As a suicidally depressed anon anything.
As well, if you are depressed or suicidal, seek medical attention.
bumpu
What a boring morning.
I've thought about getting help but I end up doing nothing and just sit in my room wasting away
why not smile, step up and become the person you wish you were?
>>674554837
Then you need to go get help more than anything.
>>674554908
I'm not depressed because I'm not the person I want to be. Also, forcing a smile isn't exactly pleasant.
>>674554957
You're probably right but part of me doesn't want help. I just want to die. Pretty much everyday for at least a year or so now I've thought about suicide. Only thing keeping me around right now is my dog but even then shit gets worse each day. I've just slowly stopped caring, lost all motivation and want it all to turn off
>>674555317
Okay, but all of that means you need help even more.
It gets better with treatment; would you rather suffer a thousand days, or just one?
Hey op - How you doin?
>>674555423
In my shower, so cannot complain! You?
>>674553722
You need to change this mood or convert it in an interest for something that might be useless but that'll make you having the impression to do something with your life. Do it for you or for the ppl you care about. For the cheer up you're in the wrong place, you better mention this to someone who will help you taking care about your business. Nice dubs btw
>>674555655
Yeah, I don't have a "mood", I have "major depressive disorder". I'm diagnosed, I have a support network and therapist, and guess what? Treatment doesn't always work.
That's just life man, no peptalk is gonna change it.
>>674555781
Why make a thread about it then? Your disorder is not a physical disease, maybe some lack of melatonine and the pills messing with you even more than your thoughts. I'm not looking down on what you have but you should give it less importance if you want to move on.
>>674555506
Cool. Im on a shower "detox" lol otherwise i'd probarly be too. Anyhow, Try and find a partner, it helps alot
>>674555957
You think the mental is not also the physical? I have a brain don't I, isn't that physical?
Your understanding of how mental disorders work is childish. One cannot simply ignore depression and move on; in my case, it is a genetic disorder. I will have it for my entire life.
How condescending of you to say such things.
>>674556003
Why do you assume I do not have a partner?
>>674553722
You can eventually enjoy the bright side of life. It's not there. Try anywhere else really. Good luck
>>674556220
I'm an anon, not a girl.
>>674556238
That was the most useless sentiment I've heard all week.
>>674556285
glad you perceived what's important then
>>674553722
sup. been depressed 7+ years, suicidal for 2. How you gonna get out? I live 2 minutes away from a local welding supply so I can buy a 5ft cylander of helium/n2/argon and proper fittings no questions asked. Panning on going very soon
>>674556632
Stop wasting my time.
>>674556643
Seek medical attention
>>674556718
How you gonna get out?
>>674556929
I'm not.
>>674556961
So then what are your plans for the future? get better? sit alone with your suicidal thoughts?
>>674557077
There ain't no gettin' better for genetic disease.
Who said I was alone?
>>674556140
I think you're making a handicap out of your brain. Stop that victim shit it's boring, that's not a life. I might ignore the details but the situation is pretty clear here. You are crying on how unfortunate you life is, and thus are conviced that you'll never be "happy". Well guess what, happiness doesn't exist and /b/astards laugh about it.
>>674557275
Okay so you're gonna tough through it. I can respect that. Some of us are too deep in it to help ourselves. People kill themselves all the time. no biggie.
>>674557366
Yeah, first, no where did I say I was crying, and my life isn't unfortunate. I'm also not convinced of anything; I have a genetic disorder that results in major clinical depression.
It's amazing how condescending you are about things you clearly don't understand.
>>674557451
I'm not toughing it out. This is my life. Embracing it is the only logical response.
It's not the best life, but it's not the worst. I'd prefer having it with my skin on and not grafted, but eh.
>>674557528
Do you work for a living?
>>674557528
so you have suicidal thoughts? have you planned a suicide that you know will succeed? if so, how?
>>674557849
Yes I do
>>674558067
Yeah im not giving you suicide plans dude
Have you ever have a plan for suicide?
Have you just ever been so mad you we're punching the walls so hard you have scars on your hand?
Do you ever feel excluded from your usual friends with whom you hang out?
Did you feel heartbroken after you found out the first person you fell in love cheated on you just 3 days before she said "I love you"?
How do you cope with the feeling of regret?
Why doesn't it feel good to get encouragment from few people that you can still relate to?
Why every day I feel like I'm loosing people from my life?
Just why does this keep happening?
>>674558162
Because depression. Seek medical help.
>>674558217
Also, coming to you live from an nyc bus, if anyone is wondering.
>>674557473
Well I guess that if your life isn't unfortunate and if your not crying because of the vision you have on it I might also add to the diagnosis a critical lack of objectivism ? I think you are stubborn to imagine that your recovery is impossible, it's a real distress. I'm not condescending, I think you are the one looking down on yourself because you understand so much what it's aaall about. Now I think I made my point. I wish you the best anon.
>>674558217
I don't know man, I want to keep on living, but shit's hard, for every 1 thing I do right there just 5 things that go badly
>>674558480
Let me look here sonny jim; doesn't seem to be any medical diagnosis for lack of objectivism, sorry!
As for the rest, ignored. Genetic disorders rarely respond to pep talks.
>>674558587
>>674558587
So start doing more things right.
getting some barbituates and sleep aids
and doing the bag over the head sleep trick
should be dead by tomorrow, a few things i need to clear up first
>>674558906
That'sa terribly painful way to die.
>>674558731
>asking someone who believes they can't do anything right to "just start doing things right"
may as well shoot him yourself
>>674558935
no its not, ive researched it thoroughly
im in a phenobarbital coma before i know what happens,
>>674558906
whered you get the barbituates? Nembutal I assume? I don't trust online suppliers..
>>674558731
So I've been told, seems kinda funny now, when I ruined soo many relationships, even called a failure in life by my own parents, shit
>>674558940
Hey, its what he needs to do. One doesn't change ones opinion of themselves without some sort of trigger. Success is as good as any other.
>>674558993
No you really wont
>>674559009
You just have to try, anon.
>>674558997
on the street, actually. i was going to do a morphine OD, because its restricts breathing better than heroin. but my contact fell through
you could make due with mixing xanax and maybe soma, but take an anti emetic 25 minutes before hand. no point puking all over yourself.
>>674559096
> No you really wont
post a source
because a pheno coma puts you out, are you retarded?
itt privileged white 1st world kids who are ignorant to the world and real problems and use a diagnosis as a crutch.
>>674558906
don't forget to clear up your head as well!
>>674559224
Yeah that's me. Too bad im not white huh Freud?
What's wrong?
>>674559359
Genetics.
>>674559224
Now that's the objectivism
>>674553722
Showing us your tits will probably make you feel better
>>674559096
I am trying, just doing it wrong it seems haha
>>674559452
Im an anon, not female.
>>674559482
Then try again till you get it right.
>>674559499
Did I say you have to be female?
>>674559123
ah, my main exit route was going to be a heroin OD which I was kind of excited for but industrial grade n2 will do me just fine.
>>674559546
They ain't tits on a man, dear. Just breasts.
>>674559499
youre a female you stupid cunt
show tits
Not quite sure how I climbed out of that hole, I mean I'm still depressed and suicidal but it's a lot more tolerable, even sometimes peaceful.
>Have epiphany
>Want friends, love, people I can trust
>Realize I'm an introvert
>They'd just take up time and cause shit
>More likely than not to find someone decent in this shitstain of a world
>Some people aren't supposed to be with people
Didn't want much, just a family and a few friends who I could trust, but shit happens I suppose.
Not sure if I finally gave up or what, but I've been a lot more okay than I have in the last decade. Not sure what to do now, don't like going outside due to agoraphobia; and I go to classes, but social phobia causes a cascading shit effect from even simple small talk.
>>674559695
Im as anon as you, anonymous.
>>674559529
I hope I'll get it right, thank for talking to me anon, was nice of you :)
>>674559839
My pleasure. Ill be back at 7pm tonight.
>>674559884
I'll probably see you then
>>674560049
Have a very safe day
>>674553722
Hey anon. I know where you are right now. It's a terrible place because you feel indifferent towards everything. What has helped me with my depression is just doing things. Slowly at first, maybe one or two things a day be it go for a walk or read a book, you just have to keep consistent and do it everyday. I know that it's hard. It took me a year to get to being able to get out of bed but hey, maybe you'll get lucky and it will be easier on you. What you can't do is give up though anon. I don't know who you are but I really do hope you find something to live for. You still have the will to live so don't let it die. I know I'm being a faggot right now but honestly I don't care. Just little things everyday and before you know it you'll be standing again. I believe you can do it anon i know you have that strength.
>>674560878
Yeah Ialready exercise regularly, go to work and the gym, and eat healthy.
As Imentioned several times, peptalks don't work on genetic diseases.
>>674553722
Medical attention won't get me a job.
That's a pretty top you have on, what are you depressed about?
I've had obvious chemical imbalances since early childhood, to me being depressed is just a state of being. I haven't felt like this much of a failure ever and I haven't felt this useless either. I was bullied pretty badly in high school, not even that depressed, but lately I'm scared I'll never "make it", like I'll be a NEET forever.
You know how primal that fear is? Never getting laid, never making it on my own, never doing anything with life, never having friends because I can't afford to socialise, just locked in my room until I grow old and die. That's when I'm suicidal.
So what are you depressed about? Tell me so I can laugh at you, maybe I'll convince you to laugh with me and we'll feel just a little better to stay around a little while longer.
>>674559721
Going to uni was one of the best times of my life, I love learning. Having nothing to occupy my mind is driving me like a...
>>674559123
I was thinking hanging. Quick, effective and does the job 9/10 times.
I read somewhere that women commit suicide more but men are more successful at it, poison is always unsuccessful because modern medicine is amazing. If you're thinking about poison, is it really an end you want?
I don't want the shame of being nothing anymore.
>>674561046
Im depressed because genetics. Only mentioned it like 50 times.
Depression and sadness are not the same thing.
>>674561164
If so, you've lived with it your whole life? Bursting into tears for no reason? Suddenly lacking all energy? Surely you must have developed ways of handling this, surely? All my family have genetic clinical depression, it's normal for us.
Its when it's mixed with something real to be sad about that it gets dangerous. If it's just this mental illness analyse yourself.
I literally want to die. I have literally felt like shit my whole life for no reason, now I feel shit and useless coupled with this deep fear that there's no repairing my shit. That fear is what's really getting me.
Go to your friends, your real friends not losers online, people I don't have because men don't hang out with people who can't afford to keep up drinking and smoking and women avoid because they're slow status. You can afford heroin? Excellent, shoot up and watch the sunset, I can't afford any intoxication.
Lastly, get the fuck off 4chan. You don't understand this place, I feel it.
>>674553722
what does bleach taste like
>>674561945
Bad. Doesn'thurt you either. Just fucks up your throat.
>>674561926
Dude you sound like a creepy uncle or cartooncharacter. Tone it down.
As for being on /b/, this has been my home for over a decade, newfag. Only one who doesn'tbelong is you.
>>674561926
That fucking post is so edgy I think im bleeding
>>674561926
Is your name flan or loki?
>>674553722
>>674553722
Anon read some damn philosophy or do something to get some perspective on life. Don't just sit around all day and shit post.
>but muh depression is genetic
Honestly just shut up and do something with your life and contribute to society,otherwise you may as well drink bleach
>>674562097
I'm actually depressed. I've fucked it up. No shit I seem weird.
You're a little faggot who can't handle life.
Just fuck off and realise how petty you are.
Genetics... Fucking hell.
>>674553722
You posted this earlier this week OP. Your not fooling anyone
>>674553722
depression doesnt make you suicidal being a useless little special snowflake makes you suicidal. once you realize how menial life actually is and how little your life will ever matter.
depression is often wrongly diagnosed because doctors are dumb twats who want big paychecks but lack critical thinking capabilities and just typically throw pills at problems.
>>674562507
nice phd faggot how'd they let you get that while in high school
>>674562266
I have a job and make good money, and volunteer on weekends. Exactly how am Inot contributing again?
If anything, this is part of my .contributing
>>674562332
Not weird. Creepy.
And if you want to argue medicine and science, I think you'llfind your ignorance .astounding
>>674562398
I'veposted it every day, twice a day. Who was Itrying to fool?
>>674562507
Yeah, that's the least coherent philosophy of depression I've ever heard. Read the dsm or icd sometime.
>>674556140
Don't listen to this anon >>674557366
It is physical. Seriously, I say this in every depression thread and no one ever fucking listens, but I'll say it again. Clean up what you eat. Stop eating all processed shit, move your macronutrients away from sugar and towards animals fats. Promise it helps.
Also, I like how people suggest you get a partner as they assume you're a man. But you're not, and so of course you have one.
>>674553722
wine
>>674562774
I eat healthy. That didn't work. I have a genetic disease; I display markers for it. What Iput into my body will not change genetics!
Also who said Ihave a partner?
You're a retarded faggot. By coincidence i stumble upon your thread again and yesterday you didnt even comprehend the effects of food and behaviour on gene expression. Do unless you educate yourself i hope u rot in your pathetic little depression. Little whiny faggot.
>>674562687
>Not weird. Creepy.
>And if you want to argue medicine and science, I think you'llfind your ignorance .astounding
Yes, women generally find emotional men "creepy," thanks for reminding me. Really makes me hate you more.
You want attention, that's why you're contemplating poison. You know morphine and heroin can be counteracted, you know you can and will be saved after an overdose. This is why you chose it over hanging.
You're attention seeking, you barely understand depression.
Actually, do go kill yourself. Just make sure you do it right, prove to me you're not just attention seeking, like making threads and shit.
>>674562982
idk who told you that but they are wrong.
you need to eat right
now its obvious you are just a fat ass who has body image issues.
>>674553722
I feel suicidal all the time, sometimes I feel like I might actually go through with it. I'm afraid to tell anyone because I don't want to get locked in a psychiatric hospital
>>674563011
Do = So
>>674553722
What's your favorite MCR song?
>>674563011
Wow you still need to read a book. Try again.
>>674563104
Im an anon, not a woman.
Im not contemplating anything, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I never said Iwas going to commit suicide, merely that Iwas suicidal.
Keep your plans to yourself, kid.
>>674563160
Yeah a doctor, scientist, and lab tech. Oh, and the genetic tests done on me using my bone marrow.
I doubt I had a bone marrow biopsy for no reason dude.
>>674563217
That'snot how mental health works in any first world nation.
>>674563353
Im suicidal not .teenaged
>>674563377
Hahaha fucking die useless cunt. Read scientific articles.
>>674563616
I do. Clearly more than you, loki.
>>674563770
You are a fool, have a good life, narrow minded fuck
>>674564035
Ill stick to evidence not fantasy thanks.
Does this mean you wont be in my threads? If so, thankyou. That stirs something close to happiness in me.
>>674562677
general education... for the general public...
the people who are known for their intellect
eh but this is more you trying to infer that im a child.
and im responding like a care about any kind of rebuttle or recourse from you and not just doing this to feed my own idea that perhaps you are just trolling and arent actually a sophomoric twat who leads with insults to cover redundancy
but thats my bane. putting hope in people.
>>674562758
i got a better idea. go wipe dog shit in your eyes because i couldnt give less of a fuck about how visually appealing or smooth sounding my message is.
if you arent retarded you get it. if you are then idc go back to listening to your music and making snide remarks on facebook about how you got it all figured out.
>>674564577
Except your message is at odds with reality. Therefore, I reject it. I don't claim to have it all figured out, but I know what I know. Took two years of neuropharmapsychology for a reason, dude.
Also, im at work. Why would Iaccess facebook at work?
>>674564577
Well you generalized that all doctors are dumb twats.
Depression obviously makes people suicidal.
and
" being a useless little special snowflake makes you suicidal. once you realize how menial life actually is and how little your life will ever matter."
Are you fucking 12?
i wish i could always be at a mental ward. i miss it. but i have schizophrenia. and abunch of other shit. but skitzo is what makes me suffer. its painful,scary, and i get scary thoughts. i see different dementions,vision things,and overall just shit that makes ya go down the rabbit hole.
ive gotten better i was at a risdual stage. but i noticed it coming back. ive only had skitzoprenia for alil over a year and a half.
>>674565107
What meds are you on?
Don't.worry. No matterhow far youslip, you'llcome back up for air eventually. If not, ill drag you out kicking and screaming.
>>674562982
"I eat healthy".
Define this for me.
But okay, lets go with what you're saying. You have permanent brain damage. Go to a psychiatrist and ask them to work on a cocktail of pills to correct it.
>>674563011
Oh my fucking god anon are you on my side??
>>674565391
Yes, I already did that. Im not an idiot; im a psychologist. My depression is intractable; ive been on every antidepressant that currently exists. Waiting to go into a trial for new ones.
And I eat 1500 calories a day; my basal metabolic rate is 1300, and Iam trying to gain weight.
Generally Ieat a mix of home cooked meals, with a mix of mostly lean meat, corn, squash, and green beans. I supplement some vitamins as I am disabled and tend to lackcertain things, like b6. I also eat bananas every morning to prevent cramps.
My food choices are also rather limited due to my disability, which is why they are planned quite strictly with help by my doctor and .dietitian
You know, because I dnt just fucking sit and weep every day and then gorge on chocolate?
I have an update on the anon who left his home.
On the night it happened, he later snuck back in to sleep and gather some things.
He then rode a train somewhere and slept a night in a hotel.
Now he's leaving for Liverpool where he's supposed to meet with an old friend of his.
He seems happier now.
>>674566927
Happy that worked out.
>>674553722
You wanna join the Kik group now
>>674567067
Not at all.
