HELLO /b/ROS AND WELCOME TO THE STORY OF BILLY THE HUNGTARD
>be me
>like mid 7th grade
>eating lunch with friends
>we all hear loud screeches from the hallway
>look back to see an exasperated wrangler pushing tard in stroller
>tard is strapped in
>I assume tard couldn't walk
>gets pushed up to a table beside ours
>tardgrunt.wav
>wrangler leaves for a while
>whatwasshethinking.jpg
>tard starts scooting away using tard strength
>cue the secret agent music
>tard occasionally looks back to see if he's in the clear
>wrangler comes back while tard is checking to see if coast is clear
>Billy get back here! The wrangler waddles (due to overweightness) for Billy the tard
>Billy grunts and sets his tard strength capacitors into overdrive
>the tard is out of the lunch room
>I repeat, the tard is out of the lunch room
>tard screeches as if to say "see ya later fuckers"
>wrangler throws down lunch tray and yells in anger
>BILLY!!!!
>it's too late the tard has escaped
>less severe kid with the tards (I think he had aspergers and tourettes)
>realizes his chance
>steathily leaves lunch room
>screeches can still be heard from the halls
>the screeches intensify
>soon the screeches are unbearable
>tard screechers are on maximum overdrive
>gets pushed back into the cafeteria by a sweaty and tired looking wrangler
>mfw Billy the Tard had his feet behind his damn head (keep in mind he was strapped down in a stroller this whole time)
>his floppy tard meat stick is out and about
>he was hung
>it was like a car accident you didn't want to see but had to look at
>tfw when Billy the Tard has a bigger penis than I did
Should I continue?
Sure
>>674819990
you may proceed
Okay I'm on mobile so my thumbs are gonna be on fire. I have like 3 years worth of Billy Stories so brace yourselves
>billy the tard
best green text in a while
>>674819990
Hurry b4 I lose boner
>>674820632
>you sick fuck kek
this is a completely different incident
>at this point I haven't seen Billy month
>still 7th grade betafag
>one day in the lunch room, Billy was sitting near me
>the same wrangler as last was feeding him
>I think it was like applesauce
>BillyTard didn't take a liking to the applesauce
>kept moving his face away from the spoon
>wrangler gets frustrated
>you'd better eat this you little shit, she mumbles
>I think I was the only one that heard her
>Wrangler shoves spoonful of applesauce to Billy's face
>Billy screeches an inhuman demonic screech only the alphatard could release
>Billy accepts the applesauce and had some on his face
>the wrangler looks pleasantly surprised
>the surprise turns into shock as Billy the Tard gargles the applesauce and regurgitates it all over the wranglers face
CONT.
dont greentext it takes to long on mobile
Keep going
>>674821480
Curiosity is formed
moar<
CONT.
>At this point the tard wrangler is very angry
>mfw when the wrangler cusses out Billy the Tard
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>Billy finds it in himself to keep screeching but then he stops
>he starts making a strange bubbly noise from inside his throat
>confusedface.png
>the tard wrangler was still shouting at this point
>my friend Hunter was losing it laughing I looked at him for a second to ask him something
>then I heard a noise that sounded like a broken toilet flushing if that makes sense
>I look back to Billy
>that fucker forcefully regurgitated all of the food he has ever eaten and threw it up
>wrangler covered head to toe starts crying
>another wrangler shows up and carts Billy the Tard off
>I'm trying not to cry laughing
>wrangler sits in pool of vomit
>defeat.jpg
>on Billy's way out his hand sticks straight up
>all I see is his arm protruding from the back of his straightjacket/tard transportation device
>that fuck can't even talk but can flip of the entire cafeteria as he is carted off in glory
I have a few more stories about him, shall I go on?
>>674822711
yes but dont green text
>>674822711
Tessa kep going
It feels right to greentext idfk, I'll go faster trust me, this next story is a flash forward to my next year 8th grade
I'm 99% sure i've seen these stories before many years ago...
>>674823305
Got the same feeling.
>>674823305
you got screens of it
>>674823594
If I had screens of it I wouldn't be 99% sure would I?
>>674824328
You might be
>>674824328
>true<
Tards don't go to normie schools with tard wranglers. OP goes to tard school.
>>674824328
You're on /b/, you could be really fucking stupid
Keep the thread alive!
>>674823305
Maybe they went to the same school
Nope this is all true, it's reminiscent of Tardraptor stories but this all happened to me
>>674824801
Yes they do.
>>674823040
>>674822711
Yes and greentext it why wouldnt he
>>674825773
>hes a mobile fag
>okay this is now 8th grade
>shorter story
>I was still beta but not as
>has gym class with yards
>we were all sitting in our pre designated spots
>teacher was talking about football
>starts yelling at ghettofags for talking
>ghettofags yell back
>shouting match ensues
>wrangler is distracted by this match
>it's Billy's chance
>he lets out a short grunt and starts to scoot away in the tard-mobile
>teacher only notices after he rolls over aneorexic chick and she yells
>billy don't give a fuck
>keeps scooting
>the wrangler waddles for him and eventually catches up
>billy releases a screech more terrible than nails on a chalkboard
>Then he fucking did it
>he punched the wrangler in the face (keep in mind he was strapped in a stroller w/ wrangler directly behind)
>wrangler hunches over in pain
>Billy continues to scoot
>the great escape of billy the tard had begun
CONT.
>>674826066
>the great escape of billy the tard
>billy the tard had escaped the gym class and the wrangler had finally recovered
>the wrangler started waddling away with a bloody nose leaving a trail
>the pa turns on and the principal announces the tard on the loose
>lockdown ensues
>turns out Billy had done this many times before
>the phys ed teachers walkietalkie was blaring with general panic
>whathefuckrightnow.png
>I had no clue why they were so worried but I eventually found out in my next story
This next one might be my final story, there are a few more but this one seems more like an appropriate ending, anywho, reply if I should go on after my next story and I'll see what I can do
>>674826807
Yes please post all you have. I haven't had a good tard thread in years. I will be screencapping these for future posts on similar threads.
>>674826066
I hope Billy fucking dies, I want him to run in front of a car.
come on!
I'm glad this thread has stayed uop this long. These days most of the mods are too pussy to let a tard story thread stay up. Tumblr import faggots.
>>674827341
As am I anon. I miss these threads.
>>674826807
Do it , these threads are rare nowadays.
>>674826807
do it cmon
>>674826807
Go on,finish anon
Someone screen cap this so it isn't lost forever
The Miracle of Billy the Tard
>okay this story doesn't take place at school
>I was at the mall as was most other middle schoolers on Fridays
>I was shopping around and eventually baught a sign
>"gangsta parking only"
>I think I still have it if I do it will be the image on this post
>anyway
>I was eating with my friend Hunter and we were talking
>all of the sudden Hunter had an expression of awe in his face
>holy fuck anon it's a miracle
>I look where he's looking
>holyfuckingshit.gif
>it's fucking Billy the Tard
>in the flesh
>with his family
>and he's fucking walking
>sotherereallyisagod.jpeg
>I felt like inspired n' shit while at the same time confused as fuck
>Hunter and I reveled at that for some time
>on Monday at school, Billy was back in the tard-mobile
>shitdoesntaddup.gif
>I asked around
>turns out Billy could walk and was only strapped in as a fail safe
>he ran away and escaped the school building 3 times before being damned to the tard-mobile
>Billy doesn't give a fuck
Should I do a few more if I can remember?
>>674826807
I'm still here...waiting OP
>>674828174
yes more
I might do like two more but these memories are kinda fuzzy
>>674828174
I'm doing it, but I don't know how to put it all in one thing.
>>674828174
Yes OP, all that you have. These threads are so rare nowadays.
Please continue op
>>674828174
im gonna screencap it and put it on hugelol, this is gold bro
>>674819990
I knew these two tards back in elemtary/middle school. Their names were Aaron and Alan, they were completely identical twins, and 110% retarded.
Me and my group of friends would literally do nothing to them, except walk by their house, and they would run out with tree branches and attempt to attack us. Obviously out of school, they lived 2 blocks over from my buddy, on the way to the bowling alley we hung out at, so attempted assault by these retards was nearly a daily occurrence. We usually tried to ignore them, or at most snatched the tree limbs out of their hands, but a few times they got out of control and we beat the fuck out of them.
We almost got in trouble with police a few times, but once we explained shit they mostly let us go. I mean, how can you really get in trouble for defending yourself against a 250+ pound, literally retarded 7th grader?
>>674829192
Any greentext story's?
God I hope i didn't take too long and the thread died
Okay this is a story that doesn't directly involve Billy buts still funny af
>later in 8th grade
>in biology
>teacher didn't give two shits
>I was talking to a 8/10 girl at the time
>we had hella free time in class
> we were actually talking about Billy the Tard
>I was sitting in a small desk (keep in mind I was 6'3" at that time, 6'5" now)
>I ended up trying to put my feet behind my head
>I got one up successfully
>my betafag self thought I was somehow impressing her
>ouch over stretched my groin and my foot fell
>I hunched over in pain while my romantic interest was hysterically laughing
>my biology teacher notices me
>anon were you trying to be like Billy or something?
>ohnoshedidnt
>apparently Billy's nontard sis was in that class
>she started crying
>biology teacher looks to her
>get over it, it was joke
>mfw I actually was trying to be like Billy in that instance
>>674829612
Anymore???
>>674829146
>so it isn't lost forever
Do it right
>>674829192
Reminds me of a completely different tard story about an autist that went to my church, I'll tell that one too, I think I'm out of stories about Billy the Tard
>>674829963
What do you mean.
>>674829971
Tell any tard story's man
>>674830373
Too small , the letters looks Chinese.
>>674830373
have you never seen a greentext screen cap?
Do you live in Shirley Long Island?
This billy reminds me of that retarded kid from Shirley billy.
Okay so a story about Mike the Retarded Sasquatch Hunter
>my church had a Boy Scout troop
>for high adventure (a days long trip in the middle of nowhere) we went to the Appalachians and camped/hiked
>the scoutmaster reluctantly let Mike an autist come along
>the first day we set up camp
>Mike starts setting up his tent and then walks to the tree line for some reason
>his half pitched tent fell but he was already gone
>he proceeds to fucking uproot a thick tree and snap it over his knee
>he then threw the halves in the woods screaming
>BIGFOOT ILL GET YOU!!!!
>he calmly walks back to his tent as if nothing happened and pitched it again
>alas this was the tip of the iceberg
>our troop was alone in the woods with a tard who had convinced himself he was a Bigfoot hunter
>>674830687
I do not, I am east coast though
>>674830473
I am able to zoom in and out, the lettters wont be blurred.
>>674829519
Simply pretty much what I just posted, but one story in particular sticks out.
>me, my friends John, Tyler and Mike walking down the road
>just heading down to the bowling alley
>Smoking cigarettes because we were retarded kids and thought we were the shit
>get up to the retarded twins house, neither in sight
>keep on walking, nothing eventful really
>make it up to the park
>see tard one and tard two both running around like the retarded gorillas they are
>presumably playing the retard version of tag
>have to cut through the park to get to the bowling alley
>nearly make it past the gruesome twosome
>official tard-dar kicks in for them
>make some weird ass screech/scream sort of sound
>chase us down with old moulding that was lying next to the bathroom because it was just replaced and the city doesn't pick old shit up, just leaves it there
>realize we're going to have to fight these fat retarded fucks for at least the 40th time
>one of them manages to hit mike with the moulding, it snaps in half
>he snatches it out of their hands
We really couldn't tell the difference between the two, they were both humungously fat and wore glasses. So we have no idea which one it was
>Mike goes to hit one of them with the moulding just snatched out of their fat fingers, accidently stabs them in the man tit
>the most horrifying wail I've ever heard comes out of its mouth
>equally retarded brother goes into full-on tard rage-mode
>starts swinging another piece of moulding at us
>one of us snatches it from him, don't remember who, and we all proceed to kick the fuck out of him
>stabbed-tard continues wailing until police and an ambulance show up
>didn't get in trouble
>a year later, they're both sent off to some instution somewhere
Never saw either of them since. I can only image the monstrosity of human beings they are now
>>674830500
Yes but I don't know how to do it, I am kind of a newfag.
>>674830958
Oh god please more
Huh, tard thread. I used to go to school with a lot of tards, but I don't really have any stories about them.
>>674831764
You are a tard too, you went to a tard school for losers and genetic fuck-ups.
High Adventures with Retarded Sasquatch Hunter Pt. 2
>okay so this is the night after Mike displayed his retard strength and mercilessly killed that poor tree
>it was late at night and we were all in our indvidual tents
>almost everyone was asleep
>everyone except myself and Mike
>Mike was shouting obscenities about Bigfoot from his tent
>come and get me fucking Sasquatch!
>I'll prove you exist bitch!
>then a few coyotes started howling, they were nearing our camp
>this was nothing to worry about, they were pretty docile and we've encountered them on previous camp outs
>nonetheless Micheal thought it was a Bigfoot howling at him
>this fucking tard started howling and whooping back
>I think he got all his stuff from the shitty discovery finding Bigfoot
>he did this back and forth for HOURS
>we had a ten mile hike the next day I was mad
>so were the coyotes
>they tried to get in his tent unsuccessfully and Mike got so scared he sobbed rest of the night
>I don't think I slept at all that night
CONT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7anilDTv-w save money on hotel rooms join us today join today enjoy every one
>>674831918
Wrong, autist. Lumped us together for some reason.
>>674832018
Shut the fuck up and die.
WHY CAN'T ATHEISTS DEFINE ATHEISM?
>>674832088
Because you have a low IQ.
>>674832552
>a lack in the belief of a God
>obvious bait is obvious
>>674832603
Keep shitposting, newfriend.
>>674832884
You should look above your head every now and then, you might miss less of what people say.
Story about Mark the Tardy.
>be in grade school
>being a good Christian fag, decide to be a tards peer buddy
>enter mark
> Mark is bound to a wheel chair, can walk, but barely
> mark fucking loves basket ball
> often says random gibberish
> one day, shooting hoops with marky mark during recess
> friend of mine, lets call him Jerry comes over
> hears Mark say Uru flying space bananas
> wut?.png
> jerry starts laughing his as off
> Mark starts laughing
> jerry keeps saying uru flying space bananas
> marks tard mind can't handle the over load, goes into full hysterics, uncontrollably laughing
> then it happens
> with a rumble that would strike fear into the gods, mark begins to shit himself
> now jerry, mark and I are all laughing
> mark then reaches into his pants and proceeds to hurl his shit straight up
> the shit, travelling at mach 3 after being hurled by marks retard strength smacks into the gym ceiling with a loud smack
> shit begins to drip off ceiling onto floor around mark
Still haven't kek'd that hard since.
High Adventures With a Retarded Bigfoot Hunter Pt 3.
FINALE
>okay this actually the last day of High Adventure
>we are hiking back to where we started to head home
>Mike had been complaining the last two days about having to poop
>when offered the shovel and toilet paper he refused
>Bigfoot will get me, he said.
>we were hiking and making good pace but I was directly behind Mike
>Mike started passing gas and it was nothing short of terrible
>nonetheless we kept hiking on
>I swear to you we were literally ten minutes to finishing the week of high adventure
>Mike hunches over on the ground while ungodly noises come from his anal region
>he was shitting himself
>shit was everywhere
>up his back
>up his NECK even
>there was even shit coming from the bottom of his pants
>the smell
>THE SMELL
>considered anheroing
>he didn't bother to clean off
>my dad was waiting at the end to drive me home
>mfw we had to drive Mike the Shittard home
> that car ride was excruciating
>even with all windows open
>I was tempted to open a door
>the car stunk of tardshit for a month
>dad eventually sold that car and got a new one
THE END
I think I'm done posting tard stories I'll watch this thread though, keep it alive guys. Thanks for taking interest in myself and Billy the Tard Escape Artist
>>674832552
The full image of this is so funny
>>674829847
Sadly no, if I encounter Billy ever again (as I still am attending HS) I'll post it here on /b/
>>674833687
Thank you anon for your story's
>be me, autist
>put in school with tards
>one day staff decide to give a lecture
>tell us that we can't kiss or fuck the tards
>nigga u serious
>disgusted at the thought of touching one
>yes, they're serious
>they're afraid we'll rape tards
>mfw
>>674833062
I looked above my head and saw a light bulb, as well as my ceiling. I'm still pretty sure the definition of athiesm is not believing in a God.
Correct me if I'm wrong, though. I may be misinterpreting your superior, euphoric higher intellegence.
>>674834011
This isn't a place for fags to argue atheism vs theism
There's absolutely no way to prove of disprove God so drop it
>>674834011
Wow, I feel kind of bad.
You might actually be acoustic
>>674833866
Someone got frisky with a tard, saw it on the news lol maybe they saw that and that's why
>>674833866
god damn how degrading. they told you that specifically to degrade you for being in tard class. why do they let the people around human beings.
>>674834338
ACOUSTIC
top kek
>>674834378
these*
>>674834495
Sorry, I meat artistic
not really much of a story but here we go
>be me around tweenish age (not really sure where)
>at summer camp with my other nerdy friends
>sorta outcasters but we became cool because we were fast and good at capture the flag and dodgeball
>this tard there named jamie
>tard gets extra treatment and everyone treats him nicely even though he acts out
>younger me didnt understand this
>kinda salty but whatever
>find out later that jamie left after running around pelting kids with water balloons while holding 2 at a time and calling them titties
I still see him in my highschool but for the past 3 years he has not recognized me and im glad for it
>>674833687
MODS!
>>674835053
you can be 18 and in hs... plus as long as a underage newfag isnt trolling and is mature i really dont care
>>674819990
Alright, I'll bite but next time try to have the greentext pretyped
this thread is glorius
