/b/'s friendly neighborhood surgeon here. It's been
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
/b/'s friendly neighborhood surgeon here.
It's been a while. Ask me your medical and medical-related questions.
>Pic related. Dis jus what I do
>>677350014
My penis shrank. When I was excited, it went above my belly button. Now, it just reaches the bottom. What could have caused this?
>>677350014
Is that a fucking fork stuck in the face?
>>677350014
Story?
How do I get a bigger penis?
>>677350299
Checked
Whats the "life span" of a gastruc by-pass?
I heard it only last 20 years
>>677350014
>Dis jus what I do
You eat faces?
>>677350299
See >>677350231
Apparently be more excited.
>>677350251
It's a retractor. Holds tissue aside.
>>677350261
Not my patient, but it's a cheek flap for cancer of the jaw bone. You can see the lip is split in the middle and the cut extends down into the neck. The skin is this flipped up over the face, giving you exposure to the outside surface of the mandible (the retractor is holding the cheek flap). The jaw bone has been partially removed.
i keep cutting a wart out of my pinkey but it comes back every time. Even when i pull all of it out and it bleeds for a good 20 mins because i managed to get to the bottom layer of skin. how to remove without it growing back.
>>677350014
I know it isn't a medical textbook but I'm taking a course to get certified as a personal trainer and my book stated that men have a 44% chance of developing cancer at some point in their lifetime. Is this accurate? That's fucking terrifying.
>>677350014
i used to fuck a surgeon.
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.
once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?
this was the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSPe8dIJEtw
>>677350607
>>677350014
Why would someone remove the mandible like that? Bone cancer?
>>677350454
I'm not sure. Never did any bariatrics.
>>677350597
Head and neck surgery
>>677350663
Cut the entire skin out down to the fat, or freeze it. Tough to treat.
>>677350830
Probably true. I think there's like a 50% chance of getting prostate cancer if you make it to 80.
>>677350831
Well I'm a dude, so no.
>>677351210
Does that Dr scholls salicylic acid shit work at all? I also have a wart on my finger that always comes back after I hit it with that shit and pull it out and it bleeds for days like the other dude said
I tried the at home freeze away shit but it didn't work
>>677351595
>forgot op is a surgeon and I am asking questions about warts to a surgeon
>>677350830
Med student here. According to my teachers, every year a man lives over 75 massively increases the %chance of developing prostate cancer, so yeah.
>>677351595
I have no idea re dr. Scholls product. Go to your primary care doc, they love taking care of warts.
Also stop fingerbanging HPV riddled whores.
>>677351677
I actually getting decent number of referrals for mucosal papillomas (often on soft palate or tonsillar fossae).
i've given up on sex and plan on staying celibate for life. went down on a few girls though. what are my odds for HPV cancer of the throat/mouth/neck?
>>677350607
why didnt he just die? his life will be unbearable.
>>677351939
Its weird. I am sitting here eating and this doesn't bother me, but if I could see his whole face at once with his face cut open like that, it would fuck with me.
every time i perform hard physical activity (usually running/sprinting) my hear sometimes does an extra beat (I can hear the beat really loudly and i am short of breath for like 1 second). Im physically fit, work out everyday and I am young.
>>677352388
heart*
>>677350014
surgeons dont work on corpses dumbarse
question, do you have a life outside of work?
wat do
>>677350014
neuroscience undergrad student here
is going into neurosurgery a good idea? what kinda stuff do i need to learn?
are you happy with your career choice? do you have any free time? How stressful is it? Do you regret becoming a surgeon?
One of my balls is inside my body what do? i can still feel it up there.
Help this guy
>>677347695
has an patient ever died on your table? what did you feel when it happened?
>>677353124
kek'd
what is the trick to being a good surgeon? do you just rote learn what to do for each given surgery or is there a degree of improvisation involved? what skills do you need to be a surgeon?
>>677350607
So the person in the OP is alive?
>>677352668
"Honey, why is there a pig in the bidet?"
>>677350014
do you ever get used to this macabre shit?
>>677350014
How do you feel about the ACA as well as Bernie sanders trying to implement free healthcare?
What the fuck is this next to my balls OP? It's on both sides
>>677354256
do you even change your underwear mate ?
>>677354256
not op but looks like chafing, stop being fat and it'll go away
>>677350014
hey i have some minor chest pains and yesterday i coughed a tiny amount of blood should i be worried
>>677352387
That ain't weird, m8.
>>677350014
OP where you at
>>677351210
With the wart soluble Zinc sulphate tablets work wonders.
How do I remove a plantars wart quickly without going to a doctor?
>>677354631
Go to the hospital, idiot. Chest pain + coughing blood you might be having heart failure due to a myocardial infarction.
>>677353223
Not OP, but I saw a c-section with twins. One was dead. It was eerie. Mother's cries were just so sad. OR nurse here.
>>677355717
but its not like blood coughing all the time it happened yesterday and was only like a tiny little bit of blood like i could taste it and the chest pain is minor too
Best tip for removal of ankylosed teeth, in regards of preserving buccal bone?
>>677356053
May seem non life threatening now, but go in and get checked. Don't just go in when you have a complete coronary artery blocked. It might be something with your heart, lungs, or esophagus. But best to be steps ahead, rather than going in when it's already happening.
>>677350831
Haha this is my favorite meme. thanks to the kind sir on reddit who recommended this sub to me. u guys always make the best memes!
>>677356852
shit okay well i think i should start working out ive gained too much weight this past year, i think the weight has to play a role.. gained 30kg this past year and i hate it i have to do something about it thanks doc
>>677350014
im starting medical school in the fall. what advice do you have for me?
>>677355974
That sad. What do hospitals do with all the dead bodies?
