What, no feminist hate thread?
Let's fix that.
>storytime
>still in college
>working for my grandmother's company. Grandma runs it all. She is an Iron Bitch who was a Rosie during WWII, and bought properties around the college town when the guys who used their GI bills to get houses defaulted on the loans.
>for fifty years my grandma rented to college students and kept every place up to snuff. The old lady with the toolbox was the one who fixed your shit and didn't give you crap if you broke a window getting hammered
>but grandma fucking hated "feminists", especially ones who told her she wasn't free
>because fuck you, she sent a husband off to war, he died, and she raised their adopted daughter by herself, then got married and buried HIM in Korea, then got married AGAIN and he turned out to be flamingly gay so she called it quits
>Grandma's business is called Will Smith & Sun LLC
>this factors in later
>I work for grandma during the school year
>so one of Grandma's prime rentals is a 4bd 3ba house with beautiful "charm" and plumbing
>a prominent attorney's spoiled brat daughter has heart set on living in this house, but surprise, doesn't understand that old houses = old plumbing
>"OMG, the toilet is all backed up and gross!"
>in every contract grandma makes sure to state that in the event we go out and clear a clog, and it's a fucking tampon or maxipad, the residents get a one-off. But after that they pay for either a plumber themselves or for a $150 per hour plus $150 fee tacked on to that month's rent
>Oh yes, this does indeed continue
Continued from
>>674693750
>I have basic plumbing skills enough to snake a fucking toilet and grandma basically said if I work for her through college she'll give me one of the houses to get me started - to sell, fix up, rent, whatever
>$200k right out of college? Um, yeah.
>but it means I deal with the shit jobs grandma doesn't want to do any more
>like entitled freshmen spoiled cunt women's studies majors who flush tampons down aging plumbing systems
>24 hour notice given
>knock on door, "OMG we didn't know you were coming!!!"
>point to notice on door
>do you not open the door?
>oh. Um.
>I can come back tomorrow, but I have to post another notice on your door, and the toilet won't get fixed
>we tried fixing it ourselves because we can do it!
>look from moron child to poster behind her
>just show me the toilet please
>grandma and I ran a crew of four people to clean every house to HER standards before it rents, and this bathroom was clean enough to conduct surgery in
>now, my god, the smell. The fucking smell
>there are hairs on the toilet bowl
>there are hairs and shitstains on the side of the tub from where someone sat on it along with blood
>the floor is caked with body fluids
>I am thanking god I wear elbow-length gloves, eyegoggles and a mask because I can STILL FUCKING SMELL THIS bathroom
>idiot cunt says we cleaned yesterday
>okay sure whatever
>plunge it
>nope
>pull out the snake, snake it
>and oh my, a fucking tampon
>girl says "why would that clog it? We flush them all the time"
Continued from
>>674693949
>look at her and say it's in your contract that you do not flush tampons, maxipads, or anything other than human waste and toilet paper. This is the first gratis visit, we'll charge after that
>she launches on a tear about how men don't understand women have needs and how could they not flush something like that, can't leave it around, and anyway menstruation is natural
>stand up and say be that as it may you need to read your lease agreement again
>oh mom is a lawyer and she said we could ignore that
>ah-huh. Okay, well, you'll be held to the legally binding agreement you signed
>whatever, does it work?
>flush toilet
>yes
>good get out
>i leave, update grandma on the status, hear grandma give a little grunt that says she's narrowing her eyes
>four days later, toilet is overflowing again
>this time it's the upstairs bedroom toilet
>grandma marks it down on the billing and sends me with the official letter
>go out, snake it, yep, it's a fucking tampon
>god why are you making such a big deal about this it's just a tampon
>if you flush a tampon, it will clog the pipes. If it clogs the pipes it will do damage to the wastelines. If it damages the waste lines you will be held responsible.
>whatever get out
>>674693949
Girl sounds like an autist
Continued from
>>674694063
>this happens three more times in a week
>grandma gets a phone call from lawyer lady
>you should really make your sewer system work properly, my daughter says the toilets don't stop clogging
>she isn't supposed to flush her tampons, ma'am
>I don't know what kind of men you have running that place, but women can flush tampons and they don't clog the system
>I see grandma's eye twitch
>That's as may be, but she has had my man there five times so far, and she will be charged accordingly
>do you know who I am?
>grandma smiles and says "No. Should I care?" and hangs up
>>674694181
>this happens two more months in a fucking row
>tampons get stuck, I snake them out
>finally the last pull I tell grandma it's not worth it
>I describe the shithole that the house has become
>they have burned cigarette holes in the carpeting
>they have broken a window and not called to get it fixed
>they didn't want to call me on one of them so they used the fucking tub to shit and piss in and shoved the toilet paper in the toilet
>grandma leans back and says "next one I'll take"
>next call comes in
>grandma takes her four-footed cane, her toolbox, and puts on her overalls
>to put this in perspective this is like a samurai preparing for battle, except with a fucking repeating samurai sword launcher that also shoots ninjas and poison toads
>she leaves, is gone for 2-3 hours
>I get worried, grandma is never gone this long doing ANYTHING, and it's not a huge town
>get call from police station, grandma is down there
>she's calmly eating donuts with her hands handcuffed in front of her while four cops - all late career, all laughing their asses off with her, are seeing her hold court
>come in, and sargeant says your grandmother said you could make her bail
>what the fuck happened?
>>674694387
>so apparently this time little daughter dearest called mumsy, who was visiting, and who hired a staff of maids to clean the house top to bottom...when the toilet backed up
>mumsy decided to show daughter dearest how to handle those patriarchal bastards
>in walks my grandma smoking a fucking cigar
>grandma doesn't say a word, just takes a camera out and snaps pics of the damage to her house, including the broken leaded glass in the door
>still smoking the cigar after being thanked politely for not smoking, grandma stomps upstairs, pulls out the snake, and snakes out a tampon from not one, but two fucking toilets
>doesn't say a word while mumsy and daughter say "see, it's the plumbing's fault, you should be able to flush anything"
>grandma puts the cigar out
>pulls out the sheaf of notices that have gone unpaid along with a copy of the contract
>you signed this when you moved in. This area is highlighted. And you guaranteed it
>points to mumsy and daughter, and indicates the toilet clause
>they start arguing with her
>>674694504
>grandma nods, considers their proposal, then with absolute perfect aim hurls the tampon she pulled into mumsy's mouth
>daughter screams
>grandma donates one to her too
>says consider that your 24 hour fucking eviction notice reminder
>while they're busy vomiting on each other grandma stomps out
>sits down and waits for the sheriff
>grandma slaps an eviction notice for lack of payment and physical damage up on the door - backdated 24 hours
>cops show up
>out comes mumsy demanding grandma get arrested for assault
>cops have legally binding order to evict residents
>grandma is just smoking her cigar
>finally mumsy slaps a cop, and that pretty much does for it
>back of the car
>grandma gets arrested because she admits to throwing the tampons at the women but not that she actually aimed at them - saying "my palsy is so bad and my grandson is home sick"
>>674694588
That fucking ending
>>674694588
>end of story time
>woman is a lawyer - but not a very good one, on the verge of being disbarred
>daughter flunks out, guess who lost her roommates and didn't tell mommy
>we go to court, get judgement against them, blah blah blah
>grandma eventually winds up owning the lady's repoed pride-and-joy Mercedes Benz and tools around town smoking cigars in it dressed in the scummiest of clothes
>grandma takes pictures of it and sends it to mumsy as payback for the house periodically just because grandma is that kind of evil bitch
>about the house
>we wind up purging the house entirely and redoing it in a full reno
>grandma is finally happy with it and says she's moving back in
>wait what
>tells me that she and her first husband bought the lot and built the house when they had nothing and made it something, then he died, and she couldn't bear to live in it any longer, so she moved out and rented it to college girls and lived near the factory, then used the money to buy another place, and another, and it kept going
>then she pulls off a panel to what I always thought was a boarded up dumbwaiter
>there's oak paneling underneath with a beautifully hand-carved "Willamena and William Smith & Sons Tailoring"
>tells me her first husband sewed, so they made him a medic, and he got killed four minutes after being in a combat zone
This is a playlist of 'dating advice' aka double standards of self centered entitled bitches telling men how to worship them.
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>>674695120
>tells me she wishes she could have gone to war and kept him home safe because she was sure she could fight and work better than most men (and at 88 she was hauling toilets out of houses, so I believe her)
>she didn't know what to do with the house later on until she realized what an idiot bitch was doing, and living in the house that made everything she was a laughingstock
>she lived ten more years in that house
>she would get women's studies majors come talk to her about working as a Rosie during the war who then hurried away because grandma told them how full of shit they were about everything they were learning
>and because she was my grandma she left a fucking tampon dangling from the highest chandelier in the house from the first day she moved in to the house to the day she died
>to this day if I see a house with a chandelier I look for a tampon dangling from it
>just because if I see one I'll know grandma's around somewhere
So here's to my grandma. The toughest bitch that I ever knew who kicked the shit out of anyone who tried to call her a feminist icon, and laughed in the faces of the idiot women who believed feminine solidarity meant getting away with stupid shit you did because you happened to have a vagina.
And who apparently posed for a bunch of nude pics that I only found five years after she died taken sometime in 1939.
To the dirtiest old bitch I ever knew. Cheers.
>>674695291
>>674694370
Fuck you.
>>674693750
Thanks op, good read.
>>674695802
Shit. I got tears from that. Your grandma was something else. If only we had more like her. Thanks for the share.
>>674695802
Thanks for the story OP, would totally operate in Syria with your Grandma.
>>674695802
that was a quality post.
sleep tight nanna
>>674695802
Is that pic her? Holy shit dat ass!! I would not blame you one bit for spankin it to your grandma
Sounds like my grandma. Cept my grandma was a cars salesman in the 70s not a laborer. She would still swing on a mofo today, after she puts her drink down.
>>674694063
TIL plumbing is sexist
quality thread. today, OP was not a faggot.
>>674694181
ur nan looks good for an old gal.
>>674695802
i just had a justice orgasm
>>674695120
>>674695802
I shall dub thine grandmother the "Tampon Tosser"
good shit, op
>>674697539
Fuck man, she'd laugh her ass off at that. She told the story to pretty much anyone who'd listen.
Half the cops once they retired hung out on the back porch with her because she had cheap whiskey and cigars, and didn't give a fuck. Plus, her 2nd husband was the city sheriff - which is why any time she got caught for speeding they'd just wave her through.
When she lost her eyesight and couldn't drive three of them took turns to drive her around to appointments in their cars, and would browbeat rookies into taking her to the doctor's if they couldn't pick her up.
>>674695802
Good shit OP. Somebody screen cap this
OP delivers quality content.
Please screencap this
>>674698114
This x1000 and post it in every pro-feminism thread ever.
