I haven't been laid in over 6 months
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
I haven't been laid in over 6 months
I never have the courage to say how much I love a woman by 21 years. I feel a pussy for that.
>>679587600
You're on /b/ m80 that's average.
Try 14 months.
Try 15 years...
no one has sucked my dick since i was 8.
>>679587600
Try 4.5 years.
>>679587600
18 and kisless. Could be worse you fucking degenerate.
I haven't spoken to anyone in my family in a year. I wish I could say I love them but, I don't.
>>679590137
I feel this. My mom is a fucking psychopath and everyone else in my family is afraid of her going psycho on them so they all kiss her ass. We all live within 3 miles of each other but barely see one another.
Is this whole thread just gonna be a competition as to how long we've been without sex?
I'm ashamed I was dumb enough to think this girl was into me last week, and I fucked another nice, genuine girl over for her.
>>679589249
Yeah, but im married now, happy and whit a good woman, but I feel this fucking desire to not dead whit out tell her that i love her. Is sucks, because we were not friends at all before, but we are now. So I choose to ignore her because i dont want to bring mess to my marriage.
>>679587600
My last long gap was around 16 months. Then I banged two roasties in separate incidents on the same day. Was a good day.
>>679590488
Ahh I get that man.
See I broke up 14 months ago and just haven't met anyone new since.
Not getting sex when you're married must suck.
Was Valedictorian of my high school and had offers from several decent local colleges for full rides.
I decided to 'take some time off'. I'm now 31, live with my parents and work a pissant deadend job for $10/hour
>>679587600
going on 4 years fam
>>679587600
8 years, cry more bitch
18 years old, I get enough opportunities with girls but somehow always fuck it up before getting anywhere. Last occasion has me suicidal today, thought a girl was finally into me after hoping for probably 6 months. Hung out two nights this week and now she's obviously lost interest because I couldn't even talk to her. I don't know what's wrong with me.
>>679587600
I lost my virginity at 17 to a girl who cheated on her boyfriend to fuck me.
I'm mormon.
>>679587600
Transcended humanity to becom a wizard already because no one in their right minds would let me lay them. I'm the real degenerate here.
>>679587600
I'm 25, never had a job, can't even kill myself properly and have no ambition to change.
Can we move past sex?
It wasn't meant to be a competition.
>>679590977
Lol bruh same
I managed to get my 30-year-virgin wizard powers 15 years early in high school via some /x/ bullshit.
I used the powers to make people think I was invisible.
>>679587600
i haven't been laid in over 6 yars
my past friends are already graduating college and at well known unis
meanwhile im still at my second year and im 3 yrs older than my classmates at a cheap community college
i don't talk to them now because of this
I've 100 percented Terraria.
Twice, on two different installs.
>24
>haven't been laid yet
sometimes I like to go on Craig's List
to look at all the women looking for sex
but I really don't wanna lose my virginity that way
a part of me is desperate enough to do it though
i'm way too shy to ever approach women
i am ashamed of this /b/
>>679591093
24 and kissless, handholdless virgin here
not even fat or bad looking
do I win?
>>679587600
>>679589249
>>679589645
>>679589873
>>679590042
>>679590869
you must be some ugly motherfuckers
I acted like an ungrateful piece of shit one christmas when i was little. i hate myself whenever i think back to it and feel ashamed.
>>679591609
>>679591544
ay, same
but at least you got dubs
>>679591409
>>679591544
>>679591609
more ugly motherfuckers
>>679587600
35 years with no dates nor intimacy
>mfw feeling no shame whatsoever
I do feel ashamed about a few inappropriate things I've said, and once I borrowed a special, unobtainable, detonator/fuse plier for dynamite that I left after litting the fuse, needless to say it was never found again and the guy I borrowed it from was gutted.
I had sex with a 19 year old on webcam the other night. first time ever having sex in front of people. I did well because I was too high to be nervous.
>>679591719
>>679591614
>>679591609
nope. I'm literally hours away from turning into a wizard. i.e. 30
I couldn't get into college, my girlfriend of 4 years left me for a hipster felon, and most of my friends are gone away, doing there own thing.
>>679591946
happy birthday, anon
hope you have a nice one
I'M ASHAMED OF OPERATION TAMPON TYRANNY. OPERATION IS A GO! I REPEAT OPERATION TAMPON TYRANNY IS A GO! COME JOIN US ANON AND LETS MAKE THIS SHIT EXPLODE! >>679569059 >>679583077
Im 26 and bite mye fingernails and eat buggers, ive been caught eating buggers several time but i cant stop dong it.
>>679591493
I also had 800+ hours before the 1.3 update
>>679587600
why do you want flowers around your neck?
>>679592114
mid-lower tier kek
I'm 27 and had to move back in with my Parents late last year because life sucks, also I'm a single father.
>>679591872
THANKS NIGGER IMMA DOWNLOAD THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW GODDAMN
>>679592047
thank you. you have nice one too. sucks tho for intimacyless. oh well. invisibility powers get.
>>679591614
Or y'know, not stressed by getting sex.
>>679591872
Cancer
>>679592058
this will never work
>>679592451
just listen and believe
>>679591329
>>679590977
I lost my Virginity the same way, and completely off guard
>>679587600
>checked
haven't fucked in over 3 years now. I'm becoming a born again wizard.
>>679591946
>>679587600
> I'm actively throwing my life away for no real reason.
On track for a first in a STEM field, have good looks and great family and literally nothing holding me back but I'm likely just gonna graduate, move back in with parents and stay single with possibly shit tier job if I'm lucky.
When I was like 10 I caught a little green lizard and peeled its skin off while it was alive
I cringe every time I think of being that faggoty and edgy and I can't imagine what the poor little harmless lizard was feeling and thinking
>>679593075
why tho
>>679593166
it's okay, anon, everyone is a faggot at age 10
>>679593166
sounds like you skinned an anole alive. I know it doesn't make you feel better, but I have an ex girlfriend who bragged about killing her pet gerbils, and even laughed about it like it was remotely okay.. freaked me out desu.
Worse than going months without sex, I used to bang this thing
>>679593448
honestly not sure. I know what I need to do to make my life better, I just don't do it.
i love fucking married women and destroying their marriages. i mean, the latter isn't necessary but knowing they crave my cock over someone who's willing to lose half their shit if the relationship fails turns me on so much and i hate that about myself.
but seriously, they fuck like my cock is the last one they'll ever touch. and they're fucking fiends and sadistic as fuck. one does it out of revenge (her husband cheats on the regular but they have kids in their teens). barely acknowledges me except for my cock.
another fucks me the way she wants to fuck her husband to the point she makes me wear his clothes (he's an XXXL and i'm an L at best) and wear his cologne. super weird. makes me cream her every time (but she doesnt know im snipped).
another will routinely have me go down on her while she's on the phone with her husband and talk home kinda shit and claw me while she cums and her voice will quiver...while she's talking to her husband.
another (this was newer, started a few months ago?) is a lesbian. her wife won't fuck her with a strap on insisting some patriarchy shit. sucks my cock like she paid to to learn in college, makes me fuck her in the ass (no pussy, she's paranoid but damn she tastes great). usually ends with her going to pick her wife up from work with my cum still on her breath.
>>679595535
>i love fucking married women and destroying their marriages. i mean, the latter isn't necessary but knowing they crave my cock over someone who's willing to lose half their shit if the relationship fails turns me on so much and i hate that about myself
I get that urge too lol.
>>679595767
it sounds really gay but seriously, i dont know why this turns me on so much. and im not into being a cuck or a bull or whatever the term is. i've gotten offers for that before but i dont really care for it. it's when the wife actively will cheat on her husband and almost flaunt it. that shit gets me rock hard for multiple orgasms. wish i knew how to curb it :/
(and yea, it's not like i do myself any favours, i tend to go to nice, hotel bars n shit and end up meeting lonely women. i just tend to fuck the ones with rings on their fingers till).
>>679587600
i have this schizophrenic with psychosis that is a problem in my life, ashamed as fuck that its a thing. (for it)
indeed schizophrenic, youre in one glass mountain
>>679587600
>I haven't been laid in over 6 months
Has absolutely no meaning so kinda gringe teen we have here.
>>679587600
Been with girlfriend for a year, never made her cum....
>>679587600
>6 months
7 years for me.
I have a crush on my stepdaughter that borders on obsession. Wife knows, but maybe not to the full extent. Our marriage is open - we swing - wife has made it clear that stepdaughter is the one fish in the sea i'm not allowed to touch.
Nothing in common, nothing to talk about, don't like having her around the house for extended periods of time - just long enough to feed the obsession until i get sick enough of myself.
Never gonna happen. Love them both too much to fuck things up. But i feel guilty for / distracted by what's inside me a lot of the time.
>>679590137
This is nothing to be ashamed of. Mpeople will let family ruin their lives just because they are related. Ridiculous. If being away from them makes you happy then good for you.
>>679587600
I've gained a lot of weight in the past few years.
>>679587600
im an alcoholic and an angry drunk because ive become bitter and jaded in my existence
>>679587600
I'm Only 5.5"
>>679587600
I still haven't gotten laid. Get the fuck over it you nigger.
>>679587600
Thats okay,OP,I havent been laid in over 21 years.
>>679587600
I feel like I'm settling for the girl I'm with. It kind of bothers me every day.
>>679587600
i'm at a shit school and i dont even have a 3.0
>>679597319
Same here, only I'm more lethargic about everything expect work. Only because that's how people survive these days. Bitter and jaded as fuck, but just over all lethargic.
>>679597340
Don't sweat it bro, my grandpa was too. And he's a fucking boss. Just something about him, I guess a Napoleon complex that he knew how to work. But whatever it was it worked, people and family still don't give him shit about whatever he says. Lol
I had sex with my 13 year old step sister while high on meth
I really wish this was bait
I put a voodoo curse on my neighbor just days before Katrina.
>>679587600
I hold in my shit because the anal contractions are orgasmic
>>679591329
>>679592576
>>679590977
Kek me too
>>679592114
`aka`aka
>>679592355
Kek, this is how I feel. I'd take it, but I see no reason to, my hand works just as fine + I don't have to spend money on some stupid bitch because "sex feels good"
>>679592194
Shit dude. You haven't got anything to be ashamed of, life really is sucks in many ways. The most important thing you have to do is be a good father I think.
i kissed my 9 year old sister and rubbed her puss, she said stop so i just went a rubbed one in the shower and we went to bed....
>premature ejaculator
>had sex only twice
>afraid to try again because of possible humiliation
>>679593903
Ha, my friend did that once, he hated her and would bitch about her when we were sitting around drinking beers. I remember him saying sometjing like she would eat almost all the time, even during sex, somehow she didn't exactly reflect the cow life style tho, only about 100 pounds over weight
>>679600860
I hate when people use the word puss (in writing) because it reminds me of pus.
>>679591878
kek
truth for da troll>>679591946
>>679601271
>eating during sex
>>679590488
>but im married
what the fuck did you expect
women are money grubbing whores and the scum of the earth
28yrs virgin
I win right guys
>>679591946
sorry anon didn't mean to link you as a troll in my other response here >>679601551
fucking mobile screen
>>679598805
>continue
>>679591609
Same boat but 21
>>679587600
Alright guys, I've never told anyone this, I dont know why I did what I did, but I did it.
>Be me
>Last day of 8th grade
>Hated everything about middle schoole
>had few friends because I was fucking retarted.
>Was mad and feeling edgy
>ask to use the bath room
>Walk on into our doorless stall bathroom
>Take a massive shit. Sit there and think for a moment.
>Wipe
>stand up
>reach into the toilet and pick up a massive turd.
>I hucked it at the ceiling and it stuck
>turd was stuck there all day
>Go back later, bunch of guys who used to bully me because i was fucking stupid and shit.
>One starts to make fun of me
>suddenly, shit falls from ceiling and pegs him in the forehead
Was the best day of middle school... But I have so much shame...
>>679590864
Same fam ;_;
>>679587600
lol noob, been 4 years for me
>>679602259
Dude don't feel shame for that. That was some awesome karmic shit right there.
Iv never once carried out anyone of my ideas
I got one where I go to a catholic church and tell the father that iv been fucking my step-daughter because she found cp on my computer, just to see their reaction but I'm to lazy to do it
>>679602655
oddly enough no one ever found out it was me. On top of that as soon as I got to high school I stopped being a massive faggot, got a group of friends and quit being such an autist.... Never monkied shit at anything again.
i waited years to start mit ocw for ee/cs instead of just doing it. i can easily handle it and now i'm way behind where i should be. ._.
>>679587600
I haven't been laid in 19 years
I haven't touched a girl in a romantic or sexual way since summer 2006
I told my parents I flunked out of college because I was depressed..... I umm... Was actually just really high, drunk or balls deep in someone else to give a shit about college....
I had sex with my younger female cousin.... Multiple times.... Good thing we were both teenagers at the time.
It's 3 am. I have work in 3 hours. I'm on /b/ desperately trying to socialize within anyone I can relate to
>>679603863
My love for you... Is like a truck. Berserker.... Do you want to making fuck berserker?
>>679587600
Manuel?
>>679603863
Have you tried to connect with an hero?>>679603863
I wrote this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wokiMc1Rjg
I have a slight crush on my coworkers' son. I only see him once in a while when he works as a seasonal help but I still think about him almost daily. He's such an angelic little creature and in some ways he reminds me of myself.
>>679604135
An hero is an aquatints that I'll never walk towards
>>679604014
classic.
>>679604014
My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks
>>679604444
4X4
>>679604524
I umm... I sucked 37 dicks...
>>679604631
In a row?
>>679604444
Witnessed, you shall go to Valhalla, shiny and crome.
>>679590864
Fucking Sleestack! Holy shit, haven't seen them in years!
>>679604734
While taking it in the ass.
My wife hasn't let me put it in her ass for about a month now but I'm too much of a pussy to tell her she doesn't have a choice
>>679604839
Just pull it out of her cunt and slam it up her ass you pussy.
>>679604839
Somehow I think she does.
>>679603830
This is relevant to my interests
>>679604524
Were any of them urs?
>>679605013
She liked it when I came inside her.
>>679603863
dude, it's all cool. You aren't the only one.
>>679605071
All of them were mine. I've been collecting them for years now. Velcro is magic stuff, anon.
lately i have been having fantasies about other men fucking my wife
>>679605400
been there. try it for real, it's awesome.
>>679587600
Bitch please it's been 4 years for me
Me, a married guy, drank too much and very aggresively came onto my friend (another married guy) outside while smoking. My wife was asleep in the house. Feel sorta bad I perpetuate the biscum stereotype, otherwise just thought it was fucking funny.
>>679604997
Nope. I'm a privledged white male. I can do whatever I want
>>679587600
19 years, kissless reporting in
>>679605375
U have 37 dicks? How many erections can u get before u pass-out or do u keep them in a bag over ur sholder and throw them at people who look sad?
>>679605661
Right.
>>679605477
whats the dinamic ? how do you convince her to
do it ?
I fucked a dog in the ass once.
>>679605855
Are you judging me? You're judging me, aren't you?
>>679591946
me too anon! お誕生日おめでとうごさいます！ I am turning 25。 I am a model in japan and California。。。 yet no girls for past 2 years.. both ex gf from japan cheated on my while i was in NASA for my research and modeling.. I am with you fam!
>>679587600
I'm a murderer.
>>679605540
mirrage more like mirageHAHAHAHAH i hope that child was worth it
>>679606136
Who did you kill?
>>679605661
Thats what all the SJW say, must be true, u might rape her tho, hopefully ill get a white male judge n he'll let ya go
WHITE POWER?
>>679606247
Some bitch who was cheating on me.
>>679587600
Six Years.
>>679587600
I think I only support my sister and throw every paycheck I can at her is because I want to fuck her deep down in my soul.
That and she is the only thing left in this world that reminds me of my mom.
>>679605974
start with 'dirty talk', if she responds at all just continue to expand and start to include males that she knows in the fantasy. It takes time but most women will be into it if they know their man is okay with it.
>>679587600
A year for me, not ashamed though because I'm not looking.
>>679606339
Name her you pussy. Not like any of us are snich faggots.
>the only girl that's slept with me is my cousin
>drive a kia
>sucked dick for a coke
>>679598774
lmao
>>679606051
No, I really want to know, where do u keep ur 37 dicks? Are they all functional? How do u get them? Can I have dicks graphed onto me?
>>679606518
Samantha.
>>679606579
this interests me as well.
>>679587600
I only make 75K a year
>>679587600
I've had sex with only one girl my whole life, for 12 years. She broke up with me and I'm too scared to fuck anyone else
>>679606621
Nice. We'll just say my little girl never woke up after the last encounter with the monster in her closet.
I can only get off to furry incest porn
>>679606772
dude, that sucks. do your best to push past that barrier. small strides, you can do it /b/ro
>>679597340
same bro... I'm only 5"7
I enjoy cuddling more than I do sex. I'm a 6 foot 3 inch tall guy....
>>679606910
fake and gay. kill yourself for such weak ass bullshit bait.
>>679587600
I haven't gotten laid in over 6 years
>>679607067
I will be you in 4.5 years.
>>679607058
I'm not even joking, I've literally combed through all 114 pages of the tag on e621, and I've even begun to run out of material on furaffinity
I need help
I drink too much.
>>679598805
Tell me more
>>679606970
I'll try. Maybe I'll eat lead instead
>>679606910
Check out Inkbunny
>>679607242
>>679604014
>>679604524
>>679604631
Are we all just making clerks jokes now?
>>679607300
how much?
yesterday i had 4 beer and my girlfriend already started complaining
>>679607055
I enjoy fucking more than cuddling. I'm 4 foot 10 inches
>>679607242
This makes me sad
>>679607474
last night i drank a fifth of bourbon. tonight i'm on pace to drink 3/4 of a fifth
>I let my girlfriend watch me cum on my own face
>I jack off in my car frequently hoping a girl catches me
>>679607563
Want to get together and snuggle?
>>679607593
He could go find a girl that didn't suck 37 dicks though
>>679587600
Didn't get laid for 6 years, does that make me a virgin again no idea
>>679607472
It's a shame, I know.
>>679607650
That's a lot of math for a drunk
>>679607456
aw man, furry cub incest is gonna be a new low for me
i'm 43 years old, I make 100k+ a year, i live in a one bedroom apartment and am barely getting by because I'm supporting my wife whom I've been separated from for over a year. I'm a total pussy and don't have the balls to cut her off or officially end the relationship. This is my shame, every night.
>>679607722
I'd rather fuck tbh
>>679606428
ok cool
does she video herself or just tell you how it went ?
>>679607563
I enjoy 4 foot more than 10 inches. I'm fucking cuddly.
>>679607721
Oh God this made me remember that I used to expose myself to people passing our house when I was 15 or something.
>>679607772
believe it or not, I actually have a degree in mathematics (a minor degree to be honest)
I sleep with a sock on my cock becasue I have wetdreams so much.
Feels bad man.
>>679607957
I used to do it too. I still like doing it to be honest
>>679607960
I choose not to believe
>>679607725
Yea, but I was hoping for the god of dicks to visit me with his hairy sack of wonder
>>679607998
So that's where the Chili Peppers got it from.
>>679607862
Make it cuddle fucks and I'm in.
>>679606579
>>679606655
Only one at a time is functional. Most are in jars under the stairs. I won't bore you with the details of acquisition. And once you get your own collection, you can do anything you'd like with them.
>>679590042
What do you mean kissless, wtf Bro.
If you have a few mates hit a club man it's the easiest way to get laid. Trust me I'm a bartender
>>679607922
i'm 10 inches ;-)
>>679608121
meh, doesn't matter anyway. hasn't gotten me anywhere.
>>679608086
I also flashed my dick to our neighbors' daughter and her friend. They were like seven or so.
i havent gotten laid in almost a year.
but i think what's worse than that is that i'm actually not ashamed of it. i don't really give a shit, it doens't bother me. when people talk to me about it i get pissed because it comes with a stigma, but personally i couldn't give a shit
>>679608265
Fuck off Moe.
fucked a 14 year old when I was 18 but that's about it
>>679607819
Its art. nothing more. Not a low at all.
>>679590849
kek; you dun goofed son
Consequences will never be the same
I lost my sex drive years ago. I'm still attracted to women but not enough to even fap more than once ever couple of months, even then it's forced.
>>679608373
Nah never did nothing like that I always liked flashing older women. I usually try and do it in the car or something where I won't be really seen too much
>>679607650
dude thats only like 0,75 litres, not that much...
got a friend who drinks like 1,5 litres on a good day
>>679608302
Probably because math is for nerds and no one likes nerds. You do math therefore you are a nerd. Thus no one will hire you. How's that for a brain buster math bitch?
>>679607860
got kids?
otherwise i dont understand it
>>679599007
kek
>>679608562
Where are you from?
>>679587600
15 years here.
>>679587600
I can't stop farting
>>679608730
germany
>>679608484
Same.
Best sex I ever had to this day.
I gained some weight due to pregnancy then miscarriage. Eat like a bird and restrict, gain tons of weight. I'm ashamed to see anyone who knew me before I put on weight. When I do see them, my stomach evacuates itself. Also trying bulimia but it keeps coming out my nose.
>>679608183
kek
>>679608643
lol...huh? My major was in computer science, provides quite a nice living financially speaking. Nerds rule the adult world. You'll figure it out, junior.
When I was a teen I carved the name of the girl I liked into a desk at my friend's house. Luckily they didn't make me fix it.
>>679608236
Have u ever attached one of ur dicks to a robot and tried entering it into a cock fight?
>>679608687
nope (step kids, but not the same), I dont understand it either. Im just a pathetic excuse for a human who cant stand up for himself. it sucks worse because i can recognize it but not do what is necessary to change it.
>>679590488
what did you expected marriage is a scam
>>679604524
I regret bringing this up.
>>679601932
/thread
>>679609245
this
>>679608963
I guess I don't know what the fuck a minor degree is. A major is the degree in America, the only country that matters. Are you French or something?
>>679609245
so much this
>>679609232
"Then he'll accept my fatness and I'll divorce him anyway."
>>679609321
when you get to college (if you get to college) you'll figure it out.
>>679587600
I extorted thousands of pounds of my parents making out that i myself was being extorted by gangsters, in reality i spent every penny on ketamine and used to sniff 5grams + in my room alone evrey night, i love you mum thank you for helping me
>>679587600
I haven't been laid in 6 months and I'm going break my dry spell with this 60 year old lady I met on Craigslist. talk me out of it Bros.
>>679609083
I don't know enough about robotics or hydraulics to make this work - it'd just flop around like a... well, like a limp dick.
>>679609498
dude, do it. close your eyes, spit on your cock and pound that dry, wrinkled cuz.
>>679608484
i think youre confusing pride with shame
>>679608883
it's not like you raped a 4yo or anything bad. sexually active 14yos are pretty common. youngest girl ive fucked was 11, i was 14.
>>679609321
>proud of his ignorance
You are a cute lot.
I'm dating the perfect girl but am still stuck on my ex.
>>679587600
>molested my dog
>fantasized about my best friends wife
>sext with a gay guy on another website because he was giving me attention with no intention of reciprocating
>constantly complain about my weight, but no ill never exercise
>complain about job, no intention of leaving because it's comfy and easy
>just bitch about life in general but am not taking measures to improve mine.
>have a tiny penis
>>679609722
man, that is rough. been there. may as well break it off now, you will never stop thinking about your ex. Your current will never give you that same feeling
>>679609770
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/btard
>>679587600
I cheat on my pregnant 17 year old gf
I'm 36
>>679587600
I got a Good Enough Degree (G.E.D)
>>679609770
You molested your dog?
wtf man
>>679609460
College is a scam. I need a bunch of Jew professors telling me that I evolved from a monkey fish frog
>>679609770
are you me?
>>679610052
You tell 'em Skeeter!
>>679609709
thanks i hope youre cute too
I'm listening to a playlist of all of The Killers songs.
43, married, love my kid but not my wife, fuck a lot of pros and trans when I can. Not sure what to do. Secretly addicted to meth and not so secretly alcohol. Still hold down a good job and earn $ but feel on the edge of it all coming undone
>>679610051
Loneliness and horniness are a terrible thing combined.
Obv I regret it
>>679610058
Prob not...
>>679609963
...???
That I'm 26 years old and had to restart my life last summer. I live at my dad's place. I work a minimum wage job, and I don't have a car. I do the best I can and work hard and thankfully I have a girlfriend who loves me and understands.
>>679597340
My father is 5.2" and has been happily married for over 20 years.
>>679610350
Because it will my friend. You got some fucking demons
>>679609709
Hay, don't lump me in w/ that lot, if it were up to me, america would be alittle more like the EU only w/ public displays of stupidity being a crime punishable by capital punishment, which would become our mascot. And our military would pullout, come home, and whip our lazy asses into shaped. Also the military would rule with an iron fist until people stopped being niggers
>>679610350
dude...shit is going to crumble around you unless you start to address your problems (start with the meth shit, that will fuck your shit faster than anything.)
>>679610331
Finally something truly shameful.
>>679589129
At least you can drink.
>>679610560
Semper Fudge!
>>679609655
Buy one from online, I'm sure amazon has something with a manical arm that would whip a dick around and beat people with it. If not then theres a gap in the market that needs servicing.
>>679610350
ditch the wife and kid and follow your dreams with tina
>>679610577
meth I am least worried about, I use for a few weeks then take a break, in truth I can take it or leave it and if my dealer didnt ring up pushing it I wouldnt bother. Alcohol and pros harder
>>679591468
hoff fag
>>679610994
cant ditch the kid
>>679591946
happy birthday anon, may you be bestowed with honor and wisdom of the wizard.
>>679610977
No way, online shoppers are just weird.
>>679590977
dubs is life
>>679593166
My ex girlfriend drove each other so crazy, that in her anger and misery, she captured a squirrel (I don't know how the fuck she did that) and killed it.
>>679610943
"Beatings will continue until moral improves." would be a mandatory saying on any clothing that was not a uniform, suit, law enforcement, mil are the only exceptions. Idk if it would change the worlds attitude of us, but any "terrorists", withinthe government or otherwise, would probably think twice.
Also any liberal that was a bitch about liberties would be flogged until they understand why they are wrong, no explanation, no mercy, just floggings until they get it.
>>679591842
moar
Nice try, but you,re still not as big of a smug faggot as the average /r9k/nine.
>>679611685
But they do it in the nude! Nothing weird about that, just a 2' dildo up their ass. Perfectly normal. Online shopping, turning everyone gay.
>>679600527
or maybe youre just too much a faggot to admit youre a pussy and cant even earn pussy
>>679601001
You know, my first time I had sex, I lasted at least an hour, it was perfect. Following that I still lasted for anywhere from an hour to 40 minutes or so. But eventually, I one time fucked the girl who I lost my virginity to in a forest and busted quickly. Then from then on, I had premature ejaculation problems. I came to two hypothesis', 1. As teenagers and even adults, we trained our selves to masturbate quickly; whether it is fear of being caught, or we're in it simply not for the ride but the destination. 2. We are biologically engineered to not last a substantial amount of time because if we can't reproduce quickly, then we're getting eaten by fucking lions. I've come to terms that it is more often/likely the first notion. I rarely masturbated for enjoyment but rather to fulfill a sexual desire, and that meant getting it done with asap. Now however, I intentionally desensitized my dick by practicing long masturbation sessions. It is key to relax, make sure all muscles in your body are nice and relaxed and not in a state of contraction. Also, make sure you are breathing adequately, no holding breath, no short fast breaths, but nice smooth deep breaths. Also, practice keeping your mind calm, try not to hyper focus on sex and the emotions given off of the act. Relax, take your time, if you feel you are getting close, change positions and by yourself a few seconds to slow down; prior to sex, spend a lot of time on foreplay, finger her like no other, eat that pussy for days, have her already satisfied, then start sex off nice and slow, breath, relax, and enjoy yourself.
>>679587600
I decided for shits and giggles to ask friends I met online to lend me money (not a lot $30-50 for most part highest was $500 though) And It got to a point where I don't think there is a person online I didn't ask for money but funny thing is 80% i'd say said yes. Now I have a lot of people I talk to online but some where offering who didn't even talk to me for more than an hour.
I guess I took advantage of a lot of people and in truth I paid most people back as I was more seeing how much I could amass but I got over $3,000 in 3 months.
>>679604631
whooooorre
>>679612523
Huh? Earn pussy? Like its a reward? How about I literally give 0 fucks & u feel important because u can talk stupid girls ontour dick? Life is more than just sex and, IMO, most people do not & will not understand that, because, in their mind, they are important.
TL;DR sure, if thats what u need to make u feel better
>>679606267
fucking 14yearoldbetanewfagautist
>>679606621
please explain anon. was it something you had to learn to live with or do you have absolutely no regrets?
>>679612912
How long did it take for you to last longer again?
>>679590042
30 and kissless. Get on my level.
>>679613859
Well Kiss sucks, so good for you.
>>679587600
I never told my mother I loved her when I past the age of 14.
when I was 13 or 14 I went through a phase of dressing up in my sister's clothes and fapping in front of the mirror
>>679614016
I did that too.
>>679613615
Woops, forgot the /s kinda thought it was implied by the ? Also, why jump to insults? Its just one big tarsfest in here, no reason to go full potato on us
So, i didn't graduate from school because of some stupid clerical error. I could wait for them to resolve it(it's been almost a year). or i could Just redo three years worth of work. I'm ashamed that i can't bring myself to tell my gf, that this is the reason i can't get a job. or rather t's the reason I am afraid to look for a job. It' the reason i didn't join the army. I know what she's going to say already. but i still can't bring myself to tell her. The fact that i've never really had to apply myself doesn't help. If i wanted to do something.... i just did it and if I couldn't do it then i realized it wasn't something i could be good at. i accepted that as fact, now I suck at math.
>>679587600
Coming to this board
>>679613774
It was a steady process. I can't give you a definitive answer given for a long time I really never committed or consistently practiced that advice. However, it was a few weeks ago when I decided to masturbate and try to really enjoy it, as in take it slow, didn't ultraspeeddeathgripforsonic mode, relaxed, made sure no muscles are tense, I was breathing and it made a world of difference. I've had sex quite often, however, most of the times, as in 90% of the time I was drunk or on some form of stimulant so that already gave me more stamina. Honestly though, you could probably make some solid progress within a week. I hypothesize that you need to train your nervous system (similar to training muscles) to not get over excited. As weird as this sounds, intentionally desensitizing your dick helps too, like fapping with no lub, but not grinding the fuck out of your dick, give yourself a few dry handies.
>>679587600
Fapping furiously to rape fantasies involving some girls I know.
>>679613774
>>679614383
Furthermore, recognize that you are in this perpetual cycle, if you believe/fear you will prematurely ejaculate while doing the deed with a woman, you will already be overstimulated, tense and uncomfortable, the key is calming the mind and body.
>>679614383
Ok thanks! I've read about these self-help methods but it's good to hear about actual results.
>>679614723
Same thing with not being able yo maintain an erection at "go time"
>>679614723
Could botox work?
Would it just kill u?
Where would u inject it to make ur dick balloon up?
I don't enjoy sex
>>679611981
>any liberal that was a bitch about liberties would be flogged
there are people just like you who feel the EXACT same way you do. Do you think you would just suddenly view it from their point of view?
>>679591614
Since all these other fags are trying to pretend they're hardcore I'll just admit that I'm a self loathing ugly motherfucker.
>>679587600
My weight, my hygiene, my teeth, the fact that I'm a semi-kissless virgin, my laziness, some of my sexual preferences and some of my hobbies.
>>679615441
>I don't enjoy sex
It's okay, on /b/ no one can see you crying while you typed this.
>>679608377
I feel ya man. although i'm sure everyone will call bullshit, I actually am an attractive, muscular, intelligent, empathetic, successful and charismatic person; each and every time I have gone out with the intentions of getting laid, I have. But I go 6 months, sometimes a year (other times I'll have sex with different girls a few times a month) without sex, I just don't really give a fuck. Most of the time, the whole process of dealing with some random chick I couldn't give a shit about just to get off isn't worth it most of the time. I'd rather hang out at my house and relax, then deal with the clubbing/bar scene. I hate this period of my life (early 20's). I am a recovering addict so I lived life fast early, now at this point, I really despise and don't enjoy going out on the weekends, standing at bars with music too loud to hear anyone and attempt to look "good" and "social." I personally enjoy one on one conversations, I don't like large groups. I would much rather hang with one or a few interesting individuals, who are highly intelligent and critical thinkers, talk about some bullshit, flaws in logic, modern science and technology, you know, the random shit, than go out and pretend I like and enjoy having superficial moment long conversations with 50 people while drunk.
>>679587600
how much time i waste of my precious youth on reddit, 4chan and stupid games like slither.io instead of working to become a better me
>>679615780
That's the thing, I don't cry. I don't feel anything.
>>679615802
Is this a new copy pasta?
Pics or gtfo faggot. No one believes you.
