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Anonymous
2016-04-03 14:49:10 Post No. 677439789
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Anonymous
2016-04-03 14:49:10
Post No. 677439789
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I fucking hate my life /b/ I can't really explain why but each day gets more painful than the last. My family never tries to talk to me. Friends do the same. I have shit grades and a career that will most likely leave me mentally fucked if I survive. I sedate these feelings every day by sitting in front of a screen talking to other people as fucked as me. There are so many times and ways that I could end it all. I just got surgery done a few weeks ago and have enough pain meds to OD and go peacefully, I could shoot myself, slit my own throat, drown myself, etc. But I don't, and I won't and I know why. It's because as awful as life is, the thought of death and nothing scares me beyond all measure.
So my life at this point is trying to see how long I can go. How long can I hold death at bay. How much shit can I handle before I kick the bucket?
I want to be fixed though. I want someone to come along one day, and look me in the eyes with genuine feelings of compassion and tell me that I'm not lost. That I can be something to someone.
A part of me knows that day will never come. Because no one gives a fuck nowadays. It's become the hip norm to not give a shit about your fellow human being because being a social outcast is considered 'cool' and 'hip' now.
But it eats me alive every day knowing that no one will ever give me just a moment of thought out of their day. It's the worst knowing that your own mother goes days without even having a split second of thought about you.
No one cares about me but me, but I don't care enough to really care.
Does /b/ care?
