feels thread? please?
i have never been more tempted to kill myself then i am currently. i'm 26, in a grad program i hate (and can't keep up with), live with my parents (bc of the grad program). i can't relate to people anymore, i have no social interaction beyond my parents and therapist. all the other students in the grad program are indian or chinese students who stick to themselves, can barely speak english (yet do better in classes than i do) and have no personality whatsoever. i graduated college, i lived on my own for four years after, then had a psychotic episode. now i'm so medicated i can barely keep my eyes open, even though i can't sleep. my psychosis was so public that everyone i used to know thinks i'm crazy. like i'm syd barrett or something... but the thing is... they're not wrong.
tl:dr feel like killing yourself tonight?
>be me
>be 23
>family has high hopes
>moved away from school from last semester before bachelor's graduation
>hate your degree
>small down person moved for the "big city life"
>iwannabeafirefighter.jpg
>constantly fighting with s.o.
>tried to commit suicide twice after move
>hates life
>should've thought about the move with s.o. thoroughly
>quit job
>no money
>may be pregnant
>inb4 tits or gtfo
>turning to my alcoholic ways
>fuck
End your pain anon and grow a pair and An Hero.
ProTip. Be better than toaster Steve you faggot.
Parents hate me, constantly trying to get me to move out, didn't live up to their expectations at all, now just some drug addict loser in their minds, can't connect with people bad with girls really over life
>>674803250
An hero?
>>674803434
Well before you go could you greentext how you got to where you are?
Join jobcore anon
>>674801779
this is a feels thread. No tits or gtfo here. It's sacred self-pitying ground.
>>674801779
op here, can relate to "turning to my alcoholic ways". from when i was 20-24 i didn't spend a day sober, i was always stoned. when i was in the psych ward after my psychotic episode they said weed was the culprit, and i shouldn't do it anymore. it's been about a year and a half since then, but for the past 4 months or so i've started smoking again. and for the past three weeks i've been smoking everyday, basically so i can say to myself "getting high tonight is better than killing myself". i'm only contempt when i am stoned yet it leads me to insanity. it's only a matter of time
>>674803443
Ignore the troll and don't feed it.
>>674801779
You sound like you're making your own problems and then cursing the world for giving you them. Move home and stop drinking until you know whether or not you're up the duff. You're still young, you have an entire lifetime to fix your problems
I cope with depression and being suicidal by looking at shitty meme and doing equally as shitty drugs c:
>>674800959
>>674801779
>>674802121
>>674802824
>>674803250
>>674803434
>>674803443
>>674803615
>>674803625
>>674803671
>>674803754
>>674803803
>>674804038
>>674804123
https://www.youtube.com/watch
v=gCiRrsmy_Po
I Wish I had A HERO INSIDE OF ME
>>674803992
I know it's a troll I talked to him like 2 days ago in a different feels thread, I'm just so confused on what the
>an hero
thing is
>>674804199
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IA3ZvCkRkQ
>>674804038
Hanging has got to be the worst form of killing yourself. Read some books on plants. Tons of crazy ways to kill yourself, it's a good hobby, and you get to read a book.
>>674800959
You graduated college and are in a grad program. Youre better off than most people...shut the fuck up the world doesn't revolve around you and your problems
>>674804341
Any recommendations bud? I'd like to look in the topic but I think typing "101 Plants that kill" won't be a book format
Went out drinking with a girl for the first time in a year, don't remember what I did but it was a big enough fuck up that drunk me walked 15km out of town to escape it. Message seen and not replied to.
>just fucking end it please
>>674804341
I know it's not the worst way but it's a shitty meme to support what I said.
Any good book ideas, I don't generally like to read.
>>674804505
herbology 101 idk. It's best to go to your local library and ask about herbs and spices.
>>674804525
Move on and limit your alcohol intake next time. Use it as a humorous anecdote
>>674804505
still, the problem is in his brain, he's fucked up
>>674804217
Lol google it.
Also, newfag
>>674804505
>>674804899
fck, wrong post
>>674800959
I feel you, xanax, meditation and philosophy have been of help to me. I hope you hold on and find a way to happiness.
>>674804851
I don't even know what I did, best case scenario is I wasted a chance with a 8/10 that I really connect with by getting to drunk and leaving, worst case I vomited on her or got into a punch up
>>674804525
"I do know one thing though. Bitches they come they go."
-Eminem
"Nobody's perfect! You live and you learn it!"
-Miley Cyrus
Two great quotes that let you know that shit happens and it's not the end of the world if a girl doesn't like you.
"Girls are like buses. Miss one next 15 one comin. Burr!"
-Gucci Mane
19 125lbs 5'9 good looking white male here. I'm kinda fucked up in the head I guess. Live with mother in a shithole apartment in a shithole town. Fighting a stupid courtcase. I have literally one friend who's like a sister to me. Don't know what I'd do without her. She's all I've got to live for.
Got 30 50mg vyvanse sitting in my closet. I'm tempted everyday to just take um all. Feels bad man.
>>674804217
an hero = commit suicide
Offing yourself now will just make life terrible for your parents, keep try anon or you'll miss out on all the good life has to offer. Find a change in environment if it'll help, talk to someone if needed. Stay up
>>674800959
When you don't like it, make a change. What Thing do make you happy?
>>674800959
dude almost same for me, ill be killing myself on monday morning tho, all planned.
>>674805093
anon don't worry about it. I've been passed out drunk a couple of times with people I don't really trust or know that well. I just moved on and I never think about it except as a silly part of my life.
>>674805222
Get a job at Burger King and move your way up the corporate ladder.
>>674805876
dam.. shotgun to the rescue..
>>674805290
Every time I get down and feel like my entire world is just down the fucking drain and I'm so engulfed in stress that there's nothing I can do I just listen to Frank Sinatra - High Hopes.
This video exactly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJVewWbeBiY
I have no idea why the fuck it works but it does. I guess because it reminds me of an earlier time in my life where I was happy. I got it from watching the movie Antz. It's on the credits or something. I'd be over my dad's girlfriend's house for the summer and her older son put the movie on for me because he loved it and he knew it like verbatim. I thought the guy was cool so I liked the movie too.
>>674805222
I'd flush that shit down if I were you. I would've taken pills hundreds of time if I weren't too lazy or scared to get a hold of them. All hundreds of times I'm glad I never did anything stupid, I'm just drinking alcohol nowadays and feeling really bad keeps me from drinking dangerous amounts. If you feel really down, you can drink enough to make you feel bad, just to "punish yourself" as you do. Flush those fucking pills anon.
>>674804365
what are you implying? i don't see how either of those things makes me "better off", especially considering my crippling student debt.
>>674805290
I'm not asking for help in this thread, but you are an idiot... Depressed people hate people like you. The problem with depression is that nothing makes you happy. You have nothing to motivate you and you don't care whether if you live or die. On the other hand, you're not very sad when you're depressed, you're mostly just numb, and you feel like you want everything to end, because you're just waiting to become old and die, if you can entertain yourself until that happens, then you will.
>>674806278
You gotta intern with a big company and sometimes they'll pay for your grad school.
>>674806687
At least you're not addicted to crack
>>674806687
This, spot on mate, well said. I just wish there was a magical cure of some sort, at least I don't have any kind of substance abuse except maybe I like binging on junk food.
>>674806278
Because you have a key to a fucking terrific life, but your letting your stupid mindset to get in your way.
>>674806211
I usually give um to my sister to sell just so I don't take um. Prolly guna give um to her tomorrow
But when I have um it's tempting.
>>674806124
I know such memories. Sounds if it is all to much. So why don't step back with everything. I mean why should you kill yourself? Do not do the things you don't like. When it is necessary live as a fucking hippie or do some simple stuff to get money. Why should you toture yourself with shit you don't like?
>>674801779
are you hot though
>>674807888
nice trips faggot
>>674807888
Nice trips, and it's not about how they look always, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
>>674800959
i guess in general im just tired. I live alone, work, have a job, just got a girl who ive had a crush on for some time. Problem is, my job is as a temp in a factory. There is a possibility of full-time, for more pay exellent benefits ect. Problem is the companies hiring process is stressful. They drag it out over a month or so and your in competition with a bunch of other temps. So basically everyones at each others throats. I want out, but there isnt many jobs in town, and im saving for a car, but im not quite there. Want to go to school but cant afford it. Want friends but social anxiety and a mess of other issues, mild tourettes, ect, keep me pretty much alone. Am probably going to go to truck driving school this fall and go drive semi for awhile. Driving is one of the things i enjoy, and am good at. At least then i wont have to deal with people as much.
>>674807888
trips = have to answer
>>674805222
trips = gods
>>674803625
>jobcorp
>Does not exhibit behavioral problems that could keep him, her, or others from experiencing Job Corps’ full benefits.
>Does not use drugs illegally.
>>674807687
I don't think humanity was meant to live this way. I think it's a great idea to just not do what stresses you out. But I want certain things and this stress is the only legal way to get it.
>>674800959
Hey, OP. 37 year old, semi-suicidal fag here. I have a theory on this, and it's simply that by living in the current cultures and lifestyles, we are forced to do things that go against our genetic code. This makes us all crazy, prinarily because not a single person in out lives is really doing what they want to do, deep down, in our primitive brains. Yes, our brains have not transcended even close to the extent many would try to have you believe.
A trick I've found that works is this: find something that makes you feel the way you feel, i.e., not wanting to face a difficult or unknown situation, not wanting to interact with people, etc. What is it about these situations that cause anxiety or discomfort?
Often, at least in my experience, these situations are all cultural or societal norms that were contrived for one reason or another - they didn't likely happen organically or for the betterment of society. Rather these situations that cause us anxiety were likely contrived as a form of control, serving as an advantage for a particular interest, which is usually money.
I just remind myself of these things in these situations, and when I feel really bad, I watch or read some Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking, or other astronomy-related shit, if only to remind me that our current priorities as a species are arbitrary. And life really is unique, and we shouldn't waste it by feeling bad about situations we can not control, and likely were created without the idea in mind of how miniscule we are.
>>674809308
Perspective. I just like to go outside and look up for mine.
>>674807273
Stick to the sugar man. I would binge eat for years when I felt like shit. I gained a shit load of weight and felt shitty about my appearance, then I switched to opiates. Lost all the weight, worked out to avoid the junkie look. I'd trade the pills for the fat in a heartbeat
>>674809611
My nigga
>>674809784
Ever think of rehab?
Is it wrong to know how I would kill myself even if I don't necessarily want to at this moment? It's entirely painless.
How do you guys get the courage to talk to people?
Even on here I am afraid to talk to people or tell my story. I don't want to be judged even though I know it won't happen.
>>674809308
To add to this, reading some Daniel Quinn helps you feel justified in being upset with the current direction of humanity.
"The Story of B" is a great book, and I often read it whenever I need to be reminded of why the things we're doing that make no sense to me are a by-product of both deliberate intention and human egocentrism.
>>674809127
But it sounds like if you have a plan for your life. Even when it is just to pass the grad and then live in certain. I just try this by myself. Sorry for bad english btw
>>674810393
In my experience from trying to get outside my comfort zone, you just have to talk to people. Even quick a quick chat helped my confidence a little more.
Hmm only Indians and Chinese people in your grad program.. sounds like Computer Engineering. Hang in there man. How about you finish your grad program, try getting an internship / interviews for full-time positions, and see how you do from there when you move out? Worth a shot.
You still have a long life to live after school and moving out from your parents place. It'll be awesome. Also there's more Star Wars, Marvel, and more video games to watch and play in the future. Would be great to be alive for that.
>>674810778
But my comfort zone is my happy place, I want to stay in here and not leave it
>>674809784
So i'm guessing you're still on the pills, maybe try to slowly ween of them, half a pill a week per say. I'm starting to get embarrassed by appearance but don't have the motivation or self esteem to go the gym. I bought some walking shoes and i'm going to start walking in the countryside ,as I like nature and it helps my stress as well as the fact I won't really see it as exercise. Good luck with the opiates mate.
>>674806687
I just hope that i can watch back on a joyfull life when I die. I can understand why you think I am an idiot
Vyvanse fag posting again.
The one thing that makes me feel somewhat normal is going for walks while I smoke cigs and listen to music. But I can barley do that cuz of this stupid 65 year-old freak guy who lives in the apartment complex. He calls the cops on me and my upstairs neighbor lying about both of us. I really fucking hate him. These apartments are for old people and he trys to control everyone here.
It's because of him and him alone that I'm stuck in the house all day everyday. I spend literally 20 hours a day on a couch. Haven't been outside the ammount of hours in one week in the past 5 months.
Really fucking hate my life.
>>674805370
Don't. Just don't. There is absolutely no reason to kill yourself. Things might seem bad now, but it will get better. Just hang in there, and hope for the best.
>>674809884
I work in the kind of job where going to rehab would be career suicide
>>674811644
Trick him into calling the cops on a cop. End of the line suddenly.
>>674811047
If you're fine with being alone all the time, that's a conscious decision you'll have to live with. I felt the same way before (and still do sometimes), but talking to people with the intent to understand and not reply has led to me having great conversations at times which made me shift my perception in a positive way.
>>674811084
Sometimes it's under control, other times I binge. I ween off and then go full blown. That's a good idea, the walking. I did it, though in not so pretty London, with audiobooks. If you can ever get into running/weights it's just about breaking the first month or so. Once you see even minor results it stops being a chore. You'll do it mate, plus you can go dogging on your walks
>>674811715
May I ask what you do?
>>674812240
it hurts, it always seems like people view me as a broken record when I open up.
>>674800959
Duuuuude do what they fucking do. BUY THE SHITTY TIME WASTER ASSIGNMENTS ONLINE IE PAY SOMEONE TO DO IT. That way you can actually study.. thank me later
>>674812110
I like to me alone, I'm completely fine with it.
>>674800959
already posted this exact same text on /fit/ feels thread but it is now ded and i have nobody to talk about this
Nothing that serious, i would just like to know whats going on
>mire girl 1 long time
>talk to her
>she was mirin back the whole time
>says she doesnt want anything serious
>alright bitch i could use a gf but ok
>we go on dates, i lose virginity to her
>start talking to girl 2 and go on date
>girl 1 causes major drama
>stoped talking to girl 1
>girl 2 no thinks i am in a relationship with girl 1 and says she wont want to be with someone in a relationship
>i try to explain i am alone but it sounds like im bullshiting her
>a few weeks pass
>keep talking to girl 2
>she talk about future dates between us
>she says shes bored and that there is nothing to do in our small town
>think to myself "alright son time to make a move"
>i tell her something like "do you wanna hang out? we could make out to pass time"
>she brings that whole "i dont want to have something with someone on a relationship"
what the fuck /fit/?? i dont get it
if she doesnt want something with me why the fuck would she bring future dates up??
i swear i dont get it
>>674800959
tell me more about your psychotic episode?
i worked for 2 years after college then had severe panic disorder for a year and a half, thank god not psychotic but still fucked my shit up, made me move back home and get treatment
i too am in a grad program now, shit's rough
>>674812220
I understand man, even though my sugar addiction is petty in comparison to opiates I get the same cravings and 'ween offs' I guess it's just about sticking the 'ween off' period out and trying to replace the addiction with something else. I live in Manchester and it's even less pretty here but I could always drive out to somewhere like Glossop and go walking round there with my spotify playlist and a good book. I was also thinking about getting into running to shed my excess weight quickly, might do it. Haha not so sure about dogging, most girls where I live have countless STDs especially ones in bushes. Cheers for the advice, have a nice night mate and all the best with your pill problems. Night.
>>674805876
Ha having the same shit happen to me rn so I said fuck it if she isn't gonna give up the pussy she ain't gonna get any attention from me now she is pissed off at me funny how some women think they can have it both ways I ain't gonna act like your fucking puppy stupid bitch
>>674812589
Banking. No drug policy but also no tests
I want someone in my life really bad
It just isn't the same thing without love
Yet I'm terrible at falling in love
>>674800959
>chinese or indian
>cant keep up
chemistry or engineeringfag detected
protip: get a degree in mideval organic farming history instead
protip #2: learn to say "would you like fries with that?" for the career that will qualify you for.
protip #3: don't come to /b/ expecting to get actual support faggot
>>674813314
Damn, at least you're making good money, I guess you could say...
You're making bank B)
>>674810998
>sounds like Computer Engineering
op here, ot$ & kek'd
>more Star Wars
my nigga
thanks for the lift man
>>674813168
>especially ones in bushes.
oh my sides thanks bruh
i hope you do start running btw, it's been a life-saver for me after quitting alcohol + xanax
>>674813530
profip #4: don't kill yourself. you know why.
I just realized how bad my drinking problem is
>>674813659
I'll try my best mate, I think it might just be the think my life needs right now. Night
>i have no social interaction beyond my parents and therapist
then stop posting on 4chan u cuck. You're a 26 yr old man, you can go out there and find friends instead of sobbing on this shit site.
>>674813790
How much a day, anon?
>>674801779
Fuck your family's high hopes femanon. You gotta do what's best for you and not just submit to what other people want. Hope things get better.
>>674814183
Enough to forget the color of her eyes
>>674814183
not that guy but i drink about a bottle of jack a day unless i have weed which then i drink about a half.
>>674813625
if computer engineering, good news is you do NOT need a graduate degree to advance in industry. in fact it is probably a detriment.
>true story
if other anon (i.e. me) is right and it is chemistry, the exact opposite is true. you will almost never advance wothout a Ph.D. in chemistry. unless API. those fuckers seem to get away with it.
>>674813530
oh dear, a shameless attempt at edge turns into massive cringe. what a mess.
>>674813314
banking? how the fuck do hou get a graduate degree in banking and how the fuck are they all chinese and indian and how the fuck can you not keep up? or how the fuck did i confiuse you with OP?
>>674813573
Haha The money is good but I work in wealth banking so I spend 9 hours a day listening to rich people who know nothing about banking telling me about banking. Maybe it's time to go after my childhood dream of mugging tourists and squatting! Money only buys happiness if you have a fuckton
>>674814727
judt the facts ma'am. nothing but the facts
>>674814807
I am not OP. I'm guessing OP was studying engineering
>>674803443
newest of the new fags
>>674814414
That's pretty hardcore man. How long have you been hitting it that hard?
I Only got friends that i drink with or get high with Dont know how to get out of it.
>>674813530
was wondering when the true autists would start showing up
>>674814809
How much money is considered a fuck ton Mr.banker?
And you have a great dream to go after
>>674810393
For me it started with breaking it down into baby steps because I was putting this unreasonable pressure of myself to do it all perfectly at one time. Ask the grocery store clerk how they are? Great. Smile at the person in the hallway? Ok. It wasn't a fast or easy process but in time I found myself more opened up to people and as I focused on self-care (eating clean, exercise, positive self-talk) I developed more confidence in myself and my story and I worried less about how others perceived me. There's always gonna be people who misunderstand you or want only to hurt you. I think the key is to see the big picture. 10 years from now, 30 years from now, would you still be worrying about it? There's more to life than your mind anon. Good luck.
>>674815522
Nice double dubs and I'll be sure to try that, thanks man
>19
>high school dropout
>live with my parents
>no job
>no GED
>no license
>no friends
>no drive to do anything
>just sit in my room all day doing nothing
>every day I wanna kill myself even more
I never say anything because I don't want the pity. I'm just not motivated to do anything and I just hate it all.
>>674816225
What's stopping you from doing any of those things? Take some meds if that's what you need to get your shit together
>>674811692
I tried suicide and it failed. It's been two years since then. When exactly does it get better?
My co-worker and friend is having a going away party tonight and I want to go. I lost my license for about another 5 months and I had some potential rides set up but it looks like they all fell through. I got my friend a poster made at FedEx kinkos that's sort of a gag but everyone at work thought it was funny. Wish I could give it to him tonight, but it looks like I'll be home alone again. I have zero social interaction outside of going to work and even there I work alone in a lab. I know the license stuff is my own damn fault, but this loneliness really is terrible.
>>674816333
Nice trips
But I have to disagree with you.
>>674816225
You shouldn't take meds they are addictive, they are mood altering with many sideffects, you will be come dependent on then and stuck buying meds to be happy even when you should be happy without them.
>>674815242
cant remember i guess since i first tried it
>>674815520
Enough to retire and dedicate your life to things that make you happy/helping others whilst being financially stable enough for things like a family. A house. All that bollocks
>>674815893
You're welcome. And just one last thought you might find helpful - no one has it all figured out; some are just better actors than others. Take care :)
>>674816333
>>674816629
I was thinking about going to see a therapist but I don't want to take meds if they are just going to mask the problem. Every time I schedule for a GED class I reschedule it and I just keep putting it off I don't know what to do.
>>674800959
OP can you describe how your psychotic episode went?
I'm 21 and have been drinking every night since 18 and quit about a month ago because it was destroying my life. Ever since I feel I am in this dream state all the time and sometimes have serious hallucinations and anxiety followed with not being able to talk well or think well, and major paranoia and delusions about people looking at me or talking behind my back. I feel like I will snap one day and get a full on psychotic episode which will land me in a mental ward. These events are recurring more frequently as time moves on and I really don't want to be crazy, but i can't seem to help it..
>>674816569
Harsh man. Is a taxi, bus, train out of the question? I was under the impression you white coat guys got comfortable money?
>>674816967
>>674816899
>>674816784
I feel popular 3 posts directed at me all in a row.
Did anyone happen to screen cap the Shaun post last night?
>>674816732
I know you've heard it before but that amount will do significant damage to your body. Are you in a position where you can get professional help to detox?
>>674817666
i like it this way :)
>>674814539
I fucking hate this picture
Getting old was always terryfing for me...
Night guys thanks for the company, means a lot
>>674818309
Sleep well, /b/rother. Dream of serenity
>>674817301
The chemical plant I work at is in a small town north of Pittsburgh, PA. There aren't any taxis or buses. I'm close enough to work to walk and I do when I work crazy hours. Usually a guy on my crew gives me a lift but sometimes I go in early or stay late. Anyway, yeah, money isn't a issue I think I'm paid well, but it sucks having a paid off car sitting in my garage that I run for 20 minutes every other day or so so that the battery doesn't die. I have reasons to be happy but when you're never around people you slowly turn on yourself and I'm just sad a lot. It sucks going in the next work week and hearing about how much fun everyone had. Oh, well, about 5 more months as I said...
>>674817990
How old are you?
>>674818715
go traveling dude
>>674818792
turning 23 in less than a month
>>674818715
Stay strong man. I hope one of those flakey motherfuckers pulls through for you. If not, you always have us fags
>>674815409
just the facts young lady. just the facts. and tits or gtfo
>>674819185
I guess you need to find your own point at which you need to stem the flow. Sidenote; which day in April? I'm 24 on the 24th
>>674817037
Sounds like you kicked the booze too quickly, should have weaned yourself off it slowly. Get to the docs and grab some anxiety meds
>>674816225
who are you trying to kid anon? you get baked and play vidya and surf b all day. that's not nothing.
>>674816569
ever heard of uber or friends faggot?
>>674816569
lab rat
at least the money is good. hence: use uber to go out faggot
>>674800959
>23
>went to college on a scholarship
>could have had a great degree
>do a lot of drugs, drink a lot of alcohol
>drop out
>stop doing drugs, still drink copious amounts of alcohol
>get shit job
>still drink copious amounts of alcohol
>go to work hungover every day
>go fishing after work most days
>love life
The key to happiness is to go fishing and become an alcohol
>>674819689
you are less than a year older than me :) 23rd
>>674820361
You better not be sarcastic, because society is the only thing that makes you not chase after your dreams.
>>674820361
If you think you can keep up that lifestyle you're only fooling yourself. I'd love to see you write "love life" after maintaining this for another 5 years.
>>674818715
walk it off faggot. 5 months is nothing. stop being so reperesentative of your faggot age group expecting everything instantly. thats not life.
seriously. walk it iff and stop being such a faggot.
>>674800959
take some lsd and you'll get all the answers you need
>>674821126
i've done almost every psychedelic in the book, acid 6 times. it's fun but wears off. it hasn't helped.
>>674821126
How is lad helping you exactly?
I never taken it but I'm curious and maybe try out
>>674820710
I honestly don't understand what you're saying. I truly do love my life, currently at least. I love fishing, and I'm really good at it. I also just like being fucked up, there's no psychological or depression issue behind my drinking.
>>674820745
I don't understand what you're saying either. I've been with the same girl for 3 years and we definitely both love each other. If you're saying that I won't be happy with my way of life in a few years, well, I'm still young and have plenty of time to improve. But I'm positive I'll still love fishing and drinking for a long time. My job? Probably not so much. I'll find something better eventually, but I'm pretty sure there's very few people in the world who can say they actually enjoy their job anyway.
Get positive, you fucks. Stop being so down on yourselves all of the time.
>>674817037
it's such a long story, but yes - what you are describing sounds exactly like psychosis. i got to the point where i was driving in random directions on the highway to fool the people in the other cars from knowing where i was going. i thought everyone was following me. when the police got involved, shit got ugly, and i got arrested.
you should get help now, knowing that you are losing touch with reality, before you actually do
>>674821817
>get positive
>is an alcohol and doesn't shows the slightest hint there's something bad with being an alcohol
>>674821817
Be mindful of the drinking man. A lot of an alcohols start this way. Not to be cliché but it sounds like textbook denial
>>674813095
>tell me more about your psychotic episode?
i completely lost touch with reality. i thought i was buddha reincarnate, i thought i needed to drive to san francisco to be a part of a massive breeding orgy for the next generation of humans. i thought i was one of the first of millions to "awake from what life was". i was full of energy, never slept, talked a million miles an hour (mostly nonsensical). the worst part of psychosis is whatever you think, it's fact in your mind. like, say, you are driving and a song on the radio comes on that you love. you automatically think that it was played just for you. you think every mirror is a two way mirror. it was fucking terrifying.
what meds are you on? i was diagnosed as BP1 initially but was bumped back to massive depressive disorder after i had stopped taking recreational drugs. i'm on adderall, wellbutrin, lamictal and gabapentin.
