ITT: We work at the Death Star
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: We work at the Death Star
"Did you see that PBRX 33?"
"Yeah, they're really something alright. You you hear that?"
BUZZZZZZZRP
https://youtu.be/FaOSCASqLsE
>>679854089
*Imperal March plays somewhere*
>>679854089
Man did you see that robot that just walked by?
Id love to stick my dick in its exhaust pipe...
I work at the Death Star.
>be me, RL 3583
>on the Death Star
>taking a shit
>major walks in to the bathroom, takes stall next to me
>oshit.avi
>he rips the fattest blast out of his shitter
>can barely contain laughter
>he hears me
>fuckfuckfuck.gif
>knocks my stall door down with his head, pants around his ankles
>"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Hoth Rebells, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the Galactic Empire. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Death Star and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Galactic Empire and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."
Guys, I know I should repair the giant hole... But...I'm just... Fuck off...
Don't look at me like that!
no one is going to shoot inside!
Jesus...
Toilet is clogged.
>>679854089
>Hey Tim have you ever hit anything with your gun?
>Sometimes I shoot those little rolling rectangle things. They piss me off and I don't know what they do so every once in a while...ptchoo
prepare ship for ludicrous speed
>>679854089
Hey someone just fell into the death laser refractor cancel the test fire
>>679856415
not ludicrous speed!
Did somone deactivate all trash compactors again
>>679854089
"What do you mean we're the bad guys? We're protecting the fucking galaxy from rebels in our Death Star... Oh"
Hey, do we have a giant fucking monster in the trashbin?
>>679856633
whats a matter colonel sanders? chicken?!
>>679854089
Time for "Check the garbage compactor for weird things that move and kill people", everyone!
Wouldn't it feel amazing to have some sort of bad jedi jerking you off using the force?
>Imperial officer
>Heading towards Executive restroom.
>Lord Vader exits and walks pass
>Enter restroom
>Severe smell of burnt flesh and shit hits.
>Immediately throw up and leave quickly.
Every single time I go after Lord Vader.
Anyone else have this problem?
i think the new villans have to be shrek
>>679854089
You know i really hope nobody destroys this thing which has hundreds of thousands of guys like me who just file paperwork to make enough money to feed my family.
>>679854994
underrated post
>>679854089
I was the guy that was supposed to install the covers on the all the exhaust ports, but I said fuck it and smoked weed instead.
Not even a star?! Not even a star?! Fuck you Dave!!! This is why your white left you.
I hate my boss. Asked me to put a reinforced grate on all the exhaust vents. Like fuck I'm doing that!
>>679857323
Wife*
Why's I always gots to clean the garbage masher?
>>679854089
Fills the fucking hole with steal so we don't go bang again
What deck are we on?
Does the Death Star even have decks? Are we walking around in concentric circles?
So, how do you elevators work?
Its bring your daughter to work day tomorrow but tomorrow we're going to blow up alderaan should I bring her anyways
>>679854089
Hey, Bob, I just realized: the inside of Darth Vader's helmet must stink like shit.
>>679854089
>be me
>10/10 alpha-breed stormtrooper master race
>killing rebel scum 24/7
>made it into elite legion 501 fists on vader's ass or some shit like that
>can't hear shit with this helmet
>new buddies are the best stormtroopers in the entire galaxy
>2/500 accuracy ratings in the shoting range
>absolute beasts
>CO tells us we have a new assignment
>we have to guard a big-ass space station in the middle of nowhere
>turns out space station destroys entire planets
>still fuckin boring
>CO starts bringing rebel prisoners into space station for no reason
>like thousands of them
>literally more prisoners than troopers
>even jedi
>myCOisretarded.avi
>every single prisoner escapes
>they kill almost everyone on sight
>they take the plans of the station
>they leave on one of our shuttles and nobody was able to stop them
>the might of the imperial army
You: Hey phil
Phil: Yeah?
You: Ever noticed the deathstars lazer looks like a speaker?
Phil: Huh, I guess it does!
The Emperor Palpatine School for Kids Who Can't Shoot Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too
"What is this... a Death Star for ants?"
>>679854089
Ik moet heel nodig schijtehh
>>679857560
>So, how do you elevators work?
They work easily in all directions, there's no gravity to work against.
>>679854089
>Yearly christmas party
>Darth Vader is there
>Everybody is drinking
>Lord Vader goes to the karaoke machine
>Starts singing "I'm looking for love in Alderaan places"
>The whole room goes silent.
>>679857560
All the elevators are built in the center and have double face sliding doors
>>679857560
>Are we walking around in concentric circles?
Yeah, yeah, we know you aced the advanced geometry test in the Imperial Academy, Chris. No need to rub it in our face. Fucking nerd.
Hey, they have leftover cupcakes from the Emperor's State of the Death Star speech in sector 9 level R unit 788RJJA.
The speech? Same old shit. Need bigger margins, must kill more jedis. Blah, BLAH. blah.
"Hey Bill"
"Yeah?"
"You know how all spacecraft have engines at the back?"
"Yeah?"
"Then how the fuck does this thing move?!"
"Hell if I know!"
>>679857157
His shit stinks so bad!
It
>force chokes me
Tk-421 why are you not at your post?
>>679858283
Promotion.
>be me
>be small cute femanon
>wear maid outfit
my lord what can i get for you. cookies, cupcakes, brownies...
>>679858560
Faggot
>>679858560
Oh shit... You didn't hear? Vader is allergic to brownies.. Whenever someone mentions it, it gets him all upset and shit.
Hey look, it's a green little dude! Cool!
>I is kill
You know that on Tattoine they don't call it the quarterpounder with cheese, right? Know why?
Get outta here you little green shit.
>>679854089
I'll do the laundry again.
>>679857025
Why don't you go check?
>>679854089
Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create...life. He had such a knowledge of the Dark Side, he could even keep the ones he cared about...from dying. He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power...which, eventually of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew. Then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death...but not himself
>>679854089
I saw an old man near the shield generator could you send someone to in
>>679859694
Worse. Bedtime. Story. Ever.
>CO
>Invited to big window to watch Death Star Main weapon test
>Alderaan
>MFW I'm forced to watch as my home planet is destroyed.
>Wife, two kids gone.
>>679859580
OH SHIT DIANOGA!! who the fuck brought that on board!!
Did you hear our Lord is some kid from tatoin
>>679860627
No fucking way, soldier report yourself to your commander for your execution
OKAY, WHO THE FUCK THREW MY BLASTER INTO THE TRASH COMPACTOR? I SWEAR TO THE EMPEROR THIS IS THE 5TH FUCKING TIME
"Is that lazy fuck TK-421 off smoking blunts again?"
>>679854089
correction, worked now we live on welfare.
I keep telling my commander that we really need to put a curve, or at least some sort of grate on the exhaust vent from the reactor core. If even an average Joe like me can see how it is a straight shot from the surface to the reactor core then I'm sure the rebels ill be able to see it too.
It's like they are practically asking for this thing to get destroyed from 1 lucky proton torpedo shot.
>>679854089
Well, you just gotta ask these questions, Tim. You know what I'm saying? I mean, who ever thought full-white armor was good? Sure, if we raided a snowy planet. But say we're in a forest, or a desert, or a swamp. We'd be sticking out like sore thumbs instead of blending in, you know what I'm saying? Oh, fuck, the Lord Vader's coming! Quick, put out that joint before he... Hail Vader!
Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to have mouse droids all over the place what do they even do
>>679861118
Its only 2 meters wide, no one can make that shot
Are there any Female troopers around here?
Somebody screenshot this thread
Also, can we make sure that the doors open a little faster around here so that we don't bump our heads on it?
>>679861319
except maybe an x-wing fighter
>>679861474
no, we're all guys.
>>679861474
You really cant distinguish because of the armor
Where the toilet is guys?
Guess what bitches! I get to drive the at-at walkers at Hoth!
Guess what, Phil! I drive a TIE fighter!
...
Guess what guys! I'm a storm trooper!
>>679854089
How do I fly this? My boss will kill me...
So.
New Order Helmet or Empire guys? I think these new ones are better. Awesome design too.
>>679861931
The elevator at 90 degrees to your left
>>679861931
You see that intersection over there? Go left. First door to your right. Oh, and you might have to use your gloves to wipe your ass if you'll shit there. Toilet paper's been going out real fast for some reason.
>>679861931
no toilets. wasnt in the budget
What about casual Friday, is it a thing around here?
>>679861931
Careful though, I think Vader might be in that one.
>>679860927
We're all smoking. I don't even remember my assignement. Shit, I don't even think the Darth knows where we are going.
>>679854089
Imagine of the rebels knew our location but we all know that's bullshit hey come back with those plans
I threw a rock today. It missed the ground.
>>679854994
>rips the fattest blast out of his shitter
sophomoric or not, i laughed my ass off to this line.
>>679857045
we brake for nobody.
>>679854089
>I've had it with these MOTHERFUCKIN' MOUSE DROIDS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' DEATH STAR!
>>679856832
yeah, the princess dropped an earring down the disposal again.
Guys we finally have to fix this door. It hits my head every fucking time I use it!
>>679858035
>Lord Vader goes to the karaoke machine
bitch, he's got his own karaoke machine built into his chest.
>>679862785
I know right, why are they here for
>>679858354
frrrrrrrrt.
Who ordered the penne alla arrabbiata?
Has that lazy fuck Dave Johnson finally installed the reactor in the Prisoner Control Room?
Yeah, thought so...
The Commander didn't take me seriously, but I really think we should put some sort of armored cover over that thermal exhaust port
>>679863291Fuck sake get back to work
>>679863029
Why did I laugh at this-
*gack*
L-Lord Vader! *ack*
>>679862898
Already filed a complaint about it with Maintenance. Said Budget and Accounting doesn't give a shit about doors. But they have a new kick-ass flat screen in their department watching Pod-Racing Grand Prix. The turds.
>>679862691
Nigga, wherw do you find rocks in the fucking death star
>Join empire to destroy rebel scum and gunguns
>get assignment on Death Star
>fuck yeah we'll be getting bitches and killing rebel scum
>Get to Death Star, CO gives me orders
>FML have to clean trash compactors, some fucking monsters been killing maintenance crews
>fucking smell never comes out
>no bitches, no killing rebel scum
>i smell like scum
>>679863373
No, too costly and we're already over budget.
who wants fresh baked cookies?
I just got out of the trash compactor guys. Smells like shit in their. Who wears diapers? Palpatine?
Anyways, where the fuck is the showers!
>>679863624
I went scavenging at the trash compactors. Found a small grey rock. I wanted to test my aim, so I threw it. It didn't hit anything... not even the ground.
>>679863792
Send some to prison block D
>>679854089
Me: hey bill, hear theres this faggit called vader kinda runnin the place. hear hes al robotic n shit coz someone fucked him up.
Bill: yeah, dont let him hear you say that. you'll make him mad.
Me: whats he gonna do? kill me? hold on a sec, we're coming up on Hoth. I better take us outta lightspeed
>>679863792
Why is there wine on the bar and why are you looking at me like that?
>>679863959
Keep practicing your aim sunny. Soon you'll be missing the target by 20 cm instead of 2 meters
>>679863373
With what money? We barely have approximately $784 sextillion left in our yearly budget! What makes you think we just spend things like crazy here on the Death Star!?
>be mse droid
>keep the death star clean and shiny
>fall down trash maintenance hole
>such is life of mse droid
>>679863987
OK, but don't give any to the princess. her thunder thighs are starting to make the death star list to the right.
>>679864420
Talk about it who wants to chill at the sauna 30 degrees to the right
Announcement from Maintenance: For all of those attempting to address the thermal exhaust port, please stop. All of the reactor's heat goes out through there, so any kind of grate we put in the way would immediately be melted due to such a concentrated amount of heat being spread across a measly two metres. The only reason the port's insides aren't subject to this is reflective plating. For any further worries, please contact the artillery crews that man the turbo lasers, as they defend the trench enemy ships must run to get to the exhaust port.
>>679858035
Kek. Underrated
Anybody screenshotting this thread?
>>679854994
My fucking sides in orbit
>>679864991
You're hallucinating, Dave. Get your shit together before Vader sees you.
>>679854089
Include me in the screencap plz
>>679864991
Dave, what the fuck are you doing online... whats this? 4chan? if any of the officers see this they'll flip. get back to work already
Did anyone else see the rebel star fighters passing by
>>679854089
>Valentines Day
>be Matt the Radar Technician
>go around telling everyone that Kylo Ren has an 8-pack
>that Kylo Ren is shredded
>Tim calls me a punk bitch
>thisguyisfucked.zip
>force choke the motherfucker into a goddamn wall
>mfw
some graffiti:
R2D2 wuz here. C-3PO is a fag.
>>679865823
Why does it always happen on "bring your child to work"-day?
Will someone answer that Damn galaxy phone? I'm up to my space waist in paper work from that ordeal on hoth a solar week ago....
>>679854089
All I'm saying is, we could build a giant ass Death Star, but why do all our hologram projections have to be in blue?
>>679862267
>multiple large garbage compactors on the detention level alone
>why does the detention level produce all that scrap metal anyway
>no shitter
>>679866416
Because the crystals used on those damn things dont come in rainbow patterns dumbass
Meet me at the food court after work.
You know that felling when you pis Vader of to make him force choke you? So hot!
>>679854516
Fuck off faggot
Saw a video on the network of a wookie pulling the arms off a Jedi. Made me kek
>>679854516
>death star
>kylo ren works on death star
Has anyone noticed how Lord Vader almost always smells like bacon, even under his suit?
Also why does he keep sending us after that kid but demands that we don't actually shoot him?
Who designed the laser operator helmets I'm supposed to operate a huge laser with this shit on my head.
I cant see shit
>>679867355
I heard they recently broke up and Vader is trying to win him back.
>>679866942
Well, fuck it, man. I saw the Commander's room one time. He had this big ass TV. You know what's the color of the shows he was watching? Not just fucking blue! All I'm saying is, why can't we do that for the holograms. Fucking twisted, dude.
Oh, and yeah, you got a joint there? Quick, before Lord Vader gets here.
>>679867517
Cant judge lord vader
>>679867205
sauce
>>679857323
Dave after losing his white
>>679867827
>Implying that tvs work rhe same way as hologram comunicators
>>679867827
About thr joint, here but be quick
>>679867391
I did. It protects you from radiation and mind control waves
>>679868282
How does that help when I need to charge the laser to a very specific frequency for it to not kill us all while firing
>>679854089
hey someone call security; we got kids skateboarding in the super lazer again!
>>679854089
What's that coming down the small thermal exhaust port, it looks like a-
Hi,
Garbage Compactor Maintenance Crew here, who the fuck keeps throwing there plastic cups in the general waste? I've told you people to watch what you are throwing away. Plastic can be recycled.
Just the other day there we lost Bob. Bob's been working with us for 7 years, he had a wife and kids. but some asshole must have thrown away an alien creature while it was alive... needless to say that thing grew to monstrous proportion. Be careful what you throw away people.
>>679854089
So has anyone considered the potential hazard with the design of this base? I mean there is a chance someone could fire a torpedo straight into the reactor causing the entire base to explode.
To the nigger that has been fucking around with my storm trooper helmet and uniform... I swear to The Force I'll fuck you up if I find out who you are.
You don't go scratching people's helmets, thats why I can't hit shit with my raygun.
>>679868623
It stops your brain from absorbing radiation, and being controlled by jedi who could control you into destroying an innocent planet. Look our budget is low and health and safety regulations are clear; you need to be protected in the work place. We just could not support you on cancer killing medication. At 20 credits a pill every 4 hours for two weeks, we just could not afford to cure any cancer you may get. I'm sorry but this is how it has to be
>>679854089
>We work at the Death Star
>>679869965
>we can afford to build a moon-sized, planet destroying space station
>we can't afford basic health coverage for our workers
>we don't even have dental
Anyone know how to get in touch with the storm troopers' union?
Sometimes I think Vader's just deluding himself l. I mean, how can someone really choke someone without touching them? I bet everyone's just humoring HUURRRKK
>>679870022
>you're kidding right
>posts rey
>posts shitty EP VII
>IV-VI = 10x better than that shit
>>679870636
Since when did we have a union? The Empire won't even allow us to form teams for the Annual Laser-Tag Tournaments.
Guys, I'm the new Scout Trooper. So... where is the strip club?
>>679870746
times change, idiotson
>>679857780
Jouw moeder is fokking lelijk
>>679870654
>how can someone really choke someone without touching them?
hey according to feminists, you can rape a woman without touching them.
Vader. force rape expert.
>>679870846
Not like anyone can hit anything during the Laser-Tag Tournament. Seriously, anyone have the number for HR? We definitely need better health coverage, especially with Vader mind-strangling every third person he sees.
>>679870636
membership to the STU will cost you 15 credits and your application will be processed within 14 working days
>>679871287
Underrated post, dude.
Also, I'm raping you after our shift. With The Force.
you fuckin idiots will all be killed
>>679870654
You should see him polishing his helmet without touching it...
>>679871254
thats right
>timestheyareachangin.mp3
>not for the better
>episode VIII can only be better
>nothing can be worse than EP VII
>>679871287
Feminist? Didn't that movement rightfully die out about 1000 years ago?
>>679871430
Hey, I almost hit Fred last year! Missed it by THIS much.
Oh, and HR's just down the hall, dude. Don't call them; you'd just get passed around and shit.
>>679854089
Work my whole life to be best soldier I can be
Master all weapons
After 15 years finally get promotion guarding emperors door
These fuckers give me a stupid red robe and a goddam stick
A stick!
>>679871444
15 credits? Are you fucking kidding me? Minimum wage is only 12 credits per hour!
Have we destroyed Alderaan yet?
Did anyone here that yelling in the deck above us?
I work in the cafeteria https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxX7QCll3oc
>>679871444
>>679870636
your subscription will be reduced to 10 credits per month if you pay by direct debit
>>679871903
Yes. Keep up newfag
>>679871837
remember, this happened a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
Stormtrooper i am, miss you I will, complete is my disguise... HahahahahMu
>>679872121
Damn... So we about to blow yup, huh?
Guys guys guys, does anyone know how to fix the damn blinking lights every-fucking-where on the control panels? What am i doing wrong here?
Space nigger hate thread?
>>679871990
That's just the Hangar Bay Squad breaking-in their new recruits. Don't worry about it.
>>679872300
Yep. just to prove a point or something
>>679871897
you can take it up with human resources, but Vader is in charge of that department.
>>679854089
game over RATS
You're in the cantina and this guy slaps your gfs ass. What do you do?
>tell us a bit about yourself
I'm Steve. I don't go by that name here, but you can call me that.
>What's your job, Steve?
I'm an Imperial Stormtrooper, mate. I act to protect the Empire's interests. I'm based on the Death Star.
>What made you want to join the Empire, Steve?
I was poor.
>Have you ever seen Darth Vader?
No.
>What was your last assignment?
I'm usually on guard duty on our trash deck. It's pretty shit.
>Well, thanks for the interview.
Yup.
>>679872618
cut his head off with my swartz ring
>>679871287
Vader: Can you feel the power of the darks side?
Officer: Can't... Breathe.
Vader: That's it choke for me
Officer: W...W...What? [Belt buckle undone]
Vader: I shall show you my true power [pants removed]
Officer: N...NO. Please I won't fail you again
Vader: It is too late for your apologies.
Officer: NO... STOP! [Insert Phallic Force]
Vader: [Vader Breathe]
Officer: AHH! BUT HOW? YOU ARE STANDING 10 FEET AWAY!
>>679872618
His mouth looks like a really puffy vagina
>>679872618
Slice his arm off
So i said "theres like a severed hand down here.."
then I could hear giggling through his helmet..
>>679869588
>fire a torpedo straight into the reactor
Yeah, and there's a chance I could catch a blaster bolt out of the air.
>>679872653
>Voiceover: Steve died 2 hours after this interview was recorded. He never got to see his first salary.
>>679872856
don't want to know what his breath smells like...
>>679872904
Star Whores
>>679872934
Cheers, I'll have a guinness...
Crazy thing is... it's true. The Force. The Jedi. All of it. It's all true.
>>679872904
sauce?
>>679872904
i bet she gives great helmet!
>>679873071
If I had things my way it'd smell like cum
I won
>>679854751
*stands at attention*
>>679871287
Can't do that here fella, any femanons may get affected by the problematic behaviour on display ITP. The-Force-rape is the Patriachy in Movie analagous form.
>>679873307
who the fuck is this yellow cunt?
where's his fucking helmet? fucking gork
>>679872127
Time is cyclical
>>679873667
He's an exchange student. And, yeah, he's gay.
I'll have the penne all'arrabiata!
>>679872437
As soon as this thread is pruned, Luke will have blown up the Death Star (us).
>>679873523
Just according to keikaku.
>>679857279
One fucking job dude, my cousin was in DS version 1
What's the lowest position on the Death Star? Is it the janitorial position?
>>679873765
>Time is cyclical
Wot?
Hey! Here comes Vader! Don't mention the rebels!
>>679874267
Sauce, before we blow up??
*whine*
*beep*
*boop*
>>679874365
THE REBELS
fuck you vader
>>679874334
futurama reference.
>they created this piece of shit instead of the base design I sent in
I mean what the fuck. My design was planet sized instead of moon sized, could take out whole solar systems, and it had a way cooler name, star killer. Fuck maybe im too ambitious... maybe someday..
>>679873997
You nee a tray.
>>679874334
Look at a fucking clock you retard. The hands go in circles. Circles, cycles. Time is cyclical.
>>679874505
what the fuck were these things supposed to do?
>>679874589
Do you know who i am?
>>679874746
This is not a game of who the fuck i am!
>>679874715
Up skirt creep shots
>>679873059
R.I.P Steve
>>679874599
mind blown to candy.
>>679874297
niggers have tiny cocks
fix that shit right now
>>679860367
They're called angels, I hear deep space pilots talk about them
>>679874954
from sheev?
>>679874715
they're little roombas
I got a story for you troopers.
>Be me, DX 2438
>Assigned to cleanup duty
>Fukin droids gotta malfunction right when im availible
>Scraping Myneocks off the hull of a fighter
>Things are fucking wierd
>Suddenly, an idea
>Finish job
>Bring 1 back to my quarters
>Take off uniform and clothes
>Myneock sucks right onto my dick
>bythesith.png
>Feels better than Trandoshan pussy
>Cum buckets
>Other plebs go off base for sex while on leave
>I have access to the best pleasure while still getting full imperial luxury
>>679874882
You need a tray because the food is hot.
I'll call Mr. Stevens, head of catering.
>>679861319
thats not true. I used to bullseye wamprats in my T-16 and they're not much larger then two meters.
Tim, shut the fuck up and listen to me, cos I'm losing my shit here. I'm just saying - Tim, listen - I'm just saying, what if they were the droids we we looking for?
>>679874568
but your dessin also went boom . plus your haircut looks gay.
>>679873059
>>679874982
but his friends chipped in and gave him an urn for his ashes.
>>679875240
>trandoshian pussy
>implying you have had any kind of pussy
Shut the fuck up and get back to work John
Why do you guys waste time filling your minds with this silly hollywood garbage that has no basis in reality whatsoever?
For instance, why don't the people in the "death star" float around in what would be near-zero gravity?
>>679854089
Yeah, I turned down a contracting job on the Deathstar 2.0 back in the day......you guys think this starkiller base project will pay well?
>>679858775
>being this much of a faggot
>Hating on OC
Guys this is the sanitation department. If you guys can stop tell the prisoners on the detention level to stop shitting in the corners that'd be great..
WHO KEEPS BLOCKING THE EXHAUST PORTS?!
>>679875339
your mother is larger than 2 meters.
>>679873523
death star survived the sarlacc pit
>>679875699
it's the size of a dwarf planet. it makes its own gravity.
>>679875369
Get the fuck off my back Chris, it's hot as balls here, i can't see shit in this helmet and i've only get 8 more days on this hellhole before i can go home and drive my T-16 with my baby by my side, so i'm gonna lay low and ain't gonna start chasin' any droids'n'shit!
>>679875699
Artificial Gravity Fool
>>679857669
Get your star wars facts straight, nigger. You can't join the 501st, you would've had to have been a clone before the empire existed.
>>679867327
He pretty much does, just with a different name
>>679875811
>>>679875339
>your mother is larger than 2 meters.
So is her exhaust port.
>>679874505
I bet is someone made some that just wandered around your house aimlessly, you'd make a good buck on the initial sales
>>679875699
the death star still has mass
HOLD THE ELEVATOR!!
>>679875241
Oh i see, the food is hot...
>>679875995
Tim, you're right, I just get worked up over this shit. I mean, fuck it, what's the worst that could happen, right?
>>679875240
You're not the first stormtrooper to have this brilliant idea, john. Get down to medical bay before your dick rots off
>>679875648
You even seen a trandoshan?
>>679854089
>it ain't me starts playing
>>679876460
lustyargonianmaid.bmp
>Activate nigga shield
Surely this shield will protect us from those annoying well shot lasers.
>Be that lazy ass nigga
Pretty sure my wife has been fucking around behind my back with lord Vader. But what the fuck am I supposed to do?
>>679875804
Never mind, I don't care who it is, just stop it, you'll kill us all
>>679876404
I will let you know my dick is fine thank you. I have only gone 2 times to get penile reconstruction
>>679876278
Fuck off mate.
>>679876674
Kill him with lava somehow
>>679857129
Found the faggot on the ship
>>679876674
you should confront him about it, seriously.
>>679876674
Nothing you can do bro, once she's gone black she's never going back.
>>679876886
ah, so that's the disturbance in the force i felt.
>>679875983
It's nowhere near large enough to have substantial gravity.
>>679876001
There is no scientific basis for such a thing as "artificial gravity"
>>679876174
>the death star still has mass
That's why I noted it would be "near-zero"
This is exactly my point. Why fill your heads with fiction that won't help you one bit in the real world, when the real world is much more interesting than the fantasies of some kike-worshipping dork? (Yes, the original "darth vader" costume had faggoty shit written on it in hebrew)
>Be stormtrooper
>Be stormtrooper
>Be stormtrooper
>Be stormtrooper
>save princess
>Be stormtrooper
>Be stormtrooper
>Be stormtrooper
>Be stormtrooper
>seeprincefeissaldie
>NOOOOOO
>Be stormtrooper
>>679870746
A new hope was utter shit compared to episode VII pleb.
>>679877144
There is scientific basis for simulation of gravity, which could be called artificial gravity.
Anyways, why should our laws of physics be applied to a superadvanced peoples in a different galaxy a long time ago, where they have probably disproven most of our laws already.
>>679877144
>There is no scientific basis for such a thing as "artificial gravity"
they weren't just floating around in the millennium falcon.
Anyone else feel we don't get paid enough? Like i work my ass off making sure that fucking monster in the garbage chute staye scary enough to freak out any passing Jedi and what do i get? Like 3 space bux an hour and some living quarters! I've heard what vader is on and its bs to be frank. Next election (if there is one with the corruption these days) i'm gonna vote Binks, i hear he's gonna up the minimum wage and legalise weed. #420jarjar
Who keeps spray painting "2metersWIDE" on level 603?
>>679877144
I bet you're a fucking blast at parties retard
>>679877270
A New Hope was fucking great, episode 7 was badly written, though still entertaining.
>>679877270
remakes are always worse then the original
What? You are ordering for me to let them live and not kill them? Why? Oh you'll kill me painfully otherwise... great.
>>679857760
El oh el
>>679876393
Yo Chris, i know you love Stacy and i hate to tell you this, but some guys in the locker room this morning, they had those pictures, they said they were all over the holonet.
I just thought you should know.
>>679877364
>space bucks
Are you high right now?
>assigned to death star
>never get to do this
>>679858560
Fag
>>679877144
Soooooo, You're not a fan of science fiction?
>>679876899
And get my ass force choked or something in front of everybody? Shit I'm already humiliated enough as it is.
>>679877251
Tim, i-is that you?
>>679871195
40 degrees down
You'll find girls of all species there!
>>679877916
I love proper science fiction such as doctor who. Not this retarded star wars shit
>>679854994
Kek
does anyone else do things to piss off vader intentionally so he chokes you, because that gets me hard
Crap! Where almost at 300 replies... The trench run is imminent. The wings are reporting in...
>>679878188
Ahahaha. Time Travel is more believable?
>>679871885
Shit... I heard that if you wear that robe you're officially a Lord Palatine's sex slave... I don't want to think about how they use those sticks...
God save the sheeve...
>>679877398
>>679877916
I know right?
He may get dubs on both his post and reply, but he certainly won't appreciate what my level 42 Sexually Enhanced Paladin(SEP) could do to his body at my D&D parties/weapon collection shows. So fuck him right in the ass.
>>679872618
Punch him in his ballsack
It happens to be under his chin
>>679878453
Its actually been proven but I wouldn't expect you to understand cutting edge science, or do I have the time to explain it to you. Not that you would follow anyway
Go back to your lightsaber before this nerd thread dies
HERE WE GO!!!
>>679878757
Ding ding ding
>>679878961
Not back in time retard
>>679878961
Ha!! Right!! And how do you handle causality??
>>679878188
So... a box that has more space on the inside than it's outer volume.
Sure, kiddo.
>>679879054
...Is this another drill?..
>>679879040
Red October standing by
>>679879136
With a big rod and a nice pointy hook
>>679879040
Red Jumpsuit, standing by.
>>679879040
Red Six Standing by
>>679879040
Crap!! We gonna explode... Some one warn Tarkin before the thread dies!!
>>679879251
> standing by
> standing
> st
You had one job
>>679879040
Standing by
![231U9[1].jpg](https://cdn.randomarchive.com/b/image/1460/923/1460923901631.jpg "231U9[1]")
