-Civilization Thread-
>Valley of Autism
The rules are simple, please read them.
First dubs after update decides on what course of action is taken.
If first dubs is trips or higher then it's also good fortune in addition to the request.
If a post ends in 69 before first dubs, that round is nulled and it is bad fortune for the colony.
With that under way, lets get it started!
OP NEVER LETS THE CIV DIE EASY
>Population: 19
>Resources: 48 (-5 per turn)
>Condition: The people feel powerful
Pepe the frog comes to spread good vibes and deep feels
>>675923912
construct well
Lizard people crucify tesla
Mole genocide
Left moutan is volcano erupts and kills attackers but does not burn the corn they brought with them
feminist attacks the village
increase resource efficiency (less resources need to be used for more)
If Satanic Trips, Matthew Mcuckonelly from Interstellar shows up and Fucks all the female babies, then gets in his spaceship with all the lizardmen and goes to back to his infinite bookcase and has orgy that lasts 17 lightyears, THEN they all go back to the freshl ripe 18 year olds left on the planet and they all sacrifice themselves to Satan, which causes Him to appear with all 7 dragon balls and goku shows up and kills him, then wishes back all the people of the planet. This continues infinitely until the planet has literally no more room and everyone dies from global warming.
Shoulda listen to leonardo dickaprio
Also cum farm.
The lizard people really really like this image
>>675923912
Qt trap god pls
Beta kills non humans and burns down statue and becomes God Emperor
>>675924352
reroll
>>675923912
Enslave the moles
>>675924203
Roll
>>675923912
ROCKS FALL, CIVILIZATION DIES
trump is elected
Rains blood moutan on right disappears
>>675923912
plant corn
>>675924352
rereroll
>>675923912
Everyone begins sucking each others cocks
Beta becomes a werewolf and kill everyone
STDs kill everyone except beta and babbies
>>675924126
Roll
>>675924352
rerereoll
A mighty god starts looking out for the village it is most pleasing him, he starts to take care of them
>>675924281
Reroll satanic trips. Ty blessed satan
>>675924416
Reroll
Sink hole under monument
Beta becomes a school shooter and kills everyone
>>675924555
Winrar
>>675924555
winrar
>>675924555
check'd
>>675924281
Rwroll
>>675924555
Winrar
>>675924555
holy shit nigger
>>675924555
noice
alien invasion
>>675924368
Lol this was kg idea last thread, rolling for v2
everyone becomes serb and then go to remove kebab
ethnic cleansing
The people make a great wall around their city
>>675924820
rolling
A nigger appears and rapes everyone
>>675925051
Shamefully rolling
>>675924281
Roll
Build a wall and keep the neighboring Mexican s out
>>675924555
Pepe the frog comes to spread his feels and vibes. The Civ converts to Pepe-ism in honor, and forget about Ivan.
+50 to resources!
>Population: 19
>Resources: 98 (-5 per turn)
>Condition: They feel rare
>>675925243
Roll 4 trump
one dies
Settlement is Sean on horizon....only to be destroyed when the mountain it was on vanishes revealing a lake and ...
>>675925273
Enslave the moles
>>675924352
Rerererereoll
>>675925273
pepe becomes a prophet and is worshipped by all
they proclame fascism
>>675925243
Roll
>>675924352
Rererererereeroll
>>675925273
we build a wall to protect ourselves from exiles of lesser tribes that need work
Hitler is born
>>675925243
This
>>675924352
rererererroll
>>675925493
kek this
Smoke is Sean in distance and the screaming of watermelons can be heard
>>675925243
Dubs
>>675924352
reeeroll
Tesla is crusified as a false prophet in favor of pepe
>>675925243
Do this
>>675925617
roll
>>675924352
reeeeeroll
Tesla make new creation....
slavs attacks the town
>>675925617
Roll
>>675925243
Rollin
>>675925677
huhuhu winrar
>>675925677
fuck you
>>675925677
Winrar faggot
the night comes and everyone goes sleepy sleepy and die through food poisoning
>>675925733
winrar
>>675925744
Winrar
>>675925677
Pepe is already god.
There is no higher god than pepe
"Oh Lord Pepe, amfibian ascended, hear my pleas and cries for meme-y advice." Becomes standard issue prayer. And they have to pray 9 times a day.
All babies in the first generation are born with dicks for legs
>>675925273
ISIS arrives and start blowing shit up
>>675924798
Off by one, that's some intense niggery
>>675925922
Dubs cancel win dubs out
>>675925744
Wiiner
>>675925922
dubs of truth
>>675925273
All 1st born children are fags
>>675925617
Reroll
>>675925273
All but one of the men are killed by vicious animals, and the only survivors are all the women and a single man, who is a lanky NEET
>>675923912
everyone dies fuck you faggots
Build the goddamn winrar wall you nigger
miyamoto is born and make silent hills
The lizard people get ereptile dysfunction from all of the constant cum-milking. They are forced to take a break for 4 rounds.
Trips makes op faster at drawing pixels on mspaint
>>675925677
I'm not really sure what that means but...
QT trap god appears and takes a liking to Trap God Tesla.
>Population: 20
>Resources: 92 (-6 per turn)
>Condition: faggots
everyone is onions
Ivan kills Pepe
They build a giant swastika to summon Lord Hitler
Dead puppies roll down from the mountain tops...the screaming of apples can be heard...Tesla has idea for bodys
Tidal waves of cum wash over the valley, making harvests flourish. Soon after, a sexy giantess appears and fucks all the tiny humans while eating the leftover cum all over the place. The cum must have been from the giantess's chad bf. Lets hope he doesnt come around...
>>675926616
Qt trap god destroys the universe.
>>675926616
>assuming resources = food
forage for seeds to start a farm!
everyone is shallots
>>675926781
rerolll
>>675926797
rereoll
Hahahahah http://youtu.be/jkxzgB_tqlw
>>675924368
Reroll
>>675926781
rereroll
Tesla kills trap with electricity
>>675926811
winrar
>>675926616
Jews come and crucify tesla claiming he is a false profit
>>675926811
...winrar?
>>675926811
Winrar
>>675926811
>shallotskek
a group of lost lolis comes by the town
>>675926781
roll
>>675926869
rip
build the wall and make autism valley great again
The lizard people get ereptile dysfunction from all of the constant cum-milking. They are forced to take a break from cumming for 4 rounds.
>>675926811
shallot race
>>675926811
Suddenly
Right where everyone is standing...
everyone is turned into a shallot.
what the hell does that even mean.
????
>Population: 0
>Resources: 98 (stagnant)
>Condition: Onion May Cry
PEPE TOO? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ivan kills pepe.
>>675927362
>onion may cry
kek
Tesla gets an idea to revert everyone back to human form....the screaming of plums can be heard
>>675927500
WASTED DUBS EVERYONE KILL THIS FAGGOT
>>675927362
mfw my family is a shallot graveyard
>>675927362
pepe turns shallots to wine
>>675927362
Wetbacks eat all the shallots but still ask for foodstamps
>>675927362
A herd of starving shallot-eating deer wander into the valley
>>675927500
What a waste
>>675927362
The statue of Ivan comes to life and heads out, looking for a new village
>>675927362
Another qt trap god appears.
Everyone becomes Muslim
>>675927600
Winrar
Tesla was away and was not transformed and reverts everyone to human form including lizard and mole pepole
>>675927600
winrar
it's over right?
>>675927362
The statue of Ivan becomes alive then cums all over the shallots, turning them into robots.
>>675927622
Win?
a mountain explodes
>>675925486
ROLL
Elect Adolf Hitler as supreme leader.
Wait is everyone dead because they are onions
>>675927586
Pepe is shallot
>>675927600
Wetbacks eat all of the shallots.
They find the camp comfy, but there's evidence that people used to live here.
They also want food stamps, but can't find any out here.
>Population: 3
>Resources: 98 (+3 per turn)
>Condition: Yo quiero shallot-bell.
Hitler appears and turns all the shallots into Schutzstaffel soldiers
Teslas emergency clone pods deploy they kill all the Mexicans with only light losses the village is now populated by 20 teslas
>>675928096
Onions are living creatures too you CIS mesogynistic scum
The wetbacks begin to worship ivan
>>675928289
Accept me
>>675928288
winner is you
/k/ conquer the town
>>675928288
Winrar right outta the gate
>>675928244
Suddenly 14 settlers arrive with 600lb of fresh food and 100lb of spiked dildos
>>675927600
Winrar
>>675928288
But there is no shallots
>>675927622
A tribe of redpilled Nordic people discover the ruins of the village and settle, raising Ivan as the fuhrer
>>675925617
Rolling
its raining doritos
>>675928288
B-but the shallots are already eaten by werbacks
>>675928244
seig heil
>>675928244
Chinaman sets up shop in town and makes customers feel uncomfortable by encouraging them to snort shallots of of his erection
>>675928402
Roll
>>675928555
trips have spoken
>>675928537
The shallots are in their stomachs, so they get rekt.
>>675928537
The wetbacks puke them
>>675928244
wetbacks build a wall to keep their economy stable
>>675928648
Spoken in the name of Hitler dubs, I'm assuming?
sandniggers invade
Take a smart course of action and start building shitty beaner-huts
>>675929082
Re-Roll
wetbacks create economy based on donkey shows, become most powerful nation in known world
wetbacks steal all jobs from one another
>>675928288
Hitler himself makes an appearance.
He uses his German powers to restore the shallots into human. But they will be his personal bodyguards. The wetbacks explode in a gorey mess.
One soldier's head hurts and he's dizzy, so hitler tries to help him. This is now a concentration camp.
>Population: 21
>Resources: 98 (-15 per turn)
>Condition: Michael Jordan stache
everyone is sandwiches
Hitler demands the soldiers pledge their allegiance to ivan
Ayy lmaos with tentacles take over the village and create a new porn studio
>>675928892
roll
they build a giant swastika
>>675929280
nazis become shallots
>>675929280
the shallot soldiers decide to celebrate hannukah
>>675929280
Big brother america under the leadership of god king trump once again swoops in and kicks the krauts for the 3rd time
They have a bukake party on hitler. Hitler loves it.
They start invading the cloest tribe wich is poland for more resources
get nuked by gandhi
>>675929555
WINRAR
>>675929280
grows superfarm +1000 resources
>>675929555
winrar
>>675929555
Fucking kek. Winrar
>>675929555
winrar
>>675929555
winrar, cool memes
Mountains all disappear
>>675929555
That was fast. Winrar
>>675929635
reroll
>>67592928
Donald Trump comes and builds a wall to keep the Jews in
>>675929596
>civfag detected
>>675929711
WINRAR
A flood washes through the land carrying various useless objects
>>675929555
winrar
Hitler puts all the shalotte soldiers in the oven and bakes until golden
>>675929635
roll
>>675930039
Re roll
>>675930111
WINZIP
>>675930111
Winrar
Hitler decrees that from this day forward sexual intercourse is banned and instead everyone has to fap
>>675929555
The soldiers celebrate Hannukah.
Hitler is infuriated, and kills himself for having such a shitty force.
They are blessed with more resources.
>Population: 19
>Resources: 104 (-14 per turn)
>Condition: Shallom Shallot
Stalin invades the camp with 50 soldiers
Ultra giga niga appears. Hitler kills him and uses his meat as food and his bones as wood
>>675930359
peace ensues and the modern era begins
trump is ellected
>>675930359
The soldiers take turn fucking hitler corpse and from it, each of them gets pregnant
>>675930511
7zip
>>675930511
Winrar
greedy jews immediately use up all the resources for themselves
>>675930359
Lord Yeezus himself spits fire from heaven, killing the colony
>>675929680
Reroll
>>675929280
King autismo appears and spreads autism
>>675930511
>>675930669
blocked by trump
MAGA
Niggers invade raping all the women
>>675930881
Roll
>>675930881
roll
>>675930921
Roll
>>675930881
More roll
>>675930511
The Soldiers got together and decided to vote for Trump. He made the election and they remodeled the Ivan statue to be more fitting.
Hitler's ghosts looks on, actually being at peace for not being alive.
>Population: 19
>Resources: 90 (-14 per turn)
>Condition: They feel great again
>>675930359
The soldiers make a poor harvest (-35 resources) because they're to busy killing Jews to farm
The Wetbacks return and declare war against the Shallot Reich.
>>675930881
Roll for autismo
>>675931156
Hitler is resurrected
build the wall!!!
>>675931175
Rolling for Autismo vs. Wetbacks
>>675931156
the settlement is ransacked by barbarians from the east
>>675931271
Roll
Systematic suicide
>>675931271
Roll
everyone becomes shota
>>675931336
Rolling for the Glorious Wall Of Autism
Quarter of the population are actually institute synths
Farm cattle
>>675931271
Reroll
everyone kills themselves
All of their anus' prolapse
Hitler returns from the moon with ultrasoldat army, Trump pisses himself and runs away.
>>675930669
Imma roll for this again since I got cockblocked by El Trumpo
Autismo comes along and trump is overthrown by sonichu
>>675931156
BUILD THE WALL!
BUILD THE WALL!
Also Pink Floyd comes to commemerate the construction of said wall.
>>675931156
Soldiers transform into wetbacks
Neo-nazis invade and starts indiscriminately killing.
Build giant penis statue out of bronze
>>675931565
reeeeeeroll
>>675931621
Roll?
everyone becomes shallots
>>675931644
Winrar
>>675931665
Off by one... Re-rolling for Pink Floyd and the wall.
everyone becomes onions
>>675931644
Rip
Winrar
everyone is garlic
God King Autismo appears
>>675931665
ALL IN ALL ITS JUST A... NOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL
>>675931156
get rid of the niggers
trump statue cums blood, it's time for war
>>675931922
winrar, praise god king autismo
>>675931966
WINRAR!
Everyone gets gassed.
>>675931644
The newjews use all of the resources.
Idiotic.
Also there's still a necronomicon lying there.
I'm getting tired lol
>Population: 19
>Resources: 0(-19 per turn)
>Condition: You're not you when you're hungry
esque porque, porque tienen que ser tan egoistas y tener que sobresaltar su presencia, desagradable presencia, no tiene nada de orgulloso ser mexicano, al menos ser un puto corrupto o alguien adinerado que supere el promedio mierda de vida mexicano, pero probablemente ni eso son, asi que porque no mejor hacer lo mas razonable y dejar atras su estupida "identidad nacinal" yo soy mexicano y no me enorgullece nada, por algo todo aqui es anonimo, dejense de mierda y vayanse al puto facebook a chingar que son mexicanos o hacer las tipicas estupideces de estos, haganse el favor a ustedes y a todos, por eso espero que trump gane, porque los idiotas mexicanos siempre estan hablando mierda de los gringos incluso sin saber lo que dicen y nomas alguien famoso(futuro presidente) les dice sus verdades y le hechan su mierda, que decepcionante para la raza humana son
>>675924281
Holy shit, im re-rolling that bitch!!!!
trump statue comes to life and uses the shallot soldiers as sex toys for his everlasting bum, amen
>>675932283
wut
>>675923912
OP needs to update faster
the newjews read from the torah/necronomicon to bring the trump statue to life... he then uses them to build a luxury building
>>675932251
asteroid comes and destroys them all, save for the secret underground colony of crab people
ninja lolis atacks the village
>>675932251
Make a terra-cotta temple to Trump
>>675932251
blame it on the niggers and kill them
>>675932251
Bob Ross flies in from overhead and uses his magical painting powers to give more resources
>>675932251
LOOKS LIKE THERE'S SOME FREE REAL ESTATE OP
>>675932600
Qt Winrar
>>675932600
kek winrar
Gaben gives the wonderful steam sale to the village
jews burn necronomicon in a book burning rally... the smoke from the burning tome brings trump statue to life and he is hungry for cum
>>675932660
Roll
>>675932600
holy fuck
>>675932600
HAHAHAH, winrar
>>675932694
Rolling it
>>675932600
fucking gay
God King autismo appears and uses necronomicon to raise autistic army
the newjews find a gay among them, they execute him by burning him at the stake
>>675932677
Ah shit those were mine... USE MY DUBS... FOR NINJA LOLIS WITH... SHOTA SAMURAI
SUDDENLY THE MEGAZORD FALLS FROM THE SKY AND WREAKS HAVOC AMONG THE CIV, DESTROYING EVERYTHING, AND CHOOSES 5 SPECIAL PEOPLE TO BE THE NEW POWER RANGERS
>>675932923
rawl
>>675932600
King autismo seduces the lolis whilst wearing his finest fedora
build farms put research into science procreate and kill trump replace with a community government
>>675932251
They breed like niggers and have lots of nigglets. Then a huge cock god ascends down and forces all the villagers to sit on it.
>>675933056
reroll
>>675932923
Jesus fucking christ, roll
>>675933044
my sides, they are gone
