How get this Christian girl in bed?
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
How get this Christian girl in bed?
>>674303729
Don't bother.
>>674303729
Rohypnol
Marriage.
>>674304037
>>674303920
>>674303858
All valid answers.
Turn on some Creed and pretend it's 1996
Baseball bat
well OP,
first put a bag on her head, then shoot her in the head, and then put her on your bed.
>>674303729
Sneak acid into her food and tell her your penis is Jesus.
Wait a few hours, she'll get sleepy and go to bed on her own. Then rape the cunt.
>>674304037
Ok how can I get her to marry me?
>>674303729
8 inches, its all about that these days, get yourself a penis extender and use it for a whole fucking year
>>674304690 just get that money bro, bitches love money
>>674304796
Still in college though, I'll probably earn pretty good once I'm done studying but that's a long way to go
>>674303729
I've been there op. I know how they think. Their number one fetish is to turn someone's life around. So pretend to be an alcoholic, drug addict, whatever on the point of suicide. Go to church at odd hours and pretend to pray. She has to witness enough of you kneeling alone by the altar possibly sobbing for this to work. Once she sees the opportunity to intervene she will approach you and ask "you ok anon?" Nows your chance. Say no. You don't need her help and go back to praying. The trap has sprung and it's only a matter of time before she hops on your dick. She doesn't know it yet, but you've just tickled that part of her where she has to intervene and help you out of your dump. The power of Christ compels her after all. You keep up the fascade of vulnerability and
>>674304796
Truth. Study your ass off - go to med school. You won't get a lot of pussy for like 8 years, but in the end you'll be drowning in beautiful pussy. Law School would be quicker, but there are so many lawyers already.
>>674303729
ask her if she is legit christian, like full on, preacher and shit, or if she just believes and isn't a little cunt,
if first answer, marry, rape, or give up
if second answer, marry, rape, girlfriend, pay her, become friends with benefits, ask her if she want to experiment (if virgin), seduce, she will fall for you, or just give up
>>674305023
Then focus on fucking cheap whores until you get an established career and quit dreaming about an unrealistic future until you make a future for yourself..... fag
>>674303729
Chloroform, duct tape, rope, etc.
>>674305135
true true, med school needs more people who wanna be doctors
>>674305086
bump
>>674303729
save her life, she will behooved to fuck you at least once
>>674303729
marry her you heathen cunt
>>674305621
>this
KEK
Anal
>>674305246
yeah totally legit, she even went to some African country to do some missionary work
>>674303729
Not worth it, they will try to get pregnant to tie you down and then brain wash your kids against you
Tell her that God said to fuck you. If she says no, she's disobeying God.
>>674305678
As a worshiper in the cult of mysteries. I take offense to this statement.
>>674305833
Ha, they you don't have a shot. She is in on that nigger dick
>>674305621
which brings me to the question how I get to marry her? I wouldn't even mind really, she's pretty much perfect
>>674303729
Tell her that butt sex doesn't count and she can still be a vaginal virgin for jesus
>>674305981
Have her convert you to her faith and she'll fall for you if you're not completely autistic. Going to church with her is an excuse to get to know her. If you act interested and dedicated to her faith she's all yours.
>>674305920
chill bro we are all faggots here on /b we dont descriminate
>>674305981
Convert to christianity, become a catholic if you want to be part of the cool club
If necessary, convert her to catholicism, the only true faith
Afterwards, just don't be an asshole, be direct and say you're attracted to her but never say the L word before she does and fuck like rabbits
>>674306354
Ah the "Costanza", would make sense if I wasn't already of the same faith, I am though
1. take her to vegas
2. make her drunk
3. fast-marry her
if she is truly a christian, she will never divorce you
Love her like the flower she is anon
>>674305833
romeo and juliet shit bro, make it so you two can fall in love, get married like they did and fuck then die together, juliet was like a virgin too and romeo still got her, oh wait, juliet died a virgin thoe, and romeo never got dat pussy, never mind
>>674305135
True, lawyer here. Money isn't a sure thing and being a depressed prosecutor making 40k ain't a pussy magnet. I mean I make 6 figures and plow a tight pussy attached to a hot blond but I'm not the norm.
>>674306570
>convert her to catholicism, the only true faith
Bitch please, Gnosticism is the only true christian way
>>674306868
>>674306892
mix these two posts together, BAM, you got your answer OP
>>674306885
Shut up, Donald. Lol.
>>674307044
That's literally just ancient autism though
>>674307083
kek
>>674303729
Why would you want to?
>>674307083
Im not Donald im Moot and when its in her bumb you know shell toot
Get her in a room alone, take your pants off and tell her that you are god tier
>>674303729
Tell her you're the second cumming.
>>674306929
>tfw lawyers dont get as much pussy as most people think they do
>>674307302
>god tier
i see what you did there anon, kek
>>674303729
Eat the ass.
>>674303729
you goddam stupid animals. this is a TRAP. A MAN with TITS.
jesus
>Marriage
This you lazy sack of shit.
If you don't love her you won't get to fuck her.
On the plus side though you get to be her first everything and she'll be loyal to you and love for the rest of your life, which is a lot more than most of the other young cumdumpster sluts around nowadays if you value that sort of thing
>>674307433
HOLY SHIT
how did i not realize sooner
THIS IS THE ANSWER ANON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfRtkCGE40A
>>674307330
I'm agreeing dude. But I've never had a problem. I'm also decent looking and seems to be somewhat charming.
>>674307605
bumping for interest
>>674307605
kek, hey OP here is a solution :)
>>674303729
Christian girl? They are easy as fuck!! Just be a "bad boy" and this whores are yours!
>>674307505
not really though >_>
>>674307957
kek
>Sneak acid into her food and tell her your penis is Jesus
>>674307505
HOW CAN U PROVE IT'S A TRAP??
>>674308074
This hits me so hard.
it could be a trap though if you think about it.
>>674303729
1.) Make her read "The God Delusion."
2.) She will realize her stupidity.
3.) Having abandoned her morality, she will turn to the dark lord Satan and embrace animal lust.
Hope this helps!
>>674308579
ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha kek
>>674307955
virgin detected
you watch too many movies
>>674308486
What's with you people and traps? That's a weird obsession you guys have. And if she was I'd probably heard in the years I knew her, also being hardcore Cristian and transexual don't go well together, just a thought.
>>674303729
Cross your legs.
>>674305981
>christian
>perfect
pick one
make her listen to this 100 times, she will be in bed no problem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-sgw9bPV4A
>New Chan opened
http://just-sexy.ru/
>>674309947
yeah, in bed with the cancer she would get from this, kek
>>674309947
bump for interest
>>674309947
wat, the, actual, FUCK
>>674310203
kek indeed
>>674304190
>>674310203
>new meme saved for reposts
>>674303729
Got a body pic, OP?
As a Bible thumper myself, id say the best plan would be to wait until dark, and if she's had a really long day, then probably well before midnight she'll put on her jammies and get in bed without any help.
Unless maybe shes disabled and your actually asking how to assist her? One arm under her lower back, one arm under her knees. Lift with your legs, not your back! Lay her on the bed and tuck her in.
Best of luck anon!
>>674309347
yeah right, being Christian is not a bad characteristic, in general Christians are more positive than non-beliefers. I'm not even into religion, it's just an observation
>>674311005
What you did there... I see it.
Be sexually attractive you retard.
>>674304095
Dumbass that doesn't know religious girls are fucking whores.
>>674304190
Might straighten those eyes out...
>>674307044
Go die in a fire, you prick
Lie
Just pretend to have really strong morals.
>>674311494
This
Be a genetically superior male
>>674307604
Not OP, but that seems like a bretty gud deal.
bitch look like Nicolas Cage
>>674312426
rlly?
>>674304690
I can see it right now, you ave to change for her
>changes for girl
>adopts Yahweh's laws as own
>votes only Republican
>Swears off carnal desires such as masturbation and anal
>Asks her parents for her hand
>"Sorry anon, I know I told you I was waiting for marriage, but Tyrone was just so understanding and I let him sow his seed in all of my holes."
>yfw
>>674305135
Dentist here.
Only takes 4 years after college and you will get tons of pussy while in school. Lots of female students stressed out, they need a release. Once you get out, I am serious, you need to beat them off of you. Mothers and grandmothers will offer there daughters to you.
>>674305086
You are a degenerate. This is why Christians are so exclusionary, your heresy is why their parents send them to bible camp
>>674306172
Bump
>>674313376
Truth
>>674305833
There is only one way for you to get with her, and it sure isn't going to be through any means you like. She sounds like a devoted Christian, and will only consider guys who value Christ as much as she does. Since you only seem to want sex, there's no chance for you. Unless you're willing to adopt Christianity truthfully and honestly, sorry bro.
>>674303729
Love her and the Lord hard as you can until she buys it...or you do.
There are so many nice girls who aren't insane through religion I;d just fine another girl if i were you. The religious ones are pretty when they are young, but you realise later they were always batshit crazy.....and you were blinded by the pretty.
>>674303729
jew wish
>>674303729
She got plowed by a nigger when she was a missionary in African. This is what these Christian bitches do
Ask her if she knows Brad and Lani
>>674303729
OP post nudes of her
>>674305981
Ignore all of these heathens, they are trying to convince you to live a lie. If you really care enough for her, not only will you believe in the Word, but you will live by it honestly. A relationship founded on lies only lasts so long, hurting both in the end. There's someone for everyone, and if you're willing to do this, then she may be it. If not, there will be any other chick on the street who'll give you your carnal fix.
>>674314437
Bullshit. These bitches deep down are sluts. Just game her like any other slut
>>674314932
Dude, that's not what I heard. Well she did go to Africa for church reasons and she did get fucked by a long cocked nig-nog; but it wasn't in missionary.
>>674315299
Dubs speak truth
>>674303729
kinda looks like ellie from the last of us
>>674313863
I'm an atheist and I'm gonna send my son to degenerate bible camp too, he's gonna learn the most perverse twisted shit and people will think it was a good decision
>>674315020
Ha wish I had any :/
>>674303729
Show her this thread
>>674303729
catholic and christian chicks love to fuck. if she pulls some save my virginity bullshit on you just offer to fuck her in the ass.
>>674315707
to assert dominance?
>>674303729
Younger christian girls want the dick. If they're of the heavy handed parent variety, they'll fuck. Probably will anyway given enough coaxing, because women love to do wrong shit.
I dated a Christian milf, she wanted to fuck more than I did. Sucking, fucking, anal, whatever. However, the word "fuck" was off limits. She said it exactly one time that I can recall, during some rant about her ex-husband. I could rail her in the ass out of wedlock, no problem. If i happened to say fuck in general conversation she threw a hissy fit.
Bottom line, women fuck a lot and will tell you what you want to hear. Christian girls are no exception.
>>674315843
>mfw anon realizes Catholics aren't necessarily Christians
Listen to catholic girls by frank zappa and you will realise how easy they are
>>674316621
Women love honesty
>>674318333
Trips of truth
>>674317043
Curious where you're going.
>>674318333
No they fucking don't. They love what they perceive as honesty, but what is in fact a convincing lie. They want to be fooled and tricked, they don't want honesty.
>>674318736
"Honesty" is slang for nigger cock. Check urban dictionary
Turn her into a neckbeard 300 lb internet athiest badass and she will surely suck your 1 inch cock while listening to the amazing athiest.
>>674318333
women love to abuse honesty while lying their ass off. fuck your trips.
>>674303729
Tie her to a cross
>>674315299
it depends somewhat.
If she's the kind that says about wanting too keep "pure" and how it's sin to think about sex, then alarm bells to her being a massive slut.
However, if she's one that doesn't deny that she has the same desires as everyone else as it's perfectly natural, that sex education is a must for schools and that she understands that waiting till marriage is extremely difficult and as such doesn't judge others that disagree with the notion. Then you're hitting a brick wall unless you're looking for wife material.
>Source: Former non-Christfag who (became one for reasons unrelated) dated a couple of them, then married one who was steadfast in the waiting and convinvce/tricked me into wanting to wait too.
>>674303729
tell her you need the holy spirit sucked out of your cock
>>674318586
The religion that is Catholicism believes that the Pope is instituted as God's middleman to salvation, when in fact what only matters is your personal relationship and worship with God. The belief in saints is also flawed; neither is it legitimately confirmed as a role for man to fill in the Word, but it is also another excessive belief factor. Both the Pope and Saints can cause less-informed believers to focus their worship on them, instead of God himself. Saints are of pagan origin, regarding the belief of individual beings granting divine blessings for those who pray to them, like ancient Greco-Roman gods and goddesses. The fact that this religion blinds the eyes of its followers with idolatry is why not all Catholics are Christians. Those who worship the Holy Trinity alone are true believers. I don't even want to start on the subject of Purgatory.
she's not a virgin OP
don't kid yourself
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