You awaken in a dimly lit cafe.
You have no memory of how you got here.
>Dubs decides what to do next.
Take a shit on the table
>pull dick out
>see waitress shocked
>fap in her direction
>get chased out by monkey chef with knife
>cum on chef
>yell "JOHN CENA"
>finger asshole outside of diner window
>cops come
>fap at cops until tazed
>epilepsy
>sue
>profit
oh nice remake of the take on me music video really like it.
lick the nearest electrical outlet
>>677018553
Order a pie and offer to share it with the sexy waitress
>>677018553
Check your pockets.
>>677018553
Assess the situation
OP here, forgot to add reasonable replies only, no
>shoot up the school lmao funni maymays xDDD
>>677019188
good decision
>>677019122
You turn and look around for a waitress but the place seems empty of people
>>677019188
You find 3 coins in your front pocket but nothing else.
>>677019819
Since it's empty rob the fuckin cash register
>>677018553
Shit in the sink
Look for food or drink to make yourself
>>677020022
You decide since someone left you in the coffee shop then you are entitled to take whatever you want.
You go behind the counter and look at the cash register.
You try everything but you can't figure out how it opens.
Dubs decides what's next.
>>677019819
Call for help?
>>677020997
I got dubs twice and you shit on my ideas fuck you
check whether you are a nigger
>>677021122
You reach to the left of the register and pick up a phone from it's cradle.
There is no dial tone but a recording in a cool feminine voice informing you that this phone is no longer in service.
Dubs decides
>>677022070
Look out the window for cars.
>>677022070
Leave the fuckin place
look for anything out of the ordinary: anything strange around me or about those coins?
check doors/exits.
Fap
>>677022700
You look around the front part of the cafe a bit and aside from the pace being dim and devoid of people you don't notice anything.
you then turn to look towards the back of the cafe and you assume toward the kitchen and freeze.
You see a small trail of what looks like blood spatters and some smeared on the door to, you think, the kitchen.
dubs what do you do next?
grab a knife and scooby doo that shit.
>>677023543
Fuck you man where's the fapping?
If dubs: lick blood trail clean
>>677022800
>>677023842
You attempt to fap but are confused and shocked when you reach down for your dick and find nothing.
Just a smooth patch of skin.
>>677024186
>>677024242
>>677024186
Goddamnit
peek through the window
Find a weapon and investigate blood trail. Open door slowly after listening and deciding it's all clear.
>>677025334
Roll.
take off all clothing and ram through the blood spattered door
>>677025399
Suddenly you feel a tingle on the back of your neck.
There could be danger nearby.
If you're going to investigate this mystery more you'll need a weapon.
Looking around nothing seems to be lying around that could be readily used to defend yourself.
You look down at your empty hands and can't help but feel your focus dwell on the need for a weapon of some kind.
Your hand begins to glow and you are amazed when the heft of a suddenly appearing powerful looking handgun fills your grasp.
What in the hell is going on?
Dubs decides.
>>677026813
Is actually banana
Be a sick graphic novel. OP, make it happen.
If dubs: enter kitchen
Quietly check to see if the gun is loaded and operational. Investigate blood splattered door. If it is quiet slowly open the door.
>>677027399
The magic gun makes you feel as if you could take on the entire world.
You reach out and push the kitchen door inward and see a bloody pile underneath a preparation table.
Jesus it looks like it's been mauled whaterver it is.
You gag when the aromatic mixture of entrails and day old bakery goods hits you in a wafting wave.
Dubs decides whats next.
>>677028458
Find a knife for your left hand. Keep alert to danger.
>>677028736
Roll
>>677028458
Eat the corpse
Drink bleach.
>>677028736
>>677028822
You step fully into the kitchen and are tackled from the left with the force of a freight train. You land on your side and roll onto your back to a demonic face full of huge teeth baring down on you. You barely manage to block its mouth from closing on your face and you bring the gun to bear but the animal sinks claws into you arm stopping you from getting a shot.
You are in serious trouble, your stomach feels water and your legs electric as your instincts scream to somehow run away and hide.
Dubs think of something quick!
>>677029836
Have sex with the dog
>>677029836
Rape it
>>677029836
Grab gun and shoot it in the face
>>677029836
Put your dick in a blender
>>677030293
Roll
>>677029836
If I can't shoot it than pistol whip it in the fucking eye!
>>677029836
Have dinner with it
>>677030381
Roll
>>677029836
Become a dog
>>677029836
Watch porn with the beast
>>677030381
Rollamajig
>>677029836
shove dick in dog's mouth
>>677030381
And one more roll please.
>>677029836
Dont tango with the rango
>>677030733
winrar
>>677030381
And another roll.
>>677029836
try to get up and find whatever the fuck attacked while also searching for something to heal the wound
>>677030847
>>677030766
>>677030763
>>677030871
fuck you niggers I won
>>677030733
>>677030896
FUCK YOOOOOO
>>677030896
how'd you know im black
>>677030896
But if u recall we didnt have a dick in the begining
>>677030733
ayy lmao
>>677031096
so it'll be more like facesitting?
>>677030733
OP is a fag and won't deliver
>>677031214
We are ded
>>677030733
You wriggle yourself until you work you pants down a bit and get a sinking feeling when you see that you do not have a dick and remember that you discovered that earlier. So much for that plan!
>>677030766
You momentarely amuse yourself by coming up with a nickname for the beast you are currently wrestling, Rango, you then come up with a rhyme that warns not to tango with any more Rangos.
Dubs think of something you can't hold out forever!
>>677031475
Eat the entire dog whole. No chewing just swallow the entire thing in one go
>>677031475
try to do that materialization shit again
aiming for three things here:
medkit
better gun
bullets (unless implied by gun)
>>677031917
fuck, roll.
>>677031669
Roll
>>677031669
Rolling
>>677031475
Tame the beast then you can grow your dick back
>>677031984
nigger dicks, roll.
>>677031917
fuck my dick, roll
>>677031475
Saved by a shaq
>>677031669
Reroll
>>677032137
Re roll
>>677031917
cunt lips roll
>>677031475
Shoot beast in head. If that is impossible that pistol whip it in the eye.
>>677032178
One more time
>>677032188
WINRAR
>>677032188
Op deliver
>>677032216
Roll
>>677032395
damn give tha brotha some time
>>677031917
rollioni
>>677032568
Lol just laughing that thatactually got dubs
>>677032822
>>677032822
wasted dub smh
>>677031917
reroll
>>677031475
try to materialize a bigger gun and health kit
>>677033073
Nah shaq saved us
guys want some fresh sjw entertainment while we wait? shit's straight off the press
>>677032188
Darkness starts to creep into your vision.
You feel more angry that you'll never uncover the mystery of your existence than scared that you are being ripped apart and eaten by some sort of monster.
Just as you're feeling the last shred of hope leave you as well as consciousness the weight of the creature is lifted abruptly and the pain of the jaws around your arm eases.
You open your eyes to see a large Black man in a basketball jersey stab a sword through the monster skull.
Dark blood sprays out and spatter the floor and ceiling.
That was close!
Dubs decides what you do now.
>>677033502
>>677033590
Finally get to ear dinner and ay some b-ball with mah nigga shaw afterwards
>>677033780
Shaq
re roll
>>677033637
lost
>>677033828
Last time
>>677033590
Attempt to sove capcha
>>677033590
"shaq what's going on halp"
>>677033590
Get raped by shaq nigger dick
>>677033590
beat the nigger!
>>677034031
rerolllllllllllll
>>677033590
Turn into a bee
>>677034031
uno mas
>>677033590
Have dinner
>>677033590
Present our anus for him to ravage as payment for saving us
>>677034084
rull
>>677034206
Roll
>>677033590
Look for shaggy and scooby with shaq
>>677033590
reach out and grab shaq's cock
>>677034287
Re roll
>>677034206
Rolling
>>677034287
Re-roll
>>677034327
reroll
>>677034206
Reroll
>>677034327
rolllllllllll
>>677033590 shrek
>>677033590
Explore with shaq
>>677033590
try to suck shaq's cock
>>677033590
Try to eat fucking food cause im to retatred to fuxkg eat
>>677033590
Try to go to kfc with new nigger
>>677034731
Reroll
Ask Shaq where you are and if he has any rasin bread
>>677033590
Act like u had the situation
>>677033590
ask shaq what the hell is going on and try to materialize a medkit or some shit
>>677033590
Smoke weed
>>677034868
goddamn roll
>>677031475
Die?
>>677033590
Poop
>>677034084
reroll
>>677033590
Go pee
>>677034977
Roll call
>>677034977
fuckn nigger
start jacking off and then go to sleep
>>677033590
Explore the store with new nig
>>677033590
Eat some leftover taco bell in tje fridge
>>677035318
Reroll
>>677030293
roll
>>677033590
Shaq gets aressted and beat by cops and ur a hero also shaq killed the guy
>>677035481
reroll
>>677033590
Find out that you were a ghost the whole time
>>677034977
If dubs Shaq die
>>677035686
DUBS
Space jam with shaq
>>677035686
Roll
>>677033590
Wake up its a dream after a good fap
>>677035794
Roll
>>677033590
Something happens
>>677035866
Do the jam!
>>677033590
Look for pussles lime silent hull
Puzzles
>>677033590
Go to sleep
>>677034977
You decide that you'd rather die than continue on in this crazy world.
You focus your energy on stopping living.
You withdraw your will to live and you die.
Shaq looks on with a puzzled look on his face as you sink down and you vision fades to blackness.
Looks like that's the end of your story. You can't help but feel a deep pang of regret that you didn't hang on long enough to find out the truth of you existence. Oh well. Sometimes dead is better.
>>677036079
Re roll
>>677036123
New story?
>>677036123
New game +?
You awaken in the back of a taxi cab.
You don't remember getting in.
>>677036123
thanks anon, that was anticlimactic but mildly entertaining nonetheless
>>677036123
GG WP
>>677036574
Easy break the windo and leave
>>677036574
try to catch a glimpse of where you are (city, rural, etc) and look at who the man is
>>677036574
If its moving ask if i was drunk?
>>677036737
damn i suck roll
>>677036574
Get naked
>>677036574
Check if i still have a dick or vagina
>>677036574
Shit in pants
>>677036574
Go back to sleep
>>677036574
Sever penis
>>677036574
o fuck hes gonna want money. check pockets for cash
>>677036574
>>677036574
If dubs in car with scooby
>>677036574
Barbeque own genitals with cigarette lighter
>>677037122
Kek
>>677037122
this universe seems to lack genitals tho
>>677036574
Ewting a eheese burger
>>677036574
Also with mike tyson
>>677037853
Reroll
>>677036574
If dubs in my pocket I have:car keys, a wallet with 20$ inside, a broken phone, headphones and a small pocket knife
>>677038180
Nop
>>677037077
Winrar
>>677036574
Op?
>>677036574
While watching space jam
OP here.
I changed my mind on the new story. I'm gonna go to sleep. I am exhausted.
I'll post another thread tomorrow.
Maybe you will get another chance at learning the nature of your mysterious dickless existence.
