Green text retard story
The story of Goshko
pic related
my first green text hope you guys enjoy
got everything pretyped so you wont wait long
>>674263831
this story builds up as the subject gorws older
>be me
>be 8 years old
>be on the street with the other kids infront of the block
>be playing with some toy cars on a drawn with chalk racing track
the idea is to give the cars a push so they travel enough but not to go out side of boundries
>gang is playing this for quite some time and seems pretty fun
>gang got bored out of it
>only me ang Goshko (who from here on we will call G) wanted to play more
>we thought we know the solution - we needed another track
>we decided to build one super huge track and we had some fresh asphalt pavement to draw it on
>been drawing for hours and finally finished
>show it to gang and they did not like it - too big
>we decide to play by ourselves
>after the game it was dark outside and some one gave the idea that it would be fun running in the dark completely naked
>somewhat sane i changed his mind and went home
This was the first time i noticed that G is stupid, but that never stopped me from playing with him and being best buds for a few years
and it was nothing special except that we were picked upon by oter kids
>>674263906
We moved away and after 3 years we go back
>FF 5 years
>see the gang all happy to see me back
>decide to play soccer with them to celabrate and to catch up
>G shows up with his now best to be friend Denis
>Denis is cool and intelligent and hangs out with G cuz mostly he does Denis' biding
>and like a thuner from a clear sky he spits out something
>sais say a joke (in native "kaji shega be" )
>i tarted to tell him the first joke that comes to mind
>G casts interupt and flash backs "say a joke"
>i try a different joke and then he stops me there again with the same phrase "say a joke"
>whattheactualfuck.tar.gz
>in awe i have no idea what the actual fuck is happening
>Denis intervines and explains to me that i have to say litterally "a joke" ( shega be )
>shell shocked i am out of words the only thing that i could come up with is to say fuck no
>he insists
>threaten to beat the shit out of him
>when he spits it out again i charge at him
>then i discovered that he has another superpower
>he fucking runs like a horse - i cant fucking catch up with him
>me.exe has stopped running
>fucking exhausted
>gang sais that they tried but no1 can catch that nigger-of-a-kind fuck
should i cont ?
>>674264063
this is the point where retardness builds up
>can't remember when
>one guy from the crew brakes his hand
>next day he has a cast
>crew calls broken hand guy the shaman
>shaman was really cool and simple man
>shaman was also as big as fuck and i mean not fat fucking huge
>when he showe next day he had a huge cast arround his already big arm
>his entire arm was casted almost to the shoulder
>then out of nowhere G fades onto the stage with Denis
>everything is cool cuz Denis is miring the cast so does G
>evryone is at this point talking with the shaman about other stuff (things that kids would be intrested at the age of 13-15 in te 90s )after a few questions regarding weater it hurts or not
>thunderstruck.gif
>it's been already good 10 minutes after the cast is no longer a subject of discusion and G drops A Question
>"did the doctor put the cast on you? "
>needless to say no body cared weather it is a doctor , nurse , a priest or some1 else and not to mention it was rather self explanatory
>we started bashing him with words and then more retarded questions came out
>questions that cannot be recreated in any scientific environment
>we felt obligated to beat the stupid shit out of him
>needless to say we did not catch him
>after this day every1 knew that this soccer monkey had another super power: to ask THE questions
>>674263831
>>674264693
little background storry regarding the gang
>G was a skinny litte creature just like elmo
>G had a little darker skin than the rest of us but couldn't be really branded even a gipsy and allways had the surprised look on his face like he rediscoveres the world every day
>Denis on the other hand was a little lard ball but was amazingly fast for such
>the sole reason why Denis and G were best friends is that they lived in the same part of the block
>we have 3 Martins
>The largest Marting we will call him Martin (cuz he is the biggest and he gets to keep his name)
>the shortest Marting was actually the oldest but he was nicknamed the flea
>the last Martin we called the sniper cuz he had glasses and was practically blind without them
>Sniper was related to George who we get to call Gogich
>Sniper and Gogich did not live in the block they lived in a house across our small streat
>every one of this nicknames come from the same person which was named Viktor
>Viktor and his best friend who we got to call Dog were total jerks
>there was this creature that strongl resembles Smeagol but the young years we get to call him the Gnome
>His parrents were super sized
>i mean they were slightly obease but damn they were tall and huge , his father was like the hulk
>so did Gnome grew up tall at the age of 7 he was 1.50 meters as high as most of us (by the age of 13 he was 1.75m high)
>>674265110
>some1 from the gang has found a few kittens and sows them to us
>we go to see them
>they were in the patch of trees in front of the block
>we decide that we will take care of them
>though the day we cuddle and play with the kittens
>one of us bought some dry cat food
>luckily the kittens were old enough to eat
>everyone was there even Denis and G
>and G decides it is a good idea to see what the kittens eat
>he fucking eats a few grains of it
>he fucking likes it
>stupified one of the gang who comes up with the nicknames sais "are you a ricket" (refering to the medical condition rickets that deforms the bones)
>thus has been born a new type of insult for stupidity because one was really needed
>>674265363
>as time passes we discover that G likes to do things in his own way
>the entrance of the block had a locking door and G never ever carried a key or anything else for that matter with the exception of a socker ball
>G never leaves without a socker ball
>when he needed to go home for some reason or to ask for some money to get something from the shop the following happens
>G lives on the 7th floor with his grandma and grandpa
>G carefully positions himself under all the balconies
>G assumes a specific position like telegaph pole with his head leaning backwards
>then G starts shouting " GRAMMA , GRAMMA , GRAMMA... "
>G changes tactics if granny does not show on the window
>G starts to screach "GRANPA , GRANPA , GRANPA ..." (they were nice elderly people)
>G was restricted to those two tactics to open a door
>G switches between untill it is opened
>Some times G awakens the unholly wrath of uncle Ilko who is actually sleeping
>with a mighty intimidating shout of a dreadlord he banishes G from the land with some threats to dismember some limbs
>Ilko was no joke , he did bad things to people who disturbed him
>thus G banishe he forms an idea
>heisthinkingagain.jpeg
>he goes from the back side of the block and starts his song of door opening again
>"GRAMMA ,GRAMMA ,GRAMMA ,GRANPA , GRANPA , GRANPA ..."
>>674265647
>be verry hot summer
>be at late noon time early afternoon
>we are outside with the gang and playing socker
>the deathrays of the sun are weakening
>defeated by exhaustion and sun ray barrage we are hungry
>we head home in a group but something is not right
>there are no summoning screaches
>G has a key for the first time!
>some kind of cataclysm has happened to be a witnes of this event
>his Grandparents will be out the entire day
>i go gome in and out as fast as possible so we can continue and i am one of the first kids outside
>we wait soon the rest of them stream in in a good 10 minutes
>the only ones that are missing are G and Denis
>then Denis bursts out of the entrance laughing
>he explains why they took so long
>he actually ate at home and was quick so he went to see how G is doing
>G was sill busy making some food
>G is not used to forage for food for himself, the fridge jungle is a hostile place for him
>Denis explains that he was buttering some bread
>but it was not the fact that he was buttering bread slowly that was strange, but how he was doing it
>G was motherfocking using a SPOON instead of a knife to do it
>MFW he confirmed with a dead serious face
>we died laughing
>later that day we discovered that he was fapping by pulling the forskin on his dick instead of stroking it like a normal person