Will be ordained Roman Catholic priest in 12 months. Ask me anything.
Do you believe in God?
>>675674076
Yes.
>>675674171
Are you sure I mean it's not a deal breaker. You don't have to believe in God to have sex with teenage boys.
Congrats and thanks for giving a shit.
>>675674438
I'm not attracted by them.
Why do you steal men's souls and make them your slaves?
>>675674923
Because Our Lord told us: “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
>>675675102
Your false idol
>>675674861
Then why the fuck do you want to be a priest?
>>675673868
How the fuck has a man of God been led here?
>>675675337
Probably the CP
>>675675370
top fucking kek
>>675675254
Because my mentor priest once beat the sheeeeeittt out of a nignog drugdealer. My hero.
>>675675102
but beef...
>>675675181
My false idol was my PS3.
Sold it and bought a cassock.
>>675673868
at what point are you allowed to put your penis in alter boys?
>>675675337
When you see a true man, you want to grow like him.
>>675673868
You have to say Mass and do like five other prayers every day, right? Are you mindful each and every time you do them, or is it easy to just say the words and zone out, like I do with the rosary?
>>675673868
what a fag
i bet you even think that your "enlightened"
you are as bad at the edge lords
>>675675545
Beef is only the cooked one.
BTW you aren't allowed to become a priest if you are addict to -erm- human beef.
>>675675632
My penis is only devoted to pissing in the toilet.
How many choirboys penises do you think you'll touch in your time as a priest?
To the nearest 10 is fine
Yahweh is but a singular whiny fear based diety in the whole scope of entities to worship.
>worshipping a God who kills his own creations for any reason, saying he is all powerful but couldn't create a universe with no evil, and even when he did make one with evil he never undid it the moment he would have known he made a mistake
Have fun being disappointed when you die.
Not saying there are no gods but what a shitty choice you made lol.
>>675673868
Evolution
/thread
>>675675708
Add rosary as well, plus extras.
>>675673868
What are your homilies gonna be like? Are you more interested in studying and interpreting the passages for people, or do you prefer to link their personal, modern problems to the gospel?
>>675673868
how many shota threads do you make on a daily basis
>>675675881
so you piss on alter boys and call them toilets?
Why not just accept that your gay and spare the choirboys the expensive therapy bills?
>>675673868
Do you know Jared Fogel?
>>675675888
I don't want to touch gross things.
BTW altar boys are mostly a nuisance.
>>675675888
I'd probably go with nearest 100 to keep it as a relatively round number?
>>675675893
And if it was you the wrong one?
>>675676047
op here
i make all of them my child
>>675675888
Checked
>>675673868
Diddled any kids yet? Is it a part of studies in the roman catholic seminary?
>>675673868
What do you think about women in necessary Mass roles? My dad can't handle female sacristans or lectors, since they're in Christ's role. I was chill, until we put on a Passion reconstruction/Stations of the Cross and 9/12 of the disciples were little old ladies.
ITT: Cliché molestation jokes
>>675676034
Will be short.
Absolutely no need to make people yawn ten times per minute.
>>675676242
Choirboys. Not altar boys.
Alter boys are sluts and we both know it's no fun when they want it
>>675676047
Shota is for gays, and I'm not gay.
>>675676588
But it's funny because they're true
Honest question here OP.
Do you seriously take the bible as word? You cant honestly believe that one deity made the world, exiled his only creations, and condoned the amount of incest that supposedly created the human race.
>>675676732
How many priests do you know IRL?
>>675676110
Too lazy to google that.
>>675676871
I know a lot of them. Most of them are specced Disc though.
>>675673868
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Enquiring minds want to know.
>>675676871
36. I'm a young looking rentboy
>>675676054
>>675676091
>>675676309
Mr. Altar Boy, are you trying to reach soon the post limit?
>>675676413
Apparently the kid is farting.
>>675677015
250 only to go there is
>>675676484
Only touched rosaries, cassocks, breviaries and similar stuff.
>>675677015
>>675676563
Your dad is right. There are no necessary Mass roles. Liturgy is not a show, does never require additional players.
Do you feel proud joining an organization that has a history of systematically molesting children, torturing blasphemers, invading foreign lands and forcing them to convert or die?
Do you realize it's like joining the Nazi Party?
>>675673868
Are you braced to start hearing confessions from freaky MILFs?
>>675674105
The one in the back there, looks like he's ready to HATEFUCK some poor altarboipucci
>>675676638
There are choir girls as well. But touching them means betraying the Church. Remember 6th and 9th Commandments.
>>675675254
so that he can fuck PREteen boys of course.
>>675677463
Yeah, but the 11th says "If thou shalt violate 1-10, thou shalt not get caught."
>>675673868
Fuck the catholic church, and fuck your god
There is no divine being watching over humanity, there is no after life
Religion is but a sad reminiscence of the dark ages of mankind when ignorance and superstition ruled over men.
Cast aside the idols and embrace the light of science. Have you noticed how the most religious countries in the world are also the most poor and underdeveloped
Thank your god for that, asshole
>>675673868
OP, there's a question here you're ignoring.
>>675676851
What's the pay like?
Manass potential aside.
>>675676242
They allows girls to serve at the altar now too you know. How long before you're saying to your confessor "I carry a torch for the little girls carrying the candles."
>>675673868
This isn't the place for you, go read the bible. This is the house of the devil, sheep in wolfs clothing
>>675676851
No.
Bible was written in a poor language for illiterated shepherds and fishers.
Large parts of the Bible are definitely boring - battles, ridicolously detailed stories located in yet unknown places.
"True" does not mean "exact in every detail".
It's true that one deity made the world (even a sincere atheist cannot reasonably deny that the world didn't invent itself).
Exile, illness, death, are actually a product of sin.
The supposed incest is not present in the Genesis book. There's only a narrative "jump".
>>675676871
More than 100, including a few ones who left priesthood, and a gay one who was arrested after stealing vintage stuff.
>>675678210
So poor writing and lots of convenience?
Meh, Tolkien did it better
>>675676953
Nothing wrong. I just followed my heroes. Who happened to be priests instead of rappers or pornstars.
How old were yo when you realized you were gay?
How many little boys have you already molested?
what do you know of the struggle at the top of the church hierarchy ? are catholics in danger of their church being subverted by forces trying to dismantle it and use it as one of their extensions? or maybe they have already succeeded?
>>675677354
What "organization systematically molesting torturing invading forcing etc" are you talking about? Masonry? Military-industrial complex? Bilderberg? Trilateral? Mossad?...
Roman Catholic Church always condemned violence, molesting, and so on.
>>675678210
What is your opinion of Islam?
>>675678210
Which is left open to interpretation in that 'Narration jump' you're talking about. In what is known as 'Lost excerpts' or parts of the bible removed and covetted by the vatican, there were others outside of eden. Outcasts and failed attempts at mankind. Sinners, and demons. The only other options for procreation would be those that god had turned away from. If there is no incest spoken of, then they would be the only logical option for man's growth from then on. That would mean we are interbred with beings that aren't in gods light, and he would forsake us for it.
TL:DR - We bred with niggers, and now god doesn't love us no more, no matter how much we try to kiss his arse.
>>675677362
Kek. They would always confess the same things. After the first dozen, I'll just start yawning.
>>675677426
You watch too many gay pr0n videos.
>>675679051
Now that's a god I want to worship
Fucking asshole
>>675677697
"Not getting caught" does not mean "being innocent".
pic related
>>675679182
Too many? Is there such a thing? I don't believe you.
>>675677756
There are too many things science can't explain.
Our technology allowed us landing on a comet and still we have a long way to fight old and new illnesses.
>>675673868
How many boys do you plan to fuck?
>>675679282
Of course it does. It's only illegal if he gets caught doing it. And once he goes to confession, and says his couple hail mary's and few our father's his soul is clean too, and he can go back to rapeytime with the kids in the white vestments.
>>675677984
Depends on the diocese and on the assigned parish. Generally speaking it's lower than medium wage (I'll be earning less than a clerk).
Note that in a large parish, parish priest gets less money because it is expected he will get more personal donations from parishioners.
>>675678116
Oh, I'm scared.
>>675678478
Tolkien readers were (and are) not illiterate.
>>675679513
Science is in constant progress, of course we don't have the knowledge and technology for many things yet
Your religion has stayed the same for over 3000 years. That is no way to advance humanity
>>675673868
Why are you wasting your life? There are so many more productive things you can do, and you choose to spread something you can't even confirm.
>>675673868
>>675673868
>>675673868
what is your opinion of islam
>>675678685
I'm not gay.
I never molested anyone.
Maybe this is because I'm not a porn addict.
>>675680369
opinion on islam?
>>675680084
That was not the point
I just made a lame joke
>>675679916
How many boys do they allow you to fuck before you get fired?
>>675678882
It's somewhat embarassing that struggle.
>>675679916
So then, priests just pocket them collection plate monies, or some of it anyhow? Hmm. I guess that makes sense.
>>675680369
dude will u chirp islam or no
>>675679019
It's just wrong.
But because of "ecumenic" reasons, I can't say it loudly...
>>675673868
Do you think you will ever be the pope?
Be a different kind of hero, rape kids' butts
>>675680752
Yeah he's legit guys
>>675679051
You are talking as if the Bible was the exact log file of something.
Bible was written in some 1500 years, by many different people (for example, there are at least three differen Isaiah authors), for many different kind of audiences.
>>675680590
>Rabbi, priest and imam walk into a bar
>What to do with the money we get from collection?
>Priest; I draw a big cross on the ground and toss the collection plate up
>Whatever alnds in the cross is god's and I keep the rest.
>Imam; I do the same but I draw a big crescent on the floor.
>Rabbi; Well I toss it all in the air and whatever god catches he can keep
>I then simply take the rest.
>>675679759
No one. Don't like males.
Not even a woman, because I'll have to live in chastity.
>>675681197
Do you masturbate? Be honest
>>675681197
May I suggest Orthodoxy?
A wife is highly recommended and mad slavs got ur back
>>675680093
It's actually less than 2000 years. Always the same.
That is: people living 30, 130, 1530 years ago, were not fooled.
>>675681197
Who plans the inquisition raids?
>inb4 nobody excpects the spanish inquisition
>>675680111
I don't have to be a pharmachemist to tell you that aspirine is good.
>>675680561
why dont you agree that that Francis have a too liberal approach to the churches doctrine? if this goes on we will see transwomen gay bishops. that struggle is real and among the lay people too. some times i think that the lefebvrists are right and the they introduced the vatican II not for the benefit of the catholics.
>>675681569
bump
>>675673868
Will you marry fags?
>>675677756
*Tips foreskin*
>>675673868
i was raised catholic, became agnostic around 13
I like the music, and the buildings still. but most catholic churches in my city are like country clubs.
I want to find a black church to go to so i can clap my hands and dance around
my question to you is. Will you please learn some type martial art and go around kicking ass in Jesus name?
(i dont identify as christian but J.C. was a jive turkey. He hooked it up for the poor and lame, and preached forgiveness and understanding for all mankind, that choice thrashmaster Jeezey Chrizzy. )
if you truely see a sinner and he becomes hostile with you, I mean the bibes is all about smiting shit.
>>675680259
>>675680457
A false religion.
The most funny example is the 72 virgins thing.
>>675681798
Celibacy means he's not marrying anybody, fag or otherwise.
>>675680534
Not even one.
If someone goes to the bishop with a vaguely credible accuse, the priest gets fired.
>>675681987
well DUH but I want HIM to say something not YOU.
>>675682163
Why not become a badass Orthodox priest?
>>675681862
>a black church to go to so i can clap my hands and dance around
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TBhmVsx-WM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsPthB5phrE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHZcw2EWMCo
>>675680590
A priest doesn't have an actual need to save money.
I don't have a college debt and won't have most of the family living expenses, and cannot waste my money in beer, videogames and drugs.
>>675680758
More than 400,000 priests in the world.
A new pope happens every 1-5-15-25 years.
You do the math.
>>675674923
Dude you're confused, this is not Vlad.
>>675673868
Do you jerk your dick off and how often?
>>675682618
a /b/tard pope... now that'd be exciting
>>675681292
Nope. Honest.
>>675682427
Don't you feel like you need to play videogames and stuff to keep up with today's youth?
An old chapelain (kapelaan in dutch, don't know the proper translation), wrote a book titled, twittering to god, basically summarising questions today's youth has about god and the church.
>>675682618
So you lack the faith to believe you could help the church by becoming the pope.
Matthew 7:7
Matthew 8:26
>>675682765
cyka blyat man just answer the question
>>675682303
>>675681411
Orthodoxy is wrong (schism).
And you are telling me to give up on one of my most appreciable benefits: not having a wife, (and not having a mother-in-law).
>>675682949
yea but you get street cred nobody messes with orthodox priest they mean business catholic priests just get bad rep
>>675682427
I remember a priest that smoked cigars and another one that collected baseball cards.
Do you have a hobby that you might spend on?
>>675681569
Inquisition was like fighting feminazis, SJWs, wannabe terrorists (for example, Cathars put churches on fire).
>>675681640
I actually agree more than you thing. But if I openly say it, they won't let me become a priest.
>>675683352
then i see what you mean. god help us all.
>>675681798
Nope.
BTW, why fags actually crave so much to be married?
Pls help me answer an age old question guys
http://strawpoll.me/7175256
>>675681862
Liturgy is not a show.
I don't have time to learn martial arts.
I would defend myself from any "hostile sinner", as long as this does not create other problems.
And I would gladly attack anyone molesting weak people.
>>675684258
>I don't have time to learn martial arts.
Every church I went to has had a basement or a gym. Just hand up a heavy bag and get to punching. Everyone has down time. Even priest
>>675682170
Any anonpriest would tell you the same thing: islam is definitely wrong, like buddhism, induism, shintoism and everything other.
All of the "religions" were actually man-made. That is, they claim to show you the way to God, or something like that.
Christianity happened because Christ told he was the Son of God, that is, God himself.
I - and another billion people - believed Him. Either Jesus made the most perfect hoax of all human history, or He was absolutely right.
I go for the latter.
Hint: Pharisees didn't say the miracles did not happen. They only protested that miracles happened on Saturday...
>>675682664
Nope.
It appears that some of you don't know that there exists people that don't actually fap.
