Give me /b/ best excuses for being late to work
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Give me /b/ best excuses for being late to work
>>675004761
sorry boss i had to fuck my gf.
woke up and tire was flat.
>>675004761
I literally could not stop sucking black dick.
i had to post a shit thread on 4chin
>>675004761
The entire exhaust system fell off the bottom of the car.
I didn't feel like getting up today. Take it out of my personal time.
TFW 26 days left this year...
>I want you to fire me
>>675005071
Haaha
I had the mud butt
stuck in traffic
forgot my wallet at home
no hot water
no cold water
didnt have breakfast
have a cold
was temporarily blind
Boss rings me on Tuesday'' Where the fuck are you?You never even called in sick yesterday''
''Im at work'' I told him
''No you're not'' he replied
''I am, I just work somewhere else now''
the bed was warm and the room was cold
I had the screaming shits for like an hour, man. Couldn't even get to the front door without my asshole exploding.
>>675006118
This
>>675006118
this. 1 godzillion times this
>>675004761
>I have a really hard time not being a shitty employee. Showing up for work on time is like, super super hard. But still pay me though, my mom said she wasn't gonna buy me a better phone for like, another 6 months. Fucking bullshit. I should get everything I want all the time and not have to do anything to earn it because yeah deal with it.
Get to fucking work on time you worthless self-entitled child.
How has no one posted the obvious?!
Traffic
>>675004761
pulled over for light out
keep a fake ticket with you
>>675006324
My mom bought me a phone in less than a month.
>now if I can just get that bitch to go to the damn grocery store
Ah di'n wawnna cum ta werk dat day, so ah di'n. We black folk do shit like dat.
No joke, a nigger at my job said that.
Not for work, but I told a professor my paper was not complete because I was unaware that the keg cups at the party were dosed with led (I totally was aware. lol) extension granted.
>>675006792
Niggers gonna nig
I saw something triggering on the internet and I need to stay in my safe space.
>>675004761
you thought you saw a flock of niggers outside your house
"My grandma died"
"But this is the 3rd time"
"She's a cat"
Bohemia rhapsody came on the radio just as you pulled into the companies driveway
my dick got caught in my zipper
>>675007251
kekeklololozozlzzlee soo fnny
>>675006157
Tried this on my manager. He told me to drink a bottle of pepto and that I better be in soon. I sent him a picture of my toliet. I got the day off
If you're black, just tell him you waited for your dad.
Seafood inspired explosive diarrhea.
>>675007868
KEK!!
>>675007355
that would be funny if that song wasn't crap
>>675007868
If your black then How do you have a job anon?
Buy donuts and coffee
Take them to office
Give them away (boss inluded)
Use it as an excuse
>>675008105
The song is like 30 mins long
>>675008105
darude sandstorm came on the radio
>>675008150
Implying you have a job.
A tractor trailer turned over 100 yards ahead of me, blocking all 3 lanes and both shoulders. I'm going to be here a while.
>>675008035
He asked for the best from /b/
>>675008105
This. I fucking hate Reddit music
"Fuck you I'm not coming to work today"
Next time you get a flat tire, take a few pictures of it, send him one next time you want to be late.
>>675004992
>then why is your tire inflated and there isnt a spare on your care anon?
risky
dead battery is better because there is no way to prove it since it would have charged up again on the drive over after getting a jump.
>>675009089
*car
send him this
>>675007845
today, on things that didn't happen
>>675008150
he said black... that doesnt mean he is necessarily a nigger
>inb4 hurrr durrr yea it does hurr durrr
>>675009089
You can repair a flat tire, bro... nobody is going to inspect your tires for signs of repair
>>675009089
If it is a slow leak you could just say you reinflated it. The light out and cop pulled you over if much more risky because if your light isen't out.
GOT THE FLU
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqBsiHBjit8
>>675009336
>stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>>675005931
D E S T R O Y E D
E
S
T
R
O
Y
E
D
say boss, i over dosed on the marijane. Its okay I got it from Colorado
I just tell the truth when I'm late for work...
traffic, line at dunkin donuts are the most common
>>675009263
Kek! Send it! Watermark and all
>>675009398
Yes it does
>all blacks are niggers, but not all niggers are blacks
>>675004761
>>675005426
all at the same time
