Useless super power thread
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Useless super power thread
>>676215360
The power to be op in any thread
you're always a faggot
>>676215360
The ability to change the color of your kidney
The power to walk on lava.
The power to see upside down without turning your head
The power to able to form clouds in thin air, but they're invisible and won't do anything
The ability to speak to animals. But they don't understand you still
invisibility while not being watched
The power to grow your hair twice as fast during full moon
breathe underwater but only while dry
>>676215360
The power to fuck any dead body in the world. But someone has to watch you
>>676216090
This is quite deep actually
>>676215966
Useless?
Ability to produce glass hammers on command
The power to travel through time, but can only go back two seconds
the power to not know that this power exists within you
everything you touch turns to skittles
>>676216262
Fuckin ey, so would cameras count? Cause then robbery would be a snatch.
>>676215360
healing americans from diabetes
>>676216453
>top kek
The ability to post dank memes, but no one understands them...
>>676216254
How is that useless?
That is the ultimate realization of my biggest fetish
>>676216809
Because you weird piece of shit, someone will be judging you the entire time.
I can move each one of my toes individually
>>676216918
Don't fucking call him a peice oh shit yiu asshole. He didn't say anything offensive to you.be nicer
>>676216453
Good for defense
>>676215360
Having super strength, but only when you are asleep
>>676217061
>>676216960
Kek
The ability to give woman orgasms with my mind.
>>676217056
True, I was being harsh. But its still weird none the less.
>>676217303
funny asf to get a bitch moaning loud in public
also u'd get a reputation for being a sex god
how is that useless
>>676216532
Also takes 2 seconds to cast
>>676218073
so you essencially can freeze time, still usefull
>>676216453
>Gets attacked
>Pull glass hammer out of ass
>Win fight
The power to kill people, but only if you shoot them through your head
able to see in the dark
have to keep eyes closed
>>676218073
>>676216532
>infinite time to think during a test or something
The power to give superpower to other person
>>676219215
Also prolonging an orgasm to infinity
>>676217397
you fold easier than a piece of paper
>>676216701
Ask money for it
>>676215742
>The power to able to form clouds in thin air, but they're invisible and won't do anything
useful when reading things upside down
>>676215762
>the ability to X, but it doesn't do anything
lazy
>>676219460
> gives someone the power that they suddenly give you a power you desire (for example perfect flight) and lose that power upon usage without knowing it themself
this isnt useless, this is OP
>>676215966
I think we all have that one
>>676216193
You can go underwater in an impermeable suit without an oxigen tank.
The power to read any book in 10 seconds, but you retain any knowledge from it for 1 minute.
>>676217090
that's really dangerous actually, wake up with your house torn down and shit
>>676215966
fuck we all have that power
>>676215360
Russia. Russia is a useless super power.
The power to be able to anything you want for 5 seconds but not when you need or want it
The ability to easily reach around your back for scratching, but only if its not itching.
>>676216165
not useless , sell that shit
>>676220236
lets step it up
you can read any book in 10 second, but dont understand any of its content
>>676216808
I live with this power
>>676220354
>anything you want
>you don't want it
>>676218073
casting powers and not spells??!
>>676220236
>read an awesome book
>wait 1 minute
>read that awesome book again, like reading it for the first time
>>676220456
twice as fast is still not very fast, not fast enough to make money from selling it anyway
fucking newfag trying to convey some stupid message
>>676219972
but can you do anything to them?
the power of being an alive poster in /b/
the ability to wipe your ass double as effective but only after clean shits
>>676220661
>I want this to happen now
>happens 5 hours later
>didn't want it to happen
The power of walking doing a moonwalk all the time
the power to know the notes of any instrument, but, you can never learn the musical notes.
laser beams from ears
the power of getting quints whenever you don't need them
The ability to fly while under water
>>676216262
was in the movie mystery men, i think????
the power of breathe while eating/gulping/swallowing
>>676217090
fucking gov't will put ur ass to sleep and mind control shit ...... 9/11 all over again
>>676215360
The ability to dispense paper towel. But only underwater
>>676221754
Yep it was and the character was played by that orange soda loving monkey Kel
>>676221237
Is that rape?
>>676220353
Top kek
>>676221527
a b c d e f g
only works if you don't know english.
The ability to knock off hats by will alone.
>>676222303
guys got something against orange soda, go cola...
command people to do stuff, but only when you die.
>>676217487
Because you need to have sex with her, before she associates you with the orgasms.
Like any /b/tard gets to have sex
>>676215360
>Your eyes are mirrors and everything you see is eyeballs
>>676222599
>knocking off enemy combat helmets as a sniper.
immortality, but only if you die.
>>676222763
what if i told you helmets are not bullet proof.
The power to pull any kind of cash from your pocket, but it disappears the moment someone looks at it.
The ability to jump a little higher than you normally can during blood moons
The ability to get repeating digits whenever you want, but only on boards where no one pays attention to it.
>>676215360
> Fart alot but it dont stink.
The ability to create massive black holes, you'd end up killing yourself.
>>676223028
Then what's the point of helmets?
>>676222853
Watch highlander, suggest another power nigger.
>>676223103
Vending machines don't have eyes.
>>676218748
Underrated kek
The power to turn invisible but only you cannot see yourself (when looking into mirrors)
The power to stop microwaves at the 1 second mark every time.
>>676223489
Speak any language fluently, except the language of the person you are talking to
> the power to fly but you cant choose directions.
>>676216262
do cameras count?
if so rob bank
>>676216532
that could actually be useful
>>676223973
Record it then rewind it to the person.
>>676223860
the power to play any musical instrument well
but you will never get laid
The ability to die if you smile.
conjure up shit stained toilet paper while sitting on the toilet.
>>676224208
So orchestra player?
nice thread fags saved some thx /b/ros
The power to go to 4chan but end up at reddit.
>>676215360
Everyone forgets your existence in it's entirety 1 minute after seeing you.
>>676224024
mfw nigga about to get shot , nope flys away in some retarded pattern
>>676224397
kek
You can expand your jaw and swallow things whole like a snake, but it has to come out as a whole too
>>676216563
lol'ed
>>676224501
Average day for a beta
>>676224501
You can do anything you want as long as you evade people for a minute
>>676224668
This is my fetish.
>>676224501
ultimate spy/ killer/ robber prehaps?
The power to detect sexual orientation of OP in any /b/ thread.
>>676224501
I'll take that, forever rape.
>>676215360
ability to always have ammo for your gun but they're always the wrong caliber
>>676224889
We already have that power
>>676224988
Carry every caliber of weapon
>>676224889
Extreme kekery
>>676225062
Useless ain't it?
>>676225131
But no bullets ? Derp.
Being able to melt steel beam with jet fuel
>>676225131
>carry ever gun from 2mm to .5
>taser cartridges
The power to see traps as girls.
The power to eat shit and shit normal food.
>>676225478
And girls as traps.
The ability to control the squiggles in your eye
The power to call quads but the thread 404's instantly after you do.
>>676225311
bush got that one
>>676225311
Not needed since it was an inside job anyways. Nicely thought.
the power to forward this image to all of your friends
Being able to oil any piece of metal but you have to stick it in your anus afterwards
>>676216453
>glass hammers
>>676216532
>go two seconds back
>repeat in two second increments until you're where you want to be
How is this useless
>>676215360
the ability to run 100x as fast as you do normally, but only with your eyes closed.
The power of xrays but works only on gay men and fat feminists.
The power to stop time, but it stops for you too
>>676226100
implying OP would that one useless
>>676224501
Wasn't there a comic book hero like this? Didn't have friends or family, was in the justice league or something, but they constantly forgot he was part of the team and would attack him thinking he was an intruder all the time?
The ability to die when you are killed.
>>676216090
So once you turn invisible, people can't watch you, right?
Hide once and be gone forever
>>676226100
The power to contain your orgasme but only if you say to her/him i love you.
the power to always get dubs
>>676215633
not useless.
You can kill anything in a single punch, but you lose your arms in a car accident
>>676226695
I love you.
>>676226769
except lava is hot retard
The power to resurrect Hitler
...Wait a sec...
The power to pee blood
>>676226932
You put on a special suit.
>>676227126
Thats no power for me....
>>676215742
Perfect for impressing the ladies playing guitar hero on lefty flip even though you're a righty.
Can talk to dogs
Only after running them over
>>676218748
>my sides
The power to be black but dont like chicken, watermelon, cool aide and has a 1inch penis.
The power to jump twice as high
>Only works for cripples though
You can cure any disease by transferring it to yourself
The power to go back in time 2 seconds
But it takes 3 seconds to cast
>>676226034
Takes three seconds to jump.
>>676216453
>Go outside someone's house
>Proceed to pull out limitless glass hammers
>shatter each hammer on their driveway
>perfect trap
The ability to see through snails
The ability to communicate with cottage cheese, but only when its in your stomach.
The power to get infinite money but you can only use it to donate to black lives matter.
>>676228052
Calls shitting mate.
Power to cry hot sauce
>>676217303
The ability to give women orgasms in my mind. Now that's usele
ss.
>>676216090
security cams, rob a place easy
>>676215360
gliding
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSPe8dIJEtw
>>676223179
i think i may have this power. not sure though.
>>676215360
You can see into the present.
>>676228231
What type of hot sauce?
>>676228264
haha this sad, lonely anon can't even make women cum in his IMAGINATION
ability to turn on lights
The ability sexually assault people, but it must go on YouTube
Got a thick 10 inch dick, wont get hard.
>>676223374
wear a condom, you stupid american piece of shit
>>676228569
Masks mate.
>>676228137
Underrated kek
The power to make America great again.
Being white, turns black when you see a cop.
>>676228137
Just start a black lives matter charity then you have infinite money
>>676229119
Kek.
>>676229111
Checked
>>676229111
trips have spoken
>trump confirmed emperor
>>676222388
do re mi fa sol la si
>>676219102
ive always wondered what my eyelids looks like kek
>>676228609
Lol I'm Canadian faggot.
>>676215360
being able to fold a piece of paper more than 7 times
Ability to see through glass
>>676229656
Lol iam a faggot canadian.
The ability to rewind time with no recollection of rewinding time, or why you did
>>676228609
he cant just do plan b? fuck urself
>>676220156
you´d still die
>>676222065
>Ass to sleep with mind control
>Alex Jones
>faggot with fake newsroom in basement
>>676216547
That's actually a real brainfuck
You smell sound and become deaf
bones made of glass
>>676215360
The ability to instinctively know the location of any crabs within 100 feet of you.
Ability to suck a dick and everybody knows but they still think your straight
>>676229699
it literally explodes if you do that
>>676230107
Best ability ever, you know when your with a dirty bitch.
change the taste of cum in your mouth
>>676230255
Imagine if what happens if you fold it 8 times then...
>>676230361
Thats why i use chewing gum.
I am male.
The ability to kill an entire race, only if each and every one of them fucks you in the ass.
>>676221527
Notes are the same across any instrument, dumbass.
You can lick any puss in the world but she has her period.
>>676229737
Handy for if you want to see through glass
>>676216532
What if you just continuously reversed time though. You could still go back 2 seconds at a time
>>676229111
>Make America Great Again
>9111
Coincidence? I think not
>>676216918
You better be nice to him. He might fuck your corpse.
the ability to know why the chicken crossed the street
You always have a pack of gum with you when someone asks for a piece, but everyone else within a 6-foot radius will also ask for a piece if you offer one.
The power to summon the infinity that is olive garden unlimited breadsticks
>>676215360
Shooting dart arrows from dick
The power of knowing that your post will end in 2407.
>>676216563
Marshawn is that you boss
Sweat pudding
>>676216809
>>676216918
>>676217056
>>676217397
MY FUCKING SIDES
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THIS PLACE
The power of knowing when your going to get dubs
Check Em
>>676223403
Underrated kek
the power to get dubs whenever i want
it could happen anytime
Knowing all the lyrics of every Justin Beiber song.
>>676218073
If I shoot at sum fag and miss I can try agin with the same round
>>676215360
You can teleport only 2 ft in front of you.
Extreme fuckery w/o consequences
Fart in Morse code.
This thread is very fun, don`t let it die pls
The ability to turn any number into 6 million but you're still a jew
The ability to lick peoples nipples clean off
>>676234888
Replace Omlette du fromage with сука блять.
>>676227388
k3k
>>676226053
get human sized hamster wheel generator. close eyes and run ,prob not amazing but not useless
>>676224501
sound like another day in the life
>>676215360
The power to make a sound annoying enough to make everyone look at you in disgust.
>>676224668
you would be the perfect drug mule
>>676223403
not yet
>>676225231
holy fuck, some people
The ability to suck a dick
>>676225671
like, almost useless?
The power to occasionally breathe kinda hard
You have the power to live about 80 years but then you die permanently
>>676233695
teleport through walls
>>676232270
>immediately get free pack of gum upon them asking
>tell them to fuck off
>nobody else asks
I'd take it. Least dangerous power here.
>>676227305
>>676215360
I guess your card incorrectly every time.
take a bath without fapping
>>676236978
Teleport through a wall more than 2 ft. End up getting stuck then dying.
>>676237824
thats a pretty fucking thick wall
>>676233072
Nothing.
>>676217056
He said that he wants the power to do it with any dead body in the world. That pool of bodies includes my mother...
The ability to literally make it rain in the strip club
>>676238774
>useless
Do you not realize how awesome that would be? Strippers are gonna be wearing thing clothes, so a bit of water, and they're instantly see-through. Also, it would be hilarious.
>>676215360
Telekinesis
