be honest with me /b/. is it possible for me to get laid without having to pay for a prostitute? what are my options?
pic related its me
>>676090280
Tell them you're Chumley
>>676090280
Nice lootcrate hat
>>676090554
i dont think that would work now that chumlee is arrested
>>676090280
that loot crate hat will totally slay pussy dude
>>676090280
>We have the same laplander.
>>676090280
5/7 would fuck
>>676090970
>Trap
>>676090280
how much do you weigh?
don't have high standards and you could easily get laid, but man being really big won't make it feel nearly as good.
>>676090280
Cut your hair bro
>>676091118
5'8 240 lbs
i mean is it heard of for a girl to walk out on u if she sees ur dick? i have a small dick but its not that small, lengthwies it's about 3/4 of an iphone erect
but if i get to the point where a girl sees my dick then it's a go right? i mean what are the chances she literally walks out on me
>>676090280
Step one. Shave that fucking disgusting beard, makes you look like an alcoholic honestly.
Step two. Admit that you only have that,because you believe that somewhere, out of nowhere some chick will compliment you for it and you'll be soul mates. Get these fucking delusions of your head. Stop announcing you like pokemon to the world becasue nobody really gives a fuck. Step 3. Dont be a faggot. The end.
>>676091369
yeah it is. usually if a chick does drugs with you shes down. an ugly chick isn't usually superficial. but man stop drinking anything but water and black coffee and begin by walking a bit more and you'll lose some weight and gain some major confidence. chicks dig confidence.
patrol /fit/
>>676091369
>>676090280
Bang someone equivalent to your size. It's very possible m8
What's wrong with hookers?
>>676091611
i tried lifting but i honestly cant handle the DOMs man. cant really cut my diet because im kind of poor and cant afford healthy food and i only get like 700 a month off of welfare.
>>676091809
cant afford them. tried saving up for one but ended up spending the money on a 3ds xl instead
>>676090280
just pay for the prostitute you'll be saving yourself time and money
>>676091369
Seriously, man. It's not impossible. You can still get pussy even at your disposition.
However, it never hurts to lose weight. Walk at least 4 miles a day and you'll be golden in a few months. Shave that fucking dumb beard while you're at it. Don't be a fucking faggot and just talk to women about dumb shit, even video games. You'll see just how easy it is to hook up with a girl if you spit some good game.
>>676090280
Lost some weight, seriously.
When you are fat, people don't se u as human, deal with it.
>>676091751
Exactly. Listen to this guy. Stop having fantasies about "out of your league women". I was once like this, finally asked a 5/10 girl out. Lost my virginity, realized I was being a stubborn bitch the whole and I was actually happy regardless of her looks. Guess what? I broke up with because I thought I could do better...I have been single sincr and,regret now. Realize where you stand, lose a little wieght and,you'll be fine. How old are you even?
>>676091896
da fuq, shit you need to be buying the cheap hookers
>mfw $200 for a single whore is $180 more than i'm willing to pay
>>676092188
29... i just want to lose my v card before i hit 30..
>>676091896
jesus don't be fucking dumb. lifting and cardio is for the soul and body not for losing weight.
literally just eat less. download My Fitness Pal and track EVERYTHING, every little thing, even a single grape and soda for a day and you'll see what you consume is too much.
>>676090280
It is possible without directly paying.
>>676090280
You're totally average-fat, you could get an average-fat gf easy if you had a decent personality and didn't post on /b/
>>676090280
tell a girl you would love to have sex with her. she can't complain or claim it's harassment because it's not an offer or proposition
>>676091751
Fuck off
Absolutely. More than half of getting laid is just being nice, sociable, somewhat attractive, and not being a huge spurg. Do a few curls, stop being an autist, and you'll make it.
>>676092400
Ok man. Go out to a bookstore/coffee shop or wherever girls are. Even if you're nervous just sit down by a slighlty less attractive girl and ask about here,,,hell even say you are looking for friends and,if she likes you it will apparent. But please...before you do so..shave that god damned beard. We are not being,mean but rather giving you advice. I once had a gross fucking beard that food would even becomed trapped inside of it. Honestly for the sake of the post, shave it and post the after math. You arent ugly dude so you will,have success....that beard is holding you back though..
>>676090280
Your overall appearance would make it very hard to take you seriously. Anyways, Id definitely let you sex me, if you cuddled me after :3
Im a terrible slut though -_-
>>676093019
With an attitude like this I can't believe they're not knocking down your door
>>676092400
If you see a girl around your age and weight and also seems kinda shy like you might be go up and talk to her. Ask if she wants to hang sometime and get some digits, the worse that could happen is she says no. So what if she says no, you'll probably never see her again, at this point you have to try and make the most out of every opportunity. Once you lose your v card and get that out of the way I think you will be a lot more confident with yourself.
>>676093297
5'6 146 btw, get rated 7-7.5 pretty regz
Step 1: take off hat and burn it
Step 2: buy a guitar showcase it in your room even if you don't play
Step 3: buy weed and invite a 4/10 to your house to chill and smoke
Step 4: tell story about how you hurt your wrist knocking a dude out cold in a bar because he was harassing one of your female friends and it sucks cuz you can't play guitar for a week until it heals
Step 5: talk about how you play in a metal band (that doesn't exist, create a cool name for it)
Step 6: put on a movie that looks cool but has no plot
Step 7: You should have already said she's very pretty earlier but once she's high make sure you tell her she's hot
Step 8: analyze reaction if she seems horny show her your an alpha man and go in for a kiss
Step 9: if she's into it grab her toys and proceed to fuck her!
>>676093297
Minus the immature Pikachu hat and beard don't you think he'd look a hell of a lot,better? I love Anime but I do not dare tell girls that unless we are seriously close. It just comes off as,childish because people have a biased towards. Nothing really wrong with liking it but making it a part of your appearance makes you like a NEET or otaku.
>>676093747
I meant tits not toys haha
>>676093747
Half of his advice is good. Do not make up stories though, that is fucking retarded. But yeah, doing a minor drug with some ok looking chick may work.
>>676094894
Really original. Wow. Fuck man, so original. Like god dman...the originality.... what is that dudes name again??? Captain Canada??
>>676090280
M8 there is nothing wrong with paying for a pro. I would argue that a pro is a lot cheaper in the end.
There is no such thing as free pussy. You pay for it one way or another.
Shave that shit on your chin.
>>676090280
take off that stupid hat, get off /b/, talk to females
>>676095195
You're sort of right unless its a one night stand.
>>676095186
>>676095463
Nothing wrong with the hat
>>676090280
Here's something a piece of shit like you can do
https://www.youtube.com/user/AlphaMconsulting
JUst fucking do it
>>676093399
He just thinks I am Randy Bobandy, it's chill
>>676095493
Yeah, sometimes. But if you're hitting 30, and you fuck for the first time, there's 0% chance you're going to just let it go and be done with it. You're going to want it again, and again.... And to do that you need to give your time and money to this woman.
Then before you know it, she's taking up all your free time because she doesn't understand the concept of 'alone time', and all your disposable income will go.... somewhere... I don't know where the fuck mine went. And all of a sudden you wish to fucking god that you didn't fall for the pussy trap like you've done before and probably will again.
Pros on the other hand are at least honest about just wanting your money and ask for it. Regular women want all that plus your fucking soul and your freedoms.
OMG its Samwell tarly.
>>676090280
MARKY IS BACK!!!!
MARKY IS BACK!!!!
she's posting on another chan. 4chan mods are banning her from here and any thread we make about it. Report to the last last thread: https://master [remove] chan.org/b/thread/155857 we need more people that chan is dead
>>676096676
I guess you are right. Im 21 so it is hard to understand the perspective of a 29 yeard old. If he really is on welfare it may be best to hire a cheap prostitute....Sad honestly
I think the main thing you should consider after this entire post is that fucking beard though. I hope to fuck you dont actually wear,that hat in public. I acknowledge that I am loser as well but even I would go wtf if i saw someone over the age of ten wearing that. Sorry man.
>>676098890
You know what they say....
>>676090280
That's it. That's fucking it
I don't even know where the fuck to begin... Why do people like you find dead bodies something to joke about? You think because you get to sit in your warm homes on a computer that you can just joke about horrible things like this? What the actual fuck is wrong with you guys? This is very fucked up, yet crazy assfucks like you are posting dead things like it's nothing. Sick fucks, doing this shit does fucking nothing. So you want to come on an imageboard to be an asshole about things like this? Let me tell you guys, you are all fucking weak. You would never be useful to the world with such behavior you present. Honestly why do people like you guys even exist? I bet you don't even know about half of what people have gone through from then till now when they have someone they've known die. You are all such disgusting bullies. Isn't it bad enough that people go through hardships of their loved ones? Seriously what do you guys really find funny about this? Stupid fuckers I'm so angry right now that I wish I can fucking punch my computer screen so that my fist can get a good hit on that asshole face of yours, OP. Sick fucks. Seriously, just fucking grow up and actually act properly about death. Stupid fuck, keep eating those cheetoes that you stain on your shirts every day.
Nice Lootcrate pikachu beanie
>>676090853
Lootcrate? Lootcrate.
>>676093880
Same thing
Honestly, you don't look that bad. Maybe substitute that hat for a plain beanie and trim the beard.
>>676099936
The only dead body id joke about is yours, What the fuck are you on about... fucking bitxh
