How do I lie on my resume and get away with it?
I'm trying to get a job that starts at $15 an hour, been sending out resumes and no call backs
Apply for enough places that it wont matter if you get turned down for a few
>>674526474
lie about what?
>>674526474
Learn actual skills you fucking waste
>>674527294
I'm trying but I need money this is taking too long
>>674526474
Protip: They don't actually care you love to suck cock, you don't have to mention it.
>>674527476
Experience mainly
Just ways to make mg resume more attractive
>>674527575
lying is a skill.
>>674527801
in that case, you don't have to lie - you just have to identify experiences that don't immediately spring to mind, or may seem so obvious you don't even notice them
lying is always a bad idea strategically - you want to be able to consistently back up your claims, and do so aggressively
if there's something you feel inadequate about, it's because you did so deliberately - you just have to come up with an impressive reason why
Plausible exaggeration. Former employers are only allowed to answer 2 questions if a potential employer calls them.
1. Did you work there?
2. Would they rehire you?
You were a trainer. You were a lead. You were a manager. You were the top performer for X months. They can't verify that shit from your previous employer.
>>674526474
sorry OP, maybe you just got midgit luck
>>674528415
Bullshit.
Work nights for UPS. Join Teamsters, become driver.
profit at 30+/hr in 4years.
>>674528246
Listen buddy I'm trying to get a real job here not work at fucking McDonalds
I'm emailing my shit to people who most likely get hundreds of resumes daily. There has to be a way to get mine noticed
>>674528415
I'm sorry but I just dont believe that
Tell them you worked for a business that no longer exists. I got a job, i shit you not, by saying my employer for 5 years was aperture technologies as a computer aided testing associate.
Best of luck
>>674528415
Has to be tha bait
>>674528571
I work very closely with our hiring manager. Now, I'm in FL, the laws vary, but here's a decent reference.
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/employee-rights-book/chapter9-6.html
>>674529169
I was thinking of doing this but what about references? I have literally zero people I can use as a reference
>>674528939
I'm talking about a real job - short answer: be a minority or a female
that's how they'll notice you
otherwise you're fucked - and that's a cold, hard fact you'll be forced to confront
your only hope is nepotism - contact friends, family, and friends of friends
your credentials won't matter - they just want you to show up on time, not complain, and be inexpensive
tell them u used to work at google
Can someone take OPs picture and shop it so the chain goes into her ass?
>>674526474
I work in a casino and I do pic related>>674528453
I also racially discriminate; if I see a Vietnamese or a white person I'll pass them through the background regardless
>>674526474
Be a hot woman
>>674529443
Well I am Hispanic but I don't have a typical Spanish last name, its closer to Italian
Plus I'm not gonna put my race on my resume that's just cringe worthy shit there
>>674529413
The business no longer exists. You have no way to get in touch with your former associates. No referances, but if its believable, better than what you actually were doing, and salaried above the wage you'll get at the job your applying for, your set. Ill fake as a referance for ya if you drop a burner email.
>>674526474
Post your resume on here and let's have a look at it.
If you're getting rejected for $15/hour job, you must've fucked up bad.
>>674529783
lol ya right faggot I'm not gonna give you my email so you can hack my shit
the good ol I'll back u as a reference trick, not falling for that shit
>>674526474
>your only hope is nepotism >>674529443 this is another way right here; it's not what you know, it's who you know
>>674529717
samefag
>>674528939
I replied to the wrong post before. Check here for your state's laws regarding what your past employers can disclose. It's not all encompassing, but a good reference. http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/employee-rights-book/chapter9-6.html
>>674530260
If I could do that I wouldve by now
I don't have any connections so I'm just looking around pretty much
>>674529776
I denied this one application for valet for 5 years because he put his Spanish name on his resume; José Mixbreed. As soon as he put his first name as "Joe" on his application he got hired. His last name was Schultz if I remember correctly and he had more experience than most of the other valet applicants but I never cleared him because of the José as his first name.
I've been lying on my resume for years. Just don't put anything you cant back up is all. If you know how to use Microsoft Office say you took a class and got a cert. If you need to have some particular skill learn it yourself with YouTube vids then say you took a course.
>>674531111
Well like I said I don't have a Spanish name but I do live in a pretty ghetto city, so that might be playjng a factor
Should I leave out my address in my resume?
>>674531510
I did. Replaced it with a linkd in profile url instead. Big companies/corps are moving that way.
>>674531510
>should I leave out my address?
Only in extreme cases (i.e. Compton, Chicago, etc.) but I honestly don't check that shit unless I'm actually doing my job. From the shift managers I've talked to they don't like people who live more than 30 minutes away because they feel these people are more likely to be clocking in late. I don't know how other people outside the casino industry feel about it.
In my personal opinion I think it's the exact opposite; people who live further away from work at more likely to be on time, but I imagine the shift managers know what they're talking about.
>>674532541
Ya that's pretty accurate every job I've had that was 20+ mins I was always late as fuck lol until they say something about it
>>674532112
I might just do that because clearly what I'm doing isn't working at all
>>674532541
And the shift managers feel these people are less likely to come to work if they are called in.
>>674533010
Actually I take that back I've always been late to work except for my first job
In b4 tumblr faggotry: google searched and saved first image. $15 an hour is not that much. I'm making $12 working corporate security. Also it helps to apply while you're still holding a job, it looks really bad if your last date range does not end with a variation of "still employed".
>>674533286
Being late to work just doesn't fly at my work. My boss expects me at work AT LEAST 15 minutes early.
>>674533731
Well that was the plan but I said fuck it and quit this week. I got sick of dealing with dumb shit
But I forgot how much it sucks not having a job so hence why I'm asking for advice
>>674533798
tell him to sod of, what a plonker
>>674534526
I can't do that. I love her to death. I've known her forever. She's a funny bitch. But on top of all that she's good friends with my ma.
Say you used to work for a bank then change your voicemail to "Hello, this is the bank."
Say you're not black, you'll probably get hired