4 months into a serious depression binge. finally starting to really consider killing myself. so much has happened.
what the fuck do i do from here?
>>675641888
bump for my trips
>>675641888
Well i have never had a depression but when i want to get high (and happy) i mountainbike. Give it a try you might like it and mountainbikers are nice people :D.
dont do it you fucker
< 38 > My present :) http://www17.zippyshare.com/v/eYapRNjL/file.html
I seriously am going to kill myself today. I'm going to jump in front of a bus but I wish I had a better method for a poor carless fuck like me
>>675641888
its because you subconsciously want to punish yourself.
when you not having an anxiety attack look into meditation and practices that still that voice in your head driving you mad.
best cure for anything is meeting ne people who break your para-dime of how things work.
not everyone are cunts and not everyday is the same unless you make it.
>>675642624
Meant train. I don't really give a fuck today
>>675642624
i feel you bro. i live close to nyc so i have my choice of bridges. either that or hanging. i hate that im even talking about this shit.
>>675642630
thanks
>>675643060
been a long 4 months
>>675643126
but a blur at the same time. hard to explain.
>>675642805
Hanging sounds to painful. I wish I had a tall enough bridge near me. I'm in NY but not by the city. I'm also not jumping into water fuck that. Train just seems to be the best method. I can't wait to be fucking dead. I wish I was dead right fucking now. If you don't you probably just need help
>>675641888
Depends where you live. You American?
>>675643256
definitely need help but help takes so long. i dont even know how im going to make it to the next hour. nobody knows besides this thread either.
Do you want someone to talk to?
>>675643515
You don't want to die. Just get a good therapist get some meds and move forward. Start now, it's what you're going to end up doing
>>675643717
got started on it yesterday but we're talking a month or so before i can even be seen. makes the interim period a huge cloud of what the fuck.
ANYONE WHO WANTS TO KILL THEMSELVES: Please just try smoking pot first (if you haven't). It will make you so happy and if you feel like you have nothing to lose then why not try it at least once? Go in your backyard at night if you're afraid of being caught.
Before I got caught smokingat the park like a dumbass, I was the happiest I've ever been.
My friend had tried to jump off a bridge and along with his counceling and medication (which he said didn't help a super lot) he started smoking with me and it was the greatest time in his life, he felt better even when he wasn't high.
Now can anyone help a poor fuck with no car kill himself fucking quickly please? The train scares me so I'd rather do something else but I'll fucking do it otherwise
Care to elaborate what has happened? People can't diagnose you unless you give a little more info'.
>>675643875
smoked pot almost everyday for the last 5 years. it hasnt been helping the last week or two. liqour either. i can usually cope. ty.
>>675643929
Please refer to >>675643875
>>675641888
If you really have a serious depression, get help from a licensed doctor or therapist. Seriously, get help. You can get out of this, but you need someone to show you how.
Besides, depression is as serious an medial ailment as breaking your legs. Why would you not go to a doctor after breaking your fucking legs?
>>675643843
It's worth the wait anon. I only just got to speak to a therapist last week, after a couple of months of waiting. Only had an assessment appointment - it's all done by phone - but it's already given me some pretty big revelations about my actions, and why I feel the way I do.
>>675643875
Fuck off
>>675643956
Maybe try a T-break? You will have more money for a little bit and get super roasted when it's done.
>>675644039
Why are you so mad about it guy
>>675644023
I'be smoked weed forever I don't give a fuck about it I just want to fucking die and end my disgusting miserable life
>>675643956
What's your social life like? I went through a serious bout of depression before, got borderline suicidal. But then I surrounded myself with good people, with similar interests and personality and all that craic. Might be a bit of a simple answer but it helps a lot.
>>675644026
truth. i guess i dont think people see it that way.
>>675644039
just dont know how im going to make it through the day. to make it to the time to get better.
>>675644251
ive definitely withdrawn myself over the last few months. really thought thats what i wanted. i still kind of do but i dont know. to be honest i dont want to tell my friends about this shit. its too real.
>>675641888
>>675641888
Go be used by your tall friend from your last job. His cock needs serviced, and his wife needs cucked. I promise not to leave any marks when I tie you up.
>miss ya
>>675643875
Want to reiterate: the counseling did help but this was at a time where the medication was not helping after 6 weeks and before he switched his medication to one that did.
>>675642199
>>675642100
>>675641888
>>675644404
yummy digits
>>675644314
Just do everything you can to keep yourself busy and keep your mind occupied. Whatever it takes. Something mentally stimulating, or something that just helps pass the time. Games, books, films, or you could try learn a new language or something. You've just got to keep busy - get busy living, or get busy dying.
>>675641888
get dubs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGwFZj3YPwY
>>675644741
appreciate the advice bro just conflicted on which direction im getting busy in. the severity comes and goes but the past few days i just go on these 5-10 hour anxiety trips where anything is possible.
>>675644404
Yeah, I told a few close friends at the time and it spread like wildfire, had people I barely knew telling me they couldn't stop thinking about me and all this shit, one girl said she's even tell my parents if I didn't tell them first. I don't think it's about telling your friends, just being a group that actually goes out and has fun. Make yourself busy and give yourself something to look forward to. Easier said than done, I know, but it's key to getting over depression.
>>675643256
you're a selfish prick if you jump in front of a train, the driver will have to live with that for the rest of his life
>>675644251
This.
Also, 'bout ye?
>>675642624
>>675642805
you guys don't have a knife? Jumping in front of a train will ruin some other people's days.
>>675644911
It's cool man, it's not easy. If nothing else, just do your best to remind yourself that when you do eventually get seen it'll be worth the wait, rather than just ending it now. You'll be thankful when it comes round.
One thing I found useful, especially when I got depressed about stuff I was trying to learn is to write down motivating stuff. It may sound corny, but it kinda helped. Like I wanted to learn the violin, and I was really struggling with it and it got me really down (along with everything else). So I'd write stuff on my stand like "No one got better without practice" or "The best players made just as many mistakes as you." Or when I try to write a story (I want to be an author) I'd write stuff like "You can only improve your writing by writing." I'd always thought stuff like that was corny and fafetched, but you know what? It actually helps.
I'm sorry for your anxiety though. I'm lucky that I don't get anxiety, so I can't imagine what it must be like for you. I guess just try doing the grounding exercises whenever you have one. I'm guessing you've read about them?
>>675645274
thank you for your words.
just googled the grounding exercises.
>>675645032
Give me a better way with no resources
>>675645621
just dont
>>675645541
It's for panic attacks and stuff like that, but I think that relates to anxiety attacks. Hope it helps. Good luck either way when you do get your round of therapy anon.
>>675641888
DO EET!
>>675642624
Can you livestream this somehow?
>>675645756
thank you
>>675641888
Wtf is going on? Why is everyone trying to talk him out of this? Am I on the wrong website? What happened to this place?
>>675645621
A knife.
>>675645756
>>675645756
5-case of beer
4-cold beer in my hand
3-the sound of opening the said beer
2-the smell of fresh beer
1-taste of beer
Works every time
>>675645621
jump off a building head first, it doesnt even have to be that tall
>>675642624
no man have you last act be something positive. suicide bomb something. make the news at least
>>675646564
I don't know of one I can get on top of that I think would kill me
>>675646088
It went to shit
