>be you >just walking around >look down >you suddenly
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>be you
>just walking around
>look down
>you suddenly see a lamp
>you pick it up
>rub it as hard as you can
>genie pops out
>the genie thanks you for saving him from the lamp prison
>grants you 3 wishes
>also tells you that you can't wish for more wishes/genies/lamps
Well /b/, what will you wish for?
>>677348136
places to find genies, wishes, and lamps
>>677348251
Never change /b/.
Restore health of my whole family
1 billion €
This >>677348344
Check'em
>>677348136
Happiness
This dubs
God-like abilities. Yeah that's about everything
>>677348901
You no longer exist
>>677348136
Alright, here goes.
>100% fluency in all human languages
>the ability to never gain more weight than I currently have
>Enough financial knowledge to never be broke/poor again
>>677348136
This >>677348344 and for the last two wishes:
>100 billion dollars (USD) that I can actually spend anytime I feel like it
>A GPS, that constantly gives the precise location of my soul mate, so that I may find her and live a happy, fulfilling life together.
Wish that I can change the rules
Then
Wish for more wishes
Profit...
>>677348610
This
>>677349352
Touche anon-kun.
>>677348136
Take my mom's cancer away, the pain is going to kill her before the actual cancer can. Save my sister from her abusive boyfriend. Give me a gun with one bullet for myself.
Need only one wish
What i imagine shall be real. Done. Infinite possibilyties
>>677348136
The ability to grant or remove from myself and others qualities and powers natural or supernatural that work as I intend them to on a temporary or permanent basis.
I don't really need any other wishes.
>>677348136
Billions of dollars
Happiness
Health
>>677348136
unlimited dubs
unlimited trips
unlimited quads
>>677349644
Wish three times to be this edgy
>>677349844
Well you got the first one going for you so far.
>>677349844
Seems like wish is granted
I would go back in time to before I found the lamp but take the lamp with me and then I would find the other and have two lamps. Repeat.
Unlimited money supply that I can spend anytime
All motherfucking super powers
The body image I want
>>677350084
I'd fund terrorism with this money
>>677348136
Kill all furry fags
Kill all trap lovers
Kill all faggots like you OP
A wife
A divorce
Something to kill myself
1. make me win next lotery jackpot (around 50 millions in my country)
2. true happyness all my life
3. release genie (save him)
>>677348136
>The Throne of England
>A trillion Kuwaiti Dinars (World's strongest currency)
>Malala Yousafzai
>>677349264
thats cute~!
The ability to create more lamps... Problem solved.
>>677349671
Yeah that... pretty much covers anything.
7
7
7
>>677349644
CRAWLING
>>677349844
2 more to go
>>677349644
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWLING IIIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIN
A magical weed baggy which refills with a different kind of weed every time its empty.
A limitless bank account.
Perfect health conditions.
The ability to come back fully regenerated when I die but I can suppress it
Infinite money
A bitch that will stay loyal forever, that will cook like a goddess and always clean and that will have the prettiest face and a fat booty (she has the same power than me btw)
Power of Flight
Unlimited Money
Ability to Speak all Languages
with these three you could basically accomplish or at least work towards world peace. Also get anything you want for your selfish self
Another 5 planets in our solar system that are similar to earth.
A machine that can answer ANY question
And How to build a teleporter
>>677348136
>> Cuishy corporate job at some big corporation with a team of submissive workers that will do anything needed of them.
>> Immortality
>> The ability to shapeshift at will, including altering my mass.
>>677350307
Sandnigger detected
>wish that the word wish be replaces with the word zoop
>zoop that when the genie said 'only 3 wishes' he meant that it was only 3 wishes, not zoops
>zoop for infinite zoops
>>677348136
Infinite cash in wallet.
Lamborghini.
World Peace.
>>677351699
No offense but why wish for a car you could buy with the infinite money?
>>677351533
Salaaaaaam bro!
>>677351075
ive thought about this exact scenario on different days and this is always what i come up with. excellent taste.
wish that everyone's wish in this thread gets cancelled
top zozzle
>>677348136
to have a life of adventue
to be forever rich in the world's superowers currency
to always be happy
>>677350444
It is isn't it. Without love, we'll die.
>>677348136
>a Neptunian girlfriend that's basically a blue pussy-equipped version of myself with tentacles for legs
>the ability to know every information there is by having it presented to me in a Tex Avery style cartoon where everyone is a cute trap wearing a mask of my face
>an eternal state of physical and psychological orgasm that extends through my entire body and gets exponentially better as I yell my name out loud
Extinction of all niggers and jews
Rise of the 4th Reich
Better memes
>>677348136
I wouldn't have touched that thing in the first place. Who knows what germs it might have.
1.invunerable List of all future lottery numbers only i can see and summon.
2. Abilty to fuck anyone i want without repercussions. That means std, awkward behavoir, or even laws.
And here is the best one
3. Look the genie in the eye. Cold and calculated. Slowly tell him i wish he would killhimself in the next hour in the most painful way possible with his power.
I an't no aladin bitch and i dont need others getting hold of this lamp.
>>677352738
You... love yourself, don't you?
Everyone always thinks too small in threads like this.
(1) A small box that spawns a door that opens to a room of doors. Each door can open to any world real or fictional that I can imagine, on the stipulation that I can't remove anything from that world. Each door has a reset button in case I get bored with that realm.
(2) The ability to travel back in time from the present and redo parts of my life while maintaining the perks from my wishes. This doesn't cause me to age or lose any knowledge that I gained throughout my life.
(3) The toggle-able ability to manipulate matter and energy by thought.
1) a billion dollars
2) some chicken curry
3) Sharia law in the US
>>677353408
You forgot to wish for unlimited eliquid for your vape.
>>677348136
>A box that grants me any drug I want on-demand with the utensils necessary to do them
>Immune to all adverse effects of any drug
>Permanent demi-god physique that has immunity to all disease, while aging half as fast as normal
Oh yeeeaah baby, GG niggas.
>>677348251
I would also like Cod Points
>>677348136
I wish he can't remember any wish I made after it's been granted, thus granting infinite wishes. Checkmate.
Wish to be a genie
>>677353408
Nice thinking, but,
> The ability to travel back in time from the present and redo parts of my life while maintaining the perks from my wishes.
Why not redo parts of history instead of selfishly choosing your life. One can change the circumstances that happens today.
>>677353779
>Ability to manipulate matter and energy with thought
I can turn the air around me into cape fuel just by thinking it.
>>677348136
Wish that there was no rules for wishes.
Wish for more wishes.
>>677353909
Ooh but he has to grant that wish for that to happen...which he wouldn't, dumbass.
>>677353909
"I wish for a million dollars"
"So it shall be alakz--- wait what?"
"What do you mean what? Where is my million?? I said i wish for a million dollars!"
"So it shall be, alakz-... wait what am i doing for you again?"
You basically cunked yourself
>>677354161
Nope.
>>677353909
i wish that the anon that wished for unlimited wishes wont get his wish
the 2 other wishes i want a beer
and a joint
>>677348136
>>677348136
>>677348136
I would wish that upon completing my first wish, that the genie forgets that he even heard my first wish!
>>677354230
>After it's granted
Are you stupid?
>>677354111
Fair point. I fucked that up. Better go back in time and redo that wish
>>677352048
Gadaffi should've killed you
>>677354209
He promised to grant three wishes and no other rules were given other than the ones in ops post. Therefore I win.
>>677348136
>Wish I was a girl
>Wish lived in anime world
>Wish I had special powers, namely telekinesis
What else would I want?
With those 3 wishes, I don't even need to fuck around with more-wish technicalities.
Of course, I'd make sure all of those other wishes have proper qualifiers, so that I don't get fucked.
>>677348136
I wish the rule about no wishes for more wishes wasn't there.
>>677348136
>grant me all the secrets of the universe
>become immortal
>ability to be invisible at will
1. Kill all sandrats
2. Many piledcorns
3 100,000 btc
>>677354648
You're assuming. OP already said the genie won't grant any wish that leads to more wishes from him personally.
Id wish for the ability to find out the identity and location about every 4chan poster down to the house number, then you will all bow the fuck down to me
>>677348136
1. I wish for each wish to be considered separably.
2. I wish that wishes be calculated in absolute value.
3. I wish for 1000 fewer wishes.
or
1. I wish the word "splork" were interchangeable with the word "wish".
2. I wish your initial injunction pertained only to the concept of wishing paired with the particular word "wish" as opposed to the concept itself, which you merely signify with that word.
3. I splork for infinite splorks.
1) bill gates net worth
2) Crush to marry me and stay married forever
3) world peace
>>677354940
Nope I took it at face value there's a difference. He said he wouldn't grant more wishes/genies/lamps. If he had said "etc" it would be different.
1. Make me the sole winner of the next lottery drawing I buy a ticket for
2. The power to determine who can live and who dies
3. An immortality that allows me to pick my age and change my appearance
>>677355211
F
You've failed this exercise.
>>677350015
Paradox. If you take the lamp from your past self, then he won't have wished to go back in time, eliminating you.
>>677355389
Nice damage control OP
>>677355087
well meme'd my friend
>>677355057
I'll be waitin faggot. My front yard is littered with explosives btw, all I gotta do is flip a switch and there won't be a front yard anymore lmao. Say hi to Hitler for me and save me a seat in hell, I'll see your anus again hahahahaha...
>>677355211
Except you're a dumbass and you aren't realizing that the genie is self-aware, it IS a person. You're not getting around the base rules with your tard wish, he simply doesn't have to grant it because he knows it'll break the rules. Now piss up a rope, faggot.
>>677348136
1-I wish I could wish more wishes
2-I wish more wishes
There you go.
Mind control power
Power to stop time
A unlimited bank account
>>677356079
>Cannot into rules
>>677348136
I wish there's no rules to wishing
Then wish for a million new wishes
Then wish for CP
>>677348136
I wish to be free to always take my own decisions
I wish to have total freedom
I wish to have your genie powers
>>677355211
You know what the fuck OP meant or maybe you don't because you're fucking retarded.
>>677353796
Nah, get demi-god physique and immortality. Much better.
>>677356182
Nah, OP didn't say anything about wishing for no rules
>>677356440
Damage control.
>>677355468
new universe is created every time he goes back, he gets to keep both lamps
>>677350304
Djinns are usually bound for a reason, he'll kill you if you free him
>>677356568
Fuck living forever, that shit would get boring.
>>677356792
I mean, why not find out everything that would happen after your lifespan? That'd be cash yo
Wish to have ultimate knowledge of physics, and mental capacity to retain that indefinitely. Whether that's 1 or 2 wishes, I don't know. Assume 1: 2 left.
Wish for ability to spawn off Naruto-style shadow clones, so I can get more shit done in a day, learn more and experience more.
Wish 3: Wolverine's healing factor - at it's height, such that I'm in perfect health and will live effectively as long as I want
1 Ability to control minds
2 More genies
3 The rarest pepe
1 shapeshifting like that blue chick on x men
2 eternal life
3 totall recall, perfect memory
>>677356568
>immortality
>witness the birth and death of everyone you know
>witness the sun exploding after 4.9 billion years
>witness every star die out in the universe for trillions of years
>the universe is now black and you're there forever
How is immortality fun again?
>>677348136
A life
>>677348136
omnipotence
omnipresence
omniscience
>basically become God
>>677350689
>>677350963
THESE WOOUUUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAAAAAL
Wish for Batman
>>677357213
its fun for the reallly really really fucking really long time you live until that happens
>>677350304
but you're already releasing him, thats why hes granting the wishes
>>677357213
>be immortal
>witness the growth of society
>watch wars wage, technology grow
>no one fucks with you because you've got the body of a demigod and are effectively invincible
>watch humans expand and grow
>live billions of times longer than the normal human lifespan
sure, it'd all go dark at the end... but let's be honest, it's gonna take a long while for 4.9 billion years to pass and, when it does... you'll have been satisfied from your thousands of years of living. sure, there's downsides to immortality but there are definitely upsides. i'd take it.
every superpower I can think of at any time, can (de)activate whenever I want.
enough money to last at least 5 generations
unlimited knowledge of everything
>>677357213
It's why I wished for the power of life and death first. I have immortality until I decide to die.
>>677356996
Eh, maybe I just want to live long enough to get a goodly amount satisfaction from life and making sure my children are taken care of.
>>677356601
This image is arousing, because of
>pic
>>677348136
>Ameteuers
1.debug mode
2. god tier instruction book for debug mode
Still working on the third :)
>>677348136
quints
>happiness
>someone to love
nigga I don't need 3
>>677357828
>get reality warping
>get path to victory
you can't lose. ever. nice choices, but i'd say 'infinity money'. sure there's a superpower to summon more, but still. better safe than sorry
> for my cock to be at least 6 inches
> my mom to be sexually attracted to me
>to wake up and become a bounty hunter in star wars universe
>>677348136
unlimited money
unlimited gains
the ability to stop time
>>677357575
>>677357779
Still, wouldn't take it.
>>677357849
This is a more viable choice, living as much as you want, then end your own life with a snap of a finger.
>>677349031
Kek
>>677348136
> nearing indomitable will power
>reverting my life back to age 3 but have an interference of child protection services (CPS) so that I'm taken to begin in an orphanage
>clarity in any study, specifically STEM fields
Omnipotency
That's all I need
>>677349264
Fucking creep
>>677357980
thank you sir
>>677357903
>>677358150
yeah, to each their own i guess
hell, i'd probably keep living through the darkness, using the massive time granted to me to try and figure out a way to restore everything. with the power of life and death as said in the guy's post, that should be easy.
repeat the cycle. nudge humanity in any direction you want.
>>677348136
I would wish for these three things-
To always have the right amount of money in my pocket when buying something, to be immortal of any wounds other than age, and to finally find someone who fits my sexuality [flying attack helicopter]. And no, I don't find any attraction in landed attack helicopters.
>>677348136
>1 Billion $
>Masters degree skill-level on all instruments (including voice)
>Friends
To cure me of my trypophobia
Wish 1: that i would be able to wish for more wishes.
Wish 2: more wishes.
Wish 3: profit and bitches
>>677358604
first one would be so great, but what about online stuff? when money appears in your pocket you cant just put it in the computer
for the second one, get immortality you can end at a whim
for the final one ;);):):):)
1. A child to fuck every day
2. Infinite condoms
3. Never get caught by police, FBI, SWAT, etc.
>>677358435
Fuck you, bitch is my soul mate anyway. What's it matter?
>>677358468
That would be real fucking neato.
>>677358657
imagine how good that would feel on your dick though
>>677358820
>Random stranger beats you to death for being pedo
>>677359072
for my second wish i would like to kill this anon
>>677359174
He will never notice if i kill him frist
>>677348136
full disclosure regarding alien presence
peace in the galaxy
free the genie forever
>>677358468
You can't create life in the Eternal darkness, there'd be no molecules, atoms, anything that makes up mass or a life form etc.
You can try and mess with the species life in the current time, but that won't stop the inevitable future loneliness in the dark when the universe finally vapourizes into nothingness.
1. 10 trillion dollars
2. Wish that this didn't somehow fuck up the global economy and make my money worthless
3. >>677358820 This cunt to be tortured by ISIS
>>677348136
I wish to eliminate the wish restriction
Then I wish for more wishes
>>677359533
oh well then deal w/ it i suppose
since you're the only living, somehow breathing 'life' out there, could expand through manipulating yourself? since you're immortal the whole 'killing yourself slowly' thing shouldn't be a big deal. maybe create something or someone to keep you company. then create more. and more. and more.
neato
>>677359690
Doesn't work that way, savvy.
>>677358435
How is wishing for love creepy
>>677359663
I regret nothing
>>677359533
>You can't create life in the Eternal darkness
who says all life forms must be made of physical matter?
I wish for a large swath of land replete with the means for gainful production. A farm, of sorts.
Then I wish for the rights to Fallout from Bethesda.
Then I wish for a bar of gold the size of minivan. In the barn.
>>677359831
It's the fact you want to know where she is at all times, no trust there. How about just finding her?
>>677359013
>>677348136
Obviously 1: physical perfection for a human of my sex
2: The ability to short term control the minds of those I touch
3: The ability to rewrite the mind and base personality of anyone I cum in
Use my looks to make women want to be near me, change them into sluts with a touch, cum in them to permanently make them my slaves. Win at life.
>>677360001
I think that's what he meant- being able to find her at first.
>>677348136
>I wish that each wish be considered separately.
>I wish that wishes should be calculated in absolute value.
>I wish for a thousand fewer wishes.
>>677360083
Lololol you put a lot of thought into that huh??
>>677358820
all the children have HIV and all your condoms are defective
>>677353298
Genie kills himself so hard he blows up the planet, taking you with him silly
>Wish to be able to find a loophole in, or bypass any rules, laws, or restrictions.
>Infinite wishes.
>>677359940
>Dopeheads sneak into your barn regularly to chip off your gaudy, minivan-sized bar of gold, instead of stealing aluminum siding off abandoned homes...
>>677359756
You purely will be living in genie magic.
That's a good idea though, maybe if you cut your arm? But how would it form a living organism or an object since there's no dark matter to keep it intact?
Let alone making a whole perfect atmosphere for a companion. Maybe the genie will feel bad and a lamp falls into your arms yet again.
We'll never know.
>>677360151
Why didn't he say that instead of "having a gps to know Her precise location at all times"
>>677348136
I wish I could wish more wishes.
>>677348136
For everyone else's wishes to come true.
>>677360151
Yes, this. Once I find her the GPS is useless, unless she got kidnapped or some shit. Might be handy then.
1. wish he forgets about the "no wishing for no wishes rule"
2. wish for more wishes
3.wish to fuck your girl in the ass
>>677360312
Because I'm going to get myself set up with a home and shit first. Damn...
>>677360376
Awhhh
>"I wish for my boss to be dead"
>"I wish there were no Muslims"
>"I wish everyone else would just die"
A lot could go wrong
›world peace
›money disapears and a bartering system slides into place without fiat currencies
›infinite natrual resources
>>677348136
100 million dollar inheritance
The figure I had as a runner in high school
That my wife would magically be cool with an open marriage
>>677349264
Gps only shows the location of a cemetary in africa.
>>677360593
Not that kinda thread, stupid faggot.
>>677360533
>>677360406
My mistake amigos, glad you have good intentions fellas. The world needs peoe like you twos.
>>677360554
If that is the case it would still work out in the end.
The wishes would neutralize themselves then.
>>677360521
1. he forgot about the rule
2. sorry the rule still exists even though he forgot about it
3. his girl is your mother
>>677360718
There are probably some really bad people out there that have wished some really bad things. You browse /b, you must know that.
1. omniscience
2. omnipotence
3. doesn't matter
>>677360862
Lol got em
>>677351132
You would quickly become the fattest man on earth.
You never have to walk, and can eat as muvh as you want, and your only job would be talking to people.
>>677351864
because lamborghini is pussy magnet.
>>677360862
fine
1.make him fuck the rules
2.grants me more wishes
3.im ok with this one
>>677361044
Kek
mfw everyone is wishing for whatever the fuck they want and I'm thinking about what if this goddamn genie has morals and won't let me wish for awful or greedy shit I want because he's a moralfag
>>677348136
Flying raijin
Eternal mangekyou Sharingan +perfect form susano'o
6 paths powers + rinnegan
The Flash's powers
True Immortality- so nothing can kill me and I can't die, ever.
That aliens existed- so I can become the God Emperor using my newfound powers.
>>677361153
:0 you bad person!!
>>677361258
Enjoy your lonely eternal life fag
>>677361193
>your wishes are disqualified for being a weeb
>>677361153
genie cant stop you from wishing for bad shit, hes your fucking slave you pussy
>>677345686
A time machine so I can go back in time when I run out of wishes to rub the lantern again and get 3 more
1.a pet dragon that obeys my every command
2.food for the dragon
3. a bitch to fuck while i ride the dragon
I got quints earlier, I dont need your shitty wishes, do you fags even know what it feels like to get quints, of course you dont cause you're all fucking losers. Quints tells that genie hang himself like ol' Robbin Williams
>>677360199
It's been a work-in-progress fantasy ever since I was in my early teens
>yfw you realize you just gave the genie a handjob
>>677361348
Nigga what
Sure it'll be lonely after like 5 billion years but I've got 4.8-4.9ish to do everything I want. Explore every planet in the galaxy? Not a problem I travel like 43 trillion times the speed of light
Explore every galaxy? No problem I'm the goddamn Flash
Someone's bein a bitch? Trap them in the Speedforce
Destroy ISIS/the latest terrorist group? Pic related.
I'm a god now
>>677348136
>enough money to pay bills and live comfortably for the rest of my life
> the ability to tell my boss exactly what i think of him
> long life and good health
>>677361611
>mfw genie gives you a dog to fuck
>>677361366
genie can do whatever he fuckin wants because hes a fuckin genie
OP said he thanks you for saving him from the lamp prison. Which means he feels gratitude, what makes you think he doesn't feel other shit?
There's a reason he's still in that funking lamp and no one before you stumbled upon him
>>677359663
>wishes for a pedo to be tortured by a group of pedos.
>assuming they will not accept him as a brother
>and give him all the sweet 12yo tang he wants.
>>677362089
kek'd
>>677348136
Let this girl come out of my screen and give me a sloppy.
http://www.streamboobs.com/sweetaangel/
My first wish is to pee out of my butt
My second wish is for fruit cream
My third wish is to go back in time as a wizard
>>677348136
1.) I want to be immune to the law
2.) I want NON REGENERATIVE immortality, fuck that healing shit
3.) A sandwhich would be nice
>>677362404
what level wizard?
>>677361492
when you go back in time what makes you think you'll get another 3 wishes? When you go back in time, you are still the same you who already used up his 3 wishes.
>>677348136
I wish for a machine that makes more magic lamps.
>>677362475
1. you are immune to law, but not vigilante justice
2. you are captured by said vigilantes and tortured for all eternity
3. your sandwich is made of maggots
>>677362817
>implying the vigilantes are immortal too
>>677348136
Wizard powers, unlimited charisma, and a pizza
>>677362925
no they just pass on the tradition of torturing the immortal one to their kids
I wish to undo everyones wishes
I wish magic didnt exist
I wish all of the jhins free
1: super heath forever
2: infinite money
3: infinite mutual love
Quads
New computer to shitpost all the day
New chair to shitpost all the day
>>677363408
1. heath (hēth)►
n.
Any of various usually low-growing shrubs of the genus Erica and related genera, native to Europe and South Africa and having small evergreen leaves and small, colorful, urn-shaped flowers. Also called heather.
wish granted fellow plant lover
>>677348136
1 The ability to stop time
2 To be Invincible to everything (age death scars)
3 To be able to Bend all elements (earth water fire air)
>>677348136
>Bigger Cock and Balls
>Superman powerset
>immortality
I would literally own the world. The cock and balls thing is just a personal thing I want.
>>677351533
Fucking kek
>>677348136
>Infinite money
>a furry gf
>nice stuff
>Wish to be able to get mor wishes
>get infinite wishes without any side effects
>Wish to live forever even through mortal wounds
>Be able to be happy
>have the motivation to use the skills I have
>confidence
>>677348136
i used to fuck a jasmine.
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.
once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?
this was the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSPe8dIJEtw
>>677348136
I'd wish for the power to look through the infinite timelines of people so I could see which consequences lead to which actions with little time passing in the real world.
I'd also wish for an object that could lead me to a world of my liking. A world where it's time isn't connected to our time so I could spend time there and be the same age when I get back.
Last wish I wish I was immortal but that I could use magic to change my appearance whenever I wanted. I'd grow older from whichever last body I chose though.
wish 1: Cure my brother's cancer
wish 2: For me to have a long and happy life
wish 3: For a beautiful women who i will love and who will love me
