ITT things you do that you think no one else does
i'll start: I narrate my actions in my head as if I were the spokesperson on a documentary.
I put pants on my horse
I get in the shower after I take a shit sometimes and wash my ass.
>justhairyasscrackthings
>>675023902
No I do it like this
>>675024290
obviously thats a shirt.
>>675024191
i dont have a hairy ass and i do this as standard. shit then shower always. i dont shit if i cant shower.
>>675022484
You do that to?
>>675024191
Shave ur ass then post pics
I sometimes bare my teeth like a big cheesy smile and pretend all the little dust particles that you see flouting around in the air are krill and that im a humpback whale filtering them in
I play with action figures while listening to Linkin Park/battle music. Usually I get so excited I begin chewing on their heads. No idea why I do this. I've been doing it for years. I'm 20 BTW.
wash my asshole in the tub after shitting
>>675025685
Do you wipe first, or do you just shit and go to the tub with an ass caked in shit?
>>675022120
>put the grab handlers proportionally in the section of the train i am
>When I'm eating I separate every different portion of my meal and eat it one at a time
>as i am walking through the street, I step on one block with one different foot
I have sleep apnea and it's hard to sleep with a plastic mask blowing air into your face, not to mention anxeity attacks that there's something attached to my face.
I would imagine characters in scenarios and even had a house and a plot of land for them to live.
Long story short, unbeknownst to me, I was performing a ceremony to create a tulpa, and now I have a headmate with different tastes and opinions than me.
Anybody else here have a tulpa? Intentional or accident like me?
>>675025685
Post shower shits are the worse.
>>675024191
same. I've shaved my ass a few times, but haven't in a while. I usually shit once a day, and I shower once a day. So I wait to shower until after I shit. One wipe to see how bad it is, then jump in there and spray that bitch clean.
>>675022120
I sit like this the majority of the time I'm at my computer.
Every night I think of a different way I'd kill myself, I've never done any of them though... sadly.
>>675025939
I wipe first but I don't get it all of it every time so I let the water run over it
>>675026290
what the fuck is sleep acne
If you're asleep no one sees the acne
>>675026532
Why don't you just get a Bidet
When I take a shit I bite down on the edge of the counter.
>>675026290
The fuck is a tulpa?
Just a split personality you communicate with?
>>675026971
It's an imaginary friend for people with mental disorders
>>675027085
Neat, you learn something everyday
>>675022120
I eat my fries in order of ascending length.
In every movie, at every Over-The-Shoulder shot I don't watch the actor expressing but rather the back/side of the actor to see how hard the editor tried to match up the ADR.
Not sure when it started, possibly when I started editing but now I cannot watch the emoting actor.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqBsiHBjit8
>>675025610
I would masturbate to you doing this, please post a webm of it
>>675026290
Take that headmate shit back to fumble faggot. Your not special. You do not have a special mental condition with split personalities. Your just a lonely, friendless neckbeard, though your are probably too young and faggy to grow a beard.
I put Jellybeans in between my toes when I masturbate.
I'm OCD. I need to organize my my layers in a certain way, with a special color system.
I plan my own funeral a lot.
>>675027442
real ocd shit
>>675025685
Buy an asian toilet, i heard/saw in tv they are kinda used to clean their asses with kund of an water sprayer in the bowl. Never seen irl though
>>675022120
I sabotage myself my being stupid so I don't have to work as hard
>>675022120
Literally everyone does that whether they notice or not
>>675026750
bait
>>675026482
I sit like that when I shit
>>675022120
In order to have good dreams every night, I pretend to dream about being a racecar driver.
i wipe my dirty crusty ass and smell my fingers a lot after
>>675029356
i smell my farts. you could just say im a dirty jew
>>675024394
>i dont shit if i cant shower.
i think you said that backwards
>>675027442
I go descending length
I like to pick my nose and keep my good boogers behind my ear to save for eating later.
>>675027603
Why would you jerk your pickle to
Me spazzing out with action figures???
>>675022120
I do that all the time.
I pluck the hair from my beard and eat them. I have to shave my face so people cant see the damage.
>>675029674
>mfw actually eating boogers while reading this
I jack off into underwear and hide it beside my bed as an easy access jack off dump
Only piss in the sink, I never piss in the toilet unless the need arises while I'm pushing.
I exercise
I pull pubes out from right between my balls and thigh. Sometimes to whole follicle comes with it and I eat the follicle off the hair. I also fold toilet paper every time I wipe my ass
Same here.My favorites are: getting head chop off by a train and hanging myself.
Never really considered doing it.
I wait for myself to get cancer, because I want an excuse for myself to start doing something out of my life.
Yet I know all my problems would disappear if I'd just start doing something, but I'm a whiny /b/tard thinking my life is worst.
Anyone else?
>>675024191
yeah i feel unclean if i don't shower after a shit
>>675030796
Me too but I also pull from above by cock and go for the corners of the triangle.
Because of decades of picking my nose I'v stretched the nostrils so far that I can fit a few marbles inside each of them. I have an ashtray with a few that I push in and squeeze out while on the computer.
>>675025530
fucking kek
I like to use my cum as lube for my dildo.
>>675025530
this made me chuckle
>>675022120
Treat m'lady like a gentleman
>>675031251
>Literally everyone
>>675031025
Same here, entire crotch is fair game. between balls and thigh is where the follicle comes out with it more often. Sometimes Theres a little blood on the very tip of it. Im surprised anyone else does this though
browse 4chan and cry myself to sleep
>>675029583
>i dont shower if i cant shit
what
>>675031072
Ken. Same here but i always use my left index finger so one nostril is significantly wider now.
I never lift the toilet seat to pee when using public facilities. I try not to splash the seat, because after I finish and tuck my dick away I wipe the seat clean with toilet paper.
I just dont want to touch the toilet seat before I touch my dick.
>>675027628
Lol
I literally cannot stop masturbating to clown porn
I like to scratch my balls and between my legs and eat the stuff that turns up under my nails.
Does anyone else like to piss in water bottles and hide them around the house?
>>675030325
Can you remember the first time you did this?
I constantly act as if someone is watching everything I do from my perspective, like a show or something
I like to get in my closet and get in my sleeping bag and imagine that im a grub worm in a tree, really helps that my closet has wood walls.
I pick lots of stuff up off the floor like a monkey using my toes as second hands. Don't have to bend over, efficient movement. Ive perfected flipping clothes from my foot up to my hand in one motion
>>675031963
>what
i think you said that backwards
>>675032139
There's this super hot Mexican clown lady, I forgot her name but she's awesome. Jewgle this image
>>675032524
I actually chuckled. Sounds like fun though
>>675032465
Same.
>>675029674
eating boogers is nothing new, but behind the ear is fucking nasty anon, I'm sorry.
>>675032680
Same, Why not have some extra hands
>>675032464
Probably when I was around 13-14, 24 now.
I superkick the cat tree I have sometimes when I pass it. Thigh-slap and all.
I Pretend in my head that I'm famous, and someone is interviewing me.
Sometimes when I'm doing something, I pretend that I'm giving a tutorial on how to do it on YouTube.
>>675026484
Me too. It's comforting. At first it felt edgy and stupid. Now I just try to be as creative ass possible.
My favorite all time is razor wire noose. Buck naked. Jumping out of my apartment window. Hanging there...that'll get some likes on Facebook!!
>>675029674
>Saving boogers behind ears to eat later
You are a sick, sad autist
>>675032980
It's so good man, especially during the winter. Cozy/peace level 9000+1
>>675025530
I really want to try this out
I inject myself with snake poison 3 times a day not to kill myself but so if I ever get bit by a snake it won't have any affect plus sometimes I trip ball after some injections
God if I had to live with you people I would die
Also Jeremy, if you are in this thread fuck you.
>>675025530
kek
>>675029653
Me too
>>675022120
>Dat gif
Been a while since I've seen it. Thanks anon
Whenever I am playing videogames alone I pretend I am a streamer/youtuber. I talk to my "audience" and commentate on my gameplay.
>>675034352
....me too
>>675033631
Im probably going to try this now. Thanks anon, have a trippy gif as thanks
>>675034352
Same, except my only audience is my little bro ha.
>>675022120
I do this, and I'm fucking sure I'm the only one
http://frtyb.com/go/gQ0i_bAaEj/Omekle
>>675034352
Oh shit, I catch myself doing that sometimes. Do you even say an intro?
>>675034352
Yup I do that and have been doing it since before youtube. It's more like I'm telling someone how to play and point out nuances in games
>>675032284
and smell it
Sometimes I sleep in my bathtub or in my car just for the hell of it.
>>675032465
Same didn't know there was a term for it when I was younger.. it's called the Truman syndrome
I get dubs
>>675035102
please call me ron
>>675035421
EPIC FAIL LOL
Somewhat like OPs but I commentate on anything and everything around me in my head and create dumbshit scenarios and comments. It's gotten to the point where I'm more interested in having a conversation with myself than other people.
>>675034753
Haha thanks, I also recommend laying pillows on the floor for extra cozy. I could actually see it as being awful to people who don't like small spaces, but I love it!
>>675032822
>?tahw
What?
In the summertime when the weather is hot, i like to stretch right up and touch the sky. when the weather's fine i got women on my mind.
Have a drink, have a drive and go out and see what i can find
i fondle my dick/balls a lot and then smell my fingers
I go weeks without fapping just for the hormone boost
it's like a drug
>>675036331
same
When I have no wifi and I feel the need to beat off, I will take a picture of my ass in various positions and jerk it to that. Works everytime without fail and I always bust hard.
>>675036331
>Literally everyone
>>675025610
Autism hits hard
>>675036469
Will try
>>675029223
Wat
When strangers ask me what my name is, i always give them a fake name. Not people i might be friends with, but like sales people or clerks or just people i dont give a fuck about.
>>675022120
I try as hard as possible to hide my problems from everyone.
No doubt most are going to be blindsided by my eventual suicide attempt.
>>675036331
I don't know a single man who doesn't do this, hell girls to it all the time to, there just discrete about it.
>>675029215
I used to
>>675036469
Only works for a couple days, then you go back to a little bit above normal.
>>675036331
I just did that before reading your post
>>675036219
If her daddy's rich take her out for a meal
If her daddy's poor just do what you feel
Speed along the lane
Do a ton or a ton an' twenty-five
When the sun goes down
You can make it, make it good in a lay-by
I yell various racist statements while riding my bike (I live in a small town and everyone is inside)
>Whenever I go to poop I say random facts about myself if I don't have a phone present
>>675032680
You too?
>>675030325
Dude this is me. Just started happening a few years ago. I was in the marines and had a room mate and if i had to piss when he was shitting id just piss in the sink (they were separate sections). after a while i just started pissing in the sink even when i didnt have to. Now i only piss in the toilet if someone is over
>>675022120
shove sunflower seeds into a guinea pigs vagina
>>675029223
Racecar spelled backwards is racecar
I sit when I piss
That's partly due to sometimes I just happen to need to shit.
When lube is unavailable, I jack off with my own spit.
I brush the water off of myself after i shower before actually drying off
>>675037634
I used to put those Lego connectors in my rats ass
>>675022120
>Brush my teeth using the toilet water.
>>675026482
Slav detected
>>675037161
maybe it affects people differently. I fap QUITE often so when I don't I can really feel my attitude changing. gradually at first then it's really noticeable around week two
>>675038001
Awesome.
>>675038014
you don't have a sink?
>>675031251
Are you fucking gay, bro?
>>675032465
Dude same here. but that was a kid. Now i feel like everyone can hear my thoughts, but they have a conspiracy not to let on. like im the only non telepathic person on the planet. like i act normal, but i always have this feeling in the back of my head they can
>>675033322
Not alone on that one
>>675022120
>Carefully, I surch trough my reaction image foldur for ze image of a man... hammering a banana to a tree. I do not know the reason for it, but somehow, dis silly macro brings a feelink of joy to my weary harrt.
>My reaction selecteed, I teek the box marked "I am not a robot", and a collage of pictures of road signs feels my screen.
>I select de images, wonderink da context surrounding each sign. Where were dese people goink? Were dey a family? Lovers? Or lonely travelers searchink the open road for some small shred of meanink
>I click post
>>675022120
I have such thick hair in that region above my dick that I have to trim it twice a month bc i pee on the hair and it gets caught in my zipper
>>675038014
I piss in the sink
>>675038354
>>675037574
same guy btw
>>675022120
I do that too...
>>675022120
You should check this out if you haven't already.
http://store.steampowered.com/app/221910/
when I drive alone I'll scream as loudly as I can in an attempt to spook myself.
I get quints because I am god.
>>675038128
Great job!
>>675038722
fail
>>675038419
pindick detected
>>675038269
Yes but in the morning and at night i bend down and simply wash my teeth in the toilet, then use it afterwards if needed. 2 birds 1 stone i guess
>>675037574
It's super convenient, same about people coming over, a friend of mine installed a urinal in his bathroom and now I'm set to have one installed to.
>>675038722
Nice try
>>675034352
I do this too but only in my head. When I try aloud I just get uncomfortable
>>675038722
dam only dubs, I'm only 2/5ths the god I thought i was.
>>675038888
Kek
>>675038354
Dude I will think shit and people will start talking about what I'm thinking. I'm paranoid as fuck about everything tho
I get trips for no reason sometimes.
>>675038888
jesus
>>675038888
holy fuck
good shit boi
>>675035514
Fuck you brett
I occasionally hiccup and burp at the same time. Completely involuntary reflex
>>675026482
>source: tumblr
GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I jerk it to pictures of myself.
>>675038722
Faggot ass bitch ain't get shit>>675038888
Checc me out nigga
>>675039438
I'm sure someone has done this before
>>675036731
Same here. I try to come up with different names everytime.
>>675022120
i like to dress up as CP
not everybody thinks that its cool, but i finally met a girl who thinks im a 10/10 would bang like bam in my CP suit.
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.

once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?

this was the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tgwFpMA61c
>>675038354
Holy shit I get both, glad to know I'm not the only one with this
>>675027442
Autism?
>>675037520
Same here. I also close doors and flush toilets with my feet to keep germs off my hands.
>>675037983
Holy shit man I thought I was the only one...
I have really bad insomnia and have found that the thing that most helps me fall asleep is reading the life stories of serial killers.
>>675027599
i do this also
I sometimes yell insane rants when I'm driving by myself with the radio off, I also will scream alot and do different types of screems and rants in different voices.
>>675040345
Strange, I've come across audio of an urban battle and that helped me get to sleep.
Masturbate to futanari>>675022120
>>675040290
Holy fuck, there's actually someone else who does it. I think i love you anon
i pretend im pregnant when home alone
When I'm recovering from a hangover, I become extremely withdrawn and self-conscious regarding actions that I made the previous night.
This usually involves me screaming into the sky to drown out my thoughts. For this reason, my hangover are usually filled with a lot of loud and random yells of self-hatred.
>>675036755
> suicide attempt
Fucking 13 year emo girl, get your underage ass to bed.
>>675040775
Then who draws the futanaris?
I sometimes connect wireless security cameras to the internet without putting a password on them.
Then i act out weird scenarios in front of the cameras when i see in the log that someone has connected to the video feed.
>>675026482
Go back to shit-tier asia
>>675040714
That's pretty interesting. If I try and listen to anything besides white noise it will keep me awake.
I pull my pubes, put one in my mouth and bite it into little pieces, then take them out with one finger and do it again. I find it quite relaxing
I like going into the woods, stripping butt naked and jerking off onto into trees, flowers, creeks, rocks, moss, ant hills you name it.
>>675038888
nice quads
>>675040345
For me, I usually watch horror game Let's Plays or I watch alien documentaries.
>>675041571
This actually seems really fucking fun.
>>675038354
Aural hallucinations, and you're looking for a logical explanation. Just accept it, realize nobody can hear your thoughts, and font think bad thoughts about yourself.
You're not alone.
>>675041250
The mangakas that cant get work making regular mangas
>>675041461
>>675040927
>>675036731
>>675035300
>>675032680
Literally me my entire life. I thought I was the only one...
>>675041889
Well, SOMEBODY's doing all the fapping.
>>675041668
I'm not really into Let's Plays. But I do enjoy the occasional alien documentary. They only help me relax though, not actually fall asleep.
>>675041692
It is like becoming one and making love with mother nature.
>>675039099
>ilikebigbutts.jpg
>>675032139
Tell me more about these sexy clowns
>>675042155
That's some poetic shit, man. Truly beautiful.
>>675042012
That's what the tissue boxes and aveno are for, friend.
>>675030325
Haa me too!
>>675030796
I eat my follicles too!! I like to collect multiple and eat at once...
>>675022120
Sounds like that could get pretty hilarious.
I eat paper, regularly.
I have created a running show inside my head that has so far existed for more than a year. I continuously add to it when I'm bored/going to sleep, and it stars an OC I made up.
>inb4 autistic
Sometimes I will imagine myself giving a lengthy speech to a large crowd. It prevents me from sleeping.
>>675026482
I sit like this the majority of the time.
>>675022120
I just took a shit, and sat there singing "Takin' a shit, takin' a shit" to the tune of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NEZRPzNF2Q
>>675033899
mfw you die from a spider bite
I like to eat candle wax, I dip the tips of my fingers into the wax and let the wax cool then eat it off my finger tips. Don't de it as much as I used to but its hard not to do with vanilla candles.
>>675033482
I do the youtube tutorial thing as well
>>675023902
No, like this.
>>675045001
kek
>>675022120
I do that same thing too, in my head I would have thoughts as sentences that end with "he said", I try not to do it too much
>>675025530
Now that I've not heard before
>>675026198
I do the last one also
