I am jesus. No really. I am.
I will be honest with you, not a lot of you stand a chance to go to heaven. I can answer all your questions.
1. yes
2. no
3. maybe
4. probably
5. unlikely
6. of course
7. never
8. reformulate the question
9. you don't want to know
0. why?
>>675145763
are you real?
do you actualy exist?>>675145828
Will I get fired from work?
>>675145763
you're just some french faggot
>>675145763
Will i get into uni
>>675145763
Should i kill myself?
>>675145763
Is she the one ?
Does I just forget about her?
Is she the one
>>675147718
Will she be my girlfriend
>>675145763
Should I marry her ?
Does she even like me?
Can jet fuel melt steel beams?
>>675145763
Is she a shemale ?
>>675145763
Am I here just to suffer?
>>675145763
Do I have to wait to get married ?
>>675147930
Because inquisitive minds need to know.
Now answer the question
Why regina loves me?
>>675145763
do u belive in god?
>>675148119
WE NEED TO KNOW TELL US THE ANSWER NOW !!
>>675145763
were the beatles more famous than you?
>>675148282
if jesus doenst belive in god where are u from?
>>675148448
wuz 70's one direction more famous than u?
>>675148576
He doesn't need to believe in God because He is God, Silly Young Female
>>675145763
I don't give a fk about heaven ,don't even believe in it,but if hell is real , will I lose my virginity in there ?
Am I a genius?
Am I a genius, Jesus?
>>675149068
>>675149198
same fag ??
Am I a jinkity jankity genius, jesus?
Should I kill all my parents and friends?
>>675148878
jesus says "8. reformulate the question"
jesus is gods son send to earth u fucking faggot.
Will I pass che fucking science test?
Will i get that life i long for?
Will I acquire game soon?
Will I pass that test?
>>675149730
I mean a proper modern mortal life?
sweet jeebus, should i stay at current uni at all costs
Will I be out of my shitty job by summer?
>>675149778
C'mon Jesus. Answer me
>>675149853
Am i doing a good job at taking my time?
>>675145763
will i live abroad in 2017?
>>675149937
JESUS PLS
WILL I PASS THAT TEST
>>675145763
just because. will i?
>>675150000
checked
>>675149957
Am i the one going to will it come?
>>675145763
I should rape, pillage, steal and kill right?
will i get the job
>>675150363
Okay, is everything going to be alright?
>>675145763
Jesus you failed
No Jesus, I AM JESUS.
Will i ever get de pussy?
>>675150838
Will things get better in time?
Are you a Wizard?
Will I get laid tomorrow?
this thread can only work if jesus says he is real otherwise it fails
will i be a fucking man anytime soon
>>675145763
Will Trump be president?
Will I become the true king skywake?
>>675145763
Should I try and fuck the girl staying with me for a few days?
>>675151546
Okay, will we end up fucking when I put the moves on her?
Is op a fag?
>>675151865
Lies
Will I ever be content?
>>675145763
is Milo the antichrist? please answer truthfully.
will i ever find girlfriend
Will i ever fuck hot grill
Was hitler right?
>>675145763
you look a little nordic to be jeshua of nazareth
>>675152549
I do, fucker.
Answer me
>>675145763
Are niggers good people?
>>675152701
Jesus you just lied.
do i know my future wife right now
>>675145763
Will I survive this recover fully?
will i ever find love?:(
Can jet fuel melt steel beams?
>>675145763
i used to fuck jesus before she was crucified.
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.
once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?
this was the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tgwFpMA61c
>>675145763
Will i have a girlfriend one day ?
I'll get a gf this year?
>>675152880
because im in my prime
>>675145763
Will I see her again
will me and her ever date?
Will the girl I'm being cucked by like me ever
>>675145763
are you really jesus
Ar rokas turėtų eit į tūliką?
>>675152950
GODDAMN RELIGION IN A NUTSHELL
>>675152938
Will i fuck with a woman this year?
>>675152987
>>675145763
While we fuck, does my gf think of her ex?
>>675153092
sorry mate jesus said no
>>675145763
am i going to hell.
Jesus, will i ever get a girlfriend?
will i find a nice boyfriend?
When will I fuck her
>>675153255
No child. Because you're a faggot.
Suck my dick im a satanist
Will I ever make it to heaven
>>675153092
I'm sorry my child, but they will have a womanly penis at least.
Does she like me
Oh Jesus, why are you loosing the game?
try to stay on top of it!
>>675153380
Edge detected. 14/yo, get b& m8.
Should I text her?
>>675145763
Will I ever get laid? XDDDDD
>>675153881
WUHUUU!!!
>>675145763
Satan is that you trying to mislead us?
>>675145763
Will >>675153881 do it with priest??
>>675154110
You caught on quickly mortal...I'll give you that.
Soon though, I'll own this world one day, just you wait you little faggot.
is my mom going to overcome her sickness and leave the hospital soon? I miss her
>>675145763
Did the Jews kill you?
Will my life get better
Make me immortal! I demand it!
will i go to heaven?
>>675145763
Am I right that you don't exist & never really did?
Will I make it in EDM?
will anything good happen this week?
>>675145763
Jesus, do you rape babies?
Is Jesus a faggot?
will you mind stop stealing my ideas please?
>>675145763
Will i pass my exam tomorrow
Can non believers go to heaven?
Do you like CP?
lel r u rlly jesus u lil faggot
>>675145763
how come your semetic ass looks like a golden haired white boy?
should i drop mae 109?
Am I getting into heaven?
will i get my weed back ?
>>675145763
rollll
should i rape her?
>>675145763
If i cannot go to Jesus Heaven can I go to some other Heavens where we can fuck hot women and have fun and all that stuff?
>>675145763
One word, Alicia. If you're jesus then you'll know the question.
>>675145763
Does my dick have a cunt?
>>675145763
Is OP a faggot.
>>675145763
Will I succeed with my work?
>>675145763
does she actually like me?
Should i go outside
>>675159870
because im not sure about it
>>675145763
she broke up with me, but does she still sometimes think of me?
>>675145763
Rolling this deep, Is there a chance?
Will i die?
>>675145763
Will I ever find peace and happiness?
>>675160059
maybe you're right. but I still want to know
am i cool
was jesus white
>>675160359
i do
>>675160340
fuck you jesus, just tell me
Am life as macaroani wurth lifing
>>675160423
yes or no?
>>675145763
Do I really love her?
if I break up, will my gf commit suicide?
>>675160430
pls jesus, what is the answer
am i the coolest?
Will I go to heaven?
>>675160500
Because I need to know if she's worth it
will i fuck her
am i ice?
will i find it ?
the bad stuff i think about myself, am i just trippin?
Yes?
will i find it
>>675145763
will i fuck her
Will i ever score a chick
so im really a fuckboi?
Can I peacefully eat wings with the boys tonight?
Will I get her?
JESUS HATING ON A NIGGA
>>675160856
thank you based jesus
>>675160859
Thanks JC
Yes or no, I need this
jesus u just messin wit me? im cool rite
Why is my dick so hard?
Dude weed lmao
>>675145763
Will I ever get a gf?
Should i try to fuck her again
Can I go to heaven for assassinating Hillary Clinton?
>>675145763
Is anon a fag?
>>675161081
I'll do my best papa jesus
Will she ever love me
>>675145763
Is my dick getting wet soon?
>>675145763
Will I get into heaven?
Does damaris like me
my gf wants me not to wear a condom tonight, I'm not sure, should I not wear condom?
Am I a nigger?
>>675145763
Is suicide the best option for me?
>>675161351
Have fun!
Do i have it?
will i fuck a bitch tomorrow
>>675145763
are me and Lali going to marry?
>>675161099
Jesus are you are just keeping it a secret so you can throw me a huge congratulations party for my success in killing her?
cum on the whore?
>>675161327
I didnt say will she like me i asked if she does. Does damaris like me
>>675161312
>Will I get into heaven?
>No.
Is there a way to redeem my soul?
>>675160888
Shit, trips. You will.
>>675151316
>crisis imminent
AyyLMAO?
>>675160888
With trips for sure
Should i talk to her soon?
ayylmao ?
Will I be a virgin for life?
>>675145763
Am I dead inside for life?
Am I in trouble?
will it be okay?
Will I find a new gf before July 4th?
>>675145763
Are you gay is always my first question... Jesus looks really gay
>>675145763
will i be rich
Czy Krasuski to król świata
Do i need Jesus?
>>675145763
does she love me
This year I will achieve my goals, I will be happy?
>>675145763
has she moved on, should i not message her?
>>675162498
Should I start going to church?
>>675145763
trips or gtfo
>>675162608
Can Jesus forgive my sins?
Please.
>>675145763
rahowa this summer?
Does she want me back?
Will Lauren ever forgive me and get back with me?
>>675162758
>8. reformulate the question
>>675145763
Will the world end this summer with an outbreak of the racial holy war?
Is Trump your baby bro?
>>675145763
Get?
She I confess my love to her
Am I a good person?
Should i get off 4chan forever?
Will I ever date my crush?
Will you help me Jesus?
Just in general
>>675145763
I make decisions for myself?
Does she love me?
>>675145763
If my brother's divorce and the lottery tickets earlier weren't enough, does that dumb cunt Koty contact me soon?
Do you love me?
>>675163542
Good thing I asked Jesus before I said it to her. Dodged an awkward bullet there.
>>675145763
Am i going to hell?
will i date my actual crush?
Do you hate me Jesus?
Is hell a better place than heaven?
>>675163810
what do you mean with why you faggot.
will i date my actual crush?
>>675145763
is this really jesus?
/thread
>>675145763
Will I find the right girl?
>>675145763
So in all honesty, should we purge the Muslims?
>>675145763
Could i get away with rape?
>>675145763
Are you real?
>>675163902
Not with that attitude
Should i fuck her?
Have you ever contracted an STD?
can you create a rock you cannot lift
>>675148403
kek
>>675164295
But can he create a cock that you cannot suck?
will i meet the love of my life soon?
>>675145763
Do you even have a beard?
>>675164398
reroll
>>675164479
Take that as a no
>>675164479
will i get an awesome girlfriend?
Will we get married?
Am I going to pass my a-levels?
>>675145763
Will anyone on 4chan ever get laid?
>>675145763
Dude, are you serious?
Will i get a r. s. with h. a. Soon?
Will I get weed within the next 3 days?
should we vote for trump
>>675164666
I just got 666, does that mean Satan is real?
>>675145763
Does she like me?
>>675164692
That's what I thought.
Am I you?
>>675164729
Of course I want to know you fucking jew!
>>675145763
Should i send the letter to her
>>675145763
Should I keep the baby?
she is cheating me?
Will we be happy again?
>>675164939
So no?
Will it happen?
>>675145763
Should i let go of her now
will i find it ??
Is my gf pregnant?
Did my letters reach Grandmaster G?
>>675145763
Will i get the girl this time?
>>675165006
Common it will work out right?
Will I fuck her?
>>675145763
Should i give up on her now
will i find my haschich ?
>>675145763
Is she going to break up with her bf soon ?
Are we going to be happy someday?
>>675148696
Kill yourself
will it blend?
>>675145763
Should i try to talk to her
Will a I get a girlfriend this year?
Will i die happy
Will I be a depressed piece of shit my whole life?
>>675145763
Should i try to get her back
Will she be happy?
Should I try to get her back?
Can I be Jesus too
will i ever find happiness?
>>675145763
Are you coming back soon?
Will I ever get an Astro Morpher?
Well, I guess I'll just ask the same question again.
>>675145763
Am I going to meet you soon?
>>675165158
Will we be happy again?
>>675166279
Oh shit.
Is it true im gay?
Are my drugs coming within three days?
Do you consider me an ally?
>>675145763
are you stronger than satan
Can I do it?
Can we be happy if we try?
Should I kill myself?
Is it OK when people shoot up schools?
