ITT: Stupid shit you did or thought as a kid.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: Stupid shit you did or thought as a kid.
>>677891035
Anyone else obsessed with fire as a kid? Would always light shit on fie and ended up burning holes in a bunch of my clothes.
>>677891035
I once thought Feminism was about equality. Then I started reading books and learning to think before I feel.
>>677891117
Worst was when i lit a pen on fire and burning ink and plastic dripped onto me shit hurt like fucking hell.
>>677891035
I thought pee was stored in my balls so when I was in a hurry I would squeeze them thinking it made me piss faster.
I used to lay blankets on my stairs and then try to slide down them. It kinda worked but my ass suffered because of it.
>>677891117
This would play with fire all the time.
i thought babies were made through kissing, and that they had to be cut out of the womb
>>677891548
I did this...
I also used to call my balls a pee sack
>>677891599
Gave myself a concussion when i was 10 doing something similar don't fuck with stairs.
>inb4 religion
>>677891117
I used to light up my knockoff toys from the head, just the head, no idea why. That and I used to be crazy obsessed with tits, I would draw them on walls, paper, the school board when no one was watching etc.
>>677891035
Used toby grow shit at cars then run away when one of them stopped.
Would tape firecrackers to roaches and blow the fuckers up. I'd use the ones on a stick and m-80's. Shit was great. I'd fill a jar with any bugs I could catch and stick a string of m-80's in, light em and watch the show. If I could have caught a squirrel without getting bit the motherfucker woulda gone in the jar too.
>Why did people keep buying me fireworks?
>was maybe ten at the time
>>677891548
Wow you were a fucking dumb kid
>>677892037
Loved melting shit would have mock wars with the green plastic army men and shoot them with a bb gun and burn them they would lose limbs and shit was brutal.
I was convinced that if I didn't nail penis inspection day my uncle was going to make me stop going to school. Like getting lice or something.
I thought my mom would live forever.
>>677892215
thank you for your service
>>677892215
Used to capture bugs and drown them with a tea diffuser basically isis level shit with bugs.
>>677892215
>>677892215
Should've dressed those roaches as terrorists and yelled "Allahu Ackbar".
being gay is ok
I'd get naked and run over to neighbours yard, where they had this decorative ceramic deer.
I'd jump on and let my balls slap on the cool, smooth surface. Felt great, man.
One day while riding stag, the neighbours returned, and their car started up the driveway.
I bolted back over our fence, almost catching my sack on the pointed wooden top.
Never again did I ride.
Kept all my eyelashes in a wooden box to keep the wishes for later. Kept all the hair from my brush in another wooden box and and and all my teeth.
I didn't want little pieces of my DNA floating around the world.
>2004, 6th grade
>ask permission teacher to go to toilet with my friend
>instead go to toilet, we go to toy shop
>browse & buying yu-gi-oh card
>back to class
>teacher ask why took so long
>[answer here]
>teacher didn't ask further, and continue class
Was scared of the toilet and would shit in a box then hide it then when it got to full would bury it in the backyard when no one was home.
Black people had black sperm
>>677891035
As a kid, I literally could not stop drawing dicks
>>677892738
Tell me that you now have your own personal decorative deer, that you can ride back down memory lane. If not, go get you one.
>>677891599
i did this too
I used to use the jets at the public pool to masturbate and think adults or the lifeguards didn't know what I was doing. I would get out of the pool with a full boner for christ sake
>>677892435
This
I thought till 2nd grade that if I looked at people with my eyes and not turn my head toward them they could not tell I was staring at them.
>>677892678
I did know how to do the freaky ululating noise they do, which i'd do while lighting and flinging roach bombs all over the driveway, usually getting big legs and shit all over everybody's cars.
My friend told me about jacking off and did a jerk off motion with his hand to describe how you do it. I thought that meant you were supposed to punch your dick and it would eventually feel good.
>>677893038
Did your parents send you to the priest to exorcise the cock demon out of you?
Thought chocolate milk came from brown cows.
>>677893278
>bug legs, not big legs
Fuck you autocorrect.
>>677891035
Stupid shit as a kid : Make out with my Pink Power ranger plushie I got from a crane game.
Thought I believed : All girls smelled like sugar & sweetness until I walked passed my high school girls gym locker. BITCHES BE MUSTY.
>>677891035
When i was a kid, my dad told me the worst piece of advice I will have ever received, and it has defined my life and i hate every single day i wake up because of it.
>Don't worry. Things will work themselves out.
>>677891035
I used to dress up in a costume like Batman and run around my city looking for crime. When I actually saw crime being committed, I was too chicken to do anything about it.
I once cut a frog in half with a comb when i was ten give or take
Used to roll up leaves in a post it note and smoke it cause i thought it was cool.
>>677891599
i went down on my stomach head first lol
>>677893416
Please tell me you grew outta that and you don't have a body pillow.
>school's end
>there's a terrorist raid, near my school
>police everywhere
>me and my friends decide to go the scene
>watch the crowd
>one of my teacher suddenly surprise us
>holyshit.jpg
>come to us saying "where've you been, your mother (point to me) call me wondering where are you."
>[answer here]
>all of us back to home
Roll printer paper into tubes, light them, and act like they were cigarettes (7th grade)
I thought the world used to b in black and white until color TV was invented.. Born in 88
My dad told me pic related were dead ants without legs
I had a model rocket when I was 11, and it had a little compartment in it where you you could put action figures, and I would stick toads in the compartment and shoot them up, when it came down they died because their neck broke
>>677891117
I ended up grabbing a seemingly empty gasoline container, putting a match into the top, and getting 2nd degree burns all over the left side of my face/neck
>>677893417
your dad was a beta and he molded you into a beta. shit happens bro, but don't worry, things will work themselves out.
always thought that china, japan, korea are one country
>>677893486
Smoking leaves, and coughing like a retard, yep!
I used to think there were a set number of clouds, like around 500 to 1000 and that they just rotated the planet all the time and I thought storms happened when two clouds collided and I thought the weather man predicted everything by monitoring each cloud and predicting paths etc.
>>677893624
I miss my girlfriend, anon. :( it was hard to get rid of her. She kept appearing on my TV!
>>677891035
When I was a kid, I used to think OP wasn't a fag.
>>677891788
Well, some of them do, so at least you were part right.
When i was young, from when i was 6 till like 8-10, i thought everyone in the world except me were robots who were trying to kill me
>>677893930
That is mental
>>677891788
First part was me, hell I think most kids think that since its what is depicted in media
>>677891035
I thought having sex with a girl was like putting a hotdog in a bun in the literal sense. No penetrating just laying your dick between her "buns".
>>677893798
What are those?
If I pulled my foreskin back too far, my dick would fall out.
i'm overweight.
and the only thing i'm good in sport, is floor gymnastic
>>677894110
We are
>>677894138
Chocolate sprinkles
>>677891035
I thought women gave birth and you fucked them in the butthole up until 4th grade.
i thought it was harder to rhyme in other languages because it also had to rhyme in english
>>677894110
the fuck people actually thought this?
>>677894169
>>677894283
And you would pee in them to get them pregnant? thought the same thing.
>>677893930
Thats an impressive assumption to even grasp as a kid!
I now wish clouds worked exactly like this.
>>677891117
I'm still obsessed with fire to an extent. I was always careful with it though. The most reckless I've ever gotten was throwing some old beer cans (full) into a fire pit when I was in middle school
Used to piss in the air vents thinking it was a drain hole
I used to think women urinated out of their buttholes.
>>677894111
Is it?
>>677894444
checkd and kekd
>>677893836
Damn worst i did was blow up a axe can by accident almost blew my hand off.
>>677894376
Same here. There aren't a lot of mentions of ejaculation in pop culture so the only concept kids have is urination.
i used to think being nude was forbidden so id lay nude outside in my yard when my mom wasnt watching and i dont think i understood that there was windows in my house thinking about shit like that makes me want to kill myself but i turned out ok
i thought going to confession cleaned my soul and if i did or said or thought anything bad after that my soul would get progressively dirtier and if it was too dirty when i died St Peter wouldn't let me into heaven.
thank you, Father Bob McFuckingGuire.
for some reason, the sound of the toilet flushing freaked me out so I'd always cover my ears immediately after pulling the lever thing down. I realized at 11-12 that this shit was autistic af, so I broke the habit. a year later we moved to a new home with toilets that flush at a reasonable volume.
>>677891243
>>677891117
What the fuck? Everytime I see this thread these exact comments are the first to show.
>>677894566
Until you wake up from a wet dream. Thought it was bone marrow at first
>>677894586
>but i turned out ok
I don't' think anybody that "turned out ok" browses /b/
>>677894444
This would piss in air vents in school then during the winter when they turned em on oh god the smell nothing is worse then burnt piss smell.
>>677894502
Its a strange thing for a child to think, quite complex really. Maybe I was just a dumb child.
>>677894607
i used to sit rigidly upright in the car on the way home, trying not to think anything at all, in case it was bad. my parents thought there was something wrong with me.
>>677894666
I cleaned my ass throughfully with wet wipes to the point that it could be called anal fingering.
>>677894666
Same anon bro or your going insane also nice Satan trips.
>>677894681
Personally I discovered masturbation before my first wet dream. Never actually had one actually, probably because I was draining my sack while awake.
>>677894666
>666
>same comments posted first over and over
>you realize this isn't real, and we're all watching you
Howdy Truman!
>>677894712
Good point though
>>677894329
I did at least
>>677894444
I also did this for a while, what.
>>677894748
I thought of a lot of shit as kid. I just assumed clouds were like the sun and moon and there were lots of them because they always looked different. Storm clouds always looked big so I thought they must be two clouds or more.
>>677894666
Hail my dark lord!
I thought it was easy to get out of 3k.
Turns out dad was right. It isnt.`
>>677894927
This would jack off and only a clear liquid would come out. wondered why jizz was so white in porn.
>>677891035
As a kid I though fire was cool.
I have since learned that it is actually AWESOME!
>Me 8 playing with sister and cousin at grandparents
>Decide to try and jump mailbox
>Knock it over instead had to pay out of pocket
>four years old
>parents buy new TV
>brother and I keep touching it while mom helping the handymen set it up
>mom gets pissed
>tells us if we touch the tv, our arm would blow off
>never went near that TV for the next two years
>two years after we bought it, it got stolen by crackhead aunt
>literally the happiest day of my life when the bomb TV was taken away
I used to sit on the stairs when I got sent to bed cos I was scared of being alone. I always fell asleep there and woke up in my bed cos someone carried me in the night
>>677894566
That seems to be a really common thought among children.
I never really questioned sex until I was about ten and read a book with a very graphic rape scene. I learned too much too quickly.
>>677893664
Holy shit. Same here, also I thought dinosaurs lives in the same age as my parents.
>>677895000
Good 000
>>677894194
Howd you get by captcha then?
>>677891035
I watched a kid hit the primer n a bullet with a hammer. He ended up with some fucked up fingers and a piece of shrapnel in his leg.
I still laugh about that
>>677895174
I..erm
imagined sonic characters or a skateboarder doing tricks on power lines while in the car
>>677895174
Robots can buy 4chan pass
that if you touched a dead person at a funeral they would to try to grab you and take you away.
I also thought a bat couldn't break glass, so I set a glass vase on a table and swung hard as I could at it. My mum watched me do it but didn't say anything. She was visibly upset and disappointed.
>>677894666
>I got satanic trips last time I called out a loop on /b/
Fuck guys I'm scared
>>677892215
i use to pull the jumping legs off of grasshoppers and feed them to the big red ants.
use to play with hotwheel cars on the driveway and pretend the big red ants were pedestrians that i would run over.
I used to think one day we would all just float into the sky as if gravity suddenly reversed. For a while I was afraid to leave the house.
>>677891035
When I was small, I thought that diarrhea was just me pissing out of my ass.
>>677895557
Well if you didn't have diarrhea, then all that fluid would be absorbed and you would piss it out, so you were kinda right
>>677894444
I used to piss into the garbage
>>677895378
do you experience a lot of dimentinal failure in your life?
I didn't wanna miss cartoons so I created a piss spot behind the couch where i'd pee straight onto the carpet for about a week. Smelled really bad and it took my parents a while to figure out what was going on.
I also liked throwing rocks at the ground and breaking them in half. I'd do it near the patio door. Twice I spider webbed the door from rocks hitting it.
I'm a dumb person
Anyone else compare dick sizes with their friends when young?
if the humidity got too high the air would turn into water
>>677891035
I used to have a fascination with my armpits. I would stick my hands in them as often as I could and wondered if arm pit muscle would be the best cut of meat on a human.
>>677895540
>And then the rapture
>>677895842
I did that years ago in college because my dorm room was right next to the trash room.
>>677891117
I had a yellow Lego box once, here is how it went
>be me at 10 years old
>finally find out how to extinguish fires
>try this at a small scale
>use candles and put a plate on top
>mfw this is a lot of fun
>put a bunch of paper in my Lego box
>set it all on fire and watched it burn
>put the lid on hoping it would die
>fire burns so fast it melts box and breaks seal
>freak the fuck out and get my dad
>dads pissed cause there's a bunch of yellow burnt plastic on the counter
>almost burnt the house down being a tard
>>677895378
what would comfort you?
I once could've been a hostage in a robbery situation because I was such a dumb ass
>>677895950
Did soggy biscuit once but never compared dicks
>>677893155
haha. i did this shit but i stayed in the pool until my boner was gone.
>>677896027
This learned so much in college like people would give you shit if you puked in the toilet but the trash room no one gave a shit and made less of a mess to now i only puke in trash cans.
>dont waste your breath
That expression scared me for awhile.
I thought i had limited breaths.
>>677895956
Christ. Cannibal in the making.
Never bothered to complete missions in toy commander just used to fly around the kitchen shooting the cat for hours every day
I thought baseball was a sport.
>>677891035
I used to think that blacks were normal people and deserved to be treated like any other human being.
>>677891035
I used to believe that if you put something electronic face down, the light couldn't escape and save the battery, I would set my Nintendo face down to save battery at night when I went to get a snack. I still do to my phone out of habit, I don't even realize it
>>677895875
Don't have kids.
>>677895315
Why would you do that?
Just go on the internet and tell lies?
>>677891035
When I was little I used to abuse my Ritalin and pretend I was the star of a TV show but I wasnt supposed to know, so I pretended I didnt know... but I really knew. I am still on Ritalin ahah. Anyone got a cig?
I had an intense fear of vomiting so I carried around a sick bowl everywhere for about five years.
>>677896368
Kek
>>677893475
now that's dedication
>>677896554
Kill yourself
>>677896485
I'm lonely
>>677896637
Huep
>>677896646
You and all of 4chan. You think we'd be here if we had something better to do?
>>677896637
Suicide is a sin anon
>>677895368
>thats my son
>>677896554
Sounds like more of a psychological problem
>>677896784
There must be some rich people who piss away their lives on here
>>677896796
Only is jebus is real, but he's not so kill yourself over the existential dread of the meaninglessness of your life.
When i was 12 years old in 6th grade i always though that the word "mathematicians" i heard was "mathmagicians" Even though many of the greatest mathmaticians are great magicians at solving the problems of numbers and equations.
>>677896433
Don't tell me I'm the only one who did this, I even chose dark games because I thought the darker colors in the game would save the battery for longer time
White milk came from white peoples breasts and chocolate milk came from black people
>>677896935
Rich != not lonely
>>677896935
yup over a million in investments but love /b/ because its one of the few places you can have actual dialogue
>>677891548
That works tho
>>677897025
That doesn't make any sense.
It wouldnt surprise me if your alone anon.
>>677897025
bruh not having to deal with the original game-boy shit was already dark as shit.
>>677897015
I like my life, I doubt there is dr pepper in the nothingness beyond this existence
>>677895528
There was this patch in my yard where there was always grasshoppers. So I'd go catch locusts and rip off their wings, then I'd put them with the grasshoppers to grow their family.
>>677892574
Dude
>>677897265
But grasshoppers are locusts aren't they?
>>677897265
Mutha fukkn science n shit.
>>677892373
Kids are dumb in general, don't act like you didn't believe in something retarded when you were young.
>>677896433
my brother always did this and would confuse the shit out of me but I never asked him why he did it.
Mom would tell me Oatmeal was a good breakfast because "it sticks to your ribs so your not hungry all day"
I thought it lliterally stuck to your ribs and slowly released all day, keeping you from being hungry.
>>677891117
>as a kid
I do that now
>>677897388
locusts are a particular species of grasshopper I believe but don't quote me on that
>>677897553
Dude oats and squats you will get huge.
>>677897227
Yeah....I am....
>furry
>Used to think bullshit about electronics
>I actually have a katana...not really a katana but some weird antique handmade Korean fighting sword
>When I was a kid, I thought fedoras were a normal hat.
>Favorite band in middle school was slayer
>I'm not actually bad looking, so being single really prompts the suicide
>>677893906
I used to think Chinese and Spanish were practically the same language.
I used to trip over mentally handicapped kids at school simply because they were different. I kinda feel bad now.
>>677894805
i still get in there with wet wipes
>>677893336
Thought it came from niggers
>>677897619
I checked wikipedia, apparently locusts are a particular phase in some grasshopper species life cycles
>>677897906
I thought niggers came from chocolate milk
>>677897388
I guess they're related. All I know is locusts can fly and bite, where grasshoppers can't.
I used to think that for people who spoke other languages , it just looked like English to them as it did to us.
>>677895875
dude i used to have a designated pee spot behind our couch too
sometimes i'd do it naked
now that i think about it, i've been obsessed with horniness for my whole life
Thought testicles = tendons...and said testicles instead on tendons....
>>677897817
Dude fuck that get out there Hide the furry shit Hide the Katana. Dont wear the fedora. Fuck yeah slayer is awesome. Go out to a bar and meet people.
>>677891035
I used to think that something could float if the outside part that touched the water was a certain material. My explanation for aircraft carriers was that the bottom was coated in rubber
>>677897987
Wow, so I was dewinging adult grasshoppers, and sticking them with their young. I was like the king, banishing them back to childhood
>I thought teachers slept at the school under their own desks
>if roar like a tiger I would become stronger
>and I had a fear of getting killed in my sleep until I realized that it would be better than being awake for it
I thought coffee was nigger jizz
>>677898278
>>677897987
Better question is once you ripped their wings off did they re grow the wings and become locusts again?
>>677896554
I have an intense fear of vomiting and I should probably do that all the time from now on.
I used to think life wasn't fucking constant torture.
Does anyone else remember just one long day and no night? Like life was just never dark.
>>677898442
Good question. Sometimes there'd be a little wing left, other times I'd get the whole wing and a little flesh.
>>677891035
Before i knew how to actually jerk owf, I used to grab the skin and just kinda move it up and down. Shit felt sore all the time until i figured it out and it hit me like a ton of bricks, almost fell to the ground afterwards
>>677897553
My grandmother told me that too...
Strange.
>>677896089
Story?
Imagine if we had all gone to the same elementary school.
Kinda a horrifying thought
>>677898448
why you scared of puking? yah it sucks but just get it over with. You gotta puke, puke? It really isn't that bad
>>677893038
Me too,i would also whip mine out any chance i got too demonstrate my pride of it.bask in the glory of my genitals
Until I was about 12, I thought the vagina was on the front and was also worried that if I had sex with a girl, my dick might get stuck and we would have to go to school like that. Two conjoined twins connected at the front of the pelvis.
>>677898278
What king do you know that banishes people back to their childhood?
>>677897864
it is instinct to kull the weak. you were doing right by your species as a child, now as a man you can do nothing right by that underlying urge because the purity of your youth is gone.
>>677894138
dead ants without legs cant you read?
>>677898208
Yeah, I need to go do some shit, been focused on music and school my whole life and haven't done shit for fun...God damn thank you anon, fuck yeah slayer is the shit, but it from the outside is a bit cringe for some reason
>>677891035
>be me
>puberty
>traveling
>get urge at hotel pool to fap
>uncontrolled urge
>went to hort tub pary of pool
>the jet made a ton of bubbles while being hot at the same time
>untie pants and let the Jets do their work
>almost done when the aromatic timer turns of and it stops
Shitshitshit
>tie pants up and go into next section of pool
>the cold water makes it unnoticeable
>walk away like nothing happened, leave
I dont know why I did it, my family was in the other pool next to the hot tub and I didn't give one fuck that they were a small distance away. Part of me thinks they saw me slide over to th next pool. The world may never know.
>>677891035
>Thought about atlantis and UFOs.
>Thought that rock music was for edgelords
>Thought that friendships were forever
>Santa Claus
I was examining my belly button one day and found this stick-like thing in there. My grandmother came in and told me if I pulled it out I would die or bleed out or something. I've always been extra careful when fucking with it since then. She was probably joking, but fuck that freaked me out.
>>677898878
i remember getting a lot of stomach bugs as a kid, and they always struck at night or after watching a movie. sometimes I'd predict I would get sick because something mentioned vomiting (tv shows, videogames) so I'd always be preoccupied with looking for the signs.
It mostly was the whole waking up in the middle of the night and puking all over the place that got me; shit's traumatic. I think I've puked during the day maybe 3 times in my life.
>>677899000
Nah dude he was god for this lowly group of insects. He single handily kept the locusts alive in the first place.
Today, I just wish someone would have told me where the clitoris was...
>>677896146
>soggy biscuit
W-wut.
When I was 9 I thought that Eastern philosophy ended up walking the same paths as Western philosophy, that you find the same solutions, the "self-destruction" and the way to enlightenment is to unlearn. I was quite the moron back then
>>677899349
Nah dude fucking own the slayer everyone knows its awesome just play it sparingly every once and awhile. Dont be a stranger go to slayer concerts or similar metal venues you will meet people.
Also thought that these weird alien things were watching me and studying me, this happened from 4 to like 12
>>677899796
I've always wanted to go to a burzum concert but was genuinely sad as a kid knowing I could never go to one....I have a eagle slayer shirt
>>677898369
Underrated post
I kek'd hard
I wouls purposefully explode pens all over my hands to get out of class in grade school
>>677892215
>string of m-80s
Sure you did.
How fuckin big are these roaches you speak of??
>>677898844
Who's to say we didn't?
You shouldn't be on 4chan, Sam
>>677899410
Shit yeah that suck but dude i Puked a fucking full day straight and shit myself in front of my mom as a kid. Shit sucks but we all have moments like that. Puking as a biological process is meant to make you feel better. Get it out now then be good to go then feeling like shit for the next 3 hours.
>>677900031
And now it's an over rated post...I did not kek hard at this shit bait
Tried to make a deal with god that if I could hold in shit indefinitely (without leaving any trace of poop in my undies), I would be extra good forever.
Was pretty lazy as a 6 year old.
>>677900059
about the size of your dick. So only just bigger than a firecracker.
>>677900028
Dude just fucking go who's stopping you its just like 50 bucks go and get trashed and have fun and talk to people .
>>677894927
THIS.
>>677891035
I though my country was one of the best in the world. That's the system and people in it had integrity. 'Just world' things.
>>677893279
how long did you punch yourself in the dick for
>>677900287
Shit, you really talk a good set, I think I'm gonna do this anon, you really, genuinely made me think today. I'm gonna do this shit 100%. Don't be a beta and enjoy shit like a normal person
>>677894169
SAME. I remember the first time i pulled it all the way back and saw the ratchetness that is years old smegma
>>677897862
>both gibberish
You are not wrong, anon.
Up until I was 16 I would smell my moms feet and chew on my toenails. Now since I'm out of the house I only chew my toenails
>>677891788
I thought babies came from blow jobs. The sperm goes down into the stomach and makes a baby
>>677896935
>>677900777
I also thought chocolate milk came from Brown cows
When I was 4-5 I used to apply roll-on deodorant on my ballsack and observe it in the mirror. I still think that it's the reason my dick is small.
I believed that God existed.
>>677893417
damn, son
>>677900777
>>677900718
>>677899656
>>677899376
>>677899361
>>677898938
>>677898369
>>677897906
At least then they would be good for something.
>>677900569
Dude fuck yeah being fucked up is fun you literally throw yourself at a lot of people and see what sticks and play from there its all one big game man. then something sticks and you start to dig yourself out of a hole.
>>677900031
you're retarded. actually.
When i was young, when i didnt know the difference between girls and boys. I tried to think up a reason why there were seperate bathrooms. Here is what i came up with and readily embraced.
If male and female pee mix, there will be a chemical reaction and an explosion.
I fully believed this too.
>>677900718
Same for the toe nails part
>>677901185
Hell yeah dude, I screen shot this shot so I can remember it man thanks
>>677895849
what is this image i like looking at it but i really dont at the same time help
>>677901322
wow that is great! ha, you had to be a fun kid.
>>677901445
No prob man life sucks but when you have fun it sucks a little less.
>>677900123
That's what my parents would tell me, but I just hated it so much, to the point where I was scared of going to sleep.
Shitting yourself is another thing though, I wish I had shat myself instead of puking, I can deal with that. Puking just fucking sucks dick.
>>677892574
Top kek
I used to apply deodorant all over my chest as a kid like 4-8years old and I to this day belive that's why my chest and stomach are so goddamn hairy
>>677901614
have another
>>677893652
yup.
i used to crumble up incense and light it. once i took a picture of this activity and sent it to my friend. he was all 'dont get addicted dude'
i would make weapons and my friends and i would fight each other with them. we shot arrows at each other and shit.
>>677892574
bro
>>677901837
and another.
>>677901768
Dude how is shitting yourself worse then puking? Both suck but you just gotta deal with it it. People dont fucking care.
>>677895339
I imagined Spiderman swinging alongside the car (only worked if there were buildings), or I'd imagine myself doing parkour, or I'd imagine a small plane (like a WW2 fighter plane) flying alongside us if we were driving through a flat countryside.
>>677902062
Fuck yeah. Hero of the earth coming through.
I called DJs discos
>>677901982
the word your looking for is disquieting
Same chest deodorant person as before. I used to masturbate in as many places as possible xe. Grandparents house In every room, my whole house, my cousins houses. Idk why I did it I just did I also would hump my grandma and moms Legs while they would sleep was caught a few times but no one mentions it to this day
>>677901753
True man, I need to have a good time instead of stress out at home, that's the best advice I've ever seen on 4chan
>>677902062
Holy shit I thought I was a hyperfaggotdoublenigger in doing this but it looks like I wasn't alone
>>677892574
oh fuck lmao
>>677901984
It doesn't feel as bad as puking; all of that retching and the muscle contractions
shitting is easier
I used to pluck hairs off of my body and eat the follicles. When I first grew pubes I went hard eating those follicles. Even in school I couldn't stop eating my pube follicles..it's cooled down a lot since then, I'm 23 now, but every once in a while, every 3 days or so I get this strong urge to eat my pube follicles
>be me
>4 or 5 years old
>hearing a lot about "bush" getting elected
>have no fucking idea what a president even is
>only kind of bush i knew of was a literal bush/plant
>i thought that the way presidents were elected was as follows:
>giant stadium
>full of people all cheering
>guy dressed literally as a bush
>comes running out into stadium green
>crowd goes wild
>camera flashes everywhere
>other candidates do the same
>candidate with the most cheering becomes president
Only happened the first time but the first time i got a boner it was morning wood. I woke my mom from screaming and crying "it wont go down" and was punching my dick. They still laugh about it today
>>677895875
When I got out the bath I used to sit in front of the fireplace in the living room wearing a towel and the heat from the fire would make me need to piss. So, I'd just pee sitting on the floor, cross-legged, and when I got up it would look like I'd just left a wet patch on the floor from dripping bathwater. This happened from like age 4-6.
>>677891035
Things I did/believed:
>Mortal Kombat is Chinese history
>Pokemon is real, as evidenced by the immense amount of animals in the world
>Black women are the best
>Being an adult will be GREAT, because I can eat whatever I want and stay up all night, every night
>I will be able to have a diet consisting entirely of cake and ice cream when I become an adult
>Hung on every word my mom and other relatives said
>Was a Christian
>Radical Ki is possible
>as is Forcecraft Magick
>"If you treat women with respect, they'll love you!"
>Thought I should 'fit in' with other people, and if I couldn't, it meant there was something fundamentally wrong with me
>wanted Tripp Pants
>etc etc
>>677902387
Dude how are you puking just go and be quick about it you dont need to retch yourself for 30 minutes. Be done with it in 5.
>>677902415
Wtf lmao
