say "the right thing" as a Pokemon named the right thing, you can't communicate in another way
>>680639261
Always laugh at the wrong moment
>>680639337
Everyone has eaten ghost chillies 1 minute beforehand
>>680639202
I could trim hedges really well.
>>680639337
But everybody use so much teeth your dick starts to bleed
I have the power to be the son or the dad of the day. Sorta like switch bodies between the two.
Fucka da all a da grills this way ;)
>>680639535
They both have micro-dicks.
Able to turn generic brand items into name brand items.
>>680639337
Everyone here uses brackets and bites your cock while ducking it, ends completely destroyed
>>680639535
Only attract homosexual men and women are repulsed by your existence
>>680639535
Have to fuck your mom
>>680639618
Only by shoving ut up your ass and puking it out south park style
>>680639618
By changing the label
>>680639618
You have terminal cancer and you're given three months to live.
>>680639777
good one
>>680639777
Noice trips m8:^)
>>680639094
No your head will respawn, if you lose an arm it's not gonna walk away by itself so your body won't either..
>>680639618
The method by which you do this is by having an infomercial in which you're the 'before' guy incapable of completing simple tasks, frequently either hurting yourself, ruining something, or just making a huge mess in the process.
A book that I can write any story in that I can then transport myself into. If I die I'm kicked out of the book.
>>680634560
Hahaha
>>680639874
fuck that
>>680639871
But if I'm decapitated I will respawn decapitated over and over again until the misery of just existing makes me want to stay dead. You're underestimating the rule you set for it
>>680639917
You're illiterate
>>680639917
Can only include homosexual men wanting to fuck you until you die
>>680640019
kek
Ability to become a normal functioning member of society
>>680639917
The ghosts of famous authors ghostwrite your stories while you're in the book, making their own creative additions.
>>680640011
I'm not the one who set the rule, just expanded it..
Poorly
>>680640244
constant, neverending boredom.
>>680640244
In Azeroth
>>680640244
You're a homosexual nigger
>>680634072
But you're a compulsory masturbator
>>680640244
You work at least 40 hours a week dealing with unappreciative people you hate but can't do anything about, you can never seem to climb the imaginary ladder of success everyone else seems to be progressing in, and you still somehow seem to be gripped by that odd combination of anxiety and laziness that prevents you from doing anything about your situation.
>>680640400
He said "functioning" which rules out nigger
>>680640453
Too real.
>>680640244
Constantly being told to "fuck off normie! RREEEEEEEEE!!!!"
>>680639917
inside the book-universe it will be like a laggy server, with low fps, glitches and a low resolution
I can turn literal shit into wine, (elrond hoyabenday)
>>680640487
kek
