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maybe if it was 10 seconds
>tfw no friends
I feel like we'd die. 1.8 each? How big of a space do we have to fight him in? Are we allowed to run him around in circles for the duration of the "fight"?
Do we get weapons?
>>674961141
Need to know the requirements/guidlines for the fight.
Where does it take place what if any weapons are allowed and do I need to actually touch him?
>>674961141
money is useless if you're dead.
>>674961533
>outrunning a gorilla
>being this Kenyan
#youwouldfucktherabit
>>674961141
most fights between armed men dont last much more than a few blows, i could have an army of 100 men and that fucker still might win
>>674961533
>>674961822
No weapons, and it's a grand total of 1.8 billion
theoreticaly, we could probably get on each other's shoulders, and appear bigger than we are, maybe that would scare him off. but with no weapons or anything, he would fucking tear us apart.
You'd be better off jerking the fucker off, that's your only chance.... Me I'm running over the hills while you have fun
>>674961141
2 friends
pic related
hell yeah
>>674962187
depends on how aggro the gorilla will be. If he's instantly out to kill you using all of his strenght, all 3 are dead pretty much instantly.
>>674962187
how big is the arena? could we hide? Is the gorilla aggressive from the get go? is he out for blood or just injury?
Yeah why not. Life's not really gong that great anyways
>>674962557
will they win?
wtf
My 2 friends would be a gun and a box of bullets
>>674962741
Arena is about the size of a baseball diamond, and mildly aggressive.
>>674962911
hope you're a good shot then, would recommend shotgun instead
Yea dont tell your friends but the second it starts fall on the ground and play dead while he rips them apart. Might leave you alone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B__SHXAXNQQ
>2 friends
One gun, one friend to shoot the gun.
you never told us the size or the gorilla. It could be shoe box size and we just don't know.
hell yeah. my life isn't that good and I think there is a decent chance a gorilla would not bother to kill me. 1.8 billion pays for a great deal of medical care.
>>674961141
Lifelong disability/disfigurement or death? Nope. Id rather keep my face and not be in a wheelchair and have a nice flat and enough money for all i need.
>>674963434
you "just don't know" if gorillas come in shoe box size? do you know what a gorilla is?
>>674963434
It literally says "fight him", implying that they're talking about the gorilla pictured.
Id pick 2 far guys and outrun them , then wait the remaining time not alerting the ape while he plays with my friends
I'd use my friends corpses as meat shield and flail them in front of the gorilla, since it probably won't realize there dead since there still moving
>>674961141
Yes my friends would be c4 and a detonator
>>674964080
how do you know how big he is? the door behind him could be the size of a xbox
My two friends are Donald Trump and a lusty female gorilla from the zoo.
Hopefully the three get caught up in an orgy and I can slip off quietly.
>>674964145
kok
>>674964365
>>674961141
I dont fight niggers
Don't even need two friends. All I would need is a blank welfare check.
>>674961141
$1.8 billion dollars AND two friends?
where do I sign up?
>>674964664
>>674962182
I'd doubt that, the gorilla would simply be exhausted well before it killed a 100 men
I would cry and tell the gorilla its oppressing me and it would just automatically start doing anything to avoid me
>>674962557
very smart anon
>>674961141
Naw man. That nigger will pull off your genitals
>>674964573
kek
>>674964664
>>674963887
this is a situation where someone will pay you 1.8 billion to fight it, we dont know what the hell is happening.
>>674962089
Funniest post I've read in a while
Give me a decent Knife and I would take this motherfucker on.
>>674961141
do you have to fight him all 15 min or can it end earlier than that
>>674965336
Troll harder.
>>674965461
Edge harder.
>>674965477
You remember that shitty Spider-man movie way back when?
>>674962089
haha. those kenyans do run fast
>>674962089
humans are the best long distance runners of all animals, so if we'd be in open field and have some space between us there's a good chance you'd be able to outrun it (assuming it charges full retard)
http://www.howfastcanarun.com/how-fast-can-a-gorilla.html
link are some stats, which means if we fight such a gorilla in a close space without weapons you'd be fucked.
>>674961141
My Two friends could be Brock Lesnar and Conor Mcgregor
I still wouldnt doit
>>674966280
>humans are the best long distance runners of all animals
you forgot niggers
>>674966462
They're humans. They can produce offspring that can also produce offsprings of their own.
Yea i'd do it. I'd pick two Kenyan marathon runners with meat tied to their waists to attract him away from me.
I think a lot of people overrate gorillas. They're not predators and only fight for female's attention. Sure they're strong, but I would fight a gorilla over a bear or a tiger any day.
>>674966815
>not understanding le racist meme's :^)
>>674961141
> timer starts
> fall on ground in fetal position to protect as many of your vital organs as possible
> don't move for 15 mins
Gorillas are herbivores and only act aggressively to protect their group / themselves, or as display to attract females.
One of the things that all wildlife photographers know is that if a gorilla shows aggression, make yourself as small as possible and don't move.
Gorilla thinks it wins.
Easy. Don't need friends either because the gorilla might actually show more aggression to a bigger group.
>>674961141
guess its worh the try
else id die glorious with two buddys theres no shame in that!
>>674961141
You wouldn't last 5 minutes. A fully grown silverback male would rip off your head and shit down your neck without even working up a sweat. 10 friends, armed with swords, sure, if you can land a good hit to the heart in order to drop him, but you'd still lose at least 4-5 of them.
An AVERAGE silverback, if trained to do so, could dead lift 1,800lbs. If memory serves, the current record deadlift is maybe half that. Now, that's not a motion that a gorilla would normally make, but fighting motions? Pulling? No. 500lb male gorilla would rip two fully grown men apart and not even think twice.
>>674966280
Only works if you can actually run properly.
Take 3 random guys from /b/ however and I'm putting money on the gorilla.
>>674966925
>Implying you want your face caved and not your throat bitten
>Implying you want a painful brutal death
>Implying you want to be tossed around like a ragdoll.
I'd prefer to be eaten by a tiger than beaten to death than a gorilla.
>>674966925
I'v seen bears and tiger / lions that get scared really easily by humans, they don't like being around humans for the most part.... iv never seen a gorilla that got scared by anything.
>>674967294
true dat, but op also didn't say anything about preparation - give any /b/ tard 5 years of intense training and he'll do it.
>>674961141
15 minutes? you cant spend money if youre dead.
even 60 seconds would be too long. it would have to be 20 seconds max for me to even consider it, and even then id just spend the whole time running away
>>674967367
You make a good point. Silverbacks how more drawn out fights (displaying dominance in front of potential mates).
Predators like tigers and bears have no interest in keeping you alive. They prefer the struggle to be as quick as possible to conserve energy.
>>674967135
This guy knows what's up.
I would pick cheech and chong to smoke this nigga out and we could all chill the whole time.
Get some tasty friends.
Someone would have to be sacrificed for the other 2 to collect the money
>>674967490
That's because gorillas have nothing to be scared of.
Yes. Sacrifice my 2 least favourite friends for the greater good.
Yes. You never stated that I couldn't use weapons. I would. My friends would be mister smith and mister wesson.
>>674966280
That only counts if you're a trained runner.
Your average fatbeard on 4chan most likely can't even run a mile.
>>674961141
two more gorillas who are on my team
>>674967367
i disagree. a gorilla may use its teeth to some extent but it would mostly attack you with blunt weapons, i.e. its fists, which would quickly knock you out, and then its just sweet unconsciousness while he finishes the job.
a tiger would rip you to pieces, and although you would bleed out fast, you would still spend a good 30 seconds or so watching it tear your organs out or even feel it ripping your face off.
>>674961141
I would pick two enemies who I know I can out run. What sort of terrain we taking? If it's in his pen I may not take the challenge
>>674961141
definitely, I would pic 2 of my smallest weakest friends and throw them at the gorilla while I ran away...even if he kills them both before the 15 minutes is up he will be tired enough that I could outrun him until the clock ran out.
>>674962848
Easily
What's the arena?
>>674967135
'how'd that guy get 1.8 billion dollarydoos'
'he cried like a bitch in the fetal position for fifteen minutes'
NEWS TONIGHT
LOCAL MAN CRIES, GETS 1.8 BILLION
>>674962848
Bear would fuck a gorilla up. Don't know about the tiger but probably.
>>674967217
I guarantee you the current deadlift record is more than 900 lbs. There are dudes who squat close to 900 lbs
>>674968230
I've never seen a gorilla use a weapon when fighting, They may use their teeth but it won't be for a killing blow. So you'll be alive while they tear away your face.
>>674969099
its over 900!!!!!!!
>>674962182
Being this Facebook
kill yourself
>>674969269
when i said weapons i was referring to their hands.
>>674965761
THEEEE BOOONNEEEEEE SAW
>>674961141
My friends would be Smith and Wesson.
>>674961141
Sure, I'll pick my two friends and let them be ripped off by him. I stay still. No move, no breathe, no blink. After 14.5 minutes (15 - time gorilla took to rip apart my two friends) I'll be 1.8 millions richer
>>674961141
why is it 1.8 billion? why not 1.5 or 2?
>get two black african americas
>gorilla recognizes the females as his own
>pounds their cunts with his pencil dick over and over again
>i leave with the cash
Winners all around
>>674961141
Simple. Pick him as a friend. You get to sit on your ass and wait for 15 minutes while he loves on you.
>>674961141
At no point, during this insane proposition, did you not state that guns and/or ammunition was illegal, therefore, after much counsel from my best friend Ron, I will therefore invite my 63 year old mother and....oh, I don't know. Her 71 year old sister?
Wait--I'm starting to think I somehow screwed this up.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqBsiHBjit8
![6LoM4c7[1].webm](/data/b/image/1458/510/1458510594850.webm "6LoM4c7[1].webm")
>>674968867
>>674961141
I would, alone if needed. I would actually fight him just for the sake of it. Would most likely get rekt and dead tho but hell I would fight it.
>>674970535
this guy
I like this guy
>>674961141
Nope, all of it. Maybe if it was like "you have to run through his enclosure" kinda deal, but nope.
>>674961141
fuck yeah, first thing you learn in martial arts is how to take on a bigger opponent
>>674970735
not only would u get rekt, you would probably die u fucking retard
>>674970059
Why are you guys questioning every fucking thing? You make me sick.
I would bring my offensive linemen friends they are more than 300 pounds each and hit like a fucking truck. I like my odds.
>>674971026
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK67kaMWN-8
>>674971401
Tell them good bye
>>674965021
any moar? or is that the only pic of her i haven't saved?
>>674971401
Nigger i can assure you they won't knockout a fucking gorilla
>>674971401
Your odds are shit, son.
Mr. King Kong here will tear your punkass 300 lbs fat linemen to shreds within a breathtake.
Mr. King Kong hits like a cargo train loaded with nuclear warheads.
Mr. King Kong here does not give a shit of your eggball friends nor their exessive use of protection pads.
Your odds are shit.
>>674961141
Get gun shoot nigger 10 times in head.
>Get 1.8 billion
>Profit?
I would pick 2 handicapped kids. They distract the gorilla for 15 mins while I hide/run around avoiding the gorilla.
>>674971541
holy fuck i would never fight that fucking gorilla oh my god not even for 1.8billy
>>674962557
hide behind those fuckers...fucking genius
>>674972703
they'd die in 10 seconds
Only chance i see for me is if my two friends are Smith&Wesson.
>>674972896
kEK!!! xDDDD
>>674961432
Kek
say hi to my frIENDS
>>674961141
why $1.8 billion??
why not 1 billion? or 2? or $1.986.876.656 ??
>>674963270
Who said the gun isn't a shotgun?
>>674972896
Mfw i'm just watching Dirty Harry
>>674964109
This could work
>>674966815
True, but they aren't mammals.
Mammals only produce offspring via a mother and a father. Niggers only have a mother.
>>674961141
Would someone have a chance to get close enough and take his eyes out?
>>674963382
>clevergirl
>>674971401
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Umokxn3Vc38 tell me they would stand their ground with this charging
>>674972703
youre an idiot. the friends need to be obviously bigger & more dominant than you otherwise the gorilla won't care they're there.
clearly you are new to this
>>674970707
convenient
>>674961141
just get to 6 feet tall friends and get on each others shoulders, this would form a 12 foot tower and the gorilla would be come frightened and hide in a corner.
I know Kung fu, jujitsu,black & blue & shitz u, he doesn't stand a chance
>didn't specify "human" friends
yes. my chosen friends are a saltwater crocodile and a siberian tiger.
>>674974782
Damn. That guy has balls of steel. I flinched just watching the video.
>>674975494
You still wouldnt last longer than five minutes
>>674961141
What's even the point of the time limit? Obviously it isn't going to take 15 minutes for either party to die.
>>674975494
>>674961141
>Implying those heavy and slow muscles can best my superior agility and speed. I might not be able to win in just 15 minutes but I assure that gorilla won't be able to touch me.
>>674975710
>implying the other animals wouldn't savage each other as greater threats for that long while i have a nice bourbon tea and watch
also just gonna point out that nothing in the OP denies us weapons... so yeah...
Think i will pass my friends arent as fit as they used to be
>>674975265
Finally get to use this.
>>674969055
Bears are fucking mental but the Gorilla's strength shouldn't be underestimated
>>674976214
yep. me and two hunter friends with sawed off shotguns. sounds good. easiest 1.8 bil ever made
No.
I feel I wouldn't be able to enjoy 1.8 mil after he rips by ballsack off, bites my face into a deformed mush, and breaks my limbs in a flurry of Donkey Punches
>>674976642
pffffffffttttttttt
>>674961141
Do you have to kill him? Or just survive 15 mins?
>>674976642
Bears are made for ripping flesh
Gorillas eat leaves and evolve into humans apparently
Done. No friends needed. I'd blow that fuckers head off the cut off his nuts.
Don't bring a monkey to a gun and knife fight losers.
>>674977128
>>674976214
yeah someone already noticed that
>>674961141
it gonna kill me anyway so no
>>674977193
>OP
I'd just give him a blunt, a forty of Old English and a bucket of KFC and wait
Ezpz, rush the fucker all together and go for the eyes. Hands cant hit what the eyes can't see
>>674961141
The thing that intrigues me the most about this post is the specific amount of 1.8 bil, why that amount, OP?
>>674968888
>>674962089
>>674961141
well if it is a small space, 3 people would be killed by a gorilla in a couple minutes easily.
In a large space, you may have a chance if all three of you run in opposite directions and try to hide for the 15 minutes.
>>674969099
Deadlift record is 1025 lbs
>>674976828
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nSWc43TLaI you people have zero understanding of animals srsly there is videos of cats fending alligators and such not beacuse it could kill it but basically beacuse animals are fuggin stupid. Place a gorilla in a cage with this and if the humans started to antagonize them to fight bear wins 99 out of hundred..
>>674977442
You underestimate the strength of a gorilla. One swing and you 3 bitches are on the ground about to get your shit bashed in.
>>674977742
Animals are not stupid they just work on instinct and not thought and this fucker is the most dangerous animal there is because his instinct is to attack on sight
>>674974782
Wow I would've shit all over myself if I was that guy
>>674978065
3 big guys running at a gorilla would make it shit itself, no mater how big it thinks it is, it flinches even once and it has 3 people running at full speed at its eyes. It could knock 1 guy down at most but then there are still 2 people running at it. Gorilla would naturally back off it has damaged sight
>>674978065
Depends though, are you wearing zoo keeper uniforms and carrying a huge basket of bananas ?
>>674961141
Only one friend and i am fine. This motherfucker slices hot steel with butter
>>674961141
when you say two friends what do you mean?
because personally i'd bring two tigers
>>674961141
15 minutes? We'd all be dead. Fuck that.
Meh, life sucks anyway. I'd to alone and see if I can get rich becoming a gorilla whisperer on top of the 1.8
>>674978536
lol no
>>674978762
Or better: 2 gorillas
>>674979550
Want to explain why not ?
>>674961141
No human would survive hand combat with one those
>>674961141
Would do it myself. I pick my friends Smith and Wesson. Check and mate, faggot
>>674978536
You have bigger balls than me, my friend. I read somewhere that a gorilla can tear a man's arm off using the same strength it takes a human to start a lawnmower. I don't know if it's true, but I don't want to find out.
But what do you do if you fuck with the wrong gorilla? What if it doesn't give a shit about the three of you and he just decides to go apeshit?
>>674961141
lol sure but it ain't gonna take me 15 minutes
>>674979869
That's original.
>>674980030
Keep running at the fucker and go for the eyes. Takes 1 poke to neutralise the fucker. The gorilla grabbing some1 creates space for other 2 to go for eyes. It swinging will only take out 1 guy max, doubt would fully kill the guy either. Number and intelligence advantage fucks the solo gorilla
>>674964664
I feel your pain anon
>>674961141
I'd fight him with my friends Smith and Wessen.
I thought gorillas were pretty cool guys?
>>674982434
Beat me to it.
You'd need a fat round to stop that motherfucker, though. Unless you're highly trained and can get one between his eyes while under stress.
>>674961141
I would befriend the gorilla
>>674961141
Easy, I'd just offer to split the money if he leaves me alone
CASE CLOSED
TRUE NORDS NEVER BACK DOWN!
>>674961141
Fuck yes I would. Pic doesnt say anything about weapons, and humans fight with weapons. I'll shoot that fucking nigger in the dick.
One thing you're told to do while an animal mauls you is to curl up in the fetal position and shit yourself.
I'd try that, but the shitting myself part wouldn't be a conscious effort.
>>674983115
MY SHIELD IS WITH YOU BROTHER!
>>674984078
>>674983115
TALOS WATCH OVER US!
would a gorilla being able to kill a couple of those?
Optimus Prime and J-Law. Optimus stares confused at the human ancestor hitting his leg while I knock up jlaw in his cab.
>>674961141
Can my two friends be Putin and Ted Cruz?
I don't care how much I have to pay, I'm in
>>674961141
I'd do it.
And I'd spend weeks in preparation learning the body language of gorillas. Then I'd sit in the ring and chill.
>>674961141
I choose two bigger gorillas as my friends.
Couldn't play fight with a baby for 15 mins.
That shit is a long time to be swinging
>>674961141
Jokes on you, my two friends are sliverbacks as well.
Their names are Jamal and Tyrone.
Yes...with these guys
>>674985738
It's a fight faggot
Not Gorillas in the mist.
>>674961141
not enough info. do i need to win? if he kills me do i come back to life after the 15 mins with the cash? when you say pick 2 friends do they literally have to be people i know because i dont know anyone who could help me fight this thing? if the gorilla kills me before the 15 mins does the fight just end their and i get the cash? where are we fighting? do i get any weapons?
not enough info OP
>>674973184
"You can´t kill me, I have superfriends!!"
>Local man is killed by their friends
I'm not scared of a Gorilla's physical strength, its his teeth i'm worried about. Could probably bite a chunk off my leg.
>>674962557
You've won.
