Hey /b/ so I've decided to kill myself. I'm planning
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Hey /b/ so I've decided to kill myself. I'm planning on doing it this Sunday around 11 so I can be found fresh right after my family gets back from church. Thing is though I don't want it to be devastating on my family I want them to find my body and giggle a little, you know feel light hearted about my death. What method or pose or whatever would you /b/tards recommend to accomplish this?
Don't do it
>>674507840
I'm past that point honestly I'm just looking for a way to make it easier on everyone else.
>>674507618
OD on all the medicine in your cabinets
There's no way to lighten the fact you killed yourself.
>>674507993
I don't see the comedy in that though.
>>674507988
Nah op it's never too late. You only get one live bro. Life is worth living no matter how shitty things are now
>>674507618
I would probably brain myself,Ive got a few boot knife and ive always wondered how easy it would be to stab someone in the fucking head.but more blood the better.fuck them and everyone one around after the fact the pretends to care.
>>674508222
Trips confirms you must listen
>>674508222
Check em OP. Trips speaks truth.
>>674507618
Pull your own head off. Or throw yourself in front of a jogger.
Clown costume?
>>674508222
Take this faggot with you
>>674507618
https://youtu.be/LQZLPV6xcHI
Bloody Sunday
In a batman suit with a belt around your neck
Your family will never take your death easy, no matter how you end up doing it.
That is fact, they will not chuckle if you're posing funny, they won't think back to it years later and laugh.
The only thing that will be on their mind is how they failed you, and that guilt will remain with them for the rest of their life.
Hope you wind up in hell OP, godspeed.
>>674508588
Blackface?
why are you gonna do this OP?
>>674507618
Why would you do it, purposefully, right before they get home from church, and not have them be traumatized? Thats just stupid. Its this kind of retardation that have brought where you are today.
>>674508846
>>674508588
>>674508801
I like where this is going, (OP btw) let's build on these ideas.
ya thats some stupid shit bro, stop being a depressed pussi, i lost both my parents before age 18 . your a fucking faggot chin yourself up i havent killed myself yet
You stand on the stool, hang the cheese wire off the ceiling so it cannot fall off (it's a noose, basically), you put your head through the cheese wire noose, then you super glue your hands to the sides of your head, and kick the stool away. The cheese wire will slice off your head, and it'll look like you pulled off your own head.
>>674507618
black comedy in never as funny in real life as in a movie or tv show.
>>674509444
While wearing a clown costume.
>>674509749
In blackface.
Give your self a pink sock and use that to hang yourself. Or just don't do it
>>674508804
fucking /thread
>>674510069
What is a pink sock?
>>674510150
>>674510150
devasted anus, intestines coming out
>>674507618
twice failed suicide here, od'ing might be the least hard on family, looks like accident
>>674509124
you should tho.
>>674508804
this. It must be nightmarish finding your child dead. I imagine even worse if you died trying to be funny about it.
>>674510264
Not looking for accident credibility. Just want them to have a final dark chuckle when they find my body
.>>674509813
>>674509749
are on the right track.
>>674509124
I love seeing the "screw you, everyone pity me instead" shit.
>>674510264
mom's a junkee, she's still got the toirekit on.
>>674509124
hHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I want to seriously know is OP is putting out some low quality click bait or if this fag is serious.
>>674510675
I mean, if you have the bleach wouldn't it be easier to just drink the bleach?
How about you get a couple of 2x4s and make a 'T'
Stand on a table and tie yourself to it after youve put the rope arround your neck
Jump off the table.
Hanging crucifix when they get home from church.
Paint a smile on your face for added humor.
>>674507618
You have a seriously fucked up outlook if you think that it won't be devastating.
Your death won't be lighthearted.
>>674507988
if you really want to make it easier on everyone else, dont kill yourself lol
that would be hard for everybody to deal with
what would be easy to deal with is you appearing to not be depressed anymore
if you actually care about them you'll AT LEAST pretend youre better, and realistically you need to eventually do whatever it takes to beat depression
im personally depressed myself and think about suicide everyday, but i never run out of opportunities (usually missed) to better myself and I will hold myself accountable for my effect on the people who love me by at least not killing myself, knowing full well how bad that would be for everybody who knows me
they say suicide isnt selfish, and yeah, i dont personally believe in free will anyway, so I dont exactly blame anybody who does kill themselves, it was a physical reality, their brain was simply broken, because the brain's purpose was to keep them alive and it failed, its broken, not "their fault" so to speak
but i think you have to synthesize that with the fact that we all still have opportunities every day to live better and those will always be better options than suicide for the people around you
Its not too late. It's never too late.
>>674511269
In blackface
>>674507618
What's your age? Please don't do it. Are you American? You can have oportunities there to change your life.
I'm from Spain with 20% of unemployment, and 31y, with a lot of bad luck and mistakes on my back, and hurting memories (even if not too dramatic as car accidents or war but they still hurt).
It's me who has no other option but please I'm sure you do. Don't do it dude. At least wait until you're 35y.
If you just work out and don't get isolated, it's very difficult to not get a pussy at some point. Just saying you might as well give it a chance.
>>674507618
Wear a clown suit
Clown
>>674508222
ORDER OF REPEATING DIGITS IS TRUTH
Please dont bro, make life adjustments. Go move out into the boonies in Australia and live off the land or some shit that's be badass.
If you wait 10 more days, you can dress up as a rabbit.
>>674509444
Trips for the Stanhope method
do a flip fgt
>>674507618
You god damn coward. Do you not think that your family is trying. For fucks sake at least have the common decency to tell them it wasnt their fault in your pathetic suicide note.
Dont kill yourself
Don't be a little fucking bitch! you wanna kill yourself so you come here and tell us. you sound like an attentionfag, if your life is hard than do something bout it, if you just suck at it and see what comes next then go for it.
Do not do it man you have so much to live for & you only live once.
do it faggot
no seriously, if you kill yourself you're a fucking retard*
* 1) you're legitimately retarded
2) ▲┤you lost your life over some temporary bullshit
3) what the fuck, man the fuck up nigger
4) wow you're ready to kill yurself? world's oyster nigger
Can we get a back story to this just interested? Like how did you get here?
>>674512522
Has this been done?
buy a 3Ds and get into competitive pokèmon battling. Smoke weeds and do shrooms. Join an MMA club. Film youtube pranks. Devote your life to helping people. Or kill yourself. Do whatever the fuck you want. The world goes on with or without you. Might as well seek fulfillment and enjoyment
>Tape construction paper over a bottle of bleach
>write in crayon "Huppy juwic"
>drink bleach
>die
>have your ghost shmuch it up when your family finds your body
>>674507618
>find gassmask
>wear it
>attach tube to gassmask
>place other end of tube onto penis
>shove my little pony toy up your ass
>eat a meal of grease and spice before so you shit all over yourself
It'll be top jokes m80 trust me
>>674507840
>>674508222
>>674508396
>>674508804
>>674509124
>>674511281
>>674511483
>>674512969
>>674513567
>>674513161
>>674513816
When did /b/ become so fucking gay. Fuck this piece of shit. If he wants to kill himself then good. One less liece of ahit scum on this earth. Why the fuck would we want people to populate this earth if they dont even give a shit. Fuck a suicide someone execute this bitch.
>>674507618
Hey buddy. Been through some depression here too. Very glad I never offed myself. Not every day is good, but survive this and some day youll be glad you did. Hang in there, kid. Reach out to some of the folks who care about you.
>>674514657
Now here's an OG 4chan user
Think about whose going to miss you when you do this man, but a good way to give the cops a giggle at least is to put two pens or pencils up your nose, pointy end up, and slam your head as hard as you can on the table. Its not guarenteed to work so make sure you have a backup in case you fail and dont end up a vegetable with an even more misrable life
>>674514657
For real, (op here) literally this thread is bait. Props to all who made a joke out of it. Anyone taking it seriously is retarded.
