Post your religion, get roasted
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Post your religion, get roasted
>>675497067
Nihilist. Thank you for asking. Roast me
Atheism
Member of the Church of Satan
i'm an agnostic just like everyone else should be, its the only logical choice
autism
>>675497436
You don't matter.
BURN
Zoroastrianism
>>675497688
ayo
>>675497696
kek me too
Fundamentalist Mormon
Luteranism
>>675497849
Kek
Wicca
Pastafari
>>675498071
shoot sel
>>675497436
>Nihilist
Say what you will about national socialism at least its an ethos
>>675497688
Mein neger
none
Hare krsna
>>675497436
Nihilism is not a religion, you stupid fuck.
>>675498777
Trips confirm the truth
>>675497688
hoe can you be sure that this is the best way
Wiccan
>>675498071
ayy
>>675497849
Go back to fucking your five wives.
>>675497067
Intellect is my religion
Atheist Orthodox
>>675497067
Agnostic. The only rational belief.
>>675497704
>>675498151
>>675498777
Thank you for roasting me ^-^
>>675500115
>teardrop dent with a pinched front
This man is merely a savage playing dress up
Muslim
agnostic , the only logical choice
>>675497067
Celtic paganism
Swear by stone and stream
my religion is:
>""
>>675500801
>praying to rocks
How is this better than a piece of wood?
>>675499799
Because it's impossible to prove or disprove any deity or out-worldly.
Let's say we have an unknown "X". Religous people say X=5
Atheists say X is everything but 5.
Agnostics say we don't know whether or not X is 5 because it's an unknown entity.
Nihilist.
no religion fuck this shit
>>675497067
fuck off-ism
theistic satanism
>>675500983
You treat the rocks the same way you would treat an animal, you just acknowledge it has a soul.
That doesn't mean you can't still use it to build a bridge.
>>675497067
My religion is Logginism
Praise Allah
>>675501382
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK0P1Bk8Cx4
>>675501371
so you're 12?
>>675501378
Now I'm confused. Who's the Jesus? The rock or the animal? Or the bridge?
whatever religion made this
>>675497067
I'm a devout atheist. Every Sunday, no matter whether rain or shine, I don't go to church. Also no matter how tired I am, I always don't say a prayer before bedtime.
BUDDHIST. ROAST ME FAGS
>>675501378
This.>>675501638
Also, I didn't know they used to make bridges out of animals
muslim before it was cool / not cool
Jedi
The Church of Sonic is a peaceful religion, and we welcome all to join us.
Gotta go fast.
>>675502420
>Vin Diesel is
>The Dream Is Real
Holy fuck my sides
>>675497067
Paganism
>>675502666
What kind?
Catholic
>>675501701
That's literally an Animorphs cover.
>>675502759
top kek
>>675502706
The only kind. The edgy kind
>>675502870
So like cliffs and such? Other anon in here has rocks for a jesus
>>675503058
I don't think that was >>675502666
>>675497067
Autismal.
>>675497723
>oh look Ive played civilization IM SMERT
>>675497067
Agnostic. Have at it.
>>675502666
>tfw no one notices witchcraft practicing Pagan's satanic trips
>>675502666
>666
Satanic trips confirm best religion
>>675503432
I noticed it
>>675502062
You should see the stream behind me house then.
>>675497688
Agnostics don't believe in god but also don't believe in the non existence of god. The requirement for being an atheist is not believing in god. Are Agnostics per definition also atheists?
>>675497067
Neslo?
Buddhist here
>>675504237
dont athiests believe that god definitely doesnt exist whereas agnostics cannot say that he does or doesnt exist, i dont know man im a christian fag
Ragnaros is my God.
>TOO SOON! YOU HAVE AWAKENED ME TOO SOON, EXECUTUS! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS INTRUSION???
>>675501999
cant be roasted.
>>675504643
No, definition (oxford dictionary):
"Disbelief or lack of belief in the existence of God or gods."
Agnostics have a lack of belief in the existence of god or gods, therefore they're also atheists, agnostic atheists like most atheists are anyway.
Church of Satan motherfucker.
>>675504999
stay in school
>>675497067
i used to fuck a girl who claimed she was a "planeteer"
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.
once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?
this was the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tgwFpMA61c
>>675504237
yes, yes they are
>>675497688
Agnostic is codeword for athiest that is a pussy
>>675497067
Agnostic.
Rodnover
i belong to the church of who gives a fly fuck.
My religion is Jedi
>>675504237
Think of it this way:
>You are standing with an athiest and an agnostic.
>the three of you are staring at a closed door.
>"There is no one on the other side of that door," says the athiest.
>"Until the door opens, it is only logical to accept both possibilities of either someone or no one being on the other side of the door," replies the agnostic.
well i'll be damn.... better post your religion here and make use of it
>>675501999
confirmed for one true religion
>>675505493
Athiests are hypocrites like Christians. They claim that Athiesm isn't a religion, yet isn't believing in nothing technically still a belief?
Dudeism
I believe in God. I dont go to church but have study the bible for some time
kek religion
>>675506019
But that's not necessarily the case. Being an atheist doesn't exclude being an angonstic. The sole requirement for being an atheist is to not believe in god. The requirement isn't to believe in the non-existence of gods. Agnostics are per definition Atheists but not all Atheists are agnostic. The former is the most common form, agnostic atheists. The latter is rather rare to find.
None.
>>675504237
Being agnostic is a Socratic belief like "i know that i know nothing", so it's not so much that they don't believe in God it's more like, they acknowledge that they don't know if God exists and they don't know if God doesn't exists. Where as an atheist would heavily imply that their is no God. Ergo atheists think agnostics are pussy atheists and agnostics think diehard atheists are just as illogical as fanatical christians.
Agnosticism also shelters the belief that if a monotheistic omnipotent God does exist, it would be illogical for it to create life with free will then expect that life to pick the right 1 out of 1000 Gods to praise or even live a morally good life since omniscience is beyond morality. So you don't know if there's a God but IF there is a God they would understand why you're an agnostic.
i get a tingly feeling that you should visit this shit
>>675506019
>theist, "there's a person on the other side of that window"
>athiest, "no there isn't"
>agonstic, "you're both right can we please talk about something less offensive"
My religion is Catholicism
Christian
>>675507078
DEUS VULT!
Roman Catkinson
>>675507097
Thats broad as fuck boo, what kind of Christian?
>>675506096
You're creating a false binary.
Because there are some people with religion, you are forcing people without it to exist on the other side of a line.
Is everyone who showers instead of taking baths more accurately a non bath-taker?
You're identifying a group's non-participation by twisting it into "participation in the opposite."
>>675507377
Baptist I guess
>>675506788
> that they don't know if God exists and they don't know if God doesn't exists
Which basically means they don't believe in god which is the sole requirement for being an atheist.
> . Where as an atheist would heavily imply that their is no God
No, the definition doesn't imply that:
"Disbelief or lack of belief in the existence of God or gods."
> Ergo atheists think agnostics are pussy atheists and agnostics think diehard atheists are just as illogical as fanatical christians.
While die hard atheists exist, they're a minority. Most atheists are agnostic atheists. Atheists call self proclaimed agnostic "pussies" because they're just afraid of atheistic stereotypes while their "believes" actually don't differ.
> Agnosticism also shelters the belief that if a monotheistic omnipotent God does exist, it would be illogical for it to create life with free will then expect that life to pick the right 1 out of 1000 Gods to praise or even live a morally good life since omniscience is beyond morality. So you don't know if there's a God but IF there is a God they would understand why you're an agnostic.
Atheism also leaves room for that idea, agnostics are just more specified atheists.
>>675497067
I was raised Jehovah's Witness first 17 years of my life.
I'm 23 now.
jamali. sing it loud. sing it clear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcjYkZW8AaI
>>675497067
Devout Muslim.
Come at me you infidels
>>675507768
Why haven't you started following Jesus yet?
>>675507861
Technically he partially does.
>>675507516
>binary
confirmed genderfluid fire hydrantkin
>>675497688
>agnostic
>being the Schrodinger of theists
Stop being a fag and just realize that God is the cat and he is in the box. Also, he isn't in the box. He is and isn't everywhere. I bet God can even drive the Mach 5 better than Speed ever could, so eat shit, nerd.
>>675507641
I think we just have to disagree on the first point. I think theirs a difference in believing that I don't know if God exists and believing that God doesn't exist. Its a leap to say one is the other.
>>675507726
was it you on sathurday ringing on my doorbell again? my mother let them in once and the come every few months since
Satanist
>>675507038
>Atheist: "Dont you feel stupid saying that some magic man outside the universe created everything?"
>Theist: "Don't you feel stupid saying that everything is a coincidental accident?"
>Agnostic: "Dont you realize that you're both equally annoying and unpleasant to be around?"
>>675507726
Sorry about your birthdays
>>675507768
WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA
>>675497436
If life is meaningless why haven't you killed yourself yet?
>>675497513
There are plenty of theories involving the big-bang but what is the direction of the universe, by which I mean athiesm has thought of the beginning but how does it end? (Just curious I am also atheist)
>>675497688
If you can't put in the time to look at the evidence and form an opinion, how do you have enough time to shit on everyone else who has you crossfit vegan faggot
>>675497723
Do you enjoy Christians talking about their religion that's a copy of yours or is the smell of your recently dead all consuming
>>675497849
So when Papa morman went up in the spaceship why didn't he bring back cool stuff?why just a shitty book?
>>675498071
I bet your parents finally believe it wasn't a faze
>>675500663
Hows the childwife?
>>675500801
English killed you long ago give up your gods suck
>>675501371
Hows it feel that the most evil entity in the history "church" is in San Francisco ran by faggots
>>675501999
Hay you shut up or I'll shit in some rice water and give it too a monk you know that hungry stupid fuck will eat it too.
>>675502720
2000 years of history, led the crusades, the conquistadors, now your religion is megachurches and paedophiles
>>675508040
I too hate it when people have opinions on things
>>675508015
Read my text again. I didn't that deny that there is a difference. I said that the requirement for being an atheist isn't to believe in the non existence of god, it's just to not believe in god. Agnostics fit the definition since they don't believe in god.
>>675508135
It's not personal kiddo
>>675508291
*didn't deny
>>675498071
Are you a 16 year old girl playing D&D with her boyfriend's friends or a middle aged mid wife working in buttfuck nowhere akansas?
>>675498097
EDGY
>>675507726
what up with harrasing people at their homes? Jesus Christ, no wonder you were prosecuted in the third reich. i guess you ringed in the obersalzberg too many times.
>>675508464
17/m in highschool who just read the Grimorium Verum and think you can cast spells with virgin lambskin now?
Nazarene
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_the_Nazarene
http://nazarene.org/
>>675508268
The joke went over your head.
I'm referencing how abrasive and condescending members of both philosophies (religions) can be.
I advocate and encourage external observation, introspection, abstract thought, and independent conclusion.
>>675498151
Kek my nigger
>>675497067
Zen Buddhism!
>>675509129
Wow, you're the marijhuana of religions. Every hipster wants you without even realizing that it's just as shitty as the other options.
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
>>675501492
Praise nothing. Nothing will outlive allah. Thank you for posting your beliefs. I'm glad we can get along even from different backgrounds
>>675508020
>>675508623
yeah it would've been. Sorry about that. Although to be fair, if you tell them never to bother you again they'll put you on a do not call list, and you'll stay there until you contact them and ask to be called on again
>>675508075
it's cool brah, left to go to university, so more than made up for it in the years since.
>>675508953
>the joke went over your head
>I don't like it when people are abrasive and condecending
Agnostics, everyone!
apathiest
>>675497067
Norse, give it your best shot faggot. I don't see any ice giants around.
>>675501492
Nah fam, Yahweh is the weh to go.
SEE WHAT I DID THERE
>>675509616
If you're suggesting it cannot be objective fact that someone did not understand the point of a statement, then I cannot help you.
>>675509986
Norse, when autistic contrarian atheists get even more contrarian and autistic so that they start to believe in gods again.
>>675510229
3/10 try harder.
Norse, one of the best religions out there.
>>675497067
My parents are jewish but I don't practice it
im a jedi
I am Open Minded.
Meaning anything IS possible, but if u have proof for a theory i will lean towards it more, so i go to where ever logic tells me.
Religion is Cancer btw.
>>675510425
gotta practice if you want to git gud fagit
>>675510396
No, I'm quite comfortable with 3/10. The person who made up your religion must have felt about the same way.
>>675510425
If they're gonna be muslim prey they might as well at least not be race traitors. Tell them to keep teh shabbat faggot.
>>675506069
They don't have mine :(
>>675510596
1/10 lame, couldn't even offend a muslim.
>>675510701
But I offended you since you display an obvious insecurity through your replies. So what's the conclusion?
.....<islam< norse
>>675510545
fuck just when i thought agnosticism couldn't get any more sanctimonious.
>>675508137
I have killed myself many of times. I keep getting sent back. That's how I know it's meaningless. What matters when you keep getting sent to the same checkpoints over and over? Thank you for replying.
If I had to guess why I'm not gone it's because others want me around
>>675507641
My belief is that you are autistic
>>675510196
>>675508953
>>675508040
You've convinced me. Due to you're boundless wit and objectively superior intelligence I shall choose to become an agnostic as they are much more pleasant to be around
>>675511082
Autistic but objectively right. Good enough for me.
Raised a JW for 18 years. Am agnostic/atheist now.
Ask me questions if you want.
Norse peganism, logical and cool
>>675511234
Do you like/lick horsecock?
>>675510987
Maybe you should like, try to actually insult the religion instead of like the actual criticism you get? I don't think you got the point of this thread.
>>675497067
whats that one where i dont believe in god, but im not an asshole? im that one
>>675511373
a faggot
>>675511338
Not into horses, only furries
>>675497067
I feel like I'm the only /b/tard how is actually muslim
discordian.
go on
>>675511099
You're a strange individual. Why would I want you to become agnostic? I don't particularly care what you believe. Also, if you type a little less hastily, you'll catch those pesky your/you're errors that make you look silly.
>>675511334
>religion
>logical
pick one
Serbian Orthodox Christian
Mormon. Not fundamentalist, though. Mainstream, I guess? As much as we can be mainstream...
>>675511629
im a Pakistani muslim....
>>675497067
Judaism
(Im waiting)
Islam
>>675512279
Oh sorry, I meant real muslims...
Jew
>>675512415
what .....
Paganism
>>675512636
Aren't pakistanis fictional people?
>>675512375
>>675512498
Do you have jew-fros?
>>675511918
Id emplore you to read a couple of the sagas. But i'm assuming your too dense for that sort of stuff :D
>>675497672
I've actually been religion shopping for a while. Would you say that the extra money spent on bandaids (from cutting yourself on all that edge) is more or less than a standard tithe?
>>675502720
how does it feel to rule all of the 3rd. world
>>675512860
no.
stop watching SouthPark faggot
Raised Catholic, am now an atheist, call me an edgy nigger, faggots.
>>675513556
Ur a niggster
>>675513385
What does south park have to do with it? I've personally known several jews with jew-fros.
Christian. First one to claim it since nobody else had enough guts.
>>675513886
Not sure if bait, or just illiterate
>>675514020
No bait. I'm a christian.
>>675497688
this
>>675512146
I used to be. Have you read Letter to a CES Director? Don't read if you want to stay active....
http://cesletter.com/
>>675514151
Scroll back up and read the thread a bit more carefully. You'll find you're not actually the first to make that claim.
Roman Catholicism, just converted from atheism a few weeks ago. I feel the power of God.
>>675514298
Haven't heard of it, but I haven't been active in about 6 years either.
>>675514328
Welp, I have been looking for another christian but apparently I haven't found. Sorry about it then.
>>675497688
pussy answer. Agnostic that prays every now and then is agnostic theist, agnostic that wouldn't ever give got a thought is agnostic atheist
>>675497067
I worship titties, here is my alter
http://frtyb.com/go/hEwb_bAaEj/Omegkle
>>675512752
you are thinking of palestine. pakistan is a real place with real people.
>>675511693
Consult your pineal gland.
>>675514471
Haven't been active for 3-4 years. Did mission, temple marriage, etc... Reading it totally absolved me all guilt or speculation. Makes me want to take name off the records.
>>675498097
I looked this up a few years back, and this is how I interpreted the spaghetti monster's "About Us" page:
>look, we're not here to make fun of christians, we're here to make people of all religions think critically! (Well, mainly christians). No really, all religions (but mostly christians). Everyone is welcome to join us (did i mention we have nothing against christians?)
>>675497067
Imperial Faith
>>675512752
I own a shamshir that says Made in Pakistan, so it's probably a real place.
I'm a devout Jashinist.
Deist
>there´s a god but you don´t have to do all of the ritual bullshit
The Tao that can be expressed in words is not the true Tao.
>>675515580
Served a mission, got home, and just stopped giving a fuck one way or another. My wife's an atheist or agnostic or something. The subject's never really come up. She finds it hard to believe that I was a missionary at one point in my life. Where did you serve?
>>675497067
>>675513749
Jew with jewfro reporting in, also roast me
>>675512860
Yeah I do, but i have an undercut to go along with it
>>675517192
not a religion tho, but i think still counts
Buddhist
>>675507516
I don't agree. If we have an unknown "X", a religious person might believe X=5. An atheistic person then believes X=/=5. Both people believe in one thesis. As they can't know (as an agnostic would say), they can only believe. Also, is there a difference between believing X is not 5, and not believing it is 5?
