>ITT : WE WORK IN THE SAME BIG IMPORTANT COMPANY DOING BIG IMPORTANT THINGS
>>676268427
>work
>>676268427
AS ASSISTANT TO THE HR MANAGER I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU WE DO NOT ALLOW CHING CHONG FOKBOI TO WORK HERE
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
What would you say it is you.. do here?
>>676269412
DEAR ANON
WE DO SELL BIG IMPORTSNT THINGD TO BIG IMPORTANT PEOPLE WITH BIG IMPORTANT BOXES
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
alla brakbur
>>676268427
I WANT TO CONTRIBUTE BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY
>>676269686
DEAR SANDNIGGER
RE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT U ARE UNAMERICAN AND THERE FOR NOT ALLOWED TO BE IN OUR COMPANY
I WILL BE CALLING DANTE OUR HEAD SECURITY TO REMOVE YOU FROM THE PREMISES
SINCERELY
JIM FORM HR
>>676270296
DEAR ANON
YOU ARE NOW PROMOTED TO HEAD OF SALES
>>676268427
Ill get the crab meat for the next meeting
**ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES**
ANY LUNCH IN THE REFRIGERATOR WILL BE THROWN OUT IF THERE IS NOT MOMS SPAGHETTI IN IT.
THAT IS ALL.
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
>>676270614
what is wrong with you he should be vp you idiot
>>676271535
your mom is not awesome
>>676268427
I just shit myself
>>676271324
DEAR ANON
CRAB MEAT WILL BE MUCH APPRECIATED FOR THE NEXT MEETING. I WILL BE TAKING NOTE OF THIS.
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
>>676269686
everyone has aids sir
>>676271975
DEAR ANON
I WILL TAKE NOTE OF THIS AND SPEAK TO ACCOUNTING TO DEDUCT YOUR PAY FOR SPEAKING OUT OF LINE.
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
>>676268624
"Hey what time is the meeting??"
>>676271975
shouldn't we offer condoms sir?
I gotta shit bad but I really need to finish these TBS reports before midnight.
>>676272374
FUCK, forgot the pick
Who farted?
>>676272374
That Bad Shit reports? sounds serious super serious
>>676272302
OH YEA??? I have the pie to throw!!!!
Did anyone else smell that?
>>676271820
DEAR ANON
MY MOM IS A SAINT ! YOU HEAR ME A SAINT !
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
>>676272528
ME! you.....you....animal?!?!
>>676272302
MORNING JIM, THIS IS TED FROM ACCOUNTING - THAT ANON HAS NOT RECEIVED A PAYCHECK IN THREE WEEKS, ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T FIRE HIM?
Memo to All Associate Consultants:
Whoever has been writing "Gas the nigger-worshipping kikes" on the accounts receivable reports, please stop. We have to copy those and send them on to corporate, and all the white-out we're using is costing a fortune.
Thanks,
Mr. Satan
>>676272990
a smelly saint, trust me a compliment
>>676272475
oh god! what did i do wrong?
I'll vote for Clinton, boss! Ain't nothing a kike can handle about this situation
>>676268427
Do i blow myself up now, or when we get to the airport?
>>676273194
DEAR TED
I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE GLITCH I WILL FIRE ANON BY FRIDAY. ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO FIRE PEOPLE ON FRIDAY. ITS AVOIDS CONFRONTATION AND IT BOOSTS MORAL
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
>>676273194
TED of course, of course the one who fucked his grandma and then lied about it
Whispering: I heard that Jim from HR likes it in the butt. Hehe
>>676273263
I thought we told you not to fuck jim from hr.
>>676268427
DID SOMEONE SAY DRUG TESTS?
>>676273522
DEAR ANON
WHAT I DO ON MY OWN TIME IS MY THING. I WILL SPEAK WITH TED FROM ACCOUNTING TO DEDUCT YOUR PAY FOR SPEAKING OUT OF LINE
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
>>676268427
I'm the biggest importantest person doing the most important things things at this important and big company. You all can have the rest of the day off.
Sincerely
Professor Hitler M.D. PhD
>>676273444
STOP SHOUTING....god man I need to study for my parole officer
TO: JIM FROM HR
RE: YOUR WIFE'S HALF-NIGGER SON
I can't help but notice that you have a large (possibly 8th grade or so?) half-nigger step-son. Please refrain from bringing him to the office for "Kids Visiting Day" this April. It would really bring morale down if we all had to witness your cuckoldry.
Thanks,
Mr. Satan
PS We can speak in person about this if you'd like; I'll be at the cafe on the fifth floor around 2:00 PM today
Anyone replpying to this comment gets a rise (im the big boss)
>>676268427
Haha cubicle dwelling scum!
>like me IRL
>>676273714
yes sir hitler sir....Ill get you those reports about those damn jews right away sir
>>676273479
show me in writing the standard operating procedures where this is specifically banned in the work place? it's my grandma I can do what ever the hell I want with here duing my breaks.
IT checking in... who needs adobe updated.
>>676273817
You aren't getting a rise out of me you cheeky cunt
>>676273817
your not....you have terrible grammer sir
>>676273722
DEAR ANON
I SPEAK LIKE THIS CAUSE WE DO BIG IMPORTANT THINGS IN A BIG IMPORTANT BUILDING. SO I SPEAK IMPORTANTLY.
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
>>676273662
OH SHIT I NEED THIS JOB, LET'S SEE IF JIM FROM HR HAS ANY CLEAN PISS ANON
>>676273711
>>676273965
HE DOES he only has the russian policy
>>676274052
>>676274126
youre both fired
>>676273444
DEAR JIM
NICE TRIPS
SINCERELY
DAVID FROM THE HELP DESK
>>676274316
>>676274017
>>676273965
FUCK ME IM AN IDIOT
>>676274017
Yes I restarted my PC now do your fucking job and fix the issue I told you about last week instead of pretending it's all in my head.
Will somebody please bring another case of Jagermeister to my office, please?
And some Xanax from the R&D department?
Thanks,
Mr. Satan
Printers jammed
>>676274126
Fuck you, you fucking fuck. Your account is now locked out and no I cannot uncorrupt your PST file. Need to do some things on the server now I'll get to your problems tomorrow afternoon.
-IT
>>676274335
thats what you think bitch suck my cock!
>>676274170
Dude, just mix some bleach and ammonia together and put it in the ventilation. it cleans your system out in like 2 minutes, everyone will thank you.
Amy from the legal team might be impressed.
>>676268427
>implying /b/ can land important jobs
Dear Jim from HR,
You typing your faxes in all caps is costing this company absurd amounts of money in unnecessary printer ink. Please refrain from this in the future.
Sincerely, Dave from Financial Management.
>>676273711
HELLO JIM
ANON'S PAY HAS BEEN DOCKED $1.37 PER HOUR.
SINCERELY
TED FROM ACCOUNTING
>>676268427
ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES.
CEO OF BIG IMPORTANT COMPANY HERE. JIM FROM HR IS A MASSIVE CUM GUZZLER. THAT IS ALL
- CBIC
>>676268427
The hummingbird feeders are out of sugar water. I need this to be handled ASAP.
Sincerely,
Ted the homeless guy outside by the dumpster
>>676274522
Sir,
That's an etcha-sketch. The thing to the left is your PC.
-IT
>>676274635
Um satan, hitler is here I have to run the jew reports first
>>676274701
EAT SHIT DAVE
SINCERELY, DAVE FROM MARKETING
>>676274831
Do you also want the jimmy beans I stole from Jims office
>>676274888
Please remember all jew reports are to be printed on the low quality settings and black ink only to save money.
-IT
>>676274831
Dear homeless man,
We had to put down all the hummingbirds as they were draining this company's assets.
Sincerely, Dave from FM
HEY GUAYS IYS MYEE CRL! I JUAST FAUKED ANADHER GYRL!
Who the fuck authorized the purchase order for 20 pallet's of dragon dildo's? our budget's completely drained.
>>676275004
Do you want the shit I have in my right hand and I gotta get these damn reports to hitler
HITLER where are you damnit!
>>676274674
Thank god, if I lost this job I could afford to buy biscuits for my ponies. Oh and while I got all your attention, can you ask find another place to finish? My shoes are getting sticky.
Brian the janitor.
FYI: we are out of coffee
>>676274398
>>676275004
>>676274701
HOW MANY DAVES WORK IN THIS GODDAMN PLACE?
SINCERELY
DAVE FROM LOGISTICS
>>676275304
I can neither confirm nor deny my involvement in this purchase.
Sincerely, Dave from FM
>>676275243
but HITLER demanded it from the Z100000000....our master color printer sir....by the way I already printed them
Ill never have a real job again... :(
>>676274701
Dave,
I've got to take the blame for this one. I've been taking the cartridges home for my home printer and replacing them with Marlboro packs full of semen. apparently they don't work the same way.
Yours truly,
Greg the janitor
ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES
I'M THE JANITOR HERE AND IF I CATCH THE SON OF A BITCH WHO KEEPS PUTTING A LOAF OF BREAD IN THE TOILETS I WILL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ARMS
JOE THE JANITOR
>>676275304
GODDAMNIT PEOPLE I TOLD YOU TO LOCK THE COMPANY CHECKS UP WHEN YOU GO ON BREAK, THOSE FUCKERS ARE PRE-SIGNED!
>>676274663
security please escort this mad man outside thx
Fuck you Jim Ill shit in all the urinals I want!
ALLAH SNACKBAR!!!
-an explosion can be heard coming from Jims office-
>>676275841
It was probably that fucking Dave guy.
>>676275599
Dear Dave from Logistics,
Due to the recent lack of funding, we were forced to change everyone's name to Dave on the payroll as it was the shortest, yet still reasonable name we could think of.
Sincerely, Dave from FM
>>676274646
Damn thing always jams...
I'll call the maintenance guy to check it out.
>>676275599
well thank gawd were not talking about me
Paul Asshole
Laser Printer specialist
All,
Not sure who's scanning their scrotum repeatedly, but keep up the good work.
-Joseph
Senior Vice President at AnonCo.
Why the fuck do people not get the concept of double flushing? Why leave the toilet covered in shit? I work with fucking retards.
I swear to god, if one more fucking person sets the microwave on fire, I'm rigging a bomb in the elevator.
-Karl the Janitor
>>676275996
keep sucking my cock dickhead
>>676274747
DEAR TED
I APPRECIATE YOUR HELP MY TRAP WIFE MADE CUPCAKES AND WILL BRING SOME TO YOU
SINCERELY
JIM FROM HR
This is Hank Hill, Strickland Propane, here for an unannounced service check...
Im getting some lunch, any request?
>>676275841
ROOPS ITA ME. NAMTED DAV.
Which one of you are lookibg at Tranvestite porn.
Company Owner.
David Rockefeller
>>676268427
There will be a staff performance review on Friday. Make sure all appropriate staff show up in a timely manner for presentation.
t. James from HR
>>676276344
OH SHIT GUYS ACT COOL
my name is bill billson, im the head of assigning rooms and the head pen tester. let me know if you want an office
>>676276329
Ted needs to die....wheres the flamethrower
>>676276344
What sort of accessories do you have?
>>676276220
>sets two microwaves on fire
I need help getting my dick out of the toaster
i'm putting this picture in the main office and you fagits can't stop me
>>676269412
I work with people.. I'm good with dealing with people, BLARHHHH PEOPLE
etc.
Love office space!
>>676276370
A lethal dose of adderall.
-Karl
DEAR ALL,
ATTENTION: BIG IMPORTANT COMPANY™ IS NOW UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT. EVERYTHING IS PRETTY MUCH THE SAME, EXCEPT WE'RE NOW KNOW AS THE FOURTH REICH™.
SINCERELY, ANNOYING DESK LADY
>>676276488
>>676276344
throws pie at Hank
Phone in to HR:
This is Ralph, I will not be coming in today. Don't feel all that well. Must have been something I ate last night. If I feel better tomorrow I may come in.
"WHO WANTS TO SMOKE A BLUNT?"
Uh Dave got his penis stuck in the fax machine...
I personally believe Dave deserves a raise.
>>676276038
Thanks for clearing that up Dave.
Sincerely, Dave from logistics
Whoever keeps sending white powder to everyone in the office and signing Alla hu General Akbar needs to stop immediately or face termination.
Smelly-Fingered Sam from Mailing
Some of you guys are cool. Don't come to work tomorrow.
>>676275841
Joe,
On behalf of the company, I'd like to thank you for your 40 years of service. The toilet bread is actually your dismissal pension. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Sincerely,
Dave from some office
>>676268427
>>676276750
Dave's new job will be to send faxes to all of our competitors daily. The starting pay will be $5 above his current position.
>>676276750
Dave should get a promotion for his effort of procreating the fax machine.
Guys, management keeps asking whos stealing the tampons in the womens restroom
- Tod from Accounting
>>676276711
yay fuck those jews and niggers and muslims and fucking redskins........im in love
>>676276750
I got mine stuck in there the other week, shits fucking hard to operate
>>676276685
Sure thing
>>676276612
Well, I suppose I did only specify ONE more microwave. Guess I'll just piss in your potted plant, you fucking cuck.
THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COMPANY? WHO KEEPS FILLING THE PEPSI MACHINES WITH COKE? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH ALL THIS COKe?
The Pepsi delivery guy.
>>676276158
That would be me sir, thank you.
-Dave from supply
>>676277043
The fax machine was still easy to work with though, right?
>>676276562
You see, at Strickland we have all the propane and propane accessories you can think of I tell ya hwat.
>>676277031
What? I like sucking on them.....???? *throws hands up in the air
I hope everyone got my memo.
-Meeting is in 14h
-FORMAL ATTIRE
-we all talk really loud our ideas
-i expect graph icons of what you did this quarter to make internet more of a poisonous place
WE'RE OUT OF TONER
- Tod from Accounting
>>676277203
Don't take credit for that you faggot
-Dave from valet
>>676277248
Oh yeah definitely knows what it's doing down there
HITLER WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
>>676276454
That was me sir, just getting my morning shame-fap in before the meeting.
Someone say COKE!?
Time do a line and get shit done like its 1985!
DEAR B0SS
PAID MANDATORY VACATION COMING UP SOON AS A PART OF INTERNAL CONTROL.
SINCERELY
HAPPY ACCOUNTANT
>>676277331
Alternatively, fuck you.
-Karl
>>676277341
who the fuck is tod?
-Dave from 12th floor
To the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on.
Rick
YO DAWG YALL NIGGAZ KNO WERRR I CULD GIT A JAWB APPLICAYSHUN ROUND DIS BITCH?????
>>676277203
Dave is doing double duty with the scanner and his scrotum?
Such work ethic is beyond admirable.
>>676276639
I'll sumbit a ticket
INC000003239194
Client: David Davidson
Priority: Low
Urgency: Low
Summary: end user error. input not recognized. Routing to Desktop Ops > Repair
Status: monitoring incident
>>676277594
Me
- Tod from Accounting
Guess I'm facing this alone.
- Dan from loss prevention
I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM EVERYONE THAT DUE TO RECENT BUDGET CUTS, THERE WILL BE NO PROSTITUTES OR FUN DIP AT THE MEETING TODAY.
SINCERELY, DAVE FROM FM
>>676277341
Fucking use the other machine
Paul Asshole (Dave)
Laser Printer Specialist
Dibs on sketchy drug guy
-Creed
>>676276506
I'm submitting a request for office #235. I need to be close to the restroom because I have a... condition. Also, I kindly ask that this be a scent free workplace.
>>676277484
Pretty sure I saw him with Dave down I the second floor, I was kinda high though.
>>676268427
i love what i do though, who know maybe in a year i'll be at another company, for know i just love what i do. Some IT jobs out there are amazing, takes for hell to get a job like this though
Dave 3 here,
Someone left a bunch of cats in my cubicle.
Can someone tell me what I'm supposed to do with all this pussy?
>>676268427
Hello there, /b/ Inc.
I see that only 1% of your management are woman. This is a disaster for equally representation of the equal sexs and I am very disturbed by this.
If you don't bump it up to 40%, Then we will have to forcefully dissolve your company.
t. Swedish diversity hotline for less discrimination and oppresion of wimmin
>>676277161
THAT WAS THE COKE STASH FOR THE SUMMER PARTY! I TOLD DAVE THAT WAS A STUPID HIDING SPOT!
>>676277772
Some dude id scanning his scrotum on that one
- Tod from Accounting
>>676277707
why the fuck is priority low for getting your dick out the toaster?
this is a god damn emergency
>>676277630
Rick,
Sorry man, just got it can quite figure it out. Did you get the memo about the company softball team? I hope Susan doesn't fuck it up again this year, she's such a bitch. Thanks for heads up.
Tim from FS
>>676277819
No scents makes good sense!
- Doug from legal
>>676276344
I'm sorry sir, social engineering won't work here. Quit trying to steal our sekrits. Thanks!
ATTN: ALL STAFF
MEETING IN MAIN IMPORTANT MEETING ROOM IN 1 HOUR. WE HAVE VERY SERIOUS MATTERS TO DISCUSS.
SINCERELY,
CRAIG FROM MANAGEMENT
>>676277771
NO FUN DIP?
I hope that budget went to bulletproofing and TSA-level security. You're gonna need it.
>>676274017
lost
Do as little work as humanly possible. If you don't do anything, you can't scrw anything up. With a perfect track record the future is yours.
Dear Beloved Co-Workers
Hey dickheads! Could you stop postsing CP on my computer
Sincerely, Anon
>>676277771
Fuck it Im bringing one anyways
Paul Asshole (Dave)
Laser Printer Specialist
Hey guys,
Who took a dump in the coffee pot again? It was funny the first time, but got old after the eighth time.
Also, somebody please get me a queserito.
-Randy Bobandy, Warehouse
>>676278061
Important meeting room 1 or 2
- Tod from Accounting
Hi everyone, I'm in charge of the actions of this company and I prepared a presentation for you to inform you of our actual situations. We are losing big amounts of money! The company will go in bankrupt if we don't start to cut heads and stop wasting money! Or even better, if some of you do your fucking work! Second, one thing that is costing us millions is the money we have to pay for sexual harassment toward our female employees, you know how much we pay every month in compensation!? You have fucking idea!? NO, YOU DON'T! EVERY TIME A WOMEN CAME HERE, YOU UNEDUCATED BASTARDS START ACTING LIKE 13 YEARS OLD FAG! "TITZ OR GeT The Fuk off!!1 xd" JESUS! MATURE FROM ONCE! What do you have to say on your defense? Huh? WHAT!?
>>676278166
I think it's still pretty funny
>>676277991
FUCK!!!!! USE JIMS!
Paul Asshole
Laser Printer Specialist
Can I bring pot to the pot luck?
>>676277331
I VOTE WE USE THE OLD CONFERENCE ROOM AS A SPACE TO RAISE DAVE'S BABY FAX MACHINES THAT KEEP SPAWNING.
>>676278166
DUE TO RECENT BUDGET CUTS, WE ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO AFFORD TOILETS. SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY CAUSE.
SINCERELY, DAVE FROM FM
>>676268427
anon, did you get the memo?
Jim forgot to send all these memos in comic sans
>>676268427
I quit. The fuck are you to tell me what's important, I have heroin to smoke.
>>676277807
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
-Michael
>>676278166
Randy,
That's not a dump. That's the new Brew-N-Chew™ coffee. I assure you it's fine to eat. Trust me.
-James Russels, mailroom
>>676278259
3, GOD DAMMIT, TED. WE ALWAYS USE 3.
SINCERELY,
CRAIG FROM MANAGEMENT
>>676278166
Pretty Sure it was my dog this time
- Mason Buckleberry, Law firm
>>676277837
Hitler You motherfucker your jew reports are ready..... god damnit
>>676278336
Where the hell is Jim anyway?
Ted (Dave) from accounting
Hey Jim,
Can I use your printer?
- Tod from Accounting
>>676277992
Sir, I don't have access to amend the ticket, its already out of my queue. but I'll leave an email for the tech, he's on vacation right now but he should be back in 2 weeks
>>676277989
Shit, I don't think I need to drive my Pepsi truck like this, what floor is the I THINK I JUST OVER DOSED ON COKE DEPARTMENT on?
Anyone up for a game of CounterStrike?
- Mason Buckleberry, Lawfirm
Can I 3d print more 3d price terms?
-Alex from Target
>>676278594
fuck off tod get your own printer
also, how much do we get paid?
>>676278061
Yea your 1/2 inch penis I saw it last night....dude not impressive
>>676278529
..... Its tod sir
- Tod from Accounting
WHERE IS ALL MY GODDAMN MAIL??
PEPE SILVIA, CEO
>>676278306
Nice presentation.
I think we should force half of the employees to go full transgender. should fix the pc issues toot sweet.
>>676278306
your mom
>>676278747
>>676278406
Well ever since the budget cuts.....
- Tod from Accounting
>>676278529
THAT WAS TOD SIR, I AM TED.
SINCERELY
TED FROM ACCOUNTING
>>676278599
Can we atleast cut power to the toaster? some kids keep running in here and turning it on, this is not a funny situation
-Dave from the Dave department
>>676278952
UNFORTUNATELY, DUE TO RECENT BUDGET CUTS, WE ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO AFFORD ELECTRICITY. SORRY FOLKS.
SINCERELY, DAVE FROM FM
>>676278563
Fuck if I Know????
Paul Asshole (Dave)
Laser Printer Specialist
>>676277654
Yeah man just send us your résumé
*chuckles*
Okay, who the fuck took the heroin from my desk? I'm going to hunt you down mother fuckers.
-Steve from Custodial
Hey Jackson how did the date go with my wife last night? I had a great time babysitting her son.
>>676278795
DON'T FUCK WITH ME, TIM.....
SINCERELY,
CRAIG FROM MANAGEMENT
Dear Co-Workers,
I need a new shipment of the following
-Paper
-Pens
-Printer paper
-More pens
-Staples
-A new stapler
I'm sorta new here, so can anyone help me out?
- Mason Buckleberry, Lawfirm
>>676278061
CRAIG IS A FAGGOT
>sent anonymously
>>676278843
May or may not have been used to roll a few bomb-ass joints.
-Karl
Also, fuck you.
>>676278683
3, next to the old conference room/ fax machine nursery.
>>676279309
It was probably those shit mongers Ricky and Julian
Randy bobandy - the CHEESEBURGER department
>>676277557
-xou are fired,Karl
I heard what you did with paperclips and your anus.
When you do Texan Spicy Hole Licker it is requred to share pics.
-Marop, CEO, son of owner and HR leader
Clean your desk until 13h!
Have a nice day.
>>676278594
I ordered a printer ($5 printers from Wau U Mart) for every computer they should be here soon
Paul Asshole (Dave)
Laser Printer Specialist
>>676279029
Yeah
- Tod from Accounting
>>676279443
Fuck you Craig, you faggot, did you steal my heroin. I saw you eyeballing it the other day. I'll cut your fucking balls off.
-Steve from Custodial.
>>676279446
shut the fuck up you little twat get the fuck out of the office you faggot fuck
fucken newfags eh..
>>676268427
this is where I work, super important
http://www.streamboobs.com/rosemiller_/
>>676279614
there goes our budget for the year
Dear Mason Buckleberry,
You fucked up now. I installed secret cameras in your cubicle and found that you're the one that's been taking the staplegun from warehouse.Not only that but you've been stapling your nuts to stacks of paper for pleasure, you sick fuck. I've reported you to HR and they will deal with you in due time. The only way I can repeal my report is if you buy me a queserito ASAP.
Fuck you,
Randy Bobandy, Warehouse
>>676268427
Dear Anon,
It's with a heavy heart I write this email to you but you're being fired for clogging the toilet and not notifing the janitor.
>>676276370
qdoba, if its close by. i want a loaded burrito bowl to stuff my fat face.
SINCERELY,
JUSTIN IN PAYROLL
>>676268427
>check e-mail
>GOOD MORNING
>I'M SELLING THIS PIECE OF SHIT ITEM FOR AN OVERPRICED AMOUNT
>PLEASE REPLY ALL IF INTERESTED :)
>THANK YOU ALL AND HAVE A BLESSED DAY :)
>Meagan, HR specialist
FAGGOT DEPARTMENT LINE PICK UP LINE 101 FAGGOT DEPARTMENT LINE 101
>>676279757
What about the cheeseburger budget mr. Lahey
Randy bobandy - the cheesburger department
¿pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ʎɯ oʇ op ǝɥ pᴉp llǝɥ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ¿ʇɐ ɥɔǝʇ ʇɐɥʇ sᴉ ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ǝɹǝɥʍ
>>676279883
Oh, he notified us. We told him to take care of it himself. We're not playing in his shit. We have better things to do in the boiler room.
-Steve from Custodial.
>excel.exe has crashed
>>676279757
Nope used the budget from the Swimming pool budget......people been using it for a toilet thus its a no longer viable fund. were good!
Paul Asshole (Dave)
Laser Printer Specialist
>>676280128
I'm not cleaning up that mess.
-Steve.
>>676279029
TED??? WHO THE FUCK IS TED???!!!
>>676279447
ATTN: ALL STAFF
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT I AM A FAGGOT. I'M SORRY I LET THE COMPANY DOWN. IN MY PLACE DAVE HAS HIRED BOB.
SINCERELY,
CRAIG FROM MANAGEMENT
>>676280084
I cant believe he didnt use the fucking pool
>>676268427
>we have a cake for meridith in the break room
>I hate my life
>I sponsored someone to walk around a track for a disease this weekend
> did you catch that game last night?
> i fucking hate my life and will never be happy and will never know why
> did you talk to the new hr girl? i'd like to converse with her as a human lol. jk. ikr.
> synergize
> cant wait for the seminar to break up the monotony of my life, i feel like i have mental cancer
> i hope i dont fart in front of my co workers, i hate my life
>>676271535
My doctor says I can't eat moms spaghetti since it makes my knees weak and my arms heavy
>>676279779
Frig off bobandy you friggin cheeseburger walrus
J-roc - it department
>>676276506
submitting a request for 211. its close to the conference room where i can host pointless meetings.
We confiscated some weed earlier we found hidden in the bathroom earlier today. We will be trying it ourselves to ensure it is actually weed. We would also like the owner of the weed to come forward and notify us of where he bought it.
Dave from HR
>>676280302
Can I have my fucking heroin back yet? Christe...
-Steve.
>>676280302
BOB IS A FAGGOT
>sent anonymously
>>676280529
Fuck off Steve
Other Steve from 5th floor
>>676279779
Dear Randy Bobandy, Warehouse
Ex-fucking-scuse me? I would never! Even so, you violated my privacy. I'm a lawyer. Prepare to get sued for everything
-Mason Buckleberry, Lawfirm
DUE TO UNSANITARY CONDITIONS WE HAVE TO CLOSE YOUR BUISNESS. ENJOY YOUR UNEMPLOYMENT.
STEVE. OSHA
Due to budget cuts we can no longer afford the wheely seats, everyone must settle for non wheel seats.
- Tod from Accounting
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THERE IS A SEVERE LACK OF WOMEN IN THIS OFFICE, ALONG WITH A LACK OF RACIAL DIVERSITY. THIS IS DISTURBING INDEED, AS I AM A WOMAN OF AFRICAN AMERICAN DESCENT. I ALSO FEEL DIS-INCLUDED DURING OUR WEEKLY CHRISTIAN GATHERING AT THE WATER COOLER, BECAUSE I ALSO PRACTICE JUDAISM. AS THE HEAD MANAGER OF P&R, I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST MORE FUNDING TOWARDS HIRING MORE WOMEN, REPLACING THE STOLEN TAMPONS IN THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM, BLACK CANVAS CHAIRS TO SOAK UP ROGUE PERIOD BLOOD AND A COPY OF THE TORAH KEPT IN EVERY BATHROOM JUST IN CASE SOMEONE NEEDS TO RENEW THEIR KNOWLEDGE OF PENNY PINCHING AND SHECKLES.
HELEN GARFIELD, HEAD MANAGER OF P&R
BIG IMPORTANT COMPANY LTD
>>676279037
you'll need to contact Dave from maintenance about that. he's on vacation with the tech as well. said something about going going skiing with a guy on each side... didn't know he knew how to ski.
>>676280518
Fuck you Dave. Get my my heroin back, or I'm not giving you your nightly blowjob
-Steve.
WHERES JIM??? is he too busy masterbating?
-Dave sucks cock-
accounting
>>676280529
NO. I'VE ALREADY DONE ALL OF IT.
SINCERELY,
CRAIG
They' ll never find my pot. Those company fuckwads are blind.
-Johnry Balbert
>>676280518
To Dave
Im sorry but I got my own guy. You csnt have him. But keep the weed. Its my gift to you.
-Hugh from sales
>>676279309
Steve, as my daddy said: "there is no "win" in mine heroin".
Anyway, clean your desk until 12h, you selfish prick!
-Marop, CEO, son of owner and HR leader
KTNXBAI!
>>676280128
Hey, you are going to pay that!
>>676280737
NIGGER!
>>676280484
J-roc,
I've got dirt on you as well, faggot. I know you enticed Dave from corporate with your sweet ass to get a 50 cent an hour raise you poor fuck. I'll let the world know about your secrets if you don't buy me a queserito ASAP.
Randy Bobandy, Warehouse
>>676280717
You faggots!
>>676280705
Come down the the boiler room and say that to my face you bitch ass 5th floor Steve. Did you ever get the rat out of your desk? It must smell of decay by now. faggot.
-Steve from Custodial
>>676280799
Jim is out by the bathroom getting hammered
Hi there guys. This is Dave from the basement filing department. I was on my pc /b/rowsing a feels thread and feeling really bad, when I came across the start of Big Important Company. This thread, from beginning to now, has made me so happy and stopped the extreme thoughts of being an hero. I gotta clap clap for you fags. I thank all of you. Also, Steve from custodial, please refrain from eating the soap out of the urinals. We need those, the men's room smells bad now.
Sincerely,
Dave from the basement filing department
>>676280737
With all due respect miss, kill yourself you fucking tumblr feminist scum
-Mason Buckleberry, Lawfirm
Who the fuck keeps putting used cups back into the dispenser?
>>676281044
figgured the business went to shit
>>676268427
Hey guys, first day on the job. What are we doing?
