Alright faggots.
**ASK A PLUMBER ANYTHING**
If you ask the right question you may get some very interesting greentexts.
If you ask a new question you will get new greentexts.
Also general plumbing advice.
If you appreciated the advice you were given, reward me with tits.
I like tits.
>>677428336
How many wives have you fucked ?
>>677428466
Sadly none. Came close. Once.
>Working for some mob with a gps tracker on the car. Last job of the day.
>Rock up at house, lonely looking milf.
>Body 8/10
>Face 4/10 but whaver, have not had sex in 2 weeks.
>Get to door.
>Hello miss, my name is anon, you called a plumber?
>Yes anon, please come in and look at my sink.
>Check sink, easy fix
>No worries love, this'll take 10 minutes.
>While fixing sink issue, lonely milf begins chatting.
>So what's your story anon, where you from etc. Usual crap.
>Move forward a bit.
>Have you got a girlfriend anon?
>Ohshiti'minforthewin.jpg
>Nah, haven't got a girlfriend at the moment
>Why not anon? You're an attractive man, you're obviously very professional and strong.
>"Well I was seeing a girl but she left me two weeks ago"
>Sympathy card is go. I actually left the girl, not the other way around. ;)
>Oh that's TERRIBLE anon! Are you doing ok? Surely you've got other girls on the go!
>Nah, chicks my age are a little bit stuck up, they tend to not find me attractive.
>Grabs me by the arm, brings face really close to mine, wide eyed
>REALLY??? REALLY ANON! I FIND THAT *VERY* HARD TO BELIEVE.
Dick is now rock hard.
Cont.
>>677428598
>Anon, do you want to stay for dinner?
>Yep, I'm in for the win
>"Ah, look, I'd love to, but I've got a GPS tracker on the car, and if I stay here too long there's trouble"
>Ok anon, how about this, you drive your car a couple of blocks up the road and park it somewhere, I'll follow you in my car and drive you back here.
>FUCKYESI'MGETTINGLAIDTONIGHT.webm
>Drop off car, drive back, chick flits around for a bit and microwaves about the shittiest leftovers I've ever tasted.
>Cannot give fuck. Rock hard dick, barrel down food.
>Milf pours herself a glass of wine, would you like a cigarette anon?
>Giving flirty eyes.
>Phone rings.
>It's her on again off again boyfriend
>"No no, it's just the plumber, no I'm not seeing anybody"
>Jealous boyfriend? All I need is porn music and the scene is complete.
>Finishes phone call.
>Sorry anon, that was my boyfriend, we have.... a lot of troubles over time.
>"Oh you have a boyfriend?"
>NONONONONO!!! *EX* boyfriend...
>sex is still on the cards.
>Pours herself another wine.
>So anon... How about that cigarette?
Cont.
>>677428627
>Sounds good
>Step outside on the balcony.
>She hands me one of her cigarettes
>Standing side by side, her sexy little milf body brushing blatantly against mine.
>So anon... I get very lonely...
>Stay quiet, have cigarette, alpha as fuck.
>I don't get many male visitors over here...
>Dick hardening, pants bursting.
>You're not saying much anon.
>Wink at her. "Just enjoying the cigarette".
>Well anon, you're sucking something of mine, maybe I should suck something of yours....
>FUCKYEAH.winrar
>"Sounds like a solid plan"
>Milf throws cigarette butt in backyard and walks inside.
>Do same, I follow.
>She pulls out chair and motions for me to sit.
>I sit down getting ready for blowjob. Hard as fuck.
>She sits down on table opposite me and pours another glass of wine.
>Uh... ok... whatever.
>Then proceeds to sit there.
>"....you alright love?"
>Milfanon sighs deeply.
>Listen anon... I'm sorry if I lead you astray....
>WTF?
>"...what?"
>Well you see, when I told you I wanted some company....
>"...yes?"
>I actually wanted company....
>"...what????"
>......anon....I'm an alcoholic...
>My dick drops to half mast.
>I look around for secret camera for joke tv.
>She then starts to regale me on her life story on how she became an alcoholic, and how she really needs company.
>I say that's fair, say I really need to get to back to my car as I have an early start.
>She says no worries anon! Give me your phone number!
>Sure thing alcomilf! Gave fake number.
>Takes me to door
>Any chance you can give me a lift back to my car?
>Oh no I can't anon, I've been drinking all day! Goodnight!
>Closes door.
>Wander 5 blocks back to car, with half a hardon.
>Beta as fuck.
And that's the story of how I got cockblocked from milfbooty.
whats the most disgusting thing you ever found in those pipes?
Have you ever walked in on this?
>>677428932
Plum/b/anon delivers.
> Be me
> Be called into caravan sale place of all joints.
> Caravan sales place is owned by friend of my father.
> Caravan sales place guy is also a plumber, can't fix own problems? WTF?
> Get to front reception
> "Hi, I am Plum/b/anon, I am here to fix problem."
> "Ok plumbanon, go ahead..."
> ....you autistic bitch...
> "What is the problem?"
> Consult with about 5 different ladies in office
> Not one of them has a clue.
> Call the owner
> "Oh right, the toilet won't flush"
> "...Yeah, it's kinda been like that for about a month now..."
> MFW they couldn't figure out what problem a plumber could be coming to attend after a month of not being able to flush the toilet properly.
Cont.
>>677429094
> Check toilet.
> Clogged as fuck.
> Open inspection point at back.
> Overflows with murky sewer water.
> Herewefuckinggo.avi
> Pull out sewer machine.
> Set up sewer machine.
> Send sewer machine down line.
> End of the hook comes back fucking COVERED in tampons.
> Look around.
> Entire area covered in gravel.
> Nowhere to discreetly hide or bury tampons.
> Fuck it.
> Grab bucket, remove tampons, send hook down again.
> Blockage not moving.
> Retrieve more tampons.
> Some of them are still fresh and bloody.
Cont.
>>677429120
> Retrive more fucking tampons.
> About an hour passes, pulling out nothing but fucking tampons.
> Finally clear line.
> Flush with hose.
> Pack up gear.
> Walk into office.
> Ladies ask "What was problem?"
> "Sanitary napkins"
> Blankfuckingstares.winmov
> "Tampons..."
> It's like the choir all learned to sing at once.
> "Oh well it's not me!"
> "Oh it certainly isn't me!"
> "No, I'm too old!"
> Office space consisting of entirely 6 women.
> Poker face engaged.
> Good employee mode soon follows.
> "Oh yes of course!" *cringing internally*
> "Yeah, look it's obviously some customers who have come past and needed to use the toilet at some stage and have probably just you know, not had the right bin there etc..."
> Alpha of the dumb pipes up
> "BUT THE CUSTOMERS NEVER USE OUR TOILET!!!"
> All eyes on dumbus cunticus.
> Air freezes
> Literally 30 seconds of silence passes.
> "Oh, I mean... Yes! Yes that must be it!"
> Office motion goes back to normal, yet with red scowling faces.
Final tally of tampons.
Three quarters of a fucking bucket's worth...
But "It wasn't me..."
Bitches be liars.
>>677428945
Nah, but I can tell something that's *almost* similar...
>Be dickhead plumbing workmate, who shall be known in this story as dickhead.
>Guy seems like a compulsive liar, but whatever, the story seemed interesting.
>Rocks up at woman's house.
>Good looking woman in about 40's
>10/10 body, 8/10 face
>Hello, you must be the plumber.
>"Hi my name's dickhead"
>"Hello dickhead, come right in."
>Well dickhead, the problem appears to be a leak under my sink every time I use the dishwasher
> i have friends over and need the dishwasher up and running because I'm currently hosting.
>No worries lady, I'll have it sorted out in no time.
>So dickhead clears out cupboard
>Crawls halfway in cupboard space, and milf stands over top of him, apparently he can see right up her nightgown, and she has a clean shaven smoo.
>Can I get you anything dickhead?
>Nah, I'm good thanks.
>Lifts leg on to bench
>Anything at all?
>Dickhead reckons he's cursing by this stage
>Sorry love, I'm married.
>No worries dickhead.
>So back she steps and he continues working.
>Yep, appears to be a leak here, just need to grab some tools from the car.
Cont.
>>677429245
>Dickhead gets up to head for door to get tools
>Goes for wrong door
>NODON'TGOINTHERE...
>*Boom* - He opens door.
>Room full of women using sex toys with condoms on them.
>Room stops.
>Goes quiet.
>Awkward stares.
>Then one of the women goes "Oh fuck it" and continues pounding her clam with sex toy.
>All women follow suit.
>Dickhead is aghast, does not know what to do.
>Milf pulls him back and closes the door.
>Explains that she has "Fuckerware" parties, and sells toys.
>Explains that people want to test toys before buying, so she has "Tester" range that can only be used with condoms.
>Explains this is why dishwasher needs to be fixed asap so that all toys can be cleaned asap before switching to diff user.
>Dickhead finishes job.
>Dickhead accepts cash payment.
>Dickhead does not get dick wet with a room full of horny women, plus one obviously horny milf.
Dickhead was a fucking dickhead.
If his story is even true.
>>677428336
Anyone ever stuck a coin in your crack?
What's the weirdest fucking thing you've seen on the job
>>677429656
Nah, had mates do it though.
Get bad plumbers crack. Unavoidable.
Fat cunts get plumber's crack.
>>677429682
Hahaha, you haven't seen this before.
Yes, it's copypasta, but it's MY copypasta.
Plum/b/anon delivers.
>Working for small business.
>Boss phones up one day "Got a job for you anon"
>"No worries, what's the address?"
>Boss gives address
>Now just letting you know anon, this guy may be a little... strange..
>"....ok"
>Rock up to house.
>Walking up driveway.
>Little pieces of paper all up driveway.
>Huh.... they look like toilet paper.
>Keep walking.
>Further up driveway. More pieces of paper.
>Brown stains.
>That *IS* toilet paper.
>MFW it's not wet, and it's not from a sewer overflow.
>Wtf.hat?
>Alright, let's see what i'm up against.
>Alpha chin on.
>Walk up to door, knock.
>Door opens, man is standing behind wire door.
>6'2 hulking fat hairy greek man.
>Completely butt fucking naked.
>Gigantic flaccid cock in full view.
>What the flying fuck.
>"WHAD YU WAN?"
>Uh... I'm the fuckin' plumber.
>Giant naked hairy greek bastard grunts.
>Hang on a sec.
>Walks into next room.
>No worries, must be going to chuck some clothes on.
>Walks back out, opens door again.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Alright come in..."
>Herewefuckinggo.avi
Cont.
>>677431265
>Fat greek bastard starts walking inside house.
>You know what, I'm behind him, he can't fucking trap me here.
>I'm gonna go have a fucking look.
>Step inside house.
>Place is a fucking pigsty.
>Newspapers stacked almost as high as my head.
>Canned food stacked up everywhere.
>Weirdest part of all.
>100's of tubs of vaseline.
>Like fucking HUNDREDS.
>All stacked up next to the newspapers and canned foods.
>Half of them have the lids off and are fucking empty.
>What the flying fuck???
>Wade past all this rubbish to his bathroom. He walks inside it.
>Bathroom is small bathroom.
>One bath.
>One sink.
>All of it, ENTIRELY
>let me be clear about this anons
>ENTIRELY SPLATTERED....
>WITH SHIT COVERED TOILET PAPER.
>It's like nothing I've ever seen.
>We're not talking like a few dalmation spots here and there.
>We're talking like massive lumps and chunks and everything.
>EVERY FUCKING WHERE.
Cont.
>>677431378
>So fat greek bastard waddles into his shitty toilet paper covered bathroom.
>Ohgodthesmell.choke
>He walks up to the cupboard.
>Opens the cupboard door
>Turns on the tap.
>And points at the cupboard.
>"See?"
>....no....
>"See?? See?"
>No mate I don't see, what's the fucking problem?
>"Is leaking! See?"
>Mate, you're going to have to get out of the fucking way.
>He walks out, and into the kitchen.
>Stupidly I walk into that festering bathroom.
>Sure enough water is pissing out into the basin cupboard while the tap is running.
>"See? See?" He asks?
>Right now, I realise, he's right behind me.
>I'm trapped in a shitstained bathroom, with a naked fat greek man and several half used tubs of vaseline.
>"That's it I'm getting the fuck out of here".
>"But you not fix problem"
>He's not moving.
cont
>>677431411
>Fat naked greek man still not moving.
>Aussie masterrace, mind like a steel trap.
>"Of course I haven't fixed the fucking problem, I've gotta go get my fucking tools out of the car mate."
>Stares at me angrily.
>Shit's about to get real.
>"Mate, I need you to get out of my way, so I can get my tools, and get it fixed."
>Fat naked greek continues to stare.
>Prepare to punch his stupid hairy fucking face in and be wrestled to the shit covered ground.
>Hairy behemoth Grunts.
>Gets out of way.
>I start walking out of the house.
>He follows.
>I walk to my car.
>He follows.
>I get in my car and lock the fucking doors.
>He is standing at the window just staring at me.
>In middle of street.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Where you going? You fix! You fix!"
>"Hang on mate"
>"No! You fix, you fix!"
>"HANG ON MATE".
>Phone boss
>"Who the fuck sent this job, is this a fucking joke?"
>"What do you mean?"
>"Dude, this guy is fucked UP, who phoned this IN???"
>"Hang on, I'll give you the number of the guy's social worker.
>......
>Fucking SOCIAL WORKER?????
>Tell boss "I'll call you back...." through gritted teeth.
Cont
>>677431468
>Phone social worker.
>"Dude, I can't fix this fucking job! What the fuck is with this guy?"
>"Yes sorry anon, unfortunately there's not enough mental health facilities available, so they have to put this guy in a commission house for now"
>"Mate! He's more fucking worried about a water leak under a fucking sink, than the BIG STEAMING PILES OF SHITTY WALLPAPER ALL OVER HIS WALLS!!!"
>Yeah, I know, the place is disgusting, I'm sorry about that...
>..... Mindsnap
>"YOU FUCKING ***KNEW*** THE HOUSE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE YOU FUCKING ***SENT*** ME THERE???
>"Yeah... look... sorry... seemed like an emergency... thought we might have to get it fixed..."
>...double mind snap..
>"SO EVEN FUCKING YOU!!! WHO I ASSUME IS ***NOT*** A GIGANTIC CRAZED FREAK, SEEMS TO THINK A FUCKING LEAK.... IN A FUCKING CUPBOARD... IS MORE FUCKING IMPORTANT.... THAN CLEANING SHIT OFF ***FUCKING...... WALLS***????????
>"........................uh.......yeah... look... again sorry for that.."
>breathed in as deep as I could
>yelled as loud as i could
>FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
>Hung up.
>Fat naked greek guy taps on window again.
>"You fix?"
>FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK OFFFFF!!!!!!
>Started engine.
>Hightailed it the fuck out of there leaving fat naked greek man standing fat and naked in middle of road.
>Drove to nearest KFC.
>Vomited my fucking guts up.
>Phoned boss, explained story.
>Boss laughed his guts up.
>Abused the cunt out of him.
>Took the rest of the day off and drank myself silly.
Didn't fucking rock up to work the next day either. The boss did not complain.
Naturally my return to work was met by a lot of cheesy bastard grins by all the boys, and the usual rounds of ribbings.
Bastards.
Wasn't this posted a few weeks ago? Literally all the same stories. Fuck off op, you are truly the fag of faggots.
boring.
>>677431572
They're all my stories.
Read the original post.
"Ask a new question, get a new greentext."
If you don't like the fucking context, give me new questions faggot.
>>677428699
holy fuck anon. There's no way she meant anything else by "I should suck on something of yours". I think you gave up too easy.
>>677429173
Why do they disown tampons? We all know they use it
>>677428336
Was there something you couldn't fix? Also how much do you make yearly?
whats the weather? outside the place u r
>>677428336
I'll be moving in to my own house later this year, and I'm just wondering about the basics I'd need to know to fix common problems myself - I haven't done jack shit before, but am doing engineering in college, if that helps.
>>677428336
Ok OP, have you encountered any of these groups during your zany adventures?
Trannies
Feminists
Faggots
Niggers(I expect this one, so any racist stories?)
Also how do you feel about Mario?
bump
Where are you OP?
>>677428336
Ever found anything valuable in a sewer line? Cash, drugs, jewelry...
>>677428598
yeah i'm struggling to believe this too.
I'm enjoying these stories. OP is an OK guy.
Which ethnicity has the grubbiest toilets/foulest smells?
>>677428336
My shower knob is a tad off wall just enough for water to leak behind into wall. Also some water tends to splash off on side of tub closest to knob and sits i think its degrading our wall. What do?
>>677432822
idk OP is MIA
>>677433960
Fuck op
>>677434071
Yeah...while I'm waiting for him to respond...
I'm a CS senior, will be graduating in a few months. AMA
>>677429173
Kek
My mom owned a flower shop with between 2-5 other women, depending on the season.
I always got called in to help out with small stuff, like cleaning the bathrooms and other stuff.
The women's bathroom had a huge sign right over the toilet paper saying DO NOT FLUSH TAMPONS!!!
Guess they had to unclog it a few times...
