Feels thread continued. Max, if you're still there, good bye
Bumping. Fuck everything.
>>678248757
OP here.
What's bothering you anon. Let it out
>>678248578
Here's hoping Max is still with us...
I miss her so much
Goodnight guys, had fun feeling with you all. Sleep tight little puppers. One day at a time
>>678249102
If he doesn't an hero, his remaining life will become nothing. He's going out with honor and his memories. Wherever max is, he's better off
>>678249124
Greentext for us
>>678249345
Night friend
>mfw I'm a fat fuck
>tfw you want to be fit
You're standing in a blank room with a glass wall separating another blank room. She's standing there, on the opposite side of the room. Emotionless. Staring at you. You begin walking up to her, but you're soon met with the glass wall. You're confused. "Why can't I be with you, again" you ask. She stands there, as emotionless as a corpse, staring at you. You begin thinking of ways to get through the glass wall. You hit the wall. Nothing. You kick the wall as hard as you can. Nothing. You ask for her help. Nothing. You scream as loud as you can. Nothing. You start getting frustrated. You want her to be in your life again. You miss her. She was an amazing friend. She was your life. Frustration turns to anger. You begin the thrash around. Screaming at everything. She stands there as if she's silently judging you. You start blaming her for your stupidity. You scream words of profanity at her in hopes of making her realize a crime she did not commit. She does nothing. You begin hurting yourself in this process. You start deny that any of this is happening. You tell yourself "Everything will be okay, the wall will disappear soon and she will be with me again". So you prepare to wait as you try to calm down from your fit. You stare at her waiting for a response. Voices begin telling you "She doesn't want you in her life" "You need to move on". You don't listen. You're determined to have her in your life again. The waiting slowly takes a toll on you. You make more bad decisions and think of more bad thoughts. You start wanting to die as she stares at you with an almost bored expression. You become more accustomed to thoughts of death as they slowly become a normal routine. You hate yourself. You hate yourself more than anything. You start questioning "Would anyone miss me?". The dreaded question appears in your mind, "Would she miss me?". You know the answer, but the slowly dwindling hope inside you says "Yes". Will continue in next post.
I figure this is an emotional thread, people post things that get to them, or have happened to them. This will be my first time sharing.
>When I was younger I was a fucking asshole
>Dad was a drunk abusive fuckwit to mom and sis
>Mom finally divorced him
>Constantly pining for the dad who won't call or visit.
>Take out frustrations on mom and sister.
>Whining to get my way. Treat my sister like shit because we have different dads.
>Every day telling my sister I hate her, she's not my real sister etc.
>Even slammed my head into the concrete on the way to school one day so I could say she was beating me.
>Silently blamed my sister and Mom as the reason my dad wasn't around.
>Didn't understand at the time of course.
>Single mom, so she's always working.
>Sister is really more of a mom to me then my mom can be.
>Mom is drinking a lot too.
>Dad will make promises sometimes when he's sober.
>Says he'll come see me.
>Anytime he does he says hi and then talks to my mom for the remainder of his short visits.
>Better than nothing. Still want my dad in my life.
>He also likes to say he'll come see me and then not show up.
>Take it out on my sister by being demon spawn
That's the backstory for you.
>Be 14
>Years of being ignored by dad, but still wanting him to care
>Sister moved out when she turned 17, so when I was 10.
>Just me and mom now.
>Kind of trying to be a better person, but still play sympathy card on mom to get things I want.
>Her health is declining, but I don't really notice it.
>Come home from school one day to find mom frothing at the mouth and shaking on the living room floor.
>Diabetic, her sugar was too low or too high or something, can't really remember.
>After that, start really worrying.
>Treating mom a little better.
>Have no relationship with my sister, burned those bridges as a piece of shit kid.
>Mom starts dating one of my dad's old friends.
>The guy is pretty cool, I like him.
>I call him dad as soon as I know it's okay.
1/?
As found in my neighbour's house after she lived alone with Alzheimers for 6 years.
I think she died and then homeless people destroyed her house.
>be me 16 years old
>chillin with my boy mitch and 2 hoes from school on my boat
>shitty 14' carolina skiff but it gets the job done
>spend most of the day tubing and whipping around the pond
>sunset finally comes and we're all pretty tired
>start heading back to the ramp
>the hoe mitch brought, lets call her sally, has been pretty quiet for the last 30 minutes
>ramp is nearly in sight when sally starts saying shes never been fishing
>pretty sure she had an abusive father, understandable she doesn't want to go home but I was pretty tired
>whatever, bait up the 2 rods I had and cruise down stream a bit
>at a nice quiet inlet towards the end of the channel
>mitch and sally are fishing off the front of the boat, me and my girl, lisa, making out in the back
>10-15 minutes more pass, shits gettin heated in the back, lisas on top of me across the back seats
>suddenly hear a shriek and a loud thud
>lisa gets kinda pushed off as I'm checking the scene out,
>sally is quivering on the ground, mitch is motionless sitting off the side of the boat staring down into the water
>lisa is asking sally whats up, trying to comfort her
>I check out what mitch is looking at
>immediately and suddenly overcome with the smell of death, gut churning and feeling light headed
>a body is hooked to mitchs line, looked like an older man but was bloated and fairly decomposed
>lisa comes over and we all just stare in shock for what seemed like forever
>we try to compose ourselves a little, I cut the line and haul ass out of there
>sally is still shaking like shes freezing, lisa ended up puking
>I gulped down the shock and tried to explain that we can't tell anyone about this, we have no clue what happened and don't want to be involved
>we get the boat on the trailer, girls say quick goodbye and leave in lisas car
>me and mitch hop in my brothers truck and we had a pretty silent ride home
>my brother is sketched because we aren't usually so quiet, but we don't tell him anything about the body
>>678249815
Theres nothiong to say, i fuck up and lost her. I lost my everything.
>>678250872
cont.
>3-4 days pass with nothing unusual happening, end up seeing mitch at the beach
>hadn't talked in a few days, making obvious small talk to avoid bringing up the body
>"how's sally" grabbed his attention, though
>he says he hadn't heard from her since she went home
>later that night I'm texting lisa and asked her how sally was on the ride home
>apparently she cried and was shaking until she got dropped off
>fast forward 2 days, get a call from mitch right after I wake up, like super early
>he's talking really fast and sounds upset
>eventually he puts into words that sally was found dead in her room the last night, her wrists slit all the way to her elbow
>a couple days later, life has been slow and sad, hear the mom and dad are facing charges of child neglect
>the father was drunk and the mother was bruised when they found sally and called the cops
>pretty sure the father is still doing hard time
>a cop/detectcive comes around to my house, knows me and mitch were close to her
>asks if there's anything I know about her death
>for a few seconds the room spins, I feel chills and sweat
>"anything at all? was she a victim of bullying"
>my heart is in my throat, I try to say "m-...
>"mitch caught a body bout a week ago"
>"fuck with us and then we tweakin hoe"
>"run up on that nigga get to squeezin hoe"
Tell my niggas shmurda teamin, hoe.
The small hope that the glass wall will break and you can be with her once again. The truth is that the wall will never break. She will only stare at you and do nothing. You want to run up to her, hug her as tight as you can, and have her tell you its okay. That's all you want. That's all you want in life. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The worst part is that it's all my fault....
Chloe if you're reading this. I know it's my fault. I put myself in this. I did this to myself. I know I will never get you back. I hate myself so much. I hate life without you. Yet, you seem so much more happier without me. I know you don't care anymore, but I miss you so fucking much. I'd do anything just to have you back. I know that nothing will change tonight. It never does. I just want you to know, that year we knew each other was the best year of my life. You were the best person I've ever known. You're an amazing person and my best friend. I'm sorry this had to happen...
>>678249997
>He's fine with it. Can't have kids of his own because of some construction accident in his 20's.
>Teaches me how to shave, even though I'm still hairless.
>Answers all the questions I have. Teaches me how to defend myself.
>Lets me drive his Fiero on the country roads, teaching me in case mom has an episode and needs to get to the hospital quickly.
>Know that's bullshit, we have a phone, he's just trying really hard to be a father figure.
>It works.
>Wake up one night and he's screaming.
>Mom is purple on the living room floor, gasping
>She gets taken to the hospital.
>Diagnosed with Pancreatitis
>Scott is telling me to be prepared for the worst.
>I'm not ready for this shit.
>She's in the hospital for a few months.
>Finally able to come home.
>Not the same mom I used to have.
>Doped up on vicodin and Fetanyl for the pain
>Sister started talking to me again, but there's still a big distance between us.
>She's trying to prepare me for the inevitable.
>Living in a state of Denial.
>Mom always told me she wouldn't abandon me like Dad did.
>Scott can't take it, he leaves.
>Sister moves back in with us.
>Mom actually starts evening out, but is going to the hospital every few months for weeks at a time.
>Sister is going to have a baby.
>Going to be an uncle.
>Overhear mom one night crying to my sister.
>She's in a lot of pain...but she's worrying about me.
>Start trying to repair the damaged relationship with my sister, for my Mom's sake.
>Acting a little more decent.
>But we only act friendly in front of my mom.
>My sister wants nothing to do with me outside of that.
>I can't blame her, would you?
2/?
>>678251127
BITCH CAUGHT A BODY BOUT A WEEK AGO!!! Weekago
>>678251282
>Mom's health starts fading again.
>Gets admitted to the hospital.
>My aunts are coming from out of state to spend time with her.
>16 now, really able to comprehend this a lot better.
>I don't visit her.
>I can't look at my mom, who I realize has been so strong for so many years.
>Don't want to see her that weak.
>I watch my niece for my sister.
>The relationship has stabilized some...but can't even get a hug from sis.
>At school and called to the office
>My dad is there.
>Haven't seen this fucker in 8 years.
>His eyes are red, whether from drinking or from crying I can't tell you.
>Son of a bitch has the nerve to be the one to tell me that my mom died.
>I freak out and run like hell out of the school.
>Security Guards and Dad trying to catch me
>But I just keep running.
>Can't see where I'm going, vision blurred by the tears
>Cop stops me on the sidewalk and asks what I'm running from
>I can't talk, just choke out, begging for a ride to the hospital.
>He takes me to the station and has to put me in their drunk tank room because I'm a fucking wreck.
>Aunt comes and picks me up.
>Won't take me to the hospital.
>The last time I saw my mom before she died was 4 months prior.
>The last words I told her were "You're a goddamn liar."
>Her last words to me "I'm sorry Anon. Be a good boy okay?"
3/?
>>678251114
Get her back
>>678252292
Fuck man. That blows. Fuck.
We're here for you bro. We all can learn something from this shit
>>678252292
Holy shit i sorry for you anon
...
Whatever you do don't an hero
>>678251282
Lulz but not really the place boi
>>678249891
feel you
Inb4, I am underage b&
my dad is a fucking awful person, he used to be nice. I would get excited every day to see him come from work. Then he got fired. 5 years later, no work, and fucking does NOTHING to help the family. He sits around on his fat ass. Not even looking for jobs, or anything. The only shit my family eats is awful, because food stamps. Also, my dad only watches conspiracy theory shit, and alt history shit on YouTube, all fucking day, and brings up about how "the govt fucked me up" or some shit. I try to explain that unemployment rate is down. He doesn't believe me because its a .gov website. Now me, my parents, and my brother are moving in with my grandparents in a tiny town. I'll add some context in the next post.
>>678253214
Don't ever start off with, "underage b8".
Refrain from age assumptions in your greentext to avoid getting MODed
I am also somewhat liberal, and he fuckign can't accept the fact I have a different political view. I want to move in with my original parents (adopted within first few day from birth, because fianacial problems.) But my birth parents have a very steady income, but I don't want to leave my sick mom and my brother.
>Be me
>me 3 years old
>going on picnic with mom and dad
>take the 4 wheeler
>i sit up front
>on the way to our spot I make the worst mistake of my life
>i push the throttle with my little thumb
>we hit tree
>dad has fractured scull
>little me breaks the scull around one of my eyes
>mom is in bad shape
>ambulance takes us to hospital
>dad and I are okay
>find out that mom's head injuries killed her
>her last words
>"where's Shawn?" (me)
>killed my own mom when i was 3
>can't stop feeling the guilt
>also, this is my first greentext. And it's a true story.
>>678253529
Sorry. I usually do t use /b/. I usually use the hacker known as 4chan for /mu/ and /wsr/
>>678251198
Don't an hero on me faggot. Not until you make sense and give us something man. We can help. Hell, you might benefit from it
Anyone cap the exchange between dead gf anon and the other teacher at her funeral?
>>678253794
She will never accept me. I just don't know what to do.
>>678252292
>the next 2 years of my life are a blur.
>Lots of reflection on my actions.
>How much of a little cunt I was.
>Sister has tried to meet me halfway, but I'm walled off.
>Graduate
>Get myself a job working with Scott for a trucking company.
>Don't like being in Michigan anymore anyway.
>Out of state when I get a call from my Aunt to come back home.
>She's really vague, emotional. Says it's best I'm there.
>Scott brings me back.
>Go to my Aunt's house...she looks a lot like mom and I get really choked up.
>She gives me the news that my sister was in a car accident, and won't wake up.
>My heart shatters.
Like...I don't know if any of you can relate, but it was at the point where I could feel my heart break, physically.
>I go to see her in the hospital.
>Tubes going into her and out from her
>Just collapse in the chair next to her bed and hold her hand.
>Crying, apologizing for every bad thing I said to her.
>For not trying harder to fix what I broke as a kid.
I wish I could say that this is where the primetime drama moment happened, and she squeezed my hand and opened her eyes, but I can't.
>I visit my sister every day, staying for the entire day when I can.
>When I'm not with her, I'm at my Aunt's house getting to know my niece.
>She doesn't understand, just wants to know where her mom is.
>I keep her distracted. She looks just like my sister.
>Treating this little girl like the most important person in the world.
>Spoiling her with presents, clothes, taking her out to dinner.
>Trying to make up for everything wrong I did to my sister, my niece taking her place.
>Praying for a miracle for my sis.
>Don't want to lose her.
>Karma is an asshole.
>After a week of fading vitals and close calls, she dies over night.
>When I got the call, I made up my mind I wasn't going to run.
>It's time to be a man and face the pain.
>I sit with my Niece at the Funeral.
>She's going to end up going with one of my Aunt's because her dad is just like mine.
>Nope.
4/?
>be me, 11
>mom in hospital after car accident
>Nothing serious, she had medical complications so it was just to monitor her health
>staying with grandparents while mom and dad stay at hospital
>dad picks me up to visit mom
>get off elevator on her floor, doctors nurses rushing around her room
>dad let's go of hand running to her room, screaming her name in desperation I've never heard before or since
>crying alone, scared, in Hallway
>she went to bathroom, locked door, stopped breathing
>10ish min later they open door and resuscitate her
>brain dead
>pull plug about a month later
Guys
If i ever get to die
I will remember how you /b/ros brought me a smile to my face
I will remember all the threads i browsed
I will close my eyes...
And if is there a afterlife
I will met other /b/ros
>>678253795
Wat?
>>678254351
Move on. All you can do.
Move someplace new, whatever it takes. You'll find someone
>>678254814
that's touching, anon
>>678254670
Fuck, I'm sorry anon
>>678254814
We'll see you, man. But never lose hope, and never give in, not even in the grim face of death.
>>678255024
When someone morphed you into the person you are today, you can't just let go. I am missing a part of me and I'm constantly reminded of it every single day. I would do so much better with her in my life again. Everything went to shit since the day she left.
>>678254592
Go on, man
>>678254814
>get to die
Don't worry anon, we are all born with the inherent ability and right to die.
>>678248578
whoa. i shit you not.
At the very moment I was reading this, I had just searched for, and queued up, Olson by Boards of Canada.
>>678255085
What did you expect? I'm a dramafagking
I could make a greentext story right now if i weren't on phone
>>678255280
Why did she leave anon
>>678255371
I tried finding him to. I guess we just wait for the obituary.
>>678254670
I couldn't imagine my dad's voice screaming my mom's name believing she died. Brutality /b/ro
>>678255607
>>678255513
>>678255410
>>678255398
>>678255371
music to feel too?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXbSfl0O3qU&nohtml5=False
>>678254592
>I pour all my savings into getting a good lawyer.
>I find out what I have to do to get guardianship and do so.
>One of my more well off Aunt's helps me get a place. Still paying her back to this day.
>Small house, nice little backyard with a firepit and a playground.
>Not far from the elementary school Niece goes to, which is good.
>Don't want to force too much change on her after this.
>Scott gives me a bunch of money. Proud I'm stepping up and being a man.
>It helps pay the bills and other necessities while I find a job where I can be there for my niece.
I'm 25 now. Turning 26 in June. My niece calls me Dad. Every year she looks more like my sister. I can even see a bit of my mom in her. She's such a smart little girl. She wants me to find and keep a girlfriend, but she always says the girls I bring home aren't good enough. If she doesn't approve, they don't stay. We go and visit my mom and sister's graves every year, and I tell her how much they both love her and how proud they are of the young woman she's growing to be. And every year, without missing a beat, she tells me they are proud of me too. I can only hope she's right.
>>678254670
what complications put her in a hospital for a fender bender?
got diagnosed with schizo
coped by going to a duran duran concert and sniffing lines of coke in the bathroom
back home now, feels are weirder then they've ever been. nile rodgers was there, that was cool.
>>678254914
Oh shit, I saw that but didn't screencap and then the thread 404'd...
Anon who's gf left him (and then later died after another 2 years or something), ends up finding out that another person who knew his ex gf is in the thread, and they had a brief back and forth. Was kinda trippy.
>>678256099
god those moments are fucking crazy, especially when they occur on /b/
>>678255410
I became an awful person. I brought unnecessary drama. I made her constantly pity me. I asked her for pity sex. It may not make sense, but she had every right to leave.
>>678255945
She was on blood thinners for some reason, I don't remember why.
>>678253214
have you tried beating him up ?
sometimes, what a man needs is a big slap in the face.
7520 Highland Dr
Everett, WA 98203-6501
According to Whitepages.
>>678255908
Don't worry a kid innocence is good
Even tough you're a great man
You where a asshole in the childhood but you said why...
Believe me
If they are watching you right now
They are thinking about how you grew how you are a man now
How do you love them...
I would continue but tears are filling my eyes
Good luck on your life trip, Anon.
>>678256099
Didn't she have a disease and left cause she held him back? All I remember is the other anon said she talked about him a lot the last 2 years.
>>678256797
Yeah, I can't remember what disease it was... I don't remember if it was like a mental thing and ended up with her dying via an hero or if it was physical... but yeah she left because she said she didn't want to hold him back.
>>678256451
Oh, sorry I asked man
>be me 5 years ago
>awkward nerdy 15 year old, not a lot of friends
>have to drop out of highschool because my mom's health is declining and nobody else can take care of her due to jobs or not being in the city
>take care of her every day for about a year, at one point she seems to be getting a lot better
>suddenly she gets a LOT worse, she isn't eating, she starts hallucinating constantly, forgetting who her children are
>do my best to keep taking care of her, even though it'd frustrate me at times
>i keep trying to get her to a hospital during her really bad episodes, but every time she'd arrive she'd tell them she's fine so they'd send her home
>one day she's barely coherent and falling over
>i call an ambulance
>turns out for a few weeks she'd been having a series of mini-strokes along with another brain condition that i can't remember rn
>she also had a condition with her leg that'd require surgery, they said after all was said and done she'd be expected to make a full recovery
>2 weeks later my brother shows up at my house saying she died in hospital due to a stomach rupture
i literally had no fucking clue how to take that news. my mom was the only parental figure i had in my life, and to hear one day that she'll be fine and have her die the next was the worst fucking thing that's ever happened to me.
i'm 20 now and i still miss her.
>>678256426
Man up and go fix it
>>678257052
I'm sorry /b/ro...
>>678254914
>>678256099
>>678256797
>>678257003
She had muscular dystrophy and anon said he was an active guy. Was gonna Screencap but yeah it 404'd. Crazy feels there, he broke down pretty bad.
>>678254670
Isn't this the beginning of Signs?
>>678255908
I'm sorry for everything that happened to you but it really does take a man to step up and do what you did. Your niece is really lucky to have you in her life.
>>678257052
My mother passed away when I was 15. It took me 10 years to get myself back together. The only way was by letting her go. I don't think about her everyday or every other day. I just had to let her go. It sounds awful, but it was the only way to make it out of that awful place I was stuck in. I'm 38 now with a beautiful daughter named after my mother. It gets better if you let them go. See, now you went and made me cry.
>>678257591
Kek, fucked up but I kekd
Told her that I love her.
She didn't care
hey fags with useless dads, how do you get over your dad being a dick. tried being mature and being cool with him but his history of pure assholery is too difficult to get by sometimes
So... I might ask why trump wants to build a wall.
I mean
Here in 4chan
Have you seen Frontiers in 4chan?
I mean like we can share our experiences with our /b/ros
And get confort from random extrangers from all age...
>>678257353
i know it's a natural part of life, but having a parent die is just one of those things that stays with you for life.
she was smart, hilarious, caring, and was one of the few people in my family who actually thought i could do something with my life. everyone else pretty much viewed me as a freak due to my antisocial nature.
the worst part is occasionally having dreams that she's still alive and i'm talking to her. i've woken up crying like a bitch multiple times because of it.
>>678257740
letting go is still hard, even years later. there's just so much i wish i could've said and done.
this is gonna sound ridiculous, but i used to go to a lot of anime conventions, and my mom always wanted me to bring her, but it was difficult to find accommodation for transport and the like since she was wheelchair-bound towards the end of her life. i was hoping to at least bring her to one before she passed.
i'm glad that you've managed to move on, anon. you're a much stronger person than i, and i'm glad that your life is looking up!
>>678257922
>"I love you"
>"awww, thanks anon"
>>678257922
girlfriend or? explain bro
>>678257377
fuckin eh
>>678258230
Boyfriend, his name is Robert Paulson.
>>678257052
Been 14 years here, time won't help. Focus on the good memories, not the loss.
>>678258041
Could you usea coherent sentence please?
Anybody else feeling for the guy?
>>678258724
I'm a mexifag
Please don't pressure me
>>678258151
winrar
>>678258074
What made it even harder was the fact that she wasn't speaking to me at the time. I had gotten ratted on regarding some pot use and she was extremely disappointed. And then she died. Brutal.
>>678258862
lol went though that. shit is awkward when you have friends over
my brother is being taken off life support tomorrow evening.
>>678249954
what is this from?
>>678258540
i'll try. thanks for the advice, anon. <3
>>678259090
holy shit, i'm so sorry. i can't even imagine how i'd feel if i wasn't on speaking terms with my mom and then she died. how're you holding up?
>>678258862
i've seen this a few times in games like this and Splatoon and it makes me really sad. kids have to turn to escapism via video games to forget that their parents are fighting and/or are abusive.
>>678259397
shit, how you holding up?
>>678258905
Shit nigga sorry
>dad gave me a brown leather jacket when I turned 13 as a xmas gift
>got pissed, wanted an Xbox
>wtf is this shit
>throw tantrum
>"I don't want this stupid coat, take it back"
>dad dies 4 months later from heart disease
>18yo me goin through attic, find jacket, it's nice fits perfectly
>ask mom where did dad get this jacket?
>"it was his as a teenager
I never even tried it on, thanked him, or even apologized for being such a little shit. My heart dropped as soon as she finished speaking. Haven't been able to pick it up since.
>>678258230
Nope, just somoene I thought I had chance with
>>678260163
Wear it and go get drunk and say sorry. Then never take that jacket off
>>678258151
This
>>678260163
shit, that sounds awful. honestly, the best thing you can probably do now is wear it, as difficult as it may be. it was important in his life, and it seems to be important in your life now.
>>678248578
Missed the last thread. Was there an hero?
>>678249954
this and your next continuation post are beautiful
Anyone want to give some life advice? I'm graduating high school in 2 months (inb4 underage ban, I'm 18)
I have no talents to speak of, I'm a skinny ugly kissless virgin white kid, and I have no idea what the hell to do with my life. My family's hardcore religious, and I don't know how to tell them I want to leave the church without them disowning me.
So if anyone has been in a similar situations, or just has general life advice, I'd be happy to listen.
Thanks anons.
>>678260791
Pray to Jesus
>>678260470
Yeah. His name was Max Olsen, from Washington. Check first image in this thread
>>678260300
>>678260430
I do wear it, it's the heart I can't pick up. I'll wear it until it's tattered and falling apart, then I'll hang it in my closet with his last letter to me (from the hospital) in the breast pocket.
>>678260978
Life ends and begins mane. But humanity will continue
>>678260263
you don't jump straight in to the L word bro
>>678260888
Checked
And not to sound like autistic betafag, but I've been praying to Jesus for 18 years and he hasn't answered yet. Plus I'm kinda turned off to religion as a whole. But thanks for the advice
>>678260163
fuck man, I'm calling my dad tomorrow
>>678254670
Gave me the worst chills I've had
>>678259811
My daughter calls me a robot. I guess it did something to me where other things don't hurt me. It made me stronger. I have no issue giving women up because I had to give up the greatest woman in my life. I'm really close with my family.that really helps.
>>678255908
I don't know man, I've been to some shit but not as hard as yours. Good luck with your journey in life anon.
>>678261649
hah, i had the opposite issue. i started getting super attached to my romantic partners afterwards because i didn't want to lose another female figure in my life. it's weird.
at least i haven't hit full freud levels of dating people that are similar to my mom.
>>678260791
Stop praying to Jesus and live your life for yourself. You might be ugly on the outside but you'll find someone who appreciates what's on the inside. Also, if you are ugly, appreciate they're inside if they're ugly too. But always live life for yourself. After all it is your life. You can always get rich and pay 10/10s to fuck and pretend to love you.
>>678261089
I'm beginning to realize that sometimes life doesn't begin until a life ends.
>>678260791
Don't fuck up your life just to make a point. Go along with your family's shit until you can get away.
Find a decent fucking job skill. This is important trust me. If you don't want to go to college don't. Go to a trade school be an electrician or some shit that pays well.
Don't, DON'T, DO. FUCKING. NOT. have a kid. This will fuck your shit up immeasurably. You love that bitch and she's so hot and you've never felt this way about anyone? Whoopde fucking Doooo. Use a fucking condom, make sure she takes BC. Get a goddamn vasectomy if you need to. But DO. NOT. Impregnate that bitch. It's easy to just say abortion but not everyone will actually be down with that when the time comes.
Good Luck Anon
>>678262348
Thanks.
>>678260791
I'm in your exact position except for two things. My family isn't super religious. But about a year ago, I stopped giving a fuck, improved myself a bit, and now I'm dating a girl of my dreams going to a local University to do what I love. It gets way better, anon.
>>678262626
Thanks a lot anon
> Fucked up my marriage over the course of about 2 years
> Untrustworthy, bad husband, amazing wife
> Everything shit hits the fan when my son is 6 weeks old
> Wife is bewildered and terrified
> Kicked out, divorce papers 6 weeks later
> Don't see my baby for 3 months
> 6 months after getting kicked out
> Get 1 hour a week with my son and ex wife
> The other 167 spent knowing that I can't kill myself
> Son needs his father
> Ex wife still loves me, doesn't know if she can be with me
> Have to earn her forgiveness
> 1 hour of happiness a week with scattered phone calls and emails to cling to
> Fuck
>>678261137
I didn't. It's not like I told after knowing each other for a week. I had been waiting for about right montgs or So before I told her and I was drunk when I did so
My father took me in and raised me as his own knowing full well I wasn't his son because my mom had an affair with another man.
He didn't even tell me on his deathbed when he passed from cancer.
I found out the truth by complete accident while I was deployed (Armyfag), and looking back the amount of love he gave me *knowing* I wasn't his is absolutely mind boggling.
And my entire teenage life I felt so resentful towards him FOR NO FUCKING GOOD REASON! AND I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR IT.
Dad.. I miss you so much man.. please forgive me for being the way I am.. I love you.
Sorry guys, i dont know how to greentext. longtime lurker here... Be April 7th 5 years ago... Be madly in love with a girl...ex of a friend who still has feelings... Bro Code sucks...Homeless, I live with her and her brother... We do everything together, Where she goes i go... Calls me her bodyguard when anyone asks... The day of her first university choale performance... "Sit in the front row so i can just watch you so im not nervous Anon.".. do what she says... sings wonderfully never taking her eyes off of me... Performance ends... Im her ride... take her home... her and a bunch of friends plan to go to dinner... im in the living room waiting on her to change... doesnt... starts fucking around with the stove... Ask her whats keeping her... "I dont feel like going out tonight, Anon"... Bro code induced Bitch out... make excuse to step out for a minute... stay out all night... Come back in the morning to get us both ready for class... she's sleeping on the couch still in the dress she wore to the concert... on the table are two plates of food... untouched... she wanted it to be a special night for both of us... I was a coward... Not knowing that exactly a month from that day she would be gone... (Continues)
>>678262989
This isn't a joke or some dick move. I'm ugly too. My life got infinitely better when I stopped caring what anyone else thought. Doesn't mean you have to be a dick but when someone's an asshole to you, shrug it off. Just means their life is so empty they focus on yours. Do what makes you happy. The confidence has even netted me a few 7-8/10s.
>>678263180
that's legit my worst nightmare, stay strong bro
>>678263262
still it's not like the movies, you should never say you love someone unless you're already in a relationship with them, and even then you'd had to be together for a while
the L word is intimidating for a lot of people, don't feel too bad about the reaction
>>678263448
May 7th... watching her play MAGIC in a university tournament... she kicks ass... stand over her shoulder watching every match... "is that your boyfriend" her opponent asks..."No, hes my bodyguard"... I try to play it off... looks up at me,smiling... "Anon, no one can hurt me if your around."... Leaves for a party afterward... couldnt join cuz work... Last words she ever says to me... (Continues)
>>678262626
Holy check'd
>>678263586
Oh sorry if my reply sounded sarcastic. I am legitimately grateful
>>678251127
Fuck you.
Good one tho
Work sucks, friends are becoming distant, surrounded by people I'm progressively hating more and more, can't stick to a diet or exercise regularly to save my life, still dealing with mental problems such as my depression slowly reappearing.
Oh and just today I found out my mom is cheating on my dad, so fuck me.
>be me
>Catholic
>meet qt 3.14 Catholic girl
>we have been on and off for years
>during an off period I had sex with somebody else
>she is still a virgin
>we are back together
>she is perfect and redpilled
>I am in love with her and fully intend on marrying her
>Tfw tonight she asked me if I have ever had Sex
>Tfw I had to explain myself to her
>Tfw I made her bawl her eyes out and hurt her in the worst way
>Tfw she has lost all trust in me and never wants to see me again
>Tfw I have become the degenerate
Never have secs before you are with the one you love holy fuck. After years of lurking and shitposting I thought i had become immune to fucking everything but this
This tore me up inside
>>678264063
Get fountain of calls at work next morning... bad shit happened at party... Murdered by someone she thought was a friend... Buddy made 911 call from the house... listen to the recording... Friend pulled her to another room and tries to treat her... hear her screaming in the background... cries for mom, dad, brother... long pause... "Anon, help me please".... The last words to ever leave her lips were her begging me to help her... (Continues)
Girl I was dating got raped. She walked me out of her dorm to my car for a goodbye kiss. On her way back in she was jumped by a group. I dumped her because she was withdrawn and frigid for months.
>>678264837
Fuck you dude, she needed you most then
>>678264837
Why, anon? She needed you more than ever.
>>678264837
nice, do you have any pics?
>>678264837
With a bit of comfort and therapy she would've been fine. You fucked up, anon, you're no better than her rapist.
>>678264837
wtf bro, you should've been more understanding of how vulnerable she was
>>678264691
Just got back from her grave... April 7th til past midnight... the day i should have given to her when she lived is now hers for eternity until i breathe my last... If this has taught me anything it is that if you love someone, and they love you, dont wait. because everything that matters to you can be taken away in an instant... fight your fears, make the move... you may not get another chance... thanks for letting me post my shitty story /b/ros... good luck guys
>>678265043
That's my point. My feels come from not being strong enough for her. She pulled me out of a terrible spot, I couldn't do the same for her.
>>678264837
Fuck you
>>678265043
>>678265184
>>678265393
>>678265436
>>678265528
Again, my point. I wasn't strong enough for her. It fuckin hurts. It just got so frustrating. We didn't hug for three months, I'd sleep on her couch not in her bed. She wouldn't want to be alone with me, she wouldn't trust the food I'd cook for her. I did try, I just wasn't strong enough and I've regretted not jusy staying the night, for 3 years.
>>678263645
Do not, I fucking repeat, do NOT EVER fuck with your life if you even THINK you have what you want. I seriously threw away the best things in my life, and redemption is a long, lonely, shadowed road with no certainty. He's an amazing little guy and she's perfect... I'm terrified they'll be snatched up by someone who didn't fuck them over like I did.
You have what you want, you protect it, be a man, a provider, a protector, and not an entitled piece of shit like I was.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GifS4zwggE
Once watched a young teen get hit by a car. Omw to work so I didn't stop. They died, saw on the news. Driver was arrested a few days later. I could a probably called 911 and saved him.
>>678266949
Used to work 911, you ever think you should call something in just do it. Not an inconvenience, not a problem, just do it, average call with all the info needed takes less than 2 minutes, even less for a passerby like that.
>>678251114
Get her back, anon. Unless you fucked her sister or murdered her family or abused her like a twat, I don't think anything is bad enough not to reconcile if you truly loved each other.
Alright /b/ros, lemme vomit my shit here . I was born into an abusive home. My dad was an abusive alcoholic, and couldn't keep a steady job, and my mom only worked minimum wage jobs so we were poor as fuck. My dad would beat the living shit out of me when I was little, and my sister would have to fight him off of me. He'd also get drunk with his friends and they'd beat me in the head with planks, and strangle me. Needless to say I performed poorly in school. I was big for my age, and because of me being poor and bigger than the other kids I was the outcast. Eventually my mom left my dad when I was like 4 or 5, shits kinda hazy. But that started a whole bunch of other shit. Because my sister is 18 months older than me she was bigger and stronger, so she'd ruthlessly beat the fucking shit out of me because she only had me to release her frustration on. My mom became distant, partly because she had to work 2 shitty jobs, and partly because didn't really know how to cope with anything. My mom would leave my sister and I with my grandmother while she worked. My grandmother was the closest thing to family I ever had, but she died when I was 6. My mother went into a depression, and it was around this time I was molested by her boyfriends daughter. When I finally went to first grade my self esteem was nonexistent, and because I went to the elementary school in the rich area I got shit for being the only kid in poverty. My mother also couldn't drive because her license was suspended due to 10k worth of speeding tickets. So we'd have to rely on public transportation. The next few years are a blur, but I was the quiet outcast at school, who was hated and scorned by everyone but the retards. My grades were shit because I never studied so everyone thought I was the fat, stupid, poor kid. It was also around this time I read voraciously, as it was the only time I could escape my life. My mother took me and my sister out of public school after I finished 3rd grade. Continued
>>678265964
Sorry, my comment was out of line, didn't mean to make you feel worse. Has she gotten better since you left? Have you even heard of her?
>>678249891
I am fit, a friend of mine was a fat fuck.
I've been pushing him everyday for the last month or so. He's lost 10kg already.
Reach out to a friend, they can help you.
>>678260791
Air Force, mein nigger
>>678257377
>>678256099
Checked these dubs 4 u
Keep in mind my sister was still beating the shit out of me the whole time. But anyway, so my mom didn't really homeschool us. She stayed in chat rooms all day to escape her life. So from 9-13 I didn't do any studying aside from the books I'd read, which I guess balanced out as they were mostly history and science. I also developed severe depression at 9. From ages 10 to 14 its all a blur. But at 15 my mom made us go to a group of other homeschoolers that would meet up. It was also around this time food was my only comfort, and the only thing that could still make me feel so I was fat as fuck. Anyway as food stopped working I lost weight, and I decided to ask a girl at the group to be my girlfriend. She said yes, and for the first time in my life I was happy. But the happiness only lasted for about two weeks. Becausee I couldn't see her often I was even lonelier than before, and I would have this deep ache in my chest all the time. She strung me along for a year, then broke up with me before our 1 year anniversary. Turned out she never loved me, she just used me for attention and validation, then she dumped me for some other guy she actually liked. She got with him 3 days after she left me. A mutual friend told me. It might not seem significant, but I had been so starved for affection and attention, and she was the first person to give me any, so I fell hard. She was all I had, and for the entire year I suffered being with her I would tell myself that it would all be worth it in the end. And then the lie I told myself was shattered. I had finally lowered the walls I built when I was little, and I was fucking gutted for it. After that I completely gave up, music sounded empty, food lost all taste, everything had a gray tint to it. She destroyed me. After that i got a fast food job, but I was a late bloomer and I quickly learned people don't like effeminate guys. Didn't help I was 6'1 at 16 so they expected me to be more manly I guess. Continued
I see so much pain in this board that there doesn't have to be. All the anger, the hurt people lashing out for a momentary sense of satisfaction. Its all so unnecessary.
God is always there for you, even if you don't know it. Leave your pain, your sorrow, all your burdens at the cross.
So I got a shitload of verbal abuse that almost drove me to suicide. They broke what was left. Anyway, lemme wrap it up. I've only really experienced suffering for my entire life. I'm a bitter, hollow, angry old man at 18. Days seem to go in minutes but I feel like I age 100 years. I'm so tired. If you managed to read all of this, thank you for your time. Sorry I didn't link this shit together, I'm exhausted. Have a good night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOEo6epUQjQ
There's hope for the weary
>>678271918
I'd normally tell you that your religious shit isn't going to actually help anyone, but you're on a feels thread and you're genuinely trying to help all of us fucked up emotionally train-wrecked anons in the best way you know how.
So, regardless of how I feel about your methods, I appreciate them anon.
>>678271918
I shouldn't leave my burdens to someone else to bear
>>678272712
Hell, its the only way I've found that works. I've been where all you anons seem to be; depressed, borderline suicidal, alcoholic and drug addict, spitting in the face of the world. But at the end of the day, I was looking for something I would never find in this world. Perfect love. Love that wouldn't turn on you, or leave you.
I managed to drink myself near to death in under 2 years, to the point that they had to put me on medication so I wouldn't die during withdrawals. A bunch of strangers on the internet saved my life by flagging the police to my suicidal posts, and that led to a stay at the hospital then straight to rehab.
I don't know if you've ever been to rehab, but its not exactly a "happening scene". Lotta free time. So I picked up a Bible for the first time in ages, and set myself to really read it since I'd been given a second chance at life. And in those pages, I found the perfect love I was looking for, that we're all looking for. Even more surprising, I found out that that love had been with me all along. God does not forget His children, He does not forsake them in this world. Turn to Him, earnestly seek Him out, and He shall be waiting for you with open arms. We're all prodigal children, and our Father is longing for the day when we come home.
It took me about 15 years to move out of the darkness and into the light. Each day, I moved a bit closer to Christ, and each day my life got a bit better. I can't count the blessings that have been heaped upon me, but I can sum it up by saying I've reached a point in life I never expected to.
Jesus gave Himself freely. He died upon the cross so that we could be born again spiritually, something that had been lost since Adam and Eve ate from the tree. It is His gift to us, amazing grace, that we are saved and free to join with God in heaven.
Please just consider it
>>678272943
God is strong enough to carry all burdens, and whats more, He wants to do it. Its agape love that drives Him, a love born of sacrifice and selflessness that you'll rarely (if ever) see from another person. Jesus went to the cross to reunite us with the Father, knowing full well that we are utterly dependent on Him in all things.
Have the courage to say, "Not my will, Lord, but yours"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F77v41jbOYs
To all my anons hurting out there
It's 4 AM /b/, I'm turning in. These feels threads have been a wild fucking ride tonight and I've cried like a bitch more than I usually do when I'm so sober.
Stay strong you poor bastards, we're all stuck on this shitty mudball together.
>>678278066
you too, anon
I love you all
>>678280566
I love you too Dubs guy
>not got any grades
>never finished high school
>no job
>no job prospects
>everyone i know has given up on me including myself
>indifferent to most things in life
>live to get drunk
My escape plan for this hell is suicide, if i can muster the courage
>be me, 16 female, awkward as fuck
>goth wannabe
>meet a boy, 13
>start dating.
>I was his first kiss
>After a month I ended it because people were calling me a pedophile
>really fucked him up
>few months later, we become friends again
>realize I don't care what people think anymore
>we start dating again
>never felt that way about anyone before or since
>lose our virginity to each other
>goddamn I loved that boy
>thought he would always be there
>he ends it after 18 months
>really fucked me up
>fast forward 2013
>see he ended his relationship with someone so I message him
>see pic
> what we had meant nothing to him
>question everything
>>678281654
Get a dog
>>678282717
he dumped you, that's not a heartbreak
>>678255908
the first time i really feel happy for an anon
you lost so much, and still.. you're trying your best
where half of us didn't even had half of that shit in their life.. we're still sitting here, saying that we want to kill us ..
i respect you
>>678255908
Shit man. You been through a lot. We always here. Take care of your niece. That is the way you can pay back your sister. Come on /b/ from time to time and update us how things are going. At least you have your niece now.
>>678263180
Stay strong /b/ro. Go for it with honesty. If she still loves you, things will work out.
>>678283104
But I thought it was, to both of us. Learning it meant nothing to him really sucks. Everyone has that one person that they lost and can never forget. He was mine
