ITT: Dick Puns I call my dick "Age of Ultron" because

>>674511361
I call my dick "my cat that died 2 weeks ago and is buried in the garden", because I buried my dick in the garden and my mother started crying.

I call my dick "a book" because it's too hard and no one uses it anymore.

I call my dick the game ender, because once I pull it out in the livingroom, its game over.

I call my dick grandpa, cause no one wants to visit it anymore

I call my dick "12 black guys", because it also was in your mom.

I call my dick "dick", because dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

I call my dick "Helle Keller", because it too, is useless and bumps into things

I call my dick "your daughter's toothbrush" because I want her to brush her teeth with my penis and use my cum as the toothpaste.

I call my dick "Bernie Sanders supporter", because when you see it you laugh, but you feel a little bit sad on the inside.

>>674512764
I like this one

I call my dick the government because it's always there, no one's really a fan of it, and it fucks people over

I let the best drop like old people with polio

Bitches can't handle my shit
They get really excited when they see my dick
My dick pays rent and my dick pays quick

So I got a little story that'll rattle your tits

My dick plays on the double feature screen
Your dick went straight to DVD

I call my dick Africa, because its full of AIDS.

I call my dick homeless because those are the only people who will touch it

I call my dick minecraft because only autistic people experience it

So things between this chick and I have been getting pretty serious. She even named my penis, she calls it "Wtf, get that thing away from me"

I call my dick penis because he's a real asshole

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>>674513292
You think of that one all on your own?

>>674512764
>>674512978
well played

>>674515395
Gracias, dick.

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>>674513678
You got that all wrong nigger.

I call my dick minecraft because it attracts kids of all ages.

I call my dick polio, because after it's done a bitch can't walk right.

I'm like Subway: I have really low quality meat and I lie about how big 6 inches is.

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I call my dick "head trauma" because it put a girl into a coma, I call your dick "uranium" because it gave her mesothelioma.

My bitch call my dick, Richard cause she familiar with that nigga